Written for 123Quarter's "Untold Stories" Challenge.

J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.

So I started this approximately two years but I'm coming back to this to finish it) XD So, editing everything I've written and then writing a bunch more chapters... Don't judge my ninth-grade words too much, lol... Eh.

Day One

Hello, my name is Theo Nott, and this is my journal. Well, it's pretty much a diary. But journal sounds more masculine and macho, just like I am... Diary, however, would probably annoy people a lot more. Not that anyone else is going to read this. I'll put a charmed lock on it or something.

If you're not me, and you're reading this, DIE. Or at least kill me before you show this to anyone else- please...

Anyway. Today was a pretty average day. I roughed up a few second years and annoyed Draco to the point that he tried to hex me- Merlin, that was fun. What else did I do? Let me think for a moment... I sarcastically told Dumbledore he had a nice hair-do, which he honestly doesn't. Oh, and I had a little conversation with my darling Pansy Parkinson. I just love that chick, from the alliteration in her name to the zippers on those sexy black boots she wears whenever we go to Hogsmeade. Get it? 'Cause allliteration starts with a and zippers begins with Z, so it's like A-Z...

So, yeah. She's pretty damn awesome.

You see, I was in the common room before, and so was Pansy- she was sitting on one of the emerald-green couches and studying history, and I was sitting at a table near her and trying to study history. She's good at studying- I'm not. So, to further increase my knowledge of magical history- and my knowledge of my beloved soul mate- I said to her, "Yo, Parkinson, want to come over here and help me study? 'Cause I don't get any of this stuff."

And then she, my darling Slytherin friend, looked up at me with those beautiful light eyes and said the most sticking-to-your-brain comment she'd said that day (also the only one). She said, "Yeah, because everyone knows that you really want to 'study'." She made quote marks with her fingers to emphasize the last word. And then she kind of turned my smile upside-down when she turned to me again and said, "And if you ever wanted to 'study'-" again with the emphasis, "- you might try not wearing that awful man-perfume. Was it made of flowers and crap mixed up by first years, or do you just like smelling like a baboon all the time?"

Out of lack of things to say, I replied, "Baboons rock!" and swiftly strode back up to the boy's dormitory, our guy-cave.

Note to self: ask Draco what kind of man-perfume- I mean cologne!- he uses. Whatever he used back when he dated Pansy, anyway.

-Theo.