A/N So. We all know Dreamworks left us that lovely yet annoying gap between RTTE season four and five where Astrid and Hiccup get bethrothed and we didn't get to see it. The pain! The agony! The opportunity….Lots of writers have decided to try and fill that gap, including my lovely friend Ship Mistress (check her stuff out!) whose proposal story inspired me to finally scribble down my own. Unfortunately my brain had come up with a terribly short, crack idea. I liked it, but I wanted to write something a bit longer. However, my brain was attached its own idea and thought that it was sooooo endearing and funny that it wouldn't let me discard it. Hence, after several brain v. me arguments (I lost), I decided to have a go at the lovely fan fiction trope of '5 times this happened and the one time that happened instead'. I've seen it done in a few fandoms and this seemed to be a good opportunity to play with the idea. So five times Hiccup tried to propose, and the one time he did. I refer to the betrothal medallion as a 'token' because that seemed the easiest word to go with. You all know what I mean anyway And I'm sorry for bringing Johann in, albeit briefly, but I figured that if they don't know about him at this point, I can pretend not to.
The title is taken from the apocryphal belief that 'taking an arrow to the knee' was Old Norse slang for getting engaged. I know it isn't true but I just liked the myth it so much I decided to use it anyway.
As always, comments and reviews are massively appreciated, and I'm always open to asks, though I make no promises of speed!
I'll admit, this is a huge pile of (hopefully) comic and fluffy fluff because that is what my life needs right now. The characters swear a bit because I do (not sorry), and Hiccup is perhaps not quite his usual calm and collected self, but we'll chalk that down to circumstances… I hope you like this silly idea as much as my addled brain did… Enjoy!
P.S. One of these stories actually borrows very very strongly from the way my husband proposed to me. I wonder if you can guess which one? xx
An Arrow to the Knee
(Five times Hiccup Haddock didn't get to propose, and the one time he did)
Catching the terrible terror flapping round his hut was not easy. The damn thing obviously wasn't the best trained mail carrier and by the time Hiccup had hold of the paper his heart was pounding and sweat was prickling his hairline. Which, to be fair, given the letter he was expecting, it probably would have been anyway. Hands shaking, he flicked off the wax seal bearing his father's mark and scanned the carefully penned lines. Oh for Thor's sake, how long was this letter? Where were the words he was looking for? Ah, naturally, the last paragraph, just after all the amazingly important news about fish catches, harvest numbers and Gobber's latest gronckle-iron experiments….
As to your other question Hiccup, what took you so long to ask?
Geir Hofferson and I spoke months ago son! You're not as difficult to read as you think, neither of you. The Hoffersons are all for the match of course lad, I have all the marriage contracts drawn up and the bride price in hand. Just bring Astrid back to Berk to sign them as soon as you can and we'll make the announcement! I'm very happy for you son, very proud, your mother would have been too.
And you should see Gobber, he's that pleased and threatening to throw the biggest betrothal party Berk has ever seen…
The rest of the letter carried on in the same vein before Stoick's huge looping signature signed off at the bottom of the page. Hiccup let it drop to the floor, to finish reading later. So, the formalities were all in place, the parents all in agreement, contracts drawn up and bride price settled. Excellent. All he had to do then, was ask. Just ask. Ask for the one thing he wanted more than pretty much anything in his life. Ask the scariest question he'd ever contemplated leaving his lips. Ask Astrid Hofferson to marry him. He groaned, head in his hands. How in Odin's name was he meant to do that?
1. In Which Hiccup Learns Why Breakfast is the Most Important Meal of the Day
After a sleepless night of tossing and turning, plotting and planning, Hiccup made found himself walking Astrid's hut, traditional betrothal token safely hidden in his pocket, bunch of flowers in hand. Astrid would be out for her usual morning flight and he intended to be there to surprise her when she got back, hand over the blooms and simply pop the question. Nothing fancy, no messing about, just ask. He grinned. By dinnertime he would almost certainly be a betrothed man.
