Disclaimer: I don't own X-men. The reason I'm writing this fic is for fun and my fandom of the X-men. Right now, Marvel continuity sucks and one of my favorite characters remain in limbo without a chance at coming back.
A/N: This is my first X-men fic.
Interview With The X-Decreased
The audience are cheering at the studio prepare for the talk show featuring dead Generation X characters, among them are Synch, Banshee, and Skin. Also, Sabretooth, Jean Grey, and Moira MacTaggert are there for references.
"Moira, you too?!" Banshee glanced at his long time lover.
"Of course, I was dead for shock value. Even thought playing the part to bring the cure for the Legacy Virus," Moira glared at Banshee.
"Hey Jubitica, did you see that idiota Chuck Austen?! I want to tear that amigo apart for spelling my name wrong!" Skin angrily shouted.
"The Muramasa Blade is a fluke. House of M just ruined everything about mine and Logan's origins," Sabretooth said.
"Scott, I heard you're starting to make babies for Emma," Jean stared at her ex husband.
Suddenly, the host walks into the stage. He bowed to the audiences and present the guests. Only Synch is the one not saying anything as he stare at Joe Quesada and the writers responsible for his death, Warren Ellis and Brian Wood.
"Welcome ladies and gentlemen, I'm SilentNinja, your host, and here we bring you six dead X-men characters that are too good to be taken out of continuity. Well, the current Marvel continuity no longer gives a damn about X-men," SilentNinja gets interrupted by a shout at the audience.
"There are too many mutants!" Joe Quesada scoffed.
"Compare to the super human community, Mr Quesada? Explain us Marvel Super Heroes for that crap called Civil War and my 'death'" Steve Rogers, the former Captain America glared at the Editor in Chief.
"I was dead in the beginning of the story along with Namorita and a few others," Dwayne Taylor, the original Night Thrasher added.
"Whatever…dead stays dead," Joe Quesada sighed.
The audience booed at the Marvel Editor in Chief.
"I'll never forget the humiliation of my characterization and now I'm working for the New Warriors. Angelo, Chuck Austen is right here!" Jubilee grabbed the man responsible for Skin's death.
"P….please…I'm doing this to make a great story!" Chuck Austin begged.
"Stupido, you shouldn't even spell my name wrong!" Skin said. He gets off the chair, but Synch stops him shaking his head horizontal.
"Victor, the dogs loved your meat they ate bub," Wolverine snickered.
"You think that's funny, Logan?! You're now everywhere in the comics and people are starting to get sick of you! I could have killed you have that so called Muramasa Blade didn't exist in story canon!" Sabretooth snarled.
"Geez, so much had ruined our favorite X-men characters by the tyranny of Joe Quesada and his editorial politicians. He even sends tha writer Ed Brubaker da kill me off…" Banshee sighed.
"Father…" Siryn looked at her father sadly. He'll never get to see her baby soon in continuity.
"So we have seven years of Quesada with a run in of bad stories and a few good ones, especially from Morrison's era. Why don't we start with Skin? Skin, why should they not kill you off?" SilentNinja asked.
"Because I'm important to Jubilica! I don't care about X-men, but she's the one who kept me around the books," Skin urged.
"I didn't know and it's not my fault! Mr. Quesada liked the idea!" Chuck Austen defended himself.
"You're just a crappy character to me and a good pick to die," Joe Quesada said. He puts thumbs down on Skin's designs.
"Bastardo!!" Skin hissed.
"Angelo, just ignore him. He's an Iron Traitor, I mean Iron Man fanboy," Synch said.
"Hmph…he never reads Generation X…" Skin muttered.
Jubilee drops Chuck Austen and sat next to Winddancer. Her scary eyes panicked the writer to move far away from the depowered mutant.
"Ok, next up is Banshee. You got run over by an airplane after the introduction of that Gary Sue villain name Vulcan in one of the deadliest of retcons, Deadly Genesis," SilentNinja said.
"Ahh, dun wanna talk about it…." Banshee groaned. He had no reason to get killed off anyway.
"Sorry, it's part of Mr. Quesada's editorial mandate…hehe. So what do you think of Vulcan?" Ed Brubaker nervously spoke at the audience.
"You've just created a new character and made him popular so fast and now he ruled Shi'ar," Synch shrugged.
"Booo!!" the audience jeered.
"And people keep calling Ev a Gary Sue. He's supposed to be a part of my evolvement and ya killed him off you dweebs! Now look what they done to my character. Sofia and the other depowered mutants too," Jubilee glared at the Marvel Editors. She's been through a lot of degrading over the years till they made her become a wannabe Wonder Woman with a paranoid attitude.
