Okay, real fast, I want you to imagine ALL of Snape's lines in an Alan Rickman voice. Please, I don't care what you do for the other ones. Make Draco sound like Ron for all I care, but make sure that Snape sounds like Alan Rickman. In your head. Do so. Enjoy.

"Ugh, I'm done!" I say to Draco. Why the hell is he holding the Mudblood's hand? What does she have?

"Pansy, we were never dating," Draco says, running his hand through his stupid blonde hair. The Mudblood looked at Draco with concern. Ugh.

"Fine. I don't care!" I say, stomping off toward the dungeon.

I walk into the common room, angry. I throw myself down on a sofa. Some first years stare at me and I shoot them a look. They look away frantically.

"Pansy?" Astoria asks, sitting down gracefully on the sofa I'm on. She puts an arm around my shoulder. "Is it Draco?" I just nod, trying not to cry, now. Astoria pats my shoulder.

"I have some firewhiskey for you. It'll take away the pain, love," she says, getting out a bottle of the stuff.

I look at her and take the bottle, smiling. "Thank you, Astoria."

Meanwhile, in Professor Lupin's office

"Severus, please, not tonight!" I say to him, rolling my eyes and grading papers.

"Lupin, I think you'd best listen. You have worked far," Snape drawls, looking at me with menacing eyes, "too hard and need a break. It's only a little firewhiskey, no need to get upset." Snape is challenging me, and I can sense it.

"Why do you think that?" I ask, exasperated.

"Because your hand is twitching," Snape says, making sure his consonants were perfect. I look at my hand. It twitches once more.

I grab the bottle out of his hand and give him a look, letting it run down my throat. I cough.

"I hate this stuff. I remember why," I say, rubbing the bridge of my nose.

"Just drink it, sir," Snape says walking out of my office. I shake my head. Ugh. It was too much. I drank more of it.

By have past ten, I was stumbling down the hall, looking for Snape. "Snape?" I slurred. "Dude, where you at?" I saw a figure down the hall way.

"You there! Stop!" I stumble down the hall, and see the figure in front of me. It's a girl.

"Lupin, get away from me!" she says. It was Parkinson.

"Where is Snape?"

"Gerroff me!"

"Where's Snape?" I yell. Then, I trip. I fall on top of her. I put my hands on her sides and she moans. I freeze, still drunk, and start pulling off her robes. She shakes her head and gets up, pulling me by the arm into a Prefects bathroom.

The next morning…

I rub my eyes and feel my head pounding. Oh, Astoria is going to be very very sorry. I turn my head to the side and feel my nose touch Professor Lupin's nose. Whoa, wait. Lupin?

"Professor?" I asked. His eyes opened and say me laying there. He closed his eyes and pulled me into his arms, and for the first time in a while, I felt whole.

In the Great Hall…

I sit down next to Astoria, who raises an eyebrow. I shake my head.

"Who'd you shag last night, Parkinson?" Crabbe asks, with a sneer worthy of Malfoy.

"Firewhiskey," I say, biting into my toast. Astoria laughs and Professor Snape shoots me a glare. Under his breath, I hear him say something.

"Oh, Merlin, help me."

A/N: Hey! Okay, this took forever because Pansy and Lupin? O.o Well, that's insane. But, it's done, and we can all smile and cheer. Did anyone listen and do this is an Alan Rickman voice? If you did, it makes Snape's character AWESOMER! Review 3