Except that he wasn't. By dinnertime Astrid still hadn't reappeared and Hiccup's legs were starting to cramp from sitting by her cold fire, the flowers drooping a bit. Where could she have got to? His stomach rumbled and he almost regretted skipping breakfast, not that his nerves would have let him eat much anyway. But he couldn't leave now, he was ready, his words were prepared and she was bound to come back the second he left and wouldn't that spoil everything? If he was over at the clubhouse, stuffing his face when he should be here, celebrating with Astrid? No. He'd just hang on a while longer. The payoff would surely be worth it… He settled himself onto the stool again, crossed his legs and lost himself in thoughts of their future, clutching the flowers and smiling quietly.
It was past three in the afternoon when Astrid's re-entry startled Hiccup out of a rather detailed and pleasant daydream, in which he was watching Astrid teach one of their several children how to axe fight. At the bang of the door, his head shot up, eyes wide.
"Hiccup?" Astrid's face lit up when she saw him, though her voice was puzzled. "What are you doing here? Were you waiting for me? Sorry babe, me and Stormfly, we got distracted, flew much further out than I'd meant to and got caught in bad weather. Had to wait it out on one of those little islands to the far north. Hope you've not been here too long." She laughed, walking over to him. "Did you need me?"
Well, if that wasn't a lead in to a proposal, he didn't know what was.
"Yes," he started, words struggling past his shockingly dry mouth. All at once his hands were tingling and he could feel his heart banging in his throat. He coughed. "Ahem. Yes, yes actually I did need you. Astrid, I wanted to ask.." Pushing himself up off the stool on screaming legs he stood and made to take a step over to her. "I wanted to ask.." the world spun crazily, blurring at the edges. "I wanted to…hang on, stood up too fast…" Suddenly disobedient his eyes rolled back in his head, his knees collapsed and he fell like a tree.
Hiccup woke to the sound of Astrid's anxious voice and her cool hands patting his cheeks.
"Hiccup? Hiccup! Come on, talk to me…"
He lifted a lid and looked into her blurry face. "Wha' happen'?"
"I think you fainted! Gods, how long were you sitting there you daft bugger?"
"I dunno…" he struggled to sit up and look as dignified as possible, given the circumstances. "A couple of hours? It didn't seem that long…" As if to add insult to injury his stomach gave an earth shattering growl which ended in a most indelicate burbling rumble. Red faced, he conceded "Well, it might have been a while I suppose."
"And you didn't eat today, by the sounds of that. Honestly, what would you do without me?" Astrid hauled him to his feet. "Come on, clubhouse. Ruff was putting on some yak steaks as I landed, let's get you fed."
Hiccup tried to protest but the words 'yak steaks' caused his mouth to water and another toe-curling growl to reverberate from deep in his gut. Betrayed by his own insides. He huffed.
"Okay, fine, I suppose I could eat."
Arm in arm they made their way down towards the clubhouse. Just outside, Astrid stopped. "Wait, what did you want anyway? You said there was something you wanted to ask me?"
Hiccup assessed. He was cramped, pale, a little sweaty and his stomach was making noises fit to summon Ragnarok. No. How was not the time. Offering her a wan smile he took her hand and lead her in toward the sounds of talk and laughter and the smell of cooking steak.
"Not just at the moment, Milady. Don't worry. It'll keep."
He would do better next time.
2. In Which Two's Company, Three's a Crowd and Six is a Pain in the Arse.
Right, Hiccup thought as he brushed down Toothless and his stall a day or so later, this time, perhaps a little more planning would be useful. He had the token in his saddle bag ready, but other things needed sorting. Firstly actually making sure that Astrid was available would be good. Not to mention a little self-fortification. And then choosing a spot a little more special… Aha! He had the perfect idea. Now he just needed to get Astrid's attention, without alerting the rest of the dragon riders. Not that easy, considering they were all in the stable cleaning their dragons together and therefore very close by. Hiccup glanced around…nobody seemed to be watching. Good. Bending to the floor he snatched up a small rock from the pile he'd swept and sent it soaring fairly accurately across the stable towards Astrid where it bounced off her pauldron with a resounding 'ping!'. Startled, she looked up from grooming Stormfly and saw him waving. He grinned when he had her attention and put a finger to his lips, silently miming "Shhhhhhh"
Astrid stared at him, quirking a puzzled eyebrow.
