Time Stops When I'm With You
11x20 How To Save A Life / MerDer / What if that semi didn't crash into Derek's car and he made it to the airport in one piece and later comes home to Meredith and the kids and living their shiny, bubbly and happy life as a family? Because Meredith and Derek deserve a happy ending! *MerDerForever*
Meredith stared nervously at her cell phone.
She wanted it to be Derek calling her. It just has to be her Derek, McDreamy - a dream can't be dead.
That's what she holds onto.
She is not giving up hope yet. It wasn't over yet.
She wasn't ready to let him go just yet. He can't be dead ... He just can't ...
She really wanted it to be Derek who was telling her that he was now at the airport and waiting to board his flight. She's holding onto that. Clinging onto that little bit of hope she'd left. Derek still hasn't called. But she hasn't given up hope just yet. Derek was coming back, for her and for their family. He knows has something worth living for. He knows that, she was sure of that. Now she was sitting here, nervously.
She was scared, no terrified, of losing him forever.
'Cause, honestly, she had no idea how she can live in a world without him existing in it. As Bailey said it correctly, she had every freaking reason to think that the sky is falling, even if it isn't. She then pressed Derek's number and waited for him to pick up. But still, nothing. She sat on the sofa, with her cell phone in her hands and trying over and over again.
"Come on, Derek. I'm begging you to answer your phone." She yelled at her phone, keeping her volume low so that she wouldn't wake the children.
But it went straight to voicemail. "Come on Derek answer your freaking phone Derek." Meredith yelled at her phone, doubting that it would help matters. But she didn't care. Meredith anxiously and nervously waited for him to answer his phone but it went, like said before, to voicemail, even if she repeatedly called him. It was always the same, she was hearing his voicemail going on.
She then decided to leave another frantic, hysteric message on his mailbox, hoping he would answer - despite knowing that he won't be able to hear her message when his phone has been destroyed in whatever happened. She hoped that he made it to D.C. in one piece. She couldn't live without him, well, she could, but she doesn't want to. Also, separation is different than dying. Dying is final. Separation isn't.
She tried to think about happier times, like after Meredith found out that she was pregnant with Bailey. She had left about five other messages on his voicemail but still, no answer coming from Derek. Maybe she was freaking out over nothing, maybe she was. She would be glad over that.
Maybe Derek was in D.C., had his cell turned off and was now sitting in a boring meeting with the board members of the National Institutes of Health.
"Derek. Here's Meredith again. When you hear this message please contact me immediately. These people in D.C. say you never made it to your meeting. Please call and tell me you are somewhere safe and not ... Whatever happens, remember I love you." With that, Meredith ended the phone call. She was going crazy here. Oh, Derek. Please don't be dead or something, I need you to be alive. Meredith thought. #
Hours passed. Her gaze went to the clock.
It was five o'clock now, which meant she could start freaking out. Then, suddenly, there was someone ringing on the door. Meredith pictured policemen telling her Derek got killed in a plane crash or car accident.
For a slight moment, she tried to compose herself before getting up and heading to the front door.
Meredith and Derek were both lying in their bed, wide awake. "You want to go again?" He asked, panting. Meredith and Derek both smiled 'cause it was so damn good. Then they heard cries coming from their son, Meredith and Derek turned their heads in direction of Bailey's room. "I guess not, Bailey's up." Meredith said as she hears the cries of her youngest child.
"Oh." Derek said. "What if I cancel my flight …" Derek suggested, leaning towards Meredith, they were happy, they were a happy couple again ... "I could come to the hospital before I go to the airport and we could find an empty on-call room …" Derek smiled at her dreamingly. "I have work to do." Meredith replied smiling, not wanting to show him how much she actually liked that idea - even if it wasn't realizable. "Aw, you know as much as I like that idea, it's just not feasible, Derek. I have work to do at work and I can't do you too."
"Okay, then it's settled, let's could go again …"
He was ready to start, when Meredith loudly exclaimed: "No, you are terrible influence, absolutely not." With that she gets up, saying with determination in her voice: "We're getting up now." Derek looked at his absolutely hot wife. But Derek stayed in their bed, smiling to convince her to come join him … "I know." Meredith said smirking, eyeing that husband of hers.
