Title: Time and Love
Rating: R for subject matter and violence
Setting: Canon Manga – about one year after book 12
Pairings: EirixShuichi
Warnings: VIOLENCE, mature themes, ANGST, discussion of rape
Summary: K could only think of one reason the pink-haired man would be so horrifically afraid of anyone. The thought made K's stomach twist in agony.

It had been a nice dinner. Eiri and Shuichi didn't fight their way through the night. Instead, they behaved civilly, respecting and even supporting each other's opinions.

Hiro couldn't help but smile to himself. They author and the singer had been together for about three years now, and had both matured into their relationship. The days of disrespect, anger and fear were long gone. Now they were a truly loving couple, even though they still avoided kissing and cuddling each other in public. You could see the reverence and adoration for each other in their eyes and actions.

Everyone had spent the night laughing through stories of childhood mishaps and concert blunders. It was rare that they could all get together for dinner, so they always made sure to make the most of every moment when they could.

K had been forced to leave his guns in his car, his reputation preceding him into the restaurant. Tohma and Mika laughed nervously while the American placed firearm after firearm into the trunk of his car. Hiro and Suguru stood back away from the massive heat K had unloaded, unwilling to chance an unexpected discharge.

After finishing their dinners, the group walked out of the restaurant and towards the parking lot. Shuichi was where he could normally be found when his lover was around – hanging happily off his arm. Mika couldn't help but smile. It was as if the Eiri of their childhood had finally felt secure enough to return, albeit slowly. Not that the old Eiri was gone – he was still there, rearing that angry head of his every now and then. But the new Eiri, the soft-hearted lover, was much stronger and happier.

K was the first to notice the change in Shuichi's current demeanor. Although the singer continued to walk next to Eiri, he'd stopped giggling at everything surrounding them. He'd also begun to walk hunched over which was very unusual for the genki young man. Shuichi always carried himself tall, with pride and self-assuredness. Rarely did anything cower him.

Eiri didn't notice it until Shuichi's grip on him became vice-like.

"That hurts! What's your problem, brat?" Eiri stopped short and looked down at Shuichi. He noticed the same changes that K did, and instantly realized something was unbearably wrong with his lover. "Shu-chan?"

Instead of answering, Shuichi turned and buried himself into Eiri's side. He shook from head to toe and his breathing became rapid and hitched, and his eyes were wide and glossy, remaining focused forward. When Eiri followed his gaze, it came to rest on a group of men about 15 feet in front of them. Not recognizing any of them, he turned back to Shuichi.

Hiro walked up next to his friend and placed his hand on Shuichi's shoulder. Instead of welcoming the touch, Shuichi jumped and let out a raspy strangled scream. He began clawing at Eiri, almost as if he were trying to climb into a pouch.

"Shuichi, what's wrong?" Eiri was getting more and more worried. In all the time they'd been together, he'd never seen his lover react this way. Everyone had sensed Shuichi's extreme distress and gathered around him in support.

K stared at the group of men, most of whom had begun to move off in the opposite direction. Two began walking towards them, the larger man staring at Shuichi with a strange look in his eye. 'This man is dangerous,' K thought as he came closer and closer to their little huddle. He wished in vain that he had kept at least one gun on his body.

Hiro was still in shock over Shuichi's reaction to his touch. In all the years they'd known each other, Shuichi had never shied away from him. Even when in his deepest distress, all Hiro had to do was reach out and the singer would melt into his embrace. They had been a source of comfort for one another for as far back as they could remember, and knowing that his touch was not soothing for Shuichi distressed him greatly.

K was on high alert as the two men came within a few feet of his singer. Shuichi was obviously bothered by this person, and K could only think of one reason the pink-haired man would be so horrifically afraid of anyone. The thought made K's stomach twist in agony. He purposely moved to place himself between the stranger and Shuichi, hoping he would pass without incident.

His hope was not to be realized.

"Hey, don't I know you?" The stranger mumbled, staring as the singer huddled between his protective friends while trying harder to hide himself in Eiri's coat and arms. "Oh yeah! I remember you!"

He continued walking by, seeming to deem the conversation unworthy of continuing. Just as K began to relax, he heard five words call back to them.

These five words bit through everyone like a knife. Five words changed all their lives in a moment. Five words brought out the protector in Eiri as nothing in his past ever had.

"Tell Taki I said hello."

Without a moment's hesitation, Eiri pushed his lover away from his body and into his sister's arms. Her mother's instinct taking over, she wrapped herself around the trembling singer and held him tight, fighting against his struggling.

Tohma and Suguru watched in horror as three of their companions moved towards the stranger with deadly intention in every step.

K reached him first. The rapist didn't have a moment to react as he was grabbed by the shoulders and violently turned around to meet Eiri's ferocious gaze. Hiro moved past them and set up a barrier between the stranger's companion and Shuichi's protectors.

Eiri's fist connected with the man's face, tearing the skin on his knuckles against teeth as they shattered. The punch was immediately followed by a second and a third, leaving behind a broken jaw and eye-socket.

