i - age nine

It had been stupid, Crow knows that now. But Jack had stuck his nose in the air and triple-dared Crow to climb onto the roof of the house, something that Crow simply couldn't allow to slide past. Even when Yusei's face scrunched into a worried sort of frown that plainly said he thought the whole thing was a bad idea Crow still shimmied out their bedroom window. Intent on proving to Jack just how brave he was.

Then his foot slipped and he overbalanced. Tumbling backwards into space and the last thing he remembers seeing is just how scared both Jack and Yusei looked.

He winds up with his arm broken in two places and Martha lectures all three of them soundly (although Crow most of all because he certainly wasn't about to say that the whole thing was Jack's idea.) About how dangerous and foolhardy that was and, "If you hadn't landed in those bushes you would have cracked your skull wide open, Crow. I hope to god you realize that."

Crow avoids meeting her eyes and nods contritely even though he knows that's probably not good enough because even with every stupid thing he's ever done (every stupid thing Jack has convinced him to do) and gotten in trouble for, he's never seen Martha this flat out furious before. His lower lip starting to tremble slightly no matter how much he bites it, no matter how hard he wills the tears away and before he can stop himself he's crying. Because his whole body hurts (but especially his arm) and Martha keeps frowning at him and what if she decides that enough is enough? What if she sends him away? She's not his mother, she just takes care of him, she could send him to be looked after by someone else if he's too much trouble and then he would never see Jack or Yusei again and….

"Oh, Crow. Shhh…. It's all right." Martha's voice a low murmur as she sighs and pulls him into a careful hug, one hand running gently over his hair while Crow sobs against her shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I'm really, really, sorry. Don't make me go away. I'll be good now. I promise."

"Send you away?" A slight frown creases Martha's brow and she gently makes Crow look her in the eye. "What gave you an idea like that?"

"Cause…." Crow pauses long enough to wipe the arm that isn't currently in a bulky cast across his face, letting out a loud sniffle. "Cause I'm always in trouble. And you're not really my mother so you don't have to take care of me and…."

"Crow, listen to me. No matter how much trouble you get in, I will never send you away. I promise. Even after you're all grown up and go out on your own, you can always come back."

"But… you were so mad…."

"I was upset because you scared me," Martha replies simply, giving Crow's cheek a gentle pat. "When I saw you lying there I thought you'd broken your neck. Now you promise me, Crow, never go climbing up there again. All right?"

"Kay. Promise."

ii - age thirteen

It's while trying to avoid Jack and Yusei (who are just getting weird with each other) that Crow finds them. A group of older kids hanging out in a junky warehouse, smoking and drinking and who knows what else, and Crow lifts his chin and walks right in like he belongs there. Half-expecting to get punched or laughed at or both and definitely expecting to be run off.

A few of them snicker and point, but no one makes him leave and he lurks around the edges for a while, trying to look cool, before one of the boys grins and offers him a drink that makes him choke and sputter and, most importantly, feel way more grown up than Jack and Yusei.

He starts hanging out there every day and after a while Yusei starts frowning whenever he heads off on his own, looking like he wants to say something. Crow entirely ready to try out one of those new words he's learned from his new friends if Yusei ever does dare to open his mouth. But the protest never comes, just that constant frown of concern (from Yusei and Jack eventually) that is getting harder and harder to ignore.

He barely remembers the night that it happens. Just that he skulked off to the warehouse early in the afternoon and Dagg kept handing him drinks and by the time the sun went down he could barely see straight. Stumbling down the street with a few of the guys and that damn Security D-wheel had been left so temptingly unattended.

And Crow has always wondered just what it would feel like to ride one.

It's just like flying… for the thirty seconds he manages to last before careening into a dumpster.

The next thing he knows he's in a tiny cell, swiftly sobering up and everything hurts. Crow no longer feeling daring and grown up, just cold and afraid and there is nothing he wants more than to go home. Wants to curl up in bed and let Martha fuss over him and bring him warm milk and listen to her tell the story about the Daedalus Bridge again, just like whenever he hurt himself when he was small. Finding it difficult to swallow against the bitter lump of tears forming in the back of his throat, but Crow is damned if he's going to start crying here.

It feels like days before a Security officer with a stone jaw and frozen eyes shows up to cuff him and pull him out of the cell, all but dragging him down a dingy hallway and Crow almost does start crying when he spots Martha talking with another officer. Because she'll make it right, Martha always knows how to make it right. A (desperately) hopeful smile touching his lips.

Until Martha turns to face him and looks him square in the eye, her expression pinched and there is so much plain and simple disappointment there that Crow has to look away.

"I'm going to take you home now," her voice low and even as she speaks and it terrifies him. "And you're not going to leave there until your trial."

"Trial?" Crow not sure how he manages to croak out even that single word given how dry his mouth goes.

