Renee was without a doubt the scariest woman on Wisteria Lane. When she wanted to, she could outclass Bree, outwit Lynette, or out-manipulate Gabby. Hell, if she were still alive, maybe she could even out-slut Edie Britt. The only woman on the lane who she couldn't outdo in some way was Susan Delfino, and that was because Renee and Susan were complete and total opposites.
"She's so...so nice," Renee had remarked to Lynette once when they were alone. "Sorry, but being nice just is not a quality that I admire in people. I mean, come on! Anybody can do that."
"Anybody but you, apparently," said Lynette.
"I can be nice if I want to!" said Renee. "Remember the time that I babysat for Paige for you?"
"And paid some random waitress to watch her?" said Lynette. "I really wouldn't remind me of that if I were you."
Renee thought about that for a second. "You know what? Let's go get something to drink."
And yet right now, Susan was the one holding her hair out of the way as she worshipped the porcelain god. "Will you lock the front door so Lynette doesn't come inside?" whined Renee.
"It's already locked," said Susan.
"Then close the window so she doesn't see me," said Renee.
Susan sighed. "This room doesn't have a window."
"Oh, god," mumbled Renee as she pulled herself up using the side of the sink and flushed the toilet. "Make sure my head is covered while I walk home, okay?"
"Are you sure you wouldn't rather just stay the night?" said Susan.
"I don't want Mike and MJ to tell Lynette that I'm here," said Renee.
"They're on a camping trip," said Susan. If they weren't, Mike would probably be making fun of her for being so nice yet again. But it was okay. She knew it was one of the things he loved about her.
"Okay," said Renee. "I'll stay. Thanks."
"No problem," said Susan. "Come here, you can sleep on the couch."
"It's not Lynette's couch is it?" asked Renee.
Susan sighed. "Nope. It's mine. Why are you so obsessed with Lynette not seeing you, anyway?"
Renee sighed as she stumbled into the livingroom. "She knows that I only get drunk after being rejected."
"Oh," said Susan. "I'm sorry."
"And then she'd figure out that it was Tom," mumbled Renee as she sat down.
Susan half-dropped Renee onto the couch. "WHAT?"
"I thought that maybe, finally, since he isn't the same person anymore...since he's so materialistic now..." mumbled Renee. "But now. He said he coudn't do it to Lynette." Renee closed her eyes and yawned. "He's still in love with her, dammit." Then she was out cold.