"Will you," Hiccup mouthed silently, "come to the hot springs with me later?"
The hot springs had been running ever since the volcano became more active and the water was soothing, gathering in deep pools where it was possible to swim in warmth and comfort any time of day. It was quiet, romantic and pretty. Perfect. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to be getting his point across. Astrid stared blankly for a moment and then shrugged, shaking her head. Bugger. He tried again, this time enunciating more forcefully, stretching his lips in an effort to be more clear.
"Will you… come to the hot springs… with me… later?"
Nope. Not one flicker of understanding, she was just staring at him now.
This called for more drastic measures. Feeling a bit of a muttonhead but determined to achieve his aim he decided to be a bit more active, saying the phrase again but this time adding a gesture to each word;
"Will" Oh Thor, that was hard. In the end he just waved a bit vaguely, but thankfully the rest was simpler. "you" he pointed at her, "come" two fingers walked across the opposite palm, "to" easy, he raised two fingers, "the hot" he fanned himself and mimed panting, "springs" a small bounce up and down, "with" two hands clasped, "me" Hiccup pointed at his own chest, "later" waving one arm he drew an arc to mimic the passage of the sun. There. Hiccup felt pretty pleased with himself. That must have been clear as crystal and he grinned across at Astrid. Who was still standing looking bewildered and a tiny bit panicked.
"What?" she mouthed
Oh for Thor's sake, what was so hard? He clearly could read her lips so what was so difficult about his? Taking a bit deep breath he started again. "Will" wave "you" point "come" finger walk "to" two fingers, "the hot" fan "springs" bounce "with" clasp "me" point again "later" arc. Simple! Surely that time….But no. Astrid just stared. Okay, this time with feeling. Once more, Hiccup launched into his routine, gurning like a champion and flapping his arms and bouncing in exaggerated movements until he was rather red in the face. As he finished panting and looked at Astrid she just lifted her hands helplessly. For the love of Odin! Fine. He would just walk across and whisper, which was far less discrete but at least he wouldn't look like quite so much of an idiot…Hiccup took a step towards Astrid and as he did so became suddenly aware that she was no longer the only one looking at him. Evidently drawn by his antics, four pairs of eyes belonging to the other riders were also gazing his way. Arse. He blushed.
"I, erm…"
"Ahem," Tuff interrupted, "I believe, Astrid, that what our illustrious leader is trying to ask, in his own unique way, is if you would like to come to the hot springs later with him. Am I right Hiccup?"
Hiccup blushed harder. "Well, yes…"
"Though why he's going about it like an eel-ridden Nadder, I have no idea. No need for all that palaver my dear Hiccup! We're all grown ups here are we not? No need to be embarrassed!"
Hiccup smiled in surprise. Wow, Tuff was actually going to acknowledge the fact that he and Astrid had a need for privacy and alone time, and the others were all smiling and nodding…perhaps he had misjudged them, perhaps they were growing up, perhaps he should just have asked and not made an idiot of himself for the second time that week. Perhaps…
"Indeed!" Tuffnut continued, "We're all grown ups who love a hot spring party! No shame in that Hiccup! We'd love to come swimming!"
Or perhaps not. Oh, by Loki's left bollock…
"That's not quite what I meant…." Hiccup tried but his protests were drowned in a flood of excited chatter.
Fishlegs rubbed his hands with enthusiasm."I'll fetch my notebooks, the springs are home to some interesting sulphur-loving plants I've been meaning to study…"
"Study?" Snotlout sounded disgusted. "The only thing you'll be studying Fishface will be the splash from my diving!" he grinned. "I'll be all like, 'Ballista – boulder!' and you'll be all 'drenched'!"
"Diving, Snotlout?" Ruffnut was derisive. "More like belly flopping! Wait until you see me is all I can say. Let me get my swimming wrap and watch out boys, those hot springs are about to get a whole lot hotter….."