"Why don't you make yourself useful and go change Bailey's diaper." Meredith's eyes sparkled when said that. "Uh-" Derek sighed when Meredith threw a Bailey's baby-phone at him. "And you are terrible." Meredith's voice slightly raised. She threw one of their pillows at him. Derek just laughed in reply, pushing the pillow away from him.
"Have fun changing your son's diaper." She mouthed.
"I am gonna go shower." She smiled at him, obviously trying to seduce him. And it worked. Derek shook his head chuckling while he watched his wife disappear for the bathroom. While he is the one to change Bailey's diapers when he could have joined Meredith in the shower which was far more appealing than changing dirty diapers – but hey, McDreamy, changing diapers is part of parenthood!
After Derek had changed Bailey's diapers he put his son in the high chair. Meredith already prepared the breakfast for their little one. It was carrots. Then Derek Shepherd walked into the kitchen, fully clothed.
"Have you seen my phone?" Derek asked as he walked into the kitchen. Meredith glanced at him while mothering Bailey, frowned and then she said: "Well, Derek, it's in your hand." She was pointing out the obvious but what she didn't know at the time that Derek didn't meant that phone, he meant the phone he got from the president. "Not this one. This one's mine, the government wants theirs back, I need to return it and I don't know where I put it." Derek explained the ongoing situation to Meredith. "Have you checked the couch cushions?" Meredith asked as she started searching for Derek's other phone.
While doing that, she called out for Zola: "Zola, hurry up honey or you won't have time to eat breakfast."
Then she asked Derek if he was nervous. "Are you nervous?" "Well, maybe I end up going to prison if I don't return the phone. I mean I don't go to prison for that, right?" He wanted his wife to reassure him that he won't go to prison even if he can't find the phone. "No, I meant resigning." She told him with a wide smile, unable to contain the happiness about Derek resigning and coming back to her and their kids and the dream-house that Derek built for their family to live in.
"I mean giving your job up isn't a small thing to do …"
She didn't complete the sentence.
"Oh it is …" Derek replied, still searching for the phone. "… in comparison to everything here, it is." Derek said reassuringly, while Bailey was face down in his food what nobody seemed to notice what Bailey was doing.
"But Derek …" Meredith tried to say something. "Meredith, I meet with the president's council in the morning and give them my final report and official accommodation and then I am done. I'll be home before you even know it." He said, coming toward her. She smiled at him, catching herself thinking, that this was too good to be true. Her husband, the love of her life was finally coming home.
"It's time. It feels good." He said, feeling relieved about the fact that he can go home to his wife, that isn't obligated to stay in Washington D.C.
It's unbelievably freeing – for both of them. He took a big sip of his coffee. "I just wish you could be home already." Meredith said longingly. "I know, I feel that feeling too. But you know, I'll be home before you know and then you know we'll have a lot you know, Starting-fresh-sex." Derek smiled at his wife. "Derek." Meredith scolded. "Little ears in here."
"You should go home and pour yourself a drink." A fireman told him as he watched the ambulances drive off to the nearest hospital. He did good work, that was for sure. Four people are alive because of him and tomorrow he'd go visit Winnie and Winnie's mother Sarah at the hospital. He'd promised.
"Yeah." He mumbled before he walked over to his car and got behind the wheel. But he couldn't get that beer because he had a meeting scheduled with the president of the United States of America and he already was late.
He turned the car in driving direction to head to the airport where he should have been in the first place.
Derek Shepherd didn't hear that his phone was ringing because he turned up the music.
He didn't know that it was Meredith who was calling him repeatedly because she had no idea where he was since the White House called her to let her know that he missed his meeting. It was just him on the road. But he saved some lives and that was satisfaction enough. He was happy to be on his way to D.C. to resign and then fly back to Seattle to Meredith and their kids.
He had no idea that they were worried sick about him. He had no ideas that Washington D.C. had called his wife to tell him that he had missed his meeting in D.C. He had no ideas. Instead of looking at his cell phone, why should he, there's no reception anyway; he pulled out on the driveway and headed for the Seattle Tacoma Airport, hoping he would make it in time to make his flight. But he still had to drive a few miles to get there. When he glanced at the vehicle monitor he saw that he had missed his meeting with the president and his staff. It was supposed to start at nine o'clock but it was now past three. No wonder they grew worried. But he didn't know that back then. He sighed loudly, hitting the steering wheel in frustration.
