Part 1: As prescribed by canon, in which Sheik is just Zelda in a disguise and Link is totally her hero in a heteronormative situation that everyone is probably sick of already.
The restaurant is colorful like a throw rug and lit by wide windows facing casual residential traffic. There is an outdoor space, largely occupied by customers during the afternoon rush, and the indoors is marked by sparse couples eating pleasantly at two-top tables and booths. Indoors, behind a large hostess table housing several hidden shelves and a cash register are a Gerudo and a Twili of about college age, both of whom are secretly playing hangman with the marker and receipt paper during their shift. A couple walks up to them, and the Gerudo seats them.
"What's with the face?" Nabooru pokes Midna's nose on her way back to the table.
"You know the movie star Zelda Harkinian?"
"Sure," the Gerudo says, marking the two-top with a marker and signalling to a lounging server that he has a table.
"Did you get a good look at the Sheikah who you just sat?" Midna is smirking like she knows a big secret. Nabooru shrugs. "You idiot!" Midna's eyes roll. "Don't you get it? That was totally her."
Nabooru leans forwards, peering at the two top. The couple, an eclectically dressed Sheikah woman and an average looking Hylian man, are talking quietly over the menu. Her red eyebrows skyrocket when she sees the Sheikah glance around nervously, as if expecting paparazzi to come spilling from the woodwork at any second. "No way!"
"Way. I'm guessing that's Link, her new boy toy." Midna grins evilly, "Block me, I've got an idea."
Nabooru steps in front of Midna while the Twili fiddles with her phone. "What are you scheming?"
"Oh, nothing…heh heh heh."
"Heh heh heh? That doesn't sound good."
"You know how the Sheikah were once a dying race?" Midna says, casually slipping her phone back into a drawer beneath the table. Nabooru rolls her eyes.
"What have you done?"
"Well, if she didn't want attention, she should have used a different cover!"
"Just to be clear: When the police inevitably come, I don't know you."
"Glance behind you again, you might pull something." Link leans back in his chair, grinning. His girlfriend, although seated, remains wound up tighter than a whirligig. "Just breathe, Zel. No one's going to jump out at you this time."
"You can't ever be sure," Zelda reprimands with a cutting glare, "And call me Sheik! I don't think I can take another ambush." She sighs and takes a sip of ice water. "No, you're right. I must be calm. We are here to enjoy ourselves."
They chat idly for awhile about the new shoot. The server comes by and takes their order. Link has a grilled fish sandwhich. She gets a Greek salad. They split fries and both take a round of drinks.
He takes her hands, which are a little clammy. "If going out makes you this nervous we could have eaten in. Your place has a movie theater and a stockpile of gourmet delicacies to choose from. And of all places to eat?"
"Don't tell me you're complaining," she says, jarringly.
He puts his hand up, "No, not at all."
"I suppose it's part of the cover. Like you said, of all the places I could have gone to eat, some shabby second rate tourist hub like this would be the last anyone would expect me to come to." She realizes her fingers are drumming the table and stops them.
"It's sort of ironic how it is. The only time you can be free is when you're acting," Link notes, and adds, "I hope you don't have to feel the need to act when we're together though. Even if you're wearing all that, color changing contacts and all, I want you to know that I care for you. The real you."
She smiles by way of thanks, and he nods, face reflecting an understanding for which she is utmost grateful. How he can understand her despite the chaos brewing every moment of her life, and be so simple about it, was a mystery to her, but one she wouldn't mind stepping further into for, at the very least, the security of having him by her side. "I miss this. I'm more introverted than people think. I don't like being the center of attention."
"I think you got into the wrong business."
"I think so too, but for now it makes my father happy, and that's what matters right now."
She sets her features, and she knows he knows it's a mask. He doesn't say anything though, and just holds her hand. Like this is a normal thing. Like they're a normal thing. She lets out a breathy laugh.
"I know," she says, "I should tell him I want to quit."
"You could probably wait until after this movie. I need to look for a new job anyways."
She glances up into his sparkling eyes. She's mildly startled, but she has to look carefully to make sure that what he's saying isn't just her imagination. "Are you asking me to elope with you?"
They laugh, because this is a funny thing, isn't it? He shrugs. She takes a sip of water. When had it become so hot in here? And why are her cheeks flushed, and why does there seem to be tears in her eyes?
"Fairy wings," she mutters, wiping her eyes, "The contacts are coming out."
Link watches her blink with her head tilted back, admiring the grace of her neck. "With them in you look like Jade."
She shakes her head at the mentioning of her nemesis. "Say that name again, I dare you." She kicks his shin under the table. Lightly, of course, but her point is clear.
He grins brilliantly, "I knew that'd get an arise out of you."
She realizes she's gone actress mode on him again and laughs. "This is fun."