"Urgh!"
With a collective grimace from the boys, the four left the clubhouse to gather their necessaries. Only Astrid was left, smiling knowingly at him.
"Not what you had in mind babe?"
He bit back a groan. "Not quite."
"Should be a fun afternoon though. I'll get my towel. Meet you there in ten minutes?" swiftly kissing him on the cheek she headed for the door herself, pausing to call over her shoulder "There's always next time…"
As she left Hiccup let the groan go in earnest, leaning on Toothless' side.
"Come on then bud, I guess we have a pool party to attend." Swinging himself up into the saddle he shook his head. "Next time. Sure. I seem to be saying that a lot lately."
3. In Which Astrid 'Fleas' the Scene
The third time was going to be the charm. The beach. A sky full of stars. Moonlight. A cool breeze, an evening walk, dragons peacefully playing in the surf… What could be better? Hiccup smiled to himself, watching Astrid out of the corner of his eye as they strolled down the sand together hand in hand, just chatting. She was bright, animated, describing a new move she'd taught Stormfly that day and her beauty made his heart lurch. Now was the time! He just needed to distract her attention for half a minute so that he could get the betrothal token out of his pocket and get down on one knee…how could he manage that alone on a deserted beach? Then he spotted it. Ah ha! Hiccup cleared his throat.
"Astrid, love, sorry to interrupt," he said, his tone aimed firmly at 'innocent', "but, could you get me some of that seaweed?"
She stopped and turned to him with a doubtful frown. "Some of that what?"
"Seaweed." Pointing, he indicated a brown, gelatinous mass sitting further up the beach, at least a hundred metres away, almost at the treeline.
"That stuff?" She did not sound pleased. "What exactly do you want dried up old seaweed for?"
"Erm…" a second of blankness, then inspiration struck. "Fishlegs! He asked me to collect some of that particular species if we saw any, apparently it's quite rare. But there it is! Aren't we lucky?"
Astrid stared at him in a way that clearly indicated she did not feel lucky right that second. Bravely, Hiccup pressed on.
"So, if you could just pop over there and grab some, that would be great. I'd go, but I just need a minute, I think the sand is gumming up my leg…."
He bent and started to fiddle with some of the moving parts of his foot, dislodging invisible sand from the works. Even without looking he could feel the glare she gave him; it could have cut gronckle iron.
"Seriously, Hiccup? In the middle of this gorgeous walk, you want me to go pick up stinking seaweed for Fishlegs? Seriously?"
He plastered on what he hoped was a convincing smile. "If you don't mind, that would be amazing."
"If I don't…?" she was incredulous. "Okay, fine. But I'm warning you Haddock, you will owe me big time!" She spun on her heel and started over to the pile.
Hiccup grinned. "Oh, believe me Milady," he whispered to himself, "I fully intend to make it up to you!"
Astrid had reached the weed pile quickly and started gingerly picking at the edges, obviously looking for the least disgusting bit to grab, he didn't have much time. Dropping quickly down to one knee Hiccup rummaged in his pockets until he found the token, arranged himself in what he hoped was a suitably romantic manner (on the knee, token in one hand, other hand over his heart, face in a happy smile – that should hit the mark), took a deep breath and braced himself to ask the question. Astrid was on her way back to him now, seaweed in hand bless her, as soon as she got to him he would show her the token and pop the question. Wouldn't she be surprised? She was running and it seemed as if she was running towards them, towards their future, he was ready to ask and he could imagine her reply so clearly. She was getting closer, he could almost hear her voice already, hear the word he was so hoping for…
"SAND FLEAS!"
Well, no, not quite that. Startled out of his reverie, Hiccup saw Astrid thundering furiously towards him waving the strands of weed wildly. She crashed into him, sending them both tumbling across the sand, finally ending up sitting astride him, face contorted in disgust.