"Crap. I actually missed it."
But he had the best excuse ever, he saved four people from two vehicles that have been in a car crash, that flipped and overturned right before his very eyes. He concentrated on the road before him. Eventually, he made it to the airport without any other disruptions and car crashes that happened in front of his eyes and he was glad about that.
He just wanted to be home, with Meredith and the kids.
Having some nice family time with them, he would gladly take up playing tea party with Zola and Bailey with a princess crown on his head instead of driving in this deserted road in the freaking middle of nowhere.
Maybe Amy and Bailey had been right with saying that he won't make his flight. When he parked his car, he quickly made his way to the entrance and to the counter to get on the next flight out to Washington D.C. After he bought the ticket, he had to sit down and wait for boarding in the waiting area. One hour passed and the passengers still weren't able to board the plane. Derek was beginning to get impatient and started pacing up and down.
He finally decided to ask what is going on with the plane. He really needed to get to Washington D.C.
They still haven't heard from him. But the man behind the last-minute ticket counter told him: "Flight's delayed. There's some problem going on and they're trying to fix it. Chances are that it might take a few hours."
Derek just stared at him for a moment. "But I have an urgent meeting with …" He doesn't complete the sentence. He'd rather wait than dying in a crashing plane. He already experienced that and he never wanted to go through something like that again.
He was breathing heavily as he entered the building. Then, in a conference room: "Ah, Dr. Derek Shepherd. I'm glad to finally see you here." Derek nodded curtly. He wanted to get this over with. It was a chapter of his life, yes, but he wanted to go back to Seattle to live with Meredith and the kids. After the meeting, when his resignation was finalized, he said goodbye to some of his former colleagues, exchanging formalities and Derek had to shake hands with a lot of former colleagues.
"Does your wife know you are here now? I' m telling you, you should call her." Derek looked up, facing his former colleague.
He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion.
"Is there something I miss?" Derek asked. "Because why does it concern you when I call my wife?" "You were late, Derek. You never showed up in your meeting today and since you've never been late, we thought maybe there was a hold-up in Seattle or something, in the hospital you work in or in your family. That's when we decided to call Grey Sloan Memorial and ask for you there.
We spoke to your wife, we told that you've never showed up to your meeting … If this would be my wife, I'd be worried crazy and I think she does too." He suggested.
"Yeah, you might be right." Derek smiled at them and then said goodbye and left.
When he was outside, he took a deep breath and searched for his phone, making sure he has it with him. But he didn't call Meredith, instead of doing that he called his sister, hoping that she wasn't in surgery doing some really complicated procedure after he exited the building. But he was glad when he finally got to leave. He called a taxi that dropped him off at the airport before waiting on his flight back.
Amelia answered his phone call right away after she'd seen Derek's number.
"Derek, is that you?" She asked, after hearing him starting to reply, she cut him off: "Okay, spill, Derek. Why did the White House call Grey Sloan Memorial? You were freaking late for your meeting." She asked this question before he could even say hello to his little sister. "Hello to you too, Amy." Derek said, grinning slightly as his sister's voice sounded through the phone. "I was busy saving lives. Remember that shortcut I told you about?" He asked. "There are no shortcuts to the airport, Derek. You should know that by now."
"Yeah, will you stop reminding me, Amy? I got to save lives. Now I am at the airport, waiting for my flight back to Seattle." Amelia seemed to think, then she asked: "Will you call Mer? She's going crazy, imagining all horror scenarios such as you being in a second plane crash or maybe car crash. Derek, please call her. Her nerves are lying on blank ice."
Derek sighed. That was to expect. "Don't tell her anything. I want to surprise her."
"Not even that you're okay?" Amelia sounded skeptic.
"I'll be back soon."
"That's good." Amelia answered, relieved that her brother was okay.
