I do not own any of the Harry Potter stories or characters. It all belongs to the wonderful Mrs. J.K. Rowling. :)
Looking back on my past was hard, considering I was married with a baby boy on the way. I remembered my best friend or well used to be best friend. I missed him, I missed him so much. I finally drove him away. And it was my entire fault. He had every right to call me a mud-blood. I was only making the matters worse for him. Stupid James and Sirius, if they hadn't tortured him maybe we could have still been friends.
But I saw the way he changed too. He became different, darker then moved more and more into the dark arts. He changed a lot, he wasn't that "slimy git" that James had continuously called him. He was handsomer and he was mine until I lost him.
Severus Snape was my first love, my first true love. But I didn't tell him that or anyone, not even my closest friend really. She had her own inkling that I liked him but I wouldn't talk about it.
But here I sat, 7 months pregnant, thinking long and hard about my past. I undoubtedly loved James and wasn't about to leave him ever. But I loved Severus at one point, and that was years and years ago. Or well so it seemed. Luckily today, James had a long day at work, so I could take out my pensieve and return to look back exactly on the past and what happened between Sev and I.
Pulling out my pensieve I was afraid of looking back, but I had to do it. I had to see what my errors were and hopefully I could find out what I did and fix it. Sev might not forgive me but I had to at least try for old time sakes.
I was pulled under, into the abyss of my memories; they were good ones for the most part. I was first pulled to the day Sev and I met.
"Lilly, don't go so high! You're gonna get hurt!" Petunia's voice called out to me. Though I didn't pay her any heed. I didn't care. I loved the feeling like I was flying. I could soar through the air, and it was so much fun.
"Tuney watch me! Watch me soar through the air!" And with that I jumped off the swing and flew through the air. It was amazing; I loved feeling the wind blowing through my hair and it billowing around me and all. It was the best feeling in the world.
The next thing I knew I was back on the ground and laughing. It was the best experience in the world. And then the next thing Tuney was flying through the air as well. I loved watching her, she was just as happy. If she was happy then I was happy.
I watched Tuney turn around and point at the bushes as if someone was there. I looked and saw a pair of black beady eyes staring straight at us. It was kind of creepy.
"Who are you?" I called out to the person.
A boy who seemed to be about our age stepped out of the bushes, he looked like he was the Snape boy.
Tuney screamed at him, "You were watching us that whole time. Creep! You're that Snape boy who wears too big of clothes that don't fit him. And you have a father that is wretched. You're just a plain creep, for watching us. Come Lil, we don't need this kid with us, he's not like us." Tuney dragged me away, and I waved back to the poor boy.
I wondered why she pulled me away, he just seemed like he wanted friends. But Tuney usually knew what was best for us. Tuney and I were twins, not identical though. She had long brown hair and brown eyes, while I had fiery red hair, and bright green eyes and slight freckles across my nose. Though our facial features were similar we had the almond shaped eyes, small noises and small ears. She was more cross looking than I was and she also had that mean look about her. Where as I had the cuter features and not crossing looking. People adored me. Tuney looked like our mother more than I did, but had our father's hair color. Where I looked exactly like our father but with mom's hair though, it was a quite interesting look for our family.
Our birthday was at the end of the week too. We were both turning 11 on Saturday. Daddy had this big event planned. Our family from everywhere was coming in to see us. It was to be a big party. Though Tuney and I hadn't really made any friends in school, we still had our cousins and our friends from our parents' friends. Which they were all invited. Tuney and I were excited beyond belief.
The next day was Thursday and we were back at the park that morning again. I saw the Snape boy coming towards us and I decided that no matter what Tuney said I would be his friend.
Tuney had decided to run home to use the bathroom and grab a snack for us. I walked up to the boy when she had left.
"Hi, I'm Lily." I said sticking out my hand and introducing myself.
"Hullo, I'm Severus." He replied shaking my hand back.
I studied him closely; he seemed to be a skinny boy, in clothes that were way to big for him. He looked slightly frail. He had big brown eyes and dark ebony hair and he was about my age.
It was awkward then because we both seemed unsure of what to do next. So I did what I could do best. I talked about what ever I could think of. So I asked about him in general.
"So. . . Severus what do you like to do?" I asked slightly nervous
.
He looked at me with wide eyes and a grin on his face.
"I like to sit and think about things and to read. I love reading." He gushed out the last part like it was his passion. And that's where I smiled. Reading was a big part of my life; Tuney hated it when I read but I loved it.
"Wow really? I love reading too, I love being taken away to that magical land as if it's actually happening and you're the main character or someone in the novel." I was excited now, I finally had a friend who seemed to like reading like I did, I hoped at least.
"I know what you mean!" Severus was happy as well. He had a big smile on his face.
I pulled myself out of the memory. That was a happier day, a happier memory. One where it didn't matter who we were or anything else. We were best friends after that.
I went and found another memory. A not so happy one, it was the worst, the one where we stopped being friends.
"Put me down!" A voice yelled across the black lake. It was a boy's voice, and I went running to him.
I should have known it would be James and Sirius at it again. They were picking Sev up by his ankles and hoisting him into the air.
They were always being horrible to him. Don't understand why they would pick on him. I guess it's probably one of the reasons why I never wanted to date James. He thought he was the best, the number one. A lot of the teachers liked and hated him at the same time. He could be a horrid bastard or he could the world's nicest person/ But I didn't fall for it. Sev is my best friend.
"Sev!" I screamed.
James turned and looked at me.
"Oh well if it isn't the great head of house herself. What brings you here?" James sneered at me.
"Put him down now, James." I threatened drawing my own wand up at him.
"Ooohhh goody two shoes over here is threatening you James." Sirius taunted.
I pointed my wand at Sirius and used a silencing and freezing charm on him. The look on his face was funny as he realized what I did.
"Shut up Sirius." I laughed.
James turned around and looked at his best friend. He was astonished at me.
"Now put Sev down!" I yelled at James.
"How about I have a little fun first," James suggested.
James lifted Sev upside down into the air, to show everyone that he didn't have any knickers on.
Sev looked at me in horror and anger. I haven't seen him so angry, or angry like this either. He looked like he was going to murder someone.
"James put him down!" This time when James listened to me he put Sev down, but he made sure he fell into the Black Lake first.
I went rushing to Sev.
"Sev are you okay?" I asked him as soon as I got to him.
"Shut up, Evans, I don't need a mudblood like you to help me." He sneered at me.
I looked at him with hurt eyes and then I ran. I just ran. And I hid in my dormitory with my curtains closed. I wasn't about to let anyone know I was crying.
I pulled out of the memory with tears rolling down my face. It was my entire fault that we weren't friends anymore. All my fault and I had to live with that. I remembered he tried to apologize to me later in the Great Hall but I shoved him off. I wasn't about to be friends with him after that. No way in hell.
I wished I could name him godfather to my child. I wished we were still the best of friends. But after that I had become friends with Remus Lupin after that. He became my best after that. And then James and I had that argument on who would be godfather, Remus or Sirius. Needless to say Sirius won.
This was the last thing on Lily's mind about Severus and their friendship. This was the last time she thought about him. She decided to rid herself of him but she saved the memories and sent them to Albus. But no more from that day would Lily want to think about him. He wasn't the same person after that horrible day. And she would forget about him in her own time.