I have been promising everyone a new fic for ages and here it finally is! This is my AU take on Ruth and Jay's reunion! I haven't a clue how long it will be but I want it to tackle a few of the storylines that the writes could have tackled if Ruth and Jay hadn't left! This is AU so no pregnancy, no fire and no Ruth and Jay leaving! Enjoy guys!

Wishing on a Star

Chapter 1 – Coffee and Kisses

It was strange how quickly they had fitted back together, like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that had just been clicked into place. It was almost as if they had never been apart. However things were still subtly different than before that evening in October although that was to be expected. It was like an unspoken agreement that both Ruth and Jay knew and accepted a lot of time had passed and things had changed. The past was like an elephant in the room with each of them having faced many tough times in the past year whilst they had been apart. Ruth hadn't talked to Jay much about her Bipolar and Jay still hadn't confessed about the cancer, even though Ruth knew she hadn't confessed this too him, their relationship was still innocent and they both knew things would be discussed when the time was right. Right now they were dealing with now, the present and being happy, although they were not ignoring the past they were not dwelling on it or the ghosts that haunted them.

Ruth's eyes shifted from the ceiling where they had been fixed as she reflected on the relationship that had been rekindled in the past week and onto the blankets beside her which were beginning to move. She smiled to herself as Jay emerged scruffy haired and baring a cheeky smile.

"Morning beautiful." He grinned as he ran an hand through his messy curls

She liked waking up with him. She smiled back. As she pulled herself up, she hadn't ever been as happy as she was right now. She felt that feeling in her stomach as she leant over and placed a light kiss on his lips causing a cheesy grin to spread across his face. She didn't even need to ask to know he was happy.

"I think we should spend the whole day in bed!" Jay said placing his arms under his head and watching Ruth expectantly as she stood up wearing one of his old t-shirts and an old pair of shorts.

"And I think we should get moving before both of us are late for work!" She shook her head and vanished out of the room as he wolf-whistled jokingly.

Ruth headed towards the kettle with her mind firmly fixed on a strong black coffee to get her ready for the day ahead. She set out two mugs and spooned coffee into both whilst she waited for the kettle to boil.

"You never change." Jay smiled from the doorway as Ruth looked up from mugs and smiled slightly

"I need coffee!" she smiled as he wandered over wrapping his arms around her waist

"Addict." He laughed before placing a kiss on her cheek

Ruth laughed slightly and pulled herself out of Jay's arms as the kettle finished boiling.

"You're no fun in the mornings!" Jay pouted slightly as Ruth filled both mugs and added a splash of milk and a spoon of sugar to Jay's before stirring expertly.

"That would be because I take my responsibilities seriously unlike some!" Ruth pointed out handing Jay his coffee

"Boring!" Jay coughed

"Boring is the new cool." Ruth stated before vanishing off towards her bedroom to get ready, coffee in hand.

"Keep trying to convince yourself of that!" Jay shouted after her

Ruth was ready in five minutes and spent the next ten tapping her foot as she waited impatiently for Jay to get ready. They headed out her small flat and towards the bus stop hand in hand. Ruth couldn't help but feel happy butterflies dancing in her stomach as they walked together and caught the bus. Jay fell silent as they got off outside the emergency department and Ruth's happy butterflies were replaced by nervous ones as they walked towards the department. She was still secretly finding every day a challenge, terrified about messing things up or relapsing. She couldn't help but want the comfort of Jay's hand holding hers as they walked side by side towards the entrance no matter how unprofessional it looked.

"How long do you want me to wait?" Jay asked immediately as he approached the infamous hedge that he had dubbed 'the hedgething' hedge and was the line that Ruth had drawn between their relationship and the emergency department back when their relationship first began.

"What?" Ruth snapped out of her thoughts and turned to face him taking a minute for her to realise where they were "Oh… yes… why don't we just go in together?"