When Amelia left the kitchen Meredith turned to Derek, making a face: "So your sister and Owen? Really?" Meredith asked and looked at her husband. "Yeah, she told me last night." Derek explained while putting on his coat. "You knew that your sister's doing Owen and you didn't tell me?" Meredith inquired him, eyeing him. Why did he hide that information from her? "I was supposed to tell you that?" He asked dumbfounded, not daring to look Meredith in the eye. "Yes." She replied, her eyes sparkling.
"I don't remember where I put my phone and now have to remember someone else's sex life?" He answered back flabbergasted. "Oh, I gotta go ..." But instead, Meredith came nearer to his body, Derek asking: "Oh you wanna go again? Huh?" Meredith didn't answer, in that moment she pulled Derek's lost phone from his pocket. She chuckled as she held it up.
"Oh. Hey, that's my phone." Derek replied and he and Meredith kissed.
Then they parted and Meredith said: "You know, I wish you could stay or I could come with you or something." Derek already opened the door. "I'll be back soon and you know that." Derek assured her. "I know, I know." Meredith followed him to the door. "I just feel like I just got you back and now you have to go and I have to stay here …" Meredith rambled a bit. "I'll be home before you know it, Mer." Derek smiled his McDreamy smile. Then they kissed - for real kissed.
„This is my last trip and then I'll be back for good." Derek said, smiling at her. Meredith smiled at him, the thought of Derek being back for good was amazing. "I love you, you know that, right?" Meredith looked at him as he came nearer and nearer and finally their lips met – they kissed, as in really must part ways with her now though. There's the little matter of resigning from a presidential post in DC. "I just feel like I'm losing you again after I just got you back." Meredith told him her thoughts. Derek replied: "You won't lose me, you won't ever lose me ..." Meredith smiled at him. Then Derek said smiling: "Wait right here. Wait for me. Stay here." It were the exact words he was saying before he went to break up with Rose, after she built the house of candles where their real house is now ... Meredith smiled as she watched Derek leave, already thinking about when he comes back to her.
"Hey, can we talk?" Owen walked towards Amelia who was standing near the nurses' station, typing in her pad. But their conversation was interrupted by a nurse who called Amelia's name. "Dr. Shepherd, you have a call on line four." A nurse called Amelia over, holding a phone in his hand. Meredith was sitting there, looking for something in someone's patient chart. "I gotta get that." Amelia said to Owen. Amelia made her way over to take the call. "Hello." She said, waiting for whoever this was to reply.
"Oh, no, sorry, you want the other Dr. Shepherd." She stated, the cell phone pressed against the ear.
"Here's his wife." Amelia said concluding and handed the phone over to Meredith who was sitting there, working on the computer. "Hi, this is Dr. Shepherd's wife. No, he's not here. Can I take a message for him?" She asked while searching for a piece of paper, some post-it note or anything that goes that way and a pencil to write something down. She starts writing something on a paper, the pencil scratched on the paper.
Then she exclaimed in surprise, straightened herself: "Oh, I thought he was there."
"Okay, sure." She replied to whatever they said on the other line.
"Okay, no problem, thank you." Amelia watched Meredith, scribbling something down, waiting for her to end the call and spill what was going on. "Bye, bye." She said before finally ending the call and put it back. "What was?" Amelia asked as soon as Meredith ended the call. "Uh, nothing." But Meredith's voice clearly showed that it was definitely not nothing. "It was just the White House calling. Derek never showed up at his meeting this morning." Meredith answered. "Uhuh." Amelia looked at her.
"I am sure his flight got delayed or something."
Meredith waved it aside, pushing her real feeling aside as well. She wasn't calm, at least not at the inside. She couldn't help but worry.
She then left, smiling at her although her smile was somewhat forced and bizarre. On the place where she worked was a notepad with the name 'Derek' followed by a question mark.
Anxiously, Meredith looked out of the windows, hoping that there won't be any police cars pulling up their driveway. Then she stared back at the phone. Suddenly the doorbell rang. Meredith flinched when she heard the sound, preparing herself for bad news, for police officers bringing her bad news concerning Derek's whereabouts. Maybe that she was about to hear that he died or was seriously injured and she'd have to come with them …
All possible worst-case scenarios were in her head as she went to open the front door. Fresh air entered their homey home but she'd rather have Derek here instead of sitting and waiting and going crazy over worrying over Derek.
