DISCLAIMER: None of these characters belong to me. I'm just playing in the Stargate sandbox.
TIMELINE: 2006 – Season 10
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story comes courtesy of a thread on the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) forums where we were challenged to work the phrase "I Support Pluto!" into our novels. I dedicated a full one shot to Pluto instead. FFnet is not playing nicely with the imaginary e-mail addresses in this story. A fully formatted copy of the story can be found on my website.
WAY TO GO, SCIENCE GIRL
The standard number two pencil danced in front of focused brown eyes crinkled at the corners. The faster Cassandra Fraiser moved her hand, the more the wooden stick seemed to bend like rubber. A stifled laugh from behind drew her attention away from the optical illusion, and Cassie peered over her shoulder to see a portly librarian with a walrus mustache and round owl glasses watching her.
She flushed and turned back to the stack of neglected books scattered across the L-shaped desk of her library study carrel. The assignment on ei incumbit probatio qui dicit had been forgotten in the buzz of tedium that surrounded every student in the library on a Sunday night. With the city lit up outside the windows and good television on cable, focus did not come easy to the students at the University of Chicago Law School.
Cassie shook the mouse and brought her computer back to life. The Word document on the screen seemed to laugh at her. It boasted the title The Origins of Presumption of Innocence and a measly start to what was shaping up to be a terrific failure of an essay. She considered the mostly white screen for a moment before opening an Internet browser.
Ignoring the library home page, she went in search of anything to distract her from the agony of beginning her first assignment in law school. As she clicked through news sites, a headline rotator caught her eye with an image of astral photography. Cassie clicked the link and began to read: Pluto Is No Longer a Planet.
As she read, she felt a sense of sadness creeping over her. Pluto had been her favorite planet when she was in school. According to her teachers, it was far away and not very interesting. To Cassie, however, Pluto would always remain a thing of fascination. The Tau'ri had looked as far into vast space as possible and found Pluto, and it was the closest they had ever come to discovering Hanka until SG-7 came through the Stargate.
She closed the browser window and returned to her nearly empty Word document with a small sigh. The essay was not going to write itself. She managed to type a few sentences before her fingers stopped of their own volition.
With three clicks, Cassie opened a fresh e-mail and began typing furiously.
DATE: August 24, 2006
TO: Carter, Samantha
FROM: Fraiser, Cassandra
SUBJECT: Way to go, science girl
Dear Sam,
This is not a social e-mail. I mean business here. I'm writing to object to the despicable acts of the "scientific" astrophysics community regarding the heinous treatment of the planet Pluto. I submit my argument to you.
If Pluto is not a planet anymore then how will children all over the world learn the order of planets in our solar system? As it is now, children learn the mnemonic device: My Very Entertaining Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas. "My Very Entertaining Mother Just Served Us Nine" doesn't make any sense without the "Pizzas" at the end.
Furthermore, children all over the world have come to love and adore Pluto. I recall a memory from my own school days. When asked what one place we would most like to visit, a fellow classmate stood up at her desk and said with absolute confidence: "Pluto!"
I, therefore, respectfully request you use your connections and clout in the astronomy community to reverse this shocking decision.
Sincerely,
Cassie
With the e-mail sent, Cassie returned to her essay on presumption of innocence. Venting about Pluto had relieved her of boredom, and her brain worked furiously through the notes she had taken in class and the extra reading she had done in the library. In half an hour, she had two full pages and enough steam to keep writing through the night.
A bubble popped up in the lower right corner of the computer screen and announced Cassie had an e-mail. Clicking it open, she read:
DATE: August 24, 2006
TO: Fraiser, Cassandra
FROM: Carter, Samantha
SUBJECT: RE: Way to go, science girl
Dear Cassie,
I'm sorry, Cassie, but I side with the scientists who say that Pluto isn't a planet. It meets two of the three qualifications of the International Astronomical Unit, but not the third. Yes, it orbits the Sun and has hydrostatic equilibrium, but it has not cleared it neighborhood. I agree with this definition. And what's more, every advanced alien civilization known to us has agreed too.
I'm sure children all over the world will still use a mnemonic to learn the order of planets. How about this one: My Very Entertaining Mother Just Served Us Nachos? And as for the student in your class who wanted to go to Pluto … Can I have a name? We're always looking to recruit enthusiastic young people into the Stargate program.
Love,
Sam
Cassie frowned deeply at the computer screen, thinking about how easily her arguments had been brushed aside. She ignored that that didn't bode particularly well for a future lawyer. Opening a reply, she typed:
DATE: August 24, 2006
TO: Carter, Samantha
FROM: Fraiser, Cassandra
SUBJECT: RE: RE: Way to go, science girl
Sam,
I'm going to have a t-shirt made that says: I Support Pluto! Then I'm going to wear it every time I'm around you, even if I spend all Spring Break at your house and never get a chance to wash it.
Love,
Cassie
Within seconds a reply appeared in Cassie's Inbox.
DATE: August 24, 2006
TO: Fraiser, Cassandra
FROM: Carter, Samantha
SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: Way to go, science girl
Cassie,
How mature.
Love,
Sam
Scowling, Cassie minimized her inbox and went back to typing her essay. She felt in a much less buoyant mood now, however, and the words didn't flow from brain to fingers like they had just a few minutes ago. She was about to give up and go back to her apartment for the night when another e-mail bubble appeared.
DATE: August 24, 2006
TO: Fraiser, Cassandra ; Carter, Samantha
FROM: O'Neill, Jonathan
SUBJECT: RE: FWD: RE: RE: RE: Way to go, science girl
- Original Message Begins -
If Pluto is not a planet anymore than how will children all over the world learn the order of planets in our solar system? As it is now, children learn the mnemonic device: My Very Entertaining Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas. "My Very Entertaining Mother Just Served Us Nine" doesn't make any sense without the "Pizzas" at the end.
- Original Message Ends -
That's what I said!
— Jack