Written at the request of /u/CaractacusBurke: a slash fanfic that features Regulus.

A/n: I'd like to inform everybody that I'm not British and did not grow up in the 70's, so my dialogue and such is going to reflect that. I won't do you the disservice of pretending I know how these characters would have actually been talking in Britain in the 70's. Also, not that I discuss clothes much anyway, but my general fan fiction philosophy is to put everyone in muggle clothes because robes are impractical.

Chapter 1

Evan and Regulus were not in the habit of spending much time in the Slytherin common room. Their time at Hogwarts was fraught with stress and tension and there were two main mindsets that battled for control amongst the Slytherins. Although both boys had their own opinions on the matter, neither were particularly inclined to share them or engage in the petty arguments of their classmates. Regulus preferred to focus on Quidditch and Evan on dueling. Evan, initially tentative and hesitant in his dueling skills, had made great strides in the past couple of years. He felt confident now that he could take on some of the most powerful wizards alive and stand his own. Regulus, for his part, had always been confident in his skills on the pitch. Regulus had always been confident about everything.

Today, however, Regulus had abandoned the dorm in favor of studying in the common room, occasionally looking over at the curly haired girl on the couch by the fire talking loudly to her friends. Evan thought she was making a complete ass out of herself, but Regulus kept smiling and smirking at her. Evan sighed and walked over to the table where his friend was sitting, resigning himself to an evening of trying to do school work while Regulus flirted with the women of Slytherin. "Hey."

"Hello," Regulus replied, not looking away from the girl. "How are you?"

Evan shrugged. "I'm alright, I suppose. Do we have to be in the common room?"

Regulus looked over at him. "Certainly not. You're free to go wherever you please, Evan. Don't let me stop you."

Evan made a face. "I'm not just going to sit up there alone. Besides, you were going to help me with Charms."

"Yes, well I am not certain I can help you with your charms. They've been desperately lacking for years."

"You're so amusing, Reg."

Regulus flashed a smile at him. "I know. It's one of my charms."

Evan rolled his eyes. "Can you just help me with this essay?"

"Sure, sure, sure. Here. Just copy mine."

Evan set to work copying the facts of Regulus' essay while trying to put it into his own words and make it of believable quality for the student stumbling through Charms for the past six years. It was a delicate balance between getting an acceptable grade and getting a grade that wouldn't raise eyebrows, a balance that Evan had become skilled at over the years. However, it was difficult to do when his thinking had to compete with the giggling girls by the fire.

"You can't possibly like those idiots…"

"I hang around you. You're an idiot."

Evan didn't even bother to respond. Regulus was hard to read and Evan had never quite been able to tell whether he was kidding when he put Evan down or if he actually thought Evan was beneath him. It didn't much matter either way. Regulus exuded an air of superiority that was due to the young heir of the House of Black and most people felt inferior around him, whether he meant them to or not. He didn't mean any harm by it, he just naturally put people in their place. Evan was used to it by now.

Regulus nudged Evan, still looking at the girls, not even attempting to be subtle. "What are your thoughts on Caldwell?"

"Oh you cannot be serious. She's a moron. And a mudblood."

Regulus looked at him in mock hurt. "Of course I'm not Sirius. I'm Regulus. Can't you tell?"

"Really, Regulus, you're just killing it today with your overdone humor."

"You're just jealous. But Caldwell. She's pretty. Brains and blood status don't matter when you've got a face like hers."

"Brains and blood status always matter. And she makes a public fool out of herself on a regular basis. No one would respect you ever again. You'd be better off with French."

"I simply cannot imagine a world in which no one respected me because I found some girl attractive. And French is better looking and has better blood, but she is no less of a fool."

"Well two out of three is better than zero out of three, isn't it?"

"Indeed. I am led to believe, however, that French has a preference for the ladies."

Evan raised his eyebrows. "French? Really? I thought she slept with half the boys in our year."

"That doesn't mean she doesn't prefer women, Evan," Regulus replied, talking to Evan as though he was a five year old child. "I heard it from Caldwell that she flirts with men for propriety's sake."

"She acts like a slut for propriety's sake? That makes a lot of sense."

"Well, it does. You know how it is, pureblood families like ours tend towards the traditional. She has to at least make an effort to pretend she likes men."

"And quite an effort she has made."

"Really, you have to admire her dedication to the illusion."

"Do you though? Most people don't."

"Well I do. I respect her ability to walk that line between making a mockery out of her good name and living the life she wants. She pushes the envelope just enough to be interesting, not enough to be an idiot."