"Sand fleas, Hiccup, that stuff is crawling with bloody sand fleas!" She dropped the stinking handful onto his chest. "There, I hope that's enough for whatever Fishlegs wants, I am not picking it up again! It's godsdamned revolting! Next time, let him fetch his own samples. I swear, an army of them crawled up my arms…urgh!" Shuddering with revulsion she stood up and whistled piercingly. Seconds later, Stormfly raced up from the water's edge and Astrid climbed quickly into her saddle. "Sorry to cut our walk short babe, but I need a wash, like, now. I'll see you tomorrow… Come on girl, to the big stream, fast as you can!"
Stunned, Hiccup watched as girl and dragon disappeared in search of running water and soap. Toothless ambled up and burbled mournfully, front foot nudging at the betrothal token, lying half-buried in the sand where Astrid's impact had flung it. Hiccup sat up to grab it and dislodged the weed which slid stickily down his chest. He flung the reeking stuff away, angrily sending it back towards the trees.
"No, bud, that wasn't how I..ow…expected that to go..ow…either. Ow!" Little pricks of pain were erupting on his neck, hands and pretty much any area of exposed skin. "Oh, Thor, that damn stuff is full of fleas! Ouch, shit! Here, hold this!"
Slapping the token onto Toothless' nose Hiccup ran, full-pelt and fully-clothed, straight into the sea. Whether he would ever come out again remained to be decided. Third time was definitely not a charm.
4. In which Dagur is a Gooseberry.
"Okay, listen up gang," Hiccup swept a hand over the island map he'd pinned up in the clubhouse and addressed the riders. "We're due another fireworm migration and we do not want it to go down like last time. No, Ruff, no, Tuff," he said, raising one finger firmly as the twins made as if to argue, "we definitely do not. Now, the Night Terrors should be able to protect the island and draw the flock away by assuming the form of the Queen like they did before but I don't think we should take chances. So, I've assigned lookouts to each side of the island to keep an eye out for trouble and to help co-ordinate Smidvarg and the Terrors if need be. And a massive thank you to Dagur and Heather for coming over to give us a hand, we know you're really busy on Berserker Island, so we do appreciate it!"
A chorus of thanks was received by the two Berserkers who smiled and accepted a few offered high-fives, laughing. Everyone seemed in a light enough mood Hiccup thought, so far, so good.
"Right," he ran a hand through his unruly hair and gesture to the map. "Here's your positions. Ruff, Tuff, you're taking the East watch tower. Heather, you and Fishlegs will be in the West. Keep an eye particularly on the forest in that direction. Snotlout, you and Dagur will stay here on The Edge and watch out for our huts. The fireworms should give you a wide berth but call if you need backup of any kind. That just leaves me and Astrid to take the North tower. All okay with that? Good, let's get cracking then."
He asked the last hurriedly, was moving towards the door and Toothless, and had almost made it when Dagur's voice rang out from behind.
"Excuse me, Hiccup?"
Hiccup winced then turned. "Yes, Dagur, question?"
The big Beserker smiled his wide, slightly crazy smile. "Well, not a question as such, no…"
"Okay then, let's get going then…"
"But, would it be alright with you, little brother, if I made some changes?"
Hiccup forced a friendly smile onto his face and spoke through gritted teeth.
"Changes? You don't like the plan?"
"Oh, no, it's a good plan, Hiccup, a good plan. It's only, well. It is a long trip to here from Beserker Island and I'd hate to come all this way and miss the opportunity for some good old family bonding with my little brother! Not that Snothat and I wouldn't have a wonderful time hanging out, but we don't get this opportunity everyday, now do we?" Dagur grinned, arms held wide. "Such busy lives we lead brother… I'm sure Snotknob wouldn't mind trading teams this time. Would you Snotboy?"
"Me? Noooo…" Snotlout looked way too pleased. "Much as I'd love to spend a whole evening with Mr So-extra-friendly-I-have-no-concept-of-personal-space-why-don't-we-wrestle….I'm okay to trade. So, ready to hang out Astrid? Protect The Edge with the Archipelago's finest?"
Astrid grimaced uncertainly, "Weeelll…." She unconsciously hefted her axe, was saved by Heather.