"Young lady, you and your New Warriors should stop violating the Super Human Registration Act," Iron Man said.
"Why the hell do you have to force other people into government thugs with the Initiative?" Jubilee shot back.
"It's required for proper training, Stanford incident proves this," Iron Traitor said.
"That's all bull coming from Bendis idea with Quesada calling the shots!" Jubilee scowled.
"Super Human Registration Act? How long have I been dead?" Synch asked.
"Seven years, Everett," SilentNinja answered.
"Seven!? And all the super heroes were fighting each other over such an irrational edict? Isn't that unconstitutional?" Synch glanced at Jubilee where Jubes gave a sadden nod.
"It's the law, you don't have a choice," Iron Man said.
"Tony, everybody has a choice! This is a free country and its comics!" Steve Rogers urged at his traitorous old friend.
"Either you embrace change, or stay dead, Captain Annoyance," Joe Quesada warned.
"I can't be dead. Captain America is one and only, Steve Rogers," Steven boldly stated.
"Sorry, Cap. But, it's time Captain America use a gun and kills," Winter Soldier said. He was the former Bucky Barnes.
"Do people even want to read a Captain America who kills? Isn't Joe Quesada the same guy who co created Azrael and made him Batman?" Synch asked.
"Yes!" everyone unison.
"Incredible…." Synch sighed.
"Ok, now it's Moira's turn. Why were you killed off?" SilentNinja asked.
"Simple, Women in Refrigerators. That indicates the writers have no way to advance me into the continuity after I worked the cure and then get killed by Raven," Moira crossed her arms putting a grin on Jean.
"Oh please….." The Marvel writers shook their heads.
"Scott about those remarks at Emma on Uncanny X-men 501…." Jean said.
"Jean, believe me, they made me and Emma becoming lovers! It's that entire Morrison Era fault and Ed Brubaker is a fan of me who likes me with Emma!" Cyclops defended his disrespectful actions with Emma for dumping Jean.
"So Jean, your death is the same reason as Moira, correct?" SilentNinja twitch his eyebrow looking at Jean.
"That's not all, Marvel can kiss my ass since I wasn't really dead after Dark Phoenix saga, but thanks to those idiots for bringing me back twice after that horrible Planet X story arc," Jean said as she pointed her fingers at the Marvel editors both former and the current. They used her as a tool of bringing back the dead in a twisted way.
"Planet X is a disgrace and insult to my characterization! Was marvel trying to make themselves fools of that nonsense!? Killing innocent people for no reason?" Magus squeezed his fist and glare at the Marvel Editors.
"Don't forget what they did to Wanda, father," Pietro whispered.
"I know that, my son!" Magus said.
"You're depowered now bub. Loved that way," Logan snickered.
"You're one to talk of being useless, Logan!" Magus and Logan exchange looks. They will never get along.
"Logan, stop. We don't want to turn this into a fight. There are people here and depowered mutants," Ororo dragged her true love away from the no depowered anti hero.
"Stupid Mutants…." Hulk sighed. He also had it worse with Marvel after Hercules took his title.
"Hey, at least you didn't get your marriage ret conned like what happened to me in One More Day," Spiderman said.
"Oh my god, don't even go with that subject, Peter!" Mary Jane socked her husband in the head.
"Seven years of continuity errors and my death…" Everett muttered.
"I demand a reboot!" Sabertooth pointed at Joe Quesada.
"Si, reboot so we can start over from where we left off before Morrison era," Skin said.
"But, we're making more money with what we're doing. Sorry and we'll not provide a reboot," Joe Quesada grinned.
"Hm, Synch how about telling us of your death. Why did they kill you off?" SilentNinja asked.
Synch thought about how he was treated when Scott Lobdell wrote Generation X and created him and the Larry Hama mess. He was later promote in a high status quo teaming up with Spiderman against Plantman and teaming up with the New Warriors on Jay Faebuer run until Warren Ellis took over the book with Brian Wood.
"Come on, Ev spit it out! Prove those idiots why they ruined my life, cancelled our title and killed off Skin!" Jubilee grew impatient with this whole talk show. She reflect those moments with Synch in the Generation X, they were interacting more than Monet would have done had she not steal Everett from her or had those stupid writers made Everett dump her for Monet.
Monet is sitting next to Jamie, code name Multiply Man. She felt terribly guilty for Everett's death, it was the very first time she show her emotions, her feelings and cried to the very person that made her be more active with others.
