He stared into the darkness, not able to sleep. He would wake up in a cold sweat when he did manage to catch a few winks. The memories of that day kept playing over and over in his mind. His life had changed in an instant that day. He had no idea how to pick up the pieces and move on—or if he even wanted to move on. It would be easier to just end the pain and agony now. But he knew that would upset her, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.
….
Two weeks earlier:
Amy was riding Dexter as he came around the last turn headed for the finish line in hot pursuit of Janice and Trick Tornado. They were neck and neck at the 3/4 pole when she heard the sound, felt him stumble, and knew he was going down. There was nothing she could do but hold on and hope Dexter didn't come down on top of her.
Ty watched in horror as Dexter's leg snapped and he stumbled forward, going head over heels to the turf, taking his rider with him. Amy!
A hush came over the crowd as the horse lay motionless on the ground. The only visible signs of the rider were her two legs and the helmet that lay on the ground a few feet from the horse.
From that point on, everything played out in slow motion. Ty remembered running down the steps that led to the track only to be stopped at the gate by a track official. Tim came up behind him and flashed his track credentials, so the official opened the gate. Both of them sprinted toward the fallen horse and rider. He remembered the agonizing minutes it took them to get her out from under the dead animal. The paramedic's words echoed in his ears: "She has no pulse!"
There was one thing he couldn't forget even if he wanted to: the image of her body being covered with a white sheet and being put into the ambulance. He didn't remember much else. His heart had stopped at that moment, not able to comprehend what had happened.
…..
"Hey, earth to Ty." The sound of her voice and the touch of her hand startled him, causing him to jump. A look of confusion crossed his face.
She leaned down to brush her lips across his. "You okay?" she asked.
The smell of her skin and the softness of her lips brought him out of the nightmare. His arms instinctively wrapping around her waist, and he carefully pulled her in close. He sighed. "I'm fine. The question is, how are you feeling?"
"I'm still a little sore, but don't worry. I'm fine, Ty." She was telling the truth; he could see it in her eyes.
"I will always worry about you, Amy."
"Where were you just now? You looked like you saw a ghost," she said.
Being careful not to squeeze too tight, he hugged her. "It doesn't matter; all that's important is that you're here with me."
Smiling at him, she tilted her head, giving him that look she would use when she knew he was holding something back. Her eyes searched his to find the answers.
He turned away, not wanting her to see into his soul like he knew she could. He didn't know how to explain the recurring night mare. She was alive; he could see her and feel her. But then he stopped. Could he see her? Was she really there with him, or was he still dreaming? If he was, he didn't want to wake up, ever. He couldn't go on without her.