AN: I know, I know I'm so damn sick the thought just cracked me up POOR EDWARD!
Double the pleasure
A year and after everyone and Edward had defeated father, Ling had sent Lan Fan to see what Edward was up to. He wanted Edward to come to visit him because he had some questions for Edward and he really missed the pipsqueak. Well at seventeen Edward wasn't the pipsqueak he'd been back then. He had grown into a FINE looking young man.
Lan Fan walked up the road to the Rockbell house and she spotted Edward sitting on the front porch. He saw her and stood up "Can I help you?"
"The emperor of Xing sent me to find you." she told him.
"LAN FAN is that you?" he asked walking off the steps.
She bowed to him "Yes Edward it is I" she stood up and looked at him "Emperor Ling would like you to come see him."
"Come in and we'll talk" He turned "It's been awhile." Edward noticed the girl had grown up some in the last year. Not to mention she noticed he had too with his long golden hair and his muscular physique. He walked her into the kitchen and introduced her to everyone. Winry was very interested in this girl from the East she was a very pretty girl with her raven black hair in a top knot and she could tell under those baggy clothes the girl had quite the body being a bodyguard for the emperor and all.
Winry and Lan Fan had hit it off well they could talk for hours about nothing in particular. Winry had even loaned her some clothes that brought out the Eastern girls great body. Edward didn't pay to much attention to either one of them because he couldn't keep up with their conversations. Lan Fan explained to Winry what it was like to be a bodyguard for the Emperor. Winry talked to her about automail and she even checked Lan Fans arm for her.
It was about the third night when they decided to take a bottle of Granny's scotch to Winry's room. They had been talking about all kinds of things .They both giggled as they continued to drink when the conversation switched to Edward. They were both in a drunken frenzy and then they both came up with the same idea they wanted Edward and sharing him was no problem at this point.
They snuck out of Winrys room and crept down the hall and opened Edwards door. They walked in and both looked at him then each other. Winry reached up and pulled her ponytail out and let her hair fall free. Lan Fan took her top knot out and let hers fall free as she took her shirt off. Winry giggled and dropped all her clothes to the floor. Both walked up to the edge of the bed and stared at Edward as he laid there on his back with his head to the side. Winry bent down and crawled under the covers at the end of the bed as she crawled up Edwards body Lan Fan began singing the Jaws theme "Duh'duh, duh duh duh"
His eyes flew open and he saw the huge massive thing working it's way up to his face "WHAT THE-"
Winry's head popped out as she put her finger to his lips "Sssssh" she smiled "Just relax."
Lan Fan looked at him "Come on Edward be a sport."
Edward sat there stunned for a minute he had two naked girls standing in his room, well one was on top of him. He didn't know if he should stop it or go with it. Lan Fan pulled his face to hers and pressed her warm lips to his and he was caught up in the moment as he parted his lips and kissed her back. Winry giggled as she leaned down and began kissing his chest. OH MY GOD he thought is this really happening as he continued to kiss Lan Fan.
They took the reins and he didn't know what was happening. Lan Fan jumped on him and the next thing he knew they both rolled off the bed onto the floor.
Al in the next room heard the crash and looked up confused "What the hell was that?"
Winry sat up on her knees on the bed threw her hands in the air "YAY! Dog pile on Edward" then she flung herself on top of Lan Fan and Edward.
Al knocked on the door and opened it "Ed what the hell was that noise?"
Edwards head shot up from the other side of the bed "Uh….hey Al"
"Are you okay?" Al asked looking around the room.
Edward scratched his head and smiled then pointed downward "Yeah, Uh I was just doing some sparing moves and fell over the bed."
Winry giggled and Lan Fan kissed her to shut her up as they both stared bugged eyed at each other.
Al went to shut the door after giving his brother a very disturbed look "All…right" he shut the door and went to walk away when he heard Edward scream in pain as both girls pulled him back to the floor.
Edward was trying to crawl away on the floor when Lan Fan wrapped her legs around his neck and flipped him into Winry. He got a surprised look on his face as he looked up at Winry "Did she just flip me naked?"
Winry smiled "Yes Edward." as she began to run her hands down his chest "You don't know how long I've wanted to do this Ed." Edward struggled to get free as both girls pinned him to the ground.
He looked up at both of them "Are you guys going to rape me?"
Lan Fan smiled "Yes Ed we are"
He wheezed "I just wanted to confirm that " Then he got a whiff of their breath "Have you two been drinking?"
Winry pushed him backwards as she ripped his boxers off "Don't change the subject Ed and were perfectly sober enough to handle you." she had a gleam in her eyes as she smiled.
He laid there on the floor feeling he was about to be violated as he squeaked out "Moooommy"
Al keep hearing squeaks and crashes and what sounded like yells for help but he just shoved the pillow over his head because he knew Edward sometimes got loud when he did martial arts moves.
They pinned him to the ground and put a sock in his mouth "What are you doing? Just let him penetrate us" Winry told Lan Fan as Edwards eyes got huge.
He began shaking his head back and forth choking on the sock trying to scream in protest. Lan fan removed the sock as both girls looked down at him "WHAT!" they said.
He pleaded " You don't want me. What if I'm not any good at it? I've never done this before"
Lan Fan looked at him and put her face inches from his and whispered "We'll never know because it's our first time too."
Edward nodded his head not believing this was happening "O….kaaay" Oh crap I'm screwed. Wait NO I'm GOING TO BE SCREWED! AHHHHHH! Man I miss having my automail arm right now he began to struggle again.
