Memories That Remain

They say your life flashes before your eyes in those moments just before you die, or the moments you think you're going to die anyway. I was always curious about that. I wonder if my mother's flashed before her own eyes. Did it flash for everyone, or just those who were about die suddenly? I don't know why this thought has worked its way into my mind at this moment on the train home for Christmas break. Maybe there are Nargles around.

I hate being on the train right now. I miss the joy and laughter I have with my friends. But that is all gone. These are troubled times. Ginny may not have let the situation kill her fiery passion, but she's put so much energy into everything, that in the quiet moments, she all but dies of exhaustion.

What was the world coming to? War? Destruction? Father might have some ideas. Whether they are sane or logical was another matter.

I am ripped from my thoughts by a commotion, the door to our compartment is being forced open. It's Draco Malfoy.

"Come with me, Looney."

I might not ever say anything about it, and I might not act like it bothers me, but I hate that name. No one seems to realize I'm just as human and as sane as they are. I just have a different personality and was raised in a slightly different way.

"I don't think so, Draco."

I can tell by the look on his face that he didn't expect that. Serves him right. I'm not sure exactly what he wants with me, but I know it can't be good. Although I'd never spoken my thoughts out loud, I had trusted Harry last year when he said that Draco was a Death Eater. He wasn't a very convincing one though.

"I said, come with me."

"Make me."

"Don't think I won't, Looney. I'm just giving you a chance to make things easier on yourself."

I sit and stare at him for a moment. And I glance at Ginny from the corner of my eye. She's still fast asleep. I know exactly how exhausted she, and I'll be shocked if she doesn't just sleep straight through break.

I slowly stand, locking eyes with him, so he thinks I'm cooperating, and then in a flash I raise my wand, casting the Bat Bogey hex, Ginny would be so proud, "Camagādaṛa balagama."

I laugh as he writhes in pain as his mucus turns into bats and they fly out of his nose. At this point, Ginny is rousing from her slumber, but there's so much chaos that I don't notice Blaise draw his wand and my world goes black.

I am in a dark place. I hear something, voices maybe, but it's so muffled. I'm being moved, pushed out of my safe place. I don't know why or how, but something is forcing me out. There's a bright light, it hurts my eyes and I cry out. The voices are clearer now, less muffled. I hear another person crying. And I'm handed to them. I know their smell, it makes me feel safe. I stop my own crying. And I hear her saying things I don't understand.

"My beautiful Luna."

I am determined. I do not like this sitting around or crawling like an animal. I want to be like mommy. I know I can pull myself up using the table, I've done it before. So it grab it and pull myself up to stand on my own shaky legs. I let out a cry of delight at my accomplishment, and I see mommy watching me from the other room. She smiles at me, only encouraging my quest. I want her to come hold me. If I can succeed, she will.

I brace the table and move slowly along its length until I'm at the end. Then I hold on with only one hand and place a shaky leg out, trying to shift my weight to it. Taking a deep breath and concentrating hard, I let go of the table as I move my foot forward and set it down. I'm standing with nothing to hold me up, and I feel excited. I pick up my foot again and although I'm looking at my feet, I know mommy is watching.

"Xenophilius, come here," Mommy calls, looking for Daddy, "She's walking."

And then I fall hard on my butt and begin to cry. Mommy comes to me and picks me up, holding me close.

We are in the woods. Mommy and Daddy are looking for something I don't know. But I am in a cloth of sorts against mommy's back. I like being close to her, I feel safe. But something is wrong. Someone is here watching us, but Mommy and Daddy don't see, they keep moving through the forest, looking only for their creatures. But I can hear the noises. They are following us, and I think I hear mean laughing. They aren't paying attention though. How do they not hear? I must warn them but I don't know how.

Mommy, I think, trying to force her to hear my mind.

I've practiced sounds before, and Mommy and Daddy cooed over it. It made them happy.

"Ma-" I start to sound out. I've heard her say it before.

"Hush, Luna," Mommy says, "you'll frighten them away."

But she doesn't notice what's there.

"Mama," I say, ignoring her plea for me to be quiet. I am scared. "Mama."

"Make her be quiet," Daddy whispers, ignoring the fact that I have just uttered my first words.

Mommy sighs and stops while daddy keeps moving. We're alone and it's quiet, and she can hear it. Twigs breaking behind us, and then a low growl.

"Xneophilius, there's a bear."

I am nine years old. I am watching my mother as she experiments with her spells again. I do not like that she does this. She gets hurt a lot, and it makes me scared. But she always tells me I have nothing to fear.

"Don't be afraid, little Luna. Mommy knows what she's doing. I won't be going anywhere."

And now she's playing with her spells again. But I've been studying her books, and I fear she's going to do something bad. The words she's using have to do with fire and explosion.

"Mommy-," I start to say, to beg her to stop. But she knows this and stops me.

"Oh Luna dear, do stop your worrying. If you can't, please go upstairs and play with your toys."

I know she does not understand my fear, maybe she just doesn't care. She's so care free and happy, I wish I could be like her. I turn to go and stop at the front door, turning as she casts her spell at a mirror and it failed, backfiring at her.

I scream, and run towards her, my heart pounding my chest. I hear the door open behind me and I hear dad cry out. I reach her, and she is singed. Her hair is darkened and her face burned. She is not breathing. I lean my head against her chest. I do not hear her heart.

She is gone.

I am dead, I think this to myself as I come to in a dark, cold room. But if I am, then I have no clue where I am. I have never been dead before, so I do not know what death is like, but I don't think it's like this. I pinch myself as hard as I can, and it hurts. Okay, not dead. But somewhere.

Where am I? Why did they want me? Why was I important?

Slowly sitting up, I wait for my eyes to adjust. It seems clear that I am in a basement or cellar of sorts. It is dark and musty, and reminds me very much of the dungeons at Hogwarts, but I know that I am not there.

I pull myself to shaky legs, holding the wall for support.

"Hello," I call out, wondering if someone might be waiting.

There is no response, so I move to walk around. There are lit torches, providing a soft glow, and I move towards them.

"Hello?"

Still no one responds. It could be a scare tactic. But I don't even know what they want. They're death eaters, they probably want information on Harry, but I don't know anything. They should have taken Ginny for that, but she doesn't know anything either.

Something moves in the shadows, and I look around.

"Who's there? Show yourselves."

"Luna Lovegood, willow tree eight and a half inches, unicorn hair core."

"Mr. Ollivander?"

A/N: Thank you for reading. This has been an entry for The Quidditch League Fan fiction competition. As keeper for the Ballycastle Bats, my prompt was to write about chaser 1, Mimiegreen's (aka Mimi), favorite character or pairing. Her favorite character is Luna. So that's who I chose to write for. And for those that are curious the spell I used for the bat bogey, "Camagādaṛa balagama" is Google's translation of "bat mucus" into Hindi. I chose Hindi mostly because it didn't have any form of the words "bat" or "mucus". Hope you all enjoyed. And for anyone who recognizes it or is curious, the title is a lyric from the song "Our Last Summer" from Mama Mia the musical/movie.