"You know, before I died, I thought about being written by the great Chris Claremont, but that never happened and I was written by the hands of Warren Ellis and Brian Wood. Jubes was to Chris Claremont as I am to Scott Lobdell. You know, I was created specify for her, but…" Synch rubbed his chin as the audience focuses their attention on him.
"……" The Marvel creative team listened to the character they killed off.
"You know, in the 90's, rarely there's a black guy who had the personality of a virtuous hero who doesn't look thuggish. Black Panther was the first black Marvel superhero, but he's based on Africa and is rich. He was model after Batman. Falcon, Luke Cage, Blade, they were other qualities of black super heroes, especially Bishop…" Synch nodded.
"So the point to your death is?" SilentNinja questioned.
"How do I say this? That's it, I'm black! Angelo is Hispanic, but I'm black. And what is the main problem? A black guy paired with an Asian gal. Jubilation and Monet aren't suppose to be very friendly and my death only backfires new creative ideas for the X-men books. I'm a totally unique kind of black superhero with a strange mutant power that was mistaken for being…lame. I was supposed to be an Omega level mutant…That was the price of being killed off," Synch sighed.
"I didn't know. I thought he wasn't any different to his creative designs," Warren Ellis said at the audience.
"And you made me write it, Mr Ellis," Brian Wood glared at the plot master.
"Marvel ought to bring me back, but as the man said, 'Dead means Dead' for how long? It doesn't matter, they're going to pair Jubilation with Donyell of the New Warriors," Synch shook his head sad.
"You bore me, kid…I like Luke Cage and T'Challa better. There are too many mutants," Joe Quesada said.
"You're the one who allow Storm and Black Panther get married. But, you won't acknowledge my relationship with Jubilee. And here Luke Cage was with a white woman…" Synch glared at the Marvel Editor in Chief.
"That's it, Marvel sucks! They have no idea how to make black super heroes popular. DC got Green Lantern John Stewart. They don't even know how to spell my name right! Viva DC comics!" Skin leaves the stage. He's through with Marvel's bullcrap.
"I could have bring him into the mansion before Jubilee existed, such a wasted gift," Charles said.
"Frankly Professor, we have Prodigy here who is also black and is a remarkable boy, but wouldn't want to replace Synch," Beast said.
"Indeed, but Synch is the one I'm concerned," Charles nodded.
"Ev…." Jubilee thought.
"Other than getting Jubilee and Monet along, Synch's death was done excellent, but regrettable at the same time," SilentNinja said.
"Excellent? Those pests could have gotten themselves killed and now one of our kind sacrificed his life meaningless!" Magneto urged.
"Erik, still he passed the greatest test of believing my dream," Professor X defended.
"I don't know if anyone even cares about my existence. The first time I found out my mutant powers, I always thought about bringing Mutant and Human kind together. I believe in Charles Xavier," Everett looked at Magneto with determination in his eyes.
"Well what do ya know Chuck, we found another guy to lead the future of X-men," Wolverine grinned.
"Blah! You should join me boy!" Magneto pointed his finger at Synch.
"I don't want to be a badass black guy….unless you want to see an example of synching your Magnetism…." Synch coldly denied.
"You tell em Ev!" Jubilee cheered.
"Donyell, tell all my associates that Mr Thomas will take good care of our foundation. He might take the Night Thrasher mantle if he's depowered," Dwayne said.
"No problem, Dwayne," Donyell gave his brother a low five.
"Synch's death is still pointless Charles!" Magneto couldn't believe his eyes that even a dead character coming back to life that saved humans can denied his offer to join him.
"Even if it's pointless, that's the mark of a fearless leader, the greatest gift that child would earn for his mutant powers. You'll never understand anything, Erik…." Charles shook his head disappointed.
"Seven years of death and I haven't been in any cartoons or games along with Skin…" Everett groaned.
"Stupid Marvel Comics…." Hulk said.
The show ends as Magneto and Professor Xavier continue to argue about Synch's death while Captain American and Iron Man argue about Super Human Registration Act, Jean and Emma calling each other names, Logan and Victor argue about the Muramasa Blade, and Sean proposal Moira to marriage. Synch watches the commotion and Jubilee comes toward him.
"Everett…" Jubilee spoke out.
"Another time, Jubilation…Give it time. I must catch up with Angelo. By the way, you look hot," Synch said.
"Wait, Ev…" Jubilee raised her voice to stop Synch from leaving.
"I know, but just give it time Jubes," Synch left the stage and hurried to catch up with Skin.
The End.