But she most certainly hadn't expected this. Derek was standing there, breathing and alive and with a huge smile on his face as he sees his wife opening the door. "Derek?! Am I dreaming or something?" She asked, slightly overwhelmed while gaping at the neurosurgeon with an open mouth, not quite convinced that she had Derek back, alive and breathing and standing in the doorway to their home. "Am I …"
Meredith asked, shocked and flabbergasted at the sight of her neurosurgeon husband. Meredith looked into his ice-blue eyes that were fixated on her, scanning her. It was definitely Derek Shepherd, who had been AWOL since that call she got from the White House. It wasn't her overly exhausted mind playing her some stupid imagination, no, this was real.
This was to good to be real.
She must be hallucinating or something.
"No, Meredith. You are not, what's going on?" Derek asked, growing concerned.
Instead of answering, Meredith just embraced her husband, pressing his body against hers, feeling his warmth. She breathed in his scent, never so relieved and thankful for having him here. Meredith closed her eyes for a second, he was here and he was okay. Derek felt Meredith's body relaxing when she was in his arms. Suddenly, time just seemed to stop. It was just them.
"I'm so glad you made it here alive." Meredith murmured into his jacket.
He made it here safely. She was more than relieved about that. Then after some minutes that seemed like a forever to both of them, Derek pulled away from Meredith. She looked scared, he could tell that from a certain look in her eyes and he had no idea why she was looking that way. He made a step into his and Meredith's home, she was still looking at him with big eyes.
Then she finally told him why she had been acting the way she did: "Derek, I was scared. Scared, really freakishly scared of losing you, damn it …" I want us to have our forever. I was so scared of losing you because I freaking love you, Derek Shepherd. But she didn't say the latter. So she just added it silently while Derek looked at her all dreamy with his blue eyes.
"You were scared of losing me." Derek repeated, remembering the conversation with his former colleague from NIH. They had called Meredith to ask her where he was. Instantly, a wave of guilt washed over him and put his arms around her slender body, pressing her against his.
"It's okay, Mer. I'm here. I said I'd come back, didn't I?" He chuckled slightly.
"You did. And once again, you kept your promise. And Derek, I'm so glad you did. I don't want to ever live without you. I want to spend my life with you and our kids."
"What about a third one? We talked about that too." He smiled seducing at his wife.
"Well … I …" Meredith stuttered, blindsided by the fact that he wanted to talk about that now.
"You should at least have called me to let me know that you got there safely." Meredith scolded him playfully while giving him a light slap on the arm before kissing him, once more relieved that he was there, alive and breathing and that she and Derek still had their entire future together. They could look forward to that. "It was supposed to be a surprise. By the way, I called Amy to let her know that I made it to Washington D.C. in one piece, as you said so nicely before."
"Stop joking, I was scared." Meredith smiled at him softly.
"You don't have to be. I just did what I always do. I was saving other people's lives. Now that we're talking about that, I made a promise to a little girl that I met on the crash site. She was in one of the cars that overturned …" Derek started telling her what happened on his way to the airport, what his hold-up had been. Meredith looked at him in shock. "The cars overturned, right in front of you?" She asked, thunderstruck, knowing that if Derek hadn't been able to brake the cars would have buried his car, most likely killing him. "Yeah." Meredith shuddered at the thought of that.
"But you were able to brake." That was a simple statement coming from her.
"Yeah, I have been able to brake. But it was close to go very wrong." He added quieter. After he told her the whole story, how he missed all calls because of the almost non-existent reception and the saving people, they disappeared both giggling into their bedroom to do go to bed. Although, it wasn't really going to bed, more snuggling and all that goes that way. Later on, Meredith fell asleep, the whole day not knowing where her husband was, if he was injured or not was taking its toll on her.
In the next morning, Meredith woke up early.
It was raining, as it always does in Seattle. But this time she didn't care at all. She was just so blessed having Derek lying in the bed next to her. She was glad about not having to make the choice when shipping him off to a long-term care facility or terminate all life-sustaining measures as she had to in her worst dreams that haunted her when she got the phone call from the White House.
But it was over now. She turned over and glanced at Derek who was still soundly asleep.
