"I need you, Nick." Her words rush through him, making his heart beat double time and leaving him breathless. She needs him. He doesn't care that her reasoning is so ridiculous, that she's probably worrying about nothing.. her boyfriend isn't the one she's calling. It's him. All thoughts of getting action from the hot girl who might have some serious mental issues run from his head because Jess needs him. And there is nothing to stop him from getting home to her.
...
She hugs him. And they've hugged before, of course they have. But they've always been a little awkward and a little weird and usually unwanted because every time her body is on his it's always been a little bit impossible to keep his thoughts platonic. He's a guy, and she's hot. She says the stupidest things and drives him up the wall sometimes, but she's definitely hot.
This time, however, it's different. She's hugging him because she's scared. She's hugging him because he came for her (even though he can't think of a time that he hasn't). And he's hugging her back. He's still got one arm trapped between him and the hot girl from the bar (Holly, her name is Holly and he needs to not forget that) but the arm that's free seems to be doing it's own thing and is now wrapped a little bit around Jess. That's what makes it really odd. Usually he's had to force himself to hug her back if needs be, but this was instinctive.
And yet he lets himself enjoy it for a few seconds.
...
His heart skips a beat when he sees the melon. The melon with his face on, which anyone else doing would've been weird. But with her... it's just another reminder of how close they are. How she, though she would never admit it because that would be being mean, prefers him to everyone else and wants his company more.
But of course it's a little creepy, and he holds onto that thought along with the idea that he might actually be having sex tonight, bringing his mind to where it should be. Sex. But not with Jess. With Holly.
Jess isn't going to be his cooler this time. He refuses to let that happen. (Somehow he knows that Jess's plan is going to fail but he hopes he can spin it around before it's irreparable).
...
Strip True American? That's what her brain comes up with? He feels a little bit of dread for the evening ahead, and yet still decides to make the most of it. He's getting laid tonight.
And Jess is really trying, especially when the newbies never quite understand what's going on and the jacket comes off. But then they catch on and everybody else starts to lose clothing too. Eyes away from her chest, Nick. Eyes away from her chest. He repeats it like a mantra in his head, which is probably when he starts to mess up.
...
She didn't know. Of course she didn't know. She's like a puppy, easily distracted. And having Nick besides her yelling out two... well, of course she's going to put two fingers to her forehead.
Fuck.
So he rebels and he shouts and he tries desperately to get out of this, because God knows that he has definitely got a lady doth protest too much thing going on here. And he acts annoyed at her - partly because he is annoyed. He could've got laid and she ruined that.
The mantra gets more and more difficult to repeat. Because he really likes that bra of hers. It might be his favourite bra of hers. Not that he looks at her bras. Because that would be wrong. Because she has a boyfriend.
And he definitely does not have feelings for her. At least that's what he's struggling to remind himself of.
...
There were so many times that evening when the kiss could've happened, when he could've kidded himself that she wasn't just doing it because everyone else was telling them to.
He loses his chance to get laid the moment Schmidt starts to think of Cece. Schmidt is getting sex and he's getting a girl forced to kiss him by her own stupid rules. The Universe is definitely conspiring against him.
"It's not a big deal." Except it is. His hands are on her arms and his lips are instinctively wettened. He's trying not to let it get to him but it does. He's imagined this, of course he has. He's seen her kiss other people and he wonders how it would feel. How it would feel to have her arms around his waist, pulling him in closer until he can't tell where she ends and he begins. He's dreamt about it but now it's an actual possibility.
"Let's just do it." Those are words that are going to swimming around his head for the next 24 hours at least. Each repeat results in him wanting to do it properly, but he doesn't get a choice in that.
He doesn't want to do anything she doesn't like. There's a tiny possessive part of himself that wants to be so good at kissing that she dumps her Doctor boyfriend right away. And that's a lot of pressure. He tries to do it once, but apparently something was wrong with his face. The second time, it's his teeth. He can't even bring himself to try a third.
...
That's a second. Winston is getting some, Schmidt is getting some... and he's stuck in this room with Jess. Jess who is now half complimenting him, and he can't help but grin at that. It's the same kind of feeling that he got when she told him that she had thought about them getting together. And he doesn't think twice about putting his hand on her knee, and he can't bring himself to remove it even though it changes the atmosphere in their jail.
...
Sam is yelling along with them now? How is that normal? He panics. He chickens out. He didn't want their first kiss (because he refused to accept that it would only happen once) to have a soundtrack of their friends (and even her boyfriend) yelling "KISS" at them through the door.
Her saying "God, Miller! Just kiss me!" only makes his brain fry more. And as he panicked, his brain doesn't think about the things that are coming out of his mouth. Because his mouth is now saying "not like this!" which is what his subconscious has been telling him every single time they came close to kissing.
And she's smirking at him, because she's not clueless. And he can tell himself that he doesn't have actually feelings for her. He can deny it until the cows come home, but apparently it's been more than obvious to her. It just makes it worse and he's bumbling and he can't even form coherent sentences.
So he just gives up. He can't do this.
It's not how it should be.
Not at all.
...
It's been obvious to the guys as well, it would seem. They've known him way longer than Jess has, and there's no possible outcome for this other than them forcing him to talk about it. Schmidt might be acting like it was some kind of suicide mission, but Winston would get him there and it would change the dynamic of their flat completely.
He's going to have to move out or something. Not because of his feelings for Jess (that he's still desperately trying to deny), but because everyone else is getting action and he isn't.
The moment that she walks out, Sam's arm around her, the stab of jealousy is so potent that he can hardly breathe. And in that moment, he knows he can't deny it anymore. He can't deny his feelings for this girl - feelings he's probably always had, but kept buried deep. Feelings that kept trying to resurface every single week, no matter what was going on in their lives. But he pushed them away because it was perfectly acceptable to be attracted to your best friend. It was normal to want to have sex with your flatmate. What wasn't acceptable was being in love with her.
Jess is just looking at him, and he can't read her expression. He can't understand it at all and it hurts. This all just hurts. And him letting out that breath? It's him trying to let go of the hurt, too.
...
Both him and her boyfriend were sleeping. Her boyfriend was in the same bed as her, and yet she turned to him first? Even though he loves his sleep, he loves- likes her more.
So he says goodbye to the trench coat and all the things from the past 18 hours since it came into his life. He tries to say goodbye to the almost kiss, but then he realises he doesn't want to. And he realises that because it's 5 am and because he'd drunk the night before... he can kinda excuse it. Trenchcoat Nick had guts, but who says that normal Nick couldn't too?
When she turns to leave, he just does it. He doesn't think and he doesn't let himself talk himself out of it. He just grabs her arm and he just kisses her.
...