Eiri's entire body shook with anger, while another emotion moved through him simultaneously. He began to speak, realizing his words were in protection of both his lover and himself. He'd never had an opportunity to confront the men that had raped him. Chances were he never would, but confronting Shuichi's attacker like this made him feel as if they stood in front of him.

He reigned his fists in and screamed, "How could you? He was just a child! You didn't know him! He'd never done anything to you! How could you find such pleasure in ruining a perfect stranger's life?" Was he talking about Shuichi? Was he talking about himself? It didn't matter in the end. They were one and the same when it came to this.

He was afraid. His soul shook in anguish knowing that this beast before him had touched, had hurt his love. Just the sight of him had caused Shuichi to go nearly catatonic, and Eiri felt the murderer within rise to the surface. He wanted to feel this man's blood flow through his fingers. He wanted to hear his bones snap under his grip. He wanted to know this man burned in hell for the rest of eternity.

His lover was such a beautiful spirit. Shuichi was light and love, surrounding him every day and healing his broken heart and mind. That beauty had been injured by this man, and it was a crime Eiri couldn't forgive. How many nights had Shuichi woken them up with a scream and sweat-soaked sheets from the nightmares that still plagued him? How many times did Eiri see slight fear flash quickly through Shuichi's eyes when they indulged in rough sex?

He started raining blows down on the stranger again, moving down to focus on his stomach. Eiri felt a rib crack and give way under his fist, satisfaction rising in him. Another blow to the other side, another rib cracked.

The man began spitting blood into the air and Eiri's face and clothes were splashed with the sticky red fluid. It didn't slow his attack down; instead, the smell of copper in the air spurred him more.

The friend took a step forward as if to help the rapist, but the look of death in Hiro's eye made him think twice. He turned tail and ran away, putting as much distance between him and them as possible. Hiro turned back to K and Eiri and took up on the left side of the stranger. He helped K hold the man steady as Eiri pummeled him into unconsciousness.

It was enough, but Eiri's rage hadn't dissipated. Both of his friends knew that if they didn't stop the attack, the man would end up dead. While Tohma could help to cover up a beating, a murder could not be so easily dealt with.

K nodded to Hiro and placed the man completely in his arms. Reaching out carefully, the American caught Eiri's next punch with his hand and pulled the novelist away from his prey. Eiri struggled against him, but K was bigger and stronger and wrapped him in a tight restraining embrace.

Eiri knew he couldn't kill the rapist and relaxed into K's hold. 'It's enough,' he told himself over and over again, watching as Hiro dragged the man to an alley and dumped him into the dark shadows.

The three of them quickly walked back to Shuichi's side, Eiri wiping some of the blood off his face and hands with a pocket-handkerchief. Shuichi was still trembling violently as the tears coursed down his face in wide tracks. Mika had him in a tight grip while Tohma stood behind him, blocking Shuichi's view of the beating as it took place. Suguru stood facing the wall with his face in his hands, unable to handle the distress of his friend and bandmate.

Taking his lover from Mika's arms, Eiri wrapped himself around him. They sunk to the ground holding each other tight. Their friends turned their backs to them giving them much needed privacy and shielding them from any prying eyes. Eiri cooed words of love and protection into Shuichi's ears that only he could hear, reassuring him that he was safe.

"He's gone. He'll never hurt you again. I'll always be at your side, and I'll never let anyone touch you. You're mine, and I'll always protect you. I love you, everything's over now. I love you. I love you. I love you."

The sobs finally broke out of the younger man's body. Seeing his rapist again had thrown him back into that horrible night. He could feel the man touch him. He felt as his chewed fingernails dragged across his skin, scratching and tearing him open. He tasted his slimy tongue as it probed into his mouth. He could feel his body split in two as the man entered him, viciously raping him bloody.

Eiri didn't expect Shuichi to calm down right away. He knew this kind of shock would torment his lover for a long time to come, so he lifted Shuichi into his arms and began carrying him to the car.

Hiro reached out tentatively and stroked the back of Shuichi's hand. The singer finally recognized his best friend, reaching out to grasp at him for strength and love.

When they reached the car, Tohma pulled the keys from Eiri's coat pocket and opened the passenger side. Eiri laid Shuichi down gently, stroking the tears from his face and placing gentle comforting kisses on his cheeks. The singer hiccupped as he cried, and suddenly bolted from the safety of the car.

His legs weren't strong enough to hold him and he crumpled to the ground quickly. Unable to control himself, his dinner came up and splashed on the pavement beneath him. Both Eiri and Hiro dropped to their knees, one on either side, and placed their hands on the besieged singer. They wanted their love and concern to give Shuichi a place to ground himself, but his body rebelled against him to strongly at the moment.

Eiri pulled Shuichi's hair back, making sure to keep contact with the singer at all times. Both he and Hiro whispered in Shuichi's ears, telling him that he was safe and that it was okay to cry.

Shuichi gripped at his stomach as he continued to heave. Once all his dinner was out of him, his body continued to painfully convulse, dry heaving until he felt he would pass out from the ache.