"Actually, Hiccup, I was hoping to spend a bit of girl-time with Astrid. It's been a while since we had time to talk, hasn't it? And there's so much I need to catch up on." She grinned, a little suggestively. "So, if the twins go East, Snot and 'legs can take the West, Astrid and I could stay here, leaving you and Dagur to go North. That works."
"See, brother, everything covered, everyone happy, what do you think?"
All eyes turned to him, Heather's sparkling cheekily, Astrid's wide with pleading and Dagur's, well. Dagur's were just huge puppy dog eyes, incongruously innocent in his scruffily bearded face. What could he say? Hiccup sighed.
"Sure. Sure. That's just perfect."
They landed at the North tower not long after, Dagur dismounting and entering the shelter first. Hiccup followed and braced himself for comments. They weren't long in coming.
"Whoohoohoo! Look at this! Someone's been building himself quite the nest out here hasn't he?" Dagur's gesture took in the small covered platform, lit by a few (expensive) beeswax candles in glass dishes, the plump cushions littering the floor, the small table with its dish of nuts and bowl of ripe fruit. Dagur took an apple and began crunching it merrily.
"Wow, little brother, this is nice and all, but, well, just for en evening's watching? You don't want the team thinking you're not tough, do you? A little hardship never hurt a Viking!" Sinking down into a fat cushion the Beserker grunted appreciatively and stretched out. "Maybe, save this sort of thing for special occasions, hey?"
Hiccup curled himself onto the floor, plucked a grape from the bowl and chewed it, sour-faced, the weight of the betrothal token heavy in his pocket.
"Special occasions?" he drawled sarcastically, "Right. Yes. Can't imagine what I was thinking. Thanks"
Oblivious, Dagur patted him heartily on the back, the force of the friendly blows sending Hiccup rocking forward.
"Hey, don't mention it, what else are big brothers for?" He claimed another apple now, bit into it and then laughed, juice running down his chin. "It's a good job I swapped things round though eh? Imagine what Astrid would have said to all this! She'd think you were going soft… How would you get her to marry you then?"
Laughing at his own brilliance, Dagur slapped Hiccup again and settled in to devour his fruit.
"I have no idea," Hiccup sighed quietly, "No idea at all."
5. In Which Chicken and Warm Milk are Soporific (100% Science Fact, honest)
A few days later, after a very long week of monitoring fireworms, putting out multiple tiny forest fires and generally wrangling the twins and dissuading them from joining in any available carnage, Hiccup was sure he had it cracked. He and Astrid were alone in his hut for the evening, no other riders, no sand fleas, no well-meaning big brothers, and his time he had damn well eaten. And eaten plenty! In fact, he'd cooked up a pretty decent meal, even if he did say so himself. Astrid had certainly polished off a plateful and was sitting back on her chair, hand resting on her stomach, thankfully for once only covered in a loose robe, not her usual tight armoured skirt. So they were alone, warm, fed, comfortable. Tonight was definitely the night.
"You alright?" he asked.
Astrid nodded. "I'm great, babe, thanks. That was a fantastic roast, I can't believe I ate so much! Mind you, it's nice to have something other than yak."
"Thank you. Toothless helped with the actual cooking, didn't you bud?" A faint rumble sounded from upstairs, where a tired dragon was drowsing. "And yeah, I figured, being as Tuffnut wasn't actually invited to our date-night that we might get away with having chicken for once. I'm glad you liked it. Come and sit with me? I have pudding…"
He moved from the table to sit on a big cushion (relocated from the North tower) in front of the fire and spread his legs, making room for Astrid. She pottered over and sank down between his knees, leaning back against his chest and groaning lightly.
"I cannot possibly manage pudding. You have me fully podged as it is Haddock!"
"Oh, go on," he wheedled, wanting to spoil her "It's a new thing, meant to be really delicious, I asked Johann to bring us some, specially for your sweet tooth. Hot chocolate it's called. Try it. You deserve a treat, after all the work you've put in over the last few days."
He pulled over a tray from where it had sat, warming, on the hearth. On it were a jug and two cups. Astrid chuckled.
"Oh, alright then. Let me try this fabulous new thing."