Their waiter comes back with their food. He does a double take when he sets down the salad in front of Zelda, and she feels the blood roar in her ears as she prays to every god under the sun and then some that she is unrecognizable.
"Oh gods! Oh, my, holy trinity of goddesses!"
Zelda's countenance hardens, and Link looks like he's ready to take to his feet and start beating back fans with his fists. Her hands start trembling again and she hides them beneath the table, waiting for the inevitable to come.
"You look, like, just like this one actress. Now what's her name again?" The waiter shifts his weight, thinking. "Nah, here!" He whips out his phone and begins scrolling through it frantically.
Zelda has always hated being in front of people and being the center of attention. Unfortunately, she was always very good at it despite wanting to curl up into a ball and disappear into nothingness. She straightens her spine, and puts on a blank face to mask her horror.
"Oh! Here she is! She goes by the name Empress Jade these days." A picture of her archenemy is shoved in front of her, and Zelda lets out a yelp.
Link recovers quickly, "That's right! I've always told her that. See, hon, you're beautiful." He shoos the waiter away, "Thank you!"
An explosion of laughter fills the air, and several other tables look over their shoulders to see the crazy looking couple howling with laughter. Link is pounding the table and Zelda is holding onto her sides, nearly sobbing into her salad.
After partaking in the fries, salad, and grouper, and thoroughly enjoying the buzz of alcohol, the couple is relaxed. Link relishes seeing the worry lines ease from Zelda's forehead, and Zelda's face flushes comfortably at catching him staring at her.
"Not so bad, was it?" she admits as he beckons the waiter for the check. "Dare I say it, I had fun."
"So did I. Next time you might want to don a different disguise."
"I'll consider it," she smiles a smile that lights up her features, "Next time."
"Would you consider -"
"ZELDA HARKINIAN DRESSED SPOTTILY AS A SHEIKAH WITH HER NEW BOYTOY LINK EATING AT A SECOND RATE TOURIST HUB!"
Like water, fans, news anchors and curious bystanders alike flood into the restroom. The room flashes like a nightclub, and someone goes into an epileptic seizure in the corner. Not that anyone is paying attention.
"-ZELDA, ARE YOU AWARE THAT THE COSTUME YOU ARE WEARING IS NEARLY TWO-HUNDRED YEARS OLD AND REFLECTS A TIMEPERIOD OF SUFFERING FOR THE SHEIKAH CLAN?"
"-LINK, WHAT IS LIKE BEING INVOLVED WITH A WOMAN NEARLY TEN YEARS OLDER THAN -"
"-DO YOU THINK HE'S 'THE ONE?!'"
"DO YOU EXPECT ANY NEGATIVE WHIPLASH GIVEN THE POLITICALLY INAPPROPRIATE COSTUME YOU'RE WEAR-"
"-HOW FAR INTO IT ARE THE TWO OF YOU-"
"ARE YOU ENJOYING-"
Link pushes back sweaty bodies, booms, and microphones, thrusting his weight against the crowd in an attempt to make it around the table. He stumbles over a wayward leg and falls into the bust of a news anchor, but his resolve never wavers for a moment. He finds his love's eyes through the midst of flashing photography, and she looks like a rabbit staring down the tracks at an oncoming train.
Feeling the Hylian blood of heroes pulsating through his veins, he feels a strength fill his muscles and spread like fire. It starts with a pull, an almost painful wrenching feeling, starting in his chest as his desperation mounts. He lets the drive and the tangible high pool deep into his stomach. Breathing deeply, he finds a strength he never knew he possessed and pushes onwards like a stalwart warrior. What are these people? They are nothing! He surges forwards, brutally kicking someone, and wraps his arms around Zelda.
Lifting her above the crowd in his arms, he breaks free of the rings upon rings of throngs mixed with flashing lights and odd electronics. The feeling of her face buried into his neck hardens his resolve, and he resets his grip beneath her. In a display that could be described as nothing short of heroic and oddly fitting, he dashes out of the restaurant and into the liberating air.
Lights of the blue and red variety flash outside of the restaurant. A man is loaded onto a stretcher and placed into an open ambulance - something about a seizure. No one was paying close enough attention to be sure.
"What did you do?" Nabooru demands, sitting on a stool in the kitchens beside Midna.
"Social media is a powerful instrument," Midna declares, waving her phone. "What?" she asks in response to the Gerudo's rather severe expression.
"You're shameless!"
Midna huffs, "Where did the fun and reckless Nabooru go?"
"She left, after getting her ass thrown in jail. How the two delinquents got assigned hostess together is beyond me. I'd be surprised if we didn't lose our jobs if someone finds out."
"Live a little. No one is going to find out unless you rat on me."
"I really should."
"But you won't."
"But I won't."