Summary of the series as a whole:
"The life of a Homestuck character, within the bounds of Homestuck, is hard. The life of a Homestuck character, taken entirely outside of the context of Homestuck and placed in a universe where Homestuck exists, is somehow even harder. It doesn't help that, whenever you go anywhere, people are always insisting you are a roleplayer and/or a cosplayer, but yet, somehow things become even worse when a madman, one who calls himself Andrew Hussie, makes you read about the adventures you never had.
Little do you know, though, that you're literally entering an epic of space and time, of joy and sorrow, of hilarity and sobriety, and that it'll change your lives. Is it for the better? Is it for the worse? You will have to decide for yourselves."
Full clarification of AU:
* The beta kids never played Sburb. They have been living with their guardians and leading ordinary human lives.
* The cherubim don't share a body, but that doesn't mean they have a human form (think their dreamselves in canon). Likewise, they never played Sburb. They have been living together on present-day Earth ever since they hatched.
* The post-Scratch trolls (who make a debut in Loading Screen 1) have successfully completed Sgrub and were granted access to the Earth, but instead of becoming literal gods, were scattered across the United States and have been struggling to live human lives ever since.
Author's idiotisms: Explanation of the title: several early drafts of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory were named Charlie's Chocolate Boy.
STAGE 1 ⇒
This is the story of an ordinary cherub girl named Calliope.
Ever since the day of her hatching, April 13, 1996, she was living in an inconspicuous house in Easthampton, Massachusetts with her brother, Caliborn. Their life, given that they were raised on Earth, was similar to that of any Earth child. They ate local food, went to a local school, spoke and wrote in the English language and sometimes they even felt like they were truly human.
Unfortunately, it was pretty obvious that they were not human. They both had green skin, and they didn't quite understand why. They had spirals on each of their cheeks: Calliope's were bright green, while Caliborn's were bright red. Last but not least, they didn't have a family. They referred to each other as "brother" and "sister", but only because they weren't quite aware of their own biology and couldn't tell the actual term, and they sure as hell didn't have any parents; at least, not in the very same place.
Eventually, Calliope became sick of being regarded as an alien all the time. Through various means, she found out about things like face paint, gloves and wigs, and eventually learned how to obscure her actual appearance and look more like a human. The look given to her by these tools wasn't quite what she desired, but at least it made the obvious alien features less obvious. Caliborn regarded them as offensive, though, and it just added to the long list of reasons why he hated his sister.
And Caliborn was really born to hate. He hated the Earth, he hated humans, he hated his sister, he hated the house where they were living, he hated the idea of computers, he hated everything. The only thing that he liked, at least in his early days, was himself. Eventually, he developed some interests, like human romance (he only liked observing it, though, and did not wish to participate in such a frivolous activity), but nevertheless they were scarce.
Calliope, on the other hand, was born to like. She still hated her brother (mostly because he hated her) and was disgusted by not being the same as other humans, but she saw the sweetness in the world. She wanted to capture the sweetness and hold it dear to her forever, and thus she began doing creative work after she learned about it at school. She mostly drew and wrote - since these were the two media immediately available to her - and she had become really good at both.
Thus Calliope and Caliborn lived. While they were really cherubim, instead they looked like living stereotypes: a stereotype of endearment and a stereotype of disgust, if they were given bodies that were humanoid but not quite human. No one around them had any explanation on what was going on, and it seemed they were to live such a life for their lifetimes, and, to be honest, they weren't even aware how long cherub lifetimes were.
Unknown to them, though, in the very same town, there was a man who would tell the answers. The circumstances in which he told the answers would be rather strange, and his personality, adjusted by these circumstances, also would be rather strange, but nevertheless, he would be the only one with insight into the cherub biology, society, history and personality. Like Calliope and Caliborn, he lived in an ordinary house, but that didn't stop him from being an extraordinary man, heavily influenced by the world wide web.
But for now, Calliope resigned to her side of the house, locked it with a key she had since she was small - one she would never dare lose or give to anyone, given who she was living with - and continued her current writing project.