Hiccup poured and a delicious smell filled the air. Handing one cup to Astrid, he took the other for himself and watched as she sipped.
"Oooooh, now that is good…." Astrid licked her lips appreciatively. "Very very tasty, once you get over the Snaptrapper associations…I like it Hiccup. Thank you."
"Anything for you, Milady."
They drank in comfortable silence for a while, enjoying the sweetness, the warmth of the fire and the nearness of each other. Finally, Astrid placed her cup down. Hiccup did the same and brought his arm round her as she snuggled back into him. He smoothed her brow and she sighed contentedly, closing her eyes. Hiccup allowed a few moments of silence to pass, before his nerves threatened to get the better of him. He had to speak, He was quite glad, actually, that he couldn't see her face at this point, being able to just stroke her hair and listen to her breathe somehow made it easier to get the words out. Taking a deep breath and with his heart racing he began.
"Astrid, I need to say something. I know it hasn't been long, I mean, we haven't been a couple long, but being with you, it's, well, it's amazing. Wonderful. I love you. I know you know that, but I'll never get tired of saying it, now that I finally can. I love you. Pretty sure I always have. And always will. So, I wanted to ask, would you do me the honour of making me the happiest Viking who ever lived and marrying me?"
Silence. Terrifying. He rushed to fill it.
"I know, I know, this might be a bit of a shock but I just think the time is right, don't you? I've done the traditional thing and had my Dad talk to your Dad, the contracts are ready. If you want to sign them. I hope you do. I love you, did I say? You're my best human friend, my oldest friend , you're one who really 'gets' me, you're so amazing and so wonderful and you're just gorgeous of course and you're….you're…you're basically asleep aren't you?" He shook her shoulder lightly. "Astrid?"
She gave no reply save a soft snore and an attempt to curl even closer in to him.
"Oh, great. And you didn't hear a word of that, did you? Blessed Freyja…..Come on then, sweetheart."
He wriggled to his knees and hoisted her up into his arms, struggled to his feet and carried her, bridal-style (the irony did not escape him) to the stairs.
"Here we go, up the wooden hill….."
Puffing a bit (it had been a big meal after all) he reached the top and laid Astrid gently in the bed, covering her with a blanket. She didn't even open her eyes. Toothless did however crack a lid, enquiringly, from his nest on the sleeping stone.
"Nope, bud, not today. I guess I'm just a bit rubbish at this proposing thing. Can't seem to get it right." He rummaged in the pocket of his trousers, finding the betrothal token and rubbing his thumb across it ruefully. "I will ask her though, Toothless, I definitely will. There must be some other way to do it I haven't thought of. Somewhere, or some time that will be perfect. Ah well, it'll come to me. Until then…" He strode across the room and opened a drawer on his desk, placed the token carefully inside. "Best keep that safe, it's burning a hole in my pocket. Can't lose my betrothal gift can I? All Hel would break loose." Back at the bed now he untied his harness, pulled off the metal foot and gave his stump a quick rub before slipping under the covers and nestling close to Astrid.
"Toothless, blow out the lamp would you? Night bud."
Toothless obliged and the room plunged into soft darkness. Hiccup gathered Astrid up into his arms and pressed his nose into her hair. He smiled. Things could be a lot worse.
+1 In Which Hiccup's Timing is A Bit Not Good, But Astrid Loves Him Anyway
It was a golden morning. Hiccup had woken to bright clear sunshine streaming through the roof hatch, which Toothless had evidently already opened in search of breakfast, he was warm and still snuggling Astrid in his arms. He'd pressed the length of his body against hers, feeling the soft hardness of her curves, smelling her hair and just loving her. Perhaps a little too firmly, because she'd stirred, turned in his arms, opened her eyes into his and smiled sleepily. She'd been so adorable he hadn't even tried to resist pecking her on the nose. Then pecks had turned into kisses and kisses into caresses and caresses into fumblings as one thing had led to another, and another and then a whole host of breathless and delicious 'anothers' until half an hour later he'd found himself here. Namely holding himself above her on trembling arms, flushed, panting and buried in her secret heat while they both gasped their way through a mutually very satisfying conclusion. He was basking in the afterglow and just staring down at her amazing gorgeousness when she giggled and reached to push his damp hair off his brow.