"Seriously? I thought we were doing the secret thing again?" Jay asked "I wouldn't want to get in the way of your illustrious career!"

Ruth snorted

"Career? Jay I am hanging onto my career by my fingertips being sectioned does not go down well on a CV." Ruth pointed out "anyway it doesn't necessarily mean anything, people walk in to work together as friends all the time don't they?" Ruth rambled. Truth was she didn't even mind the idea of turning up with Jay, ok she'd rather not spread the fact they were a couple, it was unprofessional to be all over each other at work, but being friends with your colleagues wasn't such a bad thing. Plus having Jay by her side was reassuring.

"You know I will do whatever you want though?" Jay pointed out snapping Ruth back to reality

"I know." Ruth smiled "being friends with people at work doesn't hurt." She added

"Ok who are you and what did you do with Ruth Winters?" Jay asked with a small chuckle

"I guess my priorities have changed slightly, sometimes things you experience change everything…" she trailed off and Jay took her hand giving it a brief squeeze and letting it go once more knowing Ruth needed his comfort but would not want him to take the touchy feely stuff to far.

"Come on the past isn't the best thing to dwell on is it?" Jay said gently "Let's go make like Ruth Winters and treat lots of patients and drink lots of coffee."

Ruth appreciated the gesture and the kind words, she placed a quick kiss on his cheek and smiled slightly

"Thank you." She said simply appreciating his encouragement

"No problem." Jay replied "but we might want to start walking I'd hate to be the reason you are late!"

Ruth took a look at her watch and immediately turned towards the department leaving Jay to chuckle as he tried to keep up with her quickened pace.

Holby city emergency department was a busy place to work and today was no exception. The businesses of the department was exactly why Ruth liked it despite the fact it fell short of the goal of being a surgeon she had set herself. A couple of years ago she saw every patient as a new exciting challenge however these days every new patient was a frightening test of if she was good enough to be working. In her head every patient was a challenge to overcome not to be excited about. When a case was closed she still felt the same sense of accomplishment but whilst treating each patient she lived in fear that she would mess up or that she would relapse.

"Flying saucer for your thoughts?"

A voice cut across Ruth's thoughts as she stared blankly at the patients notes in front of her, she saw Jay offering her a half empty packet of flying saucers as he chewed one himself.

"Do you ever behave professionally?" She enquired shutting the patient's notes and raising an eyebrow at the nurse

"Nope." Jay responded proudly as she shook her head and started to walk off "Hey!" Jay jogged after her as nudged her with his elbow as he fell into place walking next to her "you can deny that you want flying saucer but you can't deny there is something on your mind, is everything ok?"

"Yes its fine." Ruth said simply "Just trying to decide the best course of treatment for my patient."

"Fair enough, I'm sure you'll figure it out Supergeek." Jay winked

"Thanks." Ruth smiled slightly knowing Jay had faith in her abilities helped sometimes. She was so scared about messing up sometimes that had begun to cloud her judgement and find her seeking approval from a more senior doctor before she dared to even administer a single paracetamol tablet to a patient.

She wondered once more why they had fallen into this unspoken agreement that their relationship was to remain secret. Maybe she wanted it to be a secret, she paused, did she? It was something that had crossed her mind several times. She was no longer ashamed of Jay in any way shape or form, in fact she was impressed that anyone wanted to be with her, she was after all a complete psycho who tried to cut someone's head open and she didn't have a track record for being the nicest person ever. She was the lucky that Jay even wanted to talk to her, he was way out of her league. She wanted to be proud of their relationship so what was holding her back besides herself? Maybe it was just easier she pondered as she entered the cubicle and maybe it would be less embarrassing when Jay finally realised that she wasn't good enough for him.

Ruth sighed confused by her own thoughts and pulled open the curtain, switching back into doctor mode the second her eyes laid on the patient in front of her, she didn't have time to sit and debate what was for the best right now she had patients to treat and that was a challenge on its own.