Eiri remembered reacting the same way to his own rape and the murder that followed. Tohma had held and comforted him as he vomited over and over and over again, until he felt as if his stomach would be ripped from his body. Watching his dearest love suffer so horribly brought tears to his eyes. Eiri refused to let them fall. Right now he needed to be strong for Shuichi; there would be time for them to hold and cry with each other later.

The tremors began to recede and Eiri pulled Shuichi close into his arms. Mika took some tissues out of a box in Eiri's car and handed them to her brother. Eiri used them to wipe the tears and bile away from Shuichi's face, cleaning him as best he could. The two of them and Hiro had all been splashed by Shuichi's vomit, but it didn't matter. Their focus was exclusively on the singer.

Eiri lifted Shuichi once again and placed him back into the car. When he tried to move away and walk to the driver's side door, Shuichi reached out and grabbed a hold of him. His grip was strong, and Eiri knew he couldn't deny his lover the comfort and touch he so desperately needed, even if only for a moment.

"I'll drive," Hiro stated and walked to the other side of the car, settling in behind the wheel. Eiri slid in and placed Shuichi into his lap, mouthing a 'thank you' to K, Tohma, Mika and Suguru, before closing the door.

The four of them stood and watched as Hiro drove the luxury car out of the parking lot and onto the street.

Shuichi's mind relived his gang rape over and over again. He saw the eyes of that man stare into his as he was hit and manhandled. Meeting him here on the street was as painful as the actual rape itself.

Over all the years that had past, Shuichi had built up an image of his rapists in his mind. The men that had taken him had been reworked over and over until they had become inhuman monsters, not simply men. To see that monster walk in front of him nearly broke his mind. This person wasn't a mythical fiend that couldn't really exist in the world – he was a man, flesh and blood. He was real. He existed. He stood merely feet away from him, and spoke to him in a language he could understand. Shuichi's walls and his illusions had shattered in that one moment.

They drove the rest of the way in a silence that was broken only by the occasional sobs that still wracked through the singer's body. Hiro pulled into the parking space and shut off the car.

"Do you want me to come in with you?"

Eiri nodded and walked behind the guitarist with his precious bundle in his arms. They walked into the apartment and Hiro closed and locked the door behind them, creating a barrier between Shuichi and the outside worlds.

Eiri led them directly to the bedroom where he placed Shuichi on the bed. "Stay with him for a moment?"

Hiro didn't even need to be asked. He sat down with his friend and pulled the smaller man into his arms. Shuichi was weak and worn, but he slumped into Hiro's embrace and felt his breathing become slightly steadier.

Deep inside, Eiri was furious that Hiro was with them in the sanctity of their bedroom. But this wasn't about sex or possession. It was about Shuichi and his need to heal from this tragedy. Eiri understood the strong bond of friendship between his lover and the guitarist, and would deny Shuichi nothing if it would help him to recover. That included having Hiro here, even if only for a few minutes.

Eiri walked into the bathroom and ran his hands under cold water. Blood swirled down the drain as he cleaned his wounds. His knuckles were torn to shreds and his hands had begun to swell from the damage. Eiri watched the blood make patterns in the cold water as it drained away from him.

When he looked in the mirror, he saw the blood splattered across his face. His eyes were rimmed red and his skin was pale in color. Taking a washcloth, Eiri cleaned himself as best he could. His clothes were ruined, so he pulled his coat and shirt off, throwing both into the corner. His pants were then removed, and Eiri slipped into the yukata he kept hanging on the back of the bathroom door.

Shuichi closed his eyes and snuggled into Hiro's protective embrace. He couldn't keep his eyes closed for long though; every time it became dark, flashes of his attack would play like an old movie on the back of his eyelids. Even being held by his best friend wasn't as comforting as it could have been.

Hiro had held him the first time around while he'd cried, unable to understand why everything had happened. Holding him again this time, while making him feel safe on some levels, also made the singer relive more and more of those horrible memories. The days that had followed his rape were some of the most difficult days in his life. He'd tried to disband Bad Luck, pulled his lover from the lounge where he'd been pummeling Ma-kun, cross-dressed in an attempt to win back Eiri's love, and been dumped. He didn't want to experience any of those horrible situations again.

Eiri emerged from the bathroom with bandaged hands and walked to his side of the bed. "Thanks for your help, I've got him now. You can either take my car and go home or sleep in the guest room. Either way, I want you to leave our bedroom."

Hiro released Shuichi's grip on him and passed his best friend into the arms of his lover. He went into the guest bathroom and began cleaning the blood and vomit from his clothes. When finished, Hiro leaned his head against the back of the bathroom door and stood in silent contemplation, focusing on the sound of his breathing.

Eiri had brought a warm washcloth with him and cleaned his lover's face. He stripped Shuichi and then wrapped him in a soft T-shirt.

Shuichi's breathing began to calm as he was held. A cocoon of safety and love had wrapped around him in the form of Eiri, and a small light entered the singer's mind.

It would hurt.

They would be scared and unsure and upset.

But they would recover.

He knew this without a doubt. It would just take time and love.

Owari

Thanks AshCat, for your help, as always!