"So you are interested in her?"

"But she's not interested in me. Did I not just say that? Do try to keep up."

"Apparently it doesn't matter though, right? Because she'll sleep with you for propriety's sake."

"Really, Evan, I expected better from you. Why on Earth would I sleep with a girl that I knew didn't actually want me? What fun is that for either of us?"

"I don't see why it wouldn't be fun for you."

Regulus sighed and shot Evan a cold look. "If you enjoy raping young women, Rosier, I'm sure it would be right up your alley."

Evan blushed. "That's not what I meant! I mean, she wouldn't say no. It's not like you have to force her. It's her choice if she wants to do something she doesn't like, why should that be on me?"

"Ah. Evan," Regulus replied, patting his friend on the head. "You poor, sweet virgin boy. Sex is a two way street. One day, when you're a big boy, you'll learn that it's best to utilize both sides of the road. Otherwise it's a boring trip."

"Oh fuck off, Regulus. Just because I don't go around oggling girls all day doesn't mean I don't know anything about them."

Regulus laughed. "Really, do enlighten me then. Tell me about these girls you've had that are eager for a selfish man."

"You'd be surprised how many people show interest in a selfish self-important ass," Evan grumbled. Truth be told, he did not know much about women, but he knew enough about the curve of his friend's lips when he smirked with superiority and the rise of his shoulder when he shrugged off Evan's feelings and concerns to make that statement with certainty.

Regulus raised his eyebrows. "Are you trying to call me selfish?"

"Are you denying it?"

"Caldwell!"

The curly haired girl turned away from her friends to look over at them. "What do you want, Black?"

"Am I a self-important, selfish ass?"

"Good god, yes."

Regulus laughed. "Good. That's settled then."

"Well, happy to be of service," Caldwell responded, rolling her eyes and turning back to her friends. Across the room, Nott narrowed his eyes in an accusatory fashion at Regulus. Regulus smiled at him haughtily, crossing his arms across his chest, daring Nott to comment. This was why Evan preferred to stay out of the common room. Besides the noise and general irritations that a group of his peers provided, there was inevitably some kind of face off centered around purity of blood and Regulus almost always put himself in the center of it, seemingly inadvertantly.

"What does that mudblood's opinion matter to you, Black?" Nott sneered.

"I don't believe I asked your opinion, Nott."

"Oh, I didn't realize I had to humbly ask your permission to speak, your majesty."

Evan sighed. This was not going to end well. If there was one surefire way to set Regulus off, it was to mockingly refer to him as "your majesty". Sure enough, Regulus' jaw clenched and the temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees as he glared at Nott and almost whispered, "Well I do apologize that you weren't deemed important enough to be included in the memo. But, as a matter of fact, you do."

"Not everyone here thinks you're so important just because you're a Black. We all know how your brother turned out. And you're certainly not proving yourself worthy of the name by consorting with mudblood trash," he replied, gesturing towards Caldwell, who was sitting speechlessly watching their back and forth.

"You are proving your lack of manners by bringing up my family's business. Honestly, Nott, were you raised by wolves? Surely you can find a better way to insult me than by bringing up the indiscretions of my former brother."

"You can call him what you like, Black, we all know he's your blood and he's dragged your good name in the mud. Pardon me if I don't stand on ceremony for you after that."

"Your mistake, Nott. My family will always be in better standing than yours, and you'd do well to remember that. My loyalty to my family has never been questioned by anyone who truly matters, and having a civil discussion with my housemates, regardless of blood status, hardly contradicts that." He turned back to the girl by the fire. "My apologies for his behavior, Caldwell. Nott clearly missed out when his parents taught him manners."

Caldwell opened her mouth to respond when the blonde girl sitting next to her spoke up, "It's not like you're any better, Black. You can hide behind politeness, but you think just as little of her as Nott does."

"While I may share some of Nott's crudely worded opinions, I do not see that as a reason to put down your friend, Casielle, or you, or refuse to engage in conversation with you. If you think I'm just as bad as him, well that it is your opinion to hold, mistaken as it may be."

When Regulus had finished, Caldwell started giggling. Her blonde friend stared at her, but she just shook her head and continued to laugh. Regulus smiled winningly at her, gave another haughty look to Nott, and returned to his schoolwork. Evan sighed, and got up. "Thanks for the essay, Reg. I'm heading up to the dorms."

Regulus shrugged as Evan walked away before tensions broke again and he had to watch Regulus fight everyone and flirt with the mudblood bitch simultaneously.