Prologue
By: Jamie Peterson
Disclaimer: Standard applies. It's a fic, so nothing is mine.
January 21, 2016
"Another harmonics test completed..." Shinji thought to himself, walking home from Central Dogma on a blustery afternoon. He pulled the collar of his jacket over his neck, and cringed up to help make himself warmer. Then, a snowflake passed in front of him, a few inches off. Shinji stopped and watched the snowflake flutter about in the light wind, until it stopped on the ground. He stared up at the sky as it opened up and snow began to fall. He smiled. "Innocent.....so innocent...." He said quietly, and continued on his way home.
He stepped inside the apartment and shook off, pressing the button that closed the door behind him. He took off his jacket in silence, and hung it up in his room. He sat at the dinner table and laid his head down on it. "It's too quiet without Asuka-chan."
You love her dont you.
He snapped up and looked around. "What? Who are you?" He asked the voice.
I'm a higher being.
"No, you're not."
Don't question it.
Shinji paused.
Well?
"Well, what?"
Do you love her?
"How can you love someone who wants to bicker all the time?"
Easy. You have an idea of what they're saying, so it dosen't impact.
"I don't understand your words."
The voice sighs. She's hiding her feelings. Do you think someone really wants to be alone, like how she pushes everyone away?
"No."
Do you like being alone?
"Sometimes."
......Shinji!
"OK! No!"
Have you even wondered why she does this?
"Yes, I wonder why it has to be me mostly."
Well, her father is just like yours: not caring, and she lost her mother at a young age, just like you. She's forced herself not to depend on others, and that may be her downfall. Memories of her childhood continue to haunt her, this is why she can't pilot EVA any longer.
"Oh............wait, how do you know this?"
I told you. I'm a higher being. I see many things.
"......"
So......do you love her?
"I refuse to answer."
Why? Because you're afraid of rejection? Humiliation? Pain?
"...........yes."
That's the game. Shinji, listen: Love like you never been hurt, live like it's heaven on earth.
"Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt....."
No, it wouldn't. She's in serious depression, and she won't let anyone in because she thinks they can't be 'great' or 'important' enough. She needs someone.
"OK, I hear you. I.........I do love her, I miss her face, her hair, her eyes.......damn, I miss everything about her, even the yelling."
That's the spirit. Now go........
"Wait? Where are you going? Hello??"
....shinji......SHINJI.....
Shinji opened his eyes and sleepily looked around. "Hello, sleepy head!" Misato said. "I got some takeout on the way home, I hope you like it!" She said, opening the fridge and taking out a beer. "You didn't have to do that Misato-chan, I could've cooked." "Yeah, but it was on the way home." She said. Pen Pen waddled out of his space and squaked. "Hello Pen Pen!" Misato cheered. "Wrak." "Would Pen Pen like a beer?" Misato asked. "Wrak!" Misato smiled and got a beer out for Pen Pen. While Misato played with Pen Pen, Shinji ate his noodles qucikly. "Thank you Misato-chan." He said, and retreated to his room. "Your welcome Shinji-kun." Misato said, reaching for her second beer.
Shinji clicked the SDAT player on to track 26 and stared at the ceiling as the song played. "I wonder what Asuka is doing.."
Asuka stared at the ceiling, being finished with crying once more. "Why now........why me....."
Self pity gets you nowhere.
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD."
No. I'm doing nothing to your mind. You've been through enough as it stands.
"What are you doing then."
Warning you.
"Of what."
Love. That's what.
"Yeah, right. Who could love me....I have no features..."
That you don't notice.
"Hentai voice. Who are you supposed to be anyway."
A higher being.
"How can I believe that?
I'm not asking you to. Heed my warning.
January 22
"Asuka's supposed to have a harmonics test today." Shinji
told himself when he woke up. He walked out of the apartment before Misato
heard anything (not like she could anyway). Shinji walked through the wind
again, listening to the crunch of the thin layer of snow under his feet.
"It'll be gone once the sun comes out.." He chose to sit outside the tram
terminal that ran down to the Geo Front to wait on Asuka.
"Come on, concentrate....."
"What's the reading Maya?"
"Higher than last time, but not high enough to activate
Eva unit 02."
"Well, that's one thing she can be happy about."
"Asuka?" Misato's voice goes through the test plug.
"Yes Misato."
"You scored higher....but it's still not enough."
"I see." Asuka said sadly. "I'm still no good." She
thought as the screens disappeared and the walls of the plug reappeared.
"I'm still no good to them."
Shinji looked the other way as the tramcar stopped
and let out the people for lunch hour. He knew Asuka was to be on that
tram, so he didn't want it look like he was waiting on someone. He watched
the backs of NERV personnel walk off into Tokyo-3, but he still didn't
see Asuka. He turned his head to look at the car, which was starting to
head back down to Geo Front. As it pulled away, Asuka appeared, just standing
there staring at the concrete. She held herself and began walking towards
the city, sobbing with every step. Shinji looked away and remained silent
until Asuka came into his view somewhat. "Hello, Asuka-chan." He said weakly.
Asuka stopped and turned to look at him. "Oh, it's just you, baka Shinji."
Shinji leaned forward a bit. "What's wrong?" He asked. "Asuka turned away
from him. "Nothing's wrong...you wouldn't understand. No one does."
Shinji stood up and came up behind Asuka. "How do you
know that." He said . Asuka said nothing and drooped her head. Shinji toched
her shoulder and she pulled away. "Don't be putting any moves on me Shinji-kun."
She commanded, brokenly.
"Why do you push me away."
The words caught Asuka by surprise. "What is that supposed
to mean?" She asked.
"You know what I'm talking about. You're not getting
better because you refuse to be helped by others."
"Shut up, you don't know the half of it."
"Yes I do. I vioce came to me; told me about your past."
"And I still don't have the need for anyone."
"Yes you do. You need someone." Shinji began. "I need
you..."
Asuka was surprised again. "W-what?" She said, turning
her head. "I-I love you, Asuka-chan." Asuka's heart skipped a beat.
"Why me? Who could love such a pitiful thing like me." Shinji
placed his hands on her shoulders, this time Asuka didn't move. He
put his head over her shoulder. "I love the way you are, the way you talk,
the way you walk, everything." Asuka started shaking. Shinji noticed a
tear run down her cheek. "Shinji-kun, you baka," She said low enough for
Shinji to hear himself. "But you can be my baka.." She said, slightly
smiling. She turned around and started crying on his chest. All he could
do was just to hold her as years of pent-up emotions came flowing out.
The sky fliied up with greyish clouds, and the snow
fell once more. Shinji looked up at the sky and smiled. "Thank you...whoever
you are."