"Now that is how to have a good morning…" she smirked lazily.
"Indeed Milady," he settled his weight slightly more onto her hips and bent his elbows to steal a kiss. "I cannot wait until we can greet every morning like that, not just here, but on Berk too."
"Oh yes?" She chuckled. "And when will that be then?"
The answer rose so naturally to his lips that the thought of holding it in never even crossed his mind and he spoke the words with a soft laugh, dipping his head for a kiss.
"When we're married of course."
Astrid's finger on his lips stopped him in his tracks. "When we're what?"
Smiling, happy, warm and sated, Hiccup repeated his words easily, lovingly. "Married, Milady. When we're married"
And then the air around the bed froze as he realised what he'd said. Oh Sweet Freyja singing. He didn't dare even to breathe and break the fragile silence. Astrid apparently had no such qualms..
"Hiccup Haddock, did you just propose to me? While we're in bed? While we're all sweaty with morning sex? While you're still inside me?"
He couldn't fathom her tone.
"Erm, a bit?"
Silence. Scary, scary silence. Withdrawing carefully, Hiccup rolled himself down to her side and lay on his back, eyes closed and waiting for the outburst. He felt sick. All that planning and agonising and he'd made such a mess of what should have been… oh gods. What should have been. He was such a dick.
"Did you mean it?" Astrid's voice was very very small.
"Of course!" The exclamation burst out without his say so, "For the love of Thor, of course I meant it! I love you Astrid and I want to always be with you, you're the whole world to me and I've even spoken to your father and he's okay with it, mine is ecstatic and, and…" he trailed off, suddenly aware that the bed was shaking. He opened his eyes and saw she was turned on her side away from him and her shoulders were shaking. "Astrid?" he ventured to touch her shoulder gently. "I know I've messed this up completely and you must hate me and...Astrid? Are you crying?" Hiccup held his breath, if she was, he would just die, right there and then and Hel could take him. Instead, her huge gust of laughter almost startled him out of his skin. Whooping uncontrollably she rolled onto her back, gasping for air.
"Oh Gods, Hiccup, no, I'm not crying. It's just, well, as much as I love you, I don't think that this should be the proposal story we tell our grandchildren, eh?" And she wiped tears off her cheeks, stomach still convulsing. He ventured a nervous giggle.
"No, I don't suppose it's the most appropriate…" then his brain caught up with his ears and his heart hammered. "hang on, grandchildren? Does that mean…is that…is that a yes?"
"Of course it's a yes you big lanky muttonhead! Of course I'll marry you!" And Astrid threw herself on top of him, crushing him in the world's squashiest and most welcome hug and kiss combination, her ecstatic tears mingling with his own. Hiccup thought he had never been so happy.
Once they'd calmed down, maybe half an hour and some extremely damp snogging later, Hiccup found he had Astrid in his arms again, spooning her just like he intended to do every night for the rest of his life. She wriggled and sighed happily.
"What, Milady?"
"Just, I'm glad it happened that way, you know?"
"What, that my proposal was a total mess? Post-coital? And accidental?" he kissed her hair. "Strange things make you glad love."
"No, I don't mean that exactly. Just, well, it was perfect. Real. Heartfelt. Very…Hiccup. Not exactly planned, but somehow right all the same." She snorted a giggle. "Pfhm. I can't imagine you making a fuss with flowers or special locations, can you? Speeches? Moonlight and wooing, fancy food, gifts, and all that faffing about? Wouldn't be very us would it." She giggled again, happily and snuggled back into him. "No, this was perfect, though I may edit it a little for the re-telling. But all that fuss? I can't imagine why people bother."
Hiccup gazed over her head at the drawer where the betrothal token lay, waiting for it's own moment. Well, it would keep, wouldn't it? He was betrothed man now. They had this. And it was more than enough.
"You know what Milady? Neither can I."