"Actions have consequences, Crow. You're more than old enough to know that. I just hope this will be enough for you to remember."

iii - age fourteen

Everything is awkward after his time in the detention facility. Jack and Yusei trying far too hard to not stare at the glaring marker on his forehead, and maybe he makes it worse by gelling his hair straight up. Not taking the slightest bit of effort to make it less noticeable and all but daring the world to say something about it.

He does stick closer to home, though. Back to hanging around with Jack and Yusei despite the awkwardness and they accept him back without comment, even if they are closer to each other now than they'll ever be to him (and he's walked in on them kissing once or twice, swiftly retreating before they know he's there and the whole thing just makes him feel like even more of an interloper.)

It's two months after his fourteenth birthday when they meet Kiryu Kyosuke for the first time and Crow dislikes him on sight. Because he's older than them and arrogant and reminds Crow far too much of those kids from the warehouse with his too-smooth smiles and promises of how things could be better. Promises that Crow refuses to allow himself to believe in.

Except Kiryu is nothing like them. Every promise he makes he throws himself into keeping, into making it happen, and despite himself Crow starts believing. And when Kiryu aims a smile in his direction (which really isn't quite as slick as Crow initially thought) Crow's stomach flips and twists a little and he can't help but smile back twice as bright.

The night they plan to make a play for their first zone Kiryu says that maybe a decoy would make it easier for the rest to get the drop on their opponents, Crow not hesitating at all before piping up, "I'll do it."

"You're sure?"

"Positive. I'll be fine. Head on against Crow the Bullet-sama? They won't know what hit 'em."

Jack frowns, Yusei looks worried, but Kiryu smiles and claps him on the shoulder. Crow beaming back, his heart kicking triple-time in his chest.

In the end, the plan doesn't go quite as smoothly as they hoped. Crow heads in, the perfect distraction, but the others are late. There being more resistance on the outside than they'd gambled on, not that Crow knows about this. His main concern being the booted feet that keep slamming into his ribs, over and over again.

When the rest of Team Satisfaction finally makes it; when Crow stops covering his head and looks up, meeting Kiryu's eyes, the look he sees there is murderous. And in that moment Crow wonders why the hell he ever compared Kiryu to those assholes he hung around with last year. Because Kiryu is nothing like them. Kiryu won't bail the instant there's a hint of trouble, he'll dive in and fight to protect those closest to him.

And Crow decides then and there that he'll do the same.

iv - age fifteen

Crow knows better than to get on Security's bad side. He's been there once, has the marker to prove it, and he doesn't ever want to go there again.

But there are those kids that follow him around, and sometimes it's tough scrounging up enough cash to keep all those little mouths fed and occasionally desperate actions must be taken. But he's usually good enough to keep himself out of trouble while he does it. Usually….

Usually, but not tonight. Tonight there are sirens wailing, the sound occasionally lost under cracks of thunder, and he's running along rain-slick streets as if his life depends on it.

His freedom does, at the very least.

He screams when he slams headlong into a soggy body. Screams and winds up to throw a punch, the instinctive reaction stopped by a strong hand grabbing his wrist and a shout of, "Crow, it's me!" that cuts through his haze of panic like a knife.

Kiryu. Kiryu will be there for him, even if he shouldn't be. And he'll have a plan. He always does.

"Head for our spot, okay? I'll try to divert them then meet you there."

Their spot. Their spot to sneak off together and just thinking about it sends a quick flush to Crow's cheeks even as he shakes his head.

"You shouldn't…." Crow's voice chokes off momentarily as he gasps for breath. "You shouldn't get involved. They'll lock you up for aiding and abetting."

"There's no way in hell I'm throwing you to the wolves. Trust me, all right? Go."

"But…." Crow's protest stopping dead as he catches a glimpse of something out of the corner of his eye and that cold wave of panic comes rushing back as he spots a Security officer running up the alley towards them.

"No buts. Run!" Kiryu pausing only long enough to plant a quick kiss on Crow's forehead, right over that damn marker that probably led Security right to them, before giving him a shove in the opposite direction.

And Crow is too terrified to do anything but listen. Hoping against hope that Kiryu will make it out okay.

v - age seventeen

Just like the first time, it's Martha who comes to bail Crow out. Her eyes sad and she shakes her head even as he smiles with false bravado. Because god knows the way she looks at him makes Crow feel about five years old all over again.

"You're getting quite a collection of those," she sighs, lightly tapping one of the markers on his cheek and Crow forces himself to not flinch back. "Where on earth are they going to put another one?"

"I dunno. I'm sure they'll find a spot. They always do."

"Theft again?"

"Yea. Um… the kids?..."

"I'll take care of them, don't worry. I told you, there's always a place for you and yours. No matter what." Martha frowning for a moment before continuing, "You really should stop doing this."

"Once my D-wheel's done, then I'll stop." Crow knowing the words for the lie they are the instant they leave his lips. Because even after the D-wheel is done there will always be something else. Something the kids need. If anything he just needs to stop getting caught. Which will definitely happen once he gets that D-wheel together.

All he has to do is survive the worst again. And he's been doing that for years.