They stayed up late yesterday due to some 'I'm-so-glad-to-be-home-sex' and 'I-don't-ever-want-to-lose-you-sex' they had. She was smiling as she snuggled deeper into her cushions and closed her eyes again only to be shaken awake by a nauseous feeling in her stomach. Silently she stood up and made her way over to the bathroom where she emptied her stomach.
Then she had a thought. She and Derek had tried often enough in the last few weeks so that there's a chance that ...
Meredith smiled. After all, she was blessed with her family, her husband and job.
/
"What are you doing?" Derek asked as he entered their bathroom. "Zola and Bailey are downstairs with Amelia, she's making breakfast." He explained but soon, a worried expression covered his face when he saw how pale Meredith was. "Are you okay?" He started asking her, growing concerned and started hovering. "I'm great. Just come, sit down by me. We just have to wait." Meredit told him.
Somehow, a smile was covering her lips.
Her hands were holding something, hiding something from his view.
"Wait for what?" Derek asked. "You did say you wanted another one." Meredith answered cryptically. "Oh." Derek's face changed in realization and a huge grin covered his lips. "You think you are …" He asked her elated. "Maybe I am." Meredith answered.
/
Meredith and Derek were waiting impatiently for the results of the pregnancy test. Minutes seemed to become hours. At least, it seemed like that. Finally, they got the results. Time was up.
"Derek." Meredith called out happily when she saw the color of the stick.
"Do you have the results?" Derek asked his wife, a McDreamyish smile covered his face.
"Yeah." Meredith held the pregnancy test so that he can see it. His eyes lit up when the neurosurgeon saw what it showed. Meredith smiled, the possibility of having a third child with the love of her life seemed like a great option.
She remembered Derek's words: Let's have one more ...
Yeah, why not? Zola and Bailey would get another sibling ... Their family was getting bigger than they expected but it were good surprises ...
"We're going to have another baby, Mer." Derek said, he could not be more happy. They kissed, a long MeredithDerek-y kiss
"We're going to be parents for another time, Meredith." Derek couldn't hold himself back anymore. He hugged Meredith who was still sitting there, leaning against the bathtub. Meredith closed her eyes. He was warm and she felt save in his arms.
Life, after all, wasn't so bad.
Meredith pulled out the key to her and Derek's home in the wood and opened the door. She saw that Derek was emptying the dishwasher when she entered the house. "The kids?" She asked while barely looking at Derek. "Just put them to bed." He confirmed while attempting to say something more than that. "Derek." Meredith started saying but Derek cut her off. "Meredith, please wait:" He pleaded. She turned around, glancing at him with a somewhat annoyed face expression. She waited for him to say something but ... "Derek?" She asked, moving her hands in confusion. "Just wait." He replied.
/I can't do this, I'm sorry. I am married. I love my wife. I have to go. Right now I have to go./
Back in their living room, Meredith sat down.
Suddenly, Derek knew what he wanted to say- "I am calling post-it. Zola and Bailey, tumors on the walls and ferryboat scrub caps." Meredith looked to the side, not knowing how to react. Their post-it commitment is put to test in this very moment. "I thought D.C. was everything." He started to confess. He seemed ruminative when he said this. "And I was wrong." He finished. Pause. Silence was between them.
Then, a smile formed on his lips and he said: "You."
"You." He repeated, meaning what he said. "You are everything."
That was when Meredith looked up at him.
"I love you and I am not gonna let Meredith I can't live without you." He looked at her all dreamy. "I don't wanna live without you. And I am gonna do everything in my power to prove it." With that he finished his speech.
Meredith looked aside for a moment. She didn't say anything, Derek already started fearing the worst-case scenario.
"I can live without you." Meredith said.
Derek didn't know what to feel in this moment. This couldn't be their end, this couldn't behow they were ending, this can't be ... But he didn't expect what came after that. He breathed in, tensed noticeably but didn't know what would happen in the next second.
"But I don't want to." Meredith looked at him in honesty.
"I don't ever want to."
She smiled at him, Derek felt like he could breathe again.
Dedicated to Dr. Derek Shepherd
We will miss you ...
A/N: This is a cute, fluffy MerDer oneshot ... because Meredith and Derek, they deserve happiness. In this oneshot, Derek lives on.
PLEASE REVIEW ... Reviews are greatly appreciated.