Winry looked at Lan Fan with a gleam in her eye "Grab the jump ropes and tie his arms up."
Edward turned to her "Are you serious?"
"Put the sock back in his mouth." Lan Fan commanded her.
"Winry….Wiiiinry" moving his head back and forth so she couldn't get it back in his mouth.
Lan Fan jumped up and in a brawly guy voice "Edward my furry mane wants to eat you" She pointed to her crotch and stuck it out as both girls burst out laughing.
"AHHHHH" he screamed and his eyes got huge and Winry shoved the sock in his mouth.
"Furry mane that was hysterical" Winry fell over laughing Edward took that chance to try to jump up but Lan Fan jumped on him and as they landed she had red eyes and a demon voice "WHERE ARE YOU GOING TINY MAN?"
Winry bent over in front of him and touched the floor "See the full moon Ed" she said looking through her legs back at him as she burst out laughing and almost fell on her head.
Niiiice ass Edward thought I hate to see her go but I love to watch her leave even if she is drunk. Then it hit him again OH MY GOD! this is it. I'm gonna die he thought death by naked drunk chicks. Well I guess it's better than old age or being corn holed by a guy named Bubba. What the hell am I thinking I am seriously deranged I have two naked chicks that want to have sex, Maybe I should just give in to their demands and I might live to see tomorrow.
"Taaaa yh ok uuu yiii uth" he tried to say.
Lan Fan was busy getting him ready and Winry gave him a confused look because she didn't understand him "What?" he moved his head to motion for her to take the sock out of his mouth.
"Alriiiight I give." He said wondering if this was the best decision he'd ever made. But if he didn't he'd probably asphyxiate on his own dirty sock.
"What are you doing?" Lan Fan asked watching Winry untie him.
"I giiiive" Edward said as Winry began kissing his chest then moved her lips to his mouth. He grabbed onto her and pulled her closer Lan Fan was busy on her own thing.
About a half hour later Al could hear through his pillow things crashing to the floor and what sounded like someone getting slammed into the wall. "What is he doing in there?" Al got up and walked to Edwards door as he put his hand on the knob he heard moaning and grunting and Winry squeaking. He decided he better just leave it be as he walked back to his room he heard what sounded like Edwards bed breaking.
"Wow he must be into some serious training and it sounds like Winry's watching" Poor Al completely clueless of the sounds of rape in the first degree went back to bed.
Edward couldn't handle it anymore as he collapsed between both of them and laid their with his eyes closed for a few seconds both girls on all fours looked down at him then to each other "Did we kill him?" Winry asked looking at Lan Fan.
Lan Fan had a confused look on her face "I don't know he's still breathing" She said leaning down and kissing his lips "Edwaaaard are you okay" she said leaning back.
Both girls kissed his cheeks then worked their way to his mouth then began kissing him as he caught his breath he kissed each one.
"He's alive" Lan Fan smiled.
"You two are way out of control" he said as both girls laid their head on each of his shoulders.
"So what do you want to do tomorrow?" Winry asked Lan Fan as they both looked at Edward. He cracked his eyes open to see their smiling faces and thought oh shit I'm in trouble.
He woke up the next morning and stretched and thought what a dream that was till he opened his eyes the room was destroyed everything was smashed and there were huge holes in the walls. He looked over and saw Winry in his bed then he turned his head the other way and saw Lan Fan. He face palmed and thought what have I done then he remembered the night before.
" Oh shit, oh shit" he said closing his eyes again as both girls rolled over and put their hands on his chest. He grinned and thought my god what an experience that was. Then their hands started to wander over his body he opened his eyes to see both girls leaned up on their elbows smiling at him.
He swallowed hard and squeaked out "CRAP! Here we go again."
About three hours later Edward came walking down the stairs veeeery slowly with his hair sticking up and miscellaneous knots in it. He walked to the kitchen where he sat down veeeery slowly he'd never hurt so bad in his entire life.
"Hey brother" Al smiled eating his cereal noticing the disarray his brother was in "How was your night?"
"Veeery interesting Al…..very interesting" he said grabbing for the coffee.
About that time both Winry and Lan Fan came bouncing into the kitchen they both stopped and both kissed Edward on each cheek " Good morrrrning Edwaaaard" They said together and each smiled a huge smile before they walked out the door.
Al stared at his brother dumbfounded as he raised an eyebrow "Ed what did you do last night?"
Edward was shocked "ME!" he pointed to himself "WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME!"
Al's mouth fell open "Did you infiltrate the female nation and spread your democracy?"
"WHAT!" He yelled "NO!" his head went down "If you must know they RAPED me."
Al crossed his hands in front of his face "Were you a willing participant?"
Ed had a confused look "NO!" He said softly "Not at first"
Al laughed "THAT WASN'T RAPE IT WAS SURPRISE SEX!"
Edward got annoyed "Yeah I was quite surprised when both of them were in my ROOM!"
Al face palmed "Oh Ed!" then shook his head at his brother.
Edward stood up slowly as he tried to move "I'm going back to bed" he said exhausted.
Both girls heads popped through a window "Did you say you were going to bed?" smiling deviously.
Edward threw his arms out in front of him "NO! NO!" he began to wave them back and forth "I SAID I FEEL LIKE I'M DEAD!"
Both girls walked in the door and drug him off "AHHHHH!" kicking and screaming back up the stairs.
Winry turned and looked at him "Well then you'll feel much better after this."
He gave Al a pleading look "Heeeeelp Meeeeee!"
"Sorry brother but I don't want to take on both of them." He continued eating his cereal.
"ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LL"