The Death of Danny Phantom
Caution: This is a comedy piece made to make fun of Danny Phantom, anybody who doesn't like it can shove it where the sun don't shine.
The town of Amity was deadly silent as clouds rolled overhead, it was midnight and nobody was around. But maybe there was somebody there…
Out of the shadows came a creature, so hideous it would burn your eyes to see it, so ugly it would burn away the skin on your eyeballs, so mutated that it couldn't possibly be human. In fact it wasn't. Only part human anyway, it was a horrible creature by the name of Danny Phantom. He was covered in a glowing slime and had unnaturally white hair. He was purely disgusting.
If you could call him a he, nobody knew where he came from; some say he crawled out of the pits of hell where he was spawned by the devil and a slug. But the truth, as I have now discovered, is far more gruesome. He was born, as a human child, to human parents. He grew up and had a normal life, the hideousness lurking just the surface. It all came out on the day he saw the world he had come from, the ghost zone.
The creature crawled through it's own slime leaving a trail not unlike a snails behind it. It carried on until it reached its destination; the hometown of his arch nemesis. He carried on, his pained crawl taking him not to a house but to a construction yard. In the various garages were a tractor and a digger and more unsightly machinery. He knew now more than ever that he had to be careful, these machines had eyes, literally, no kidding, seriously, no jokes, I'm not kidding, they had eyes. There was a sentry posted near the door of the building, it was a huge, fat, purple, round headed monstrosity, almost as hideous as Danny himself. Danny had heard it was called Tinkle Winkle but it wasn't a vary reliable source. He could deal with it, however, he pulled out of his hideous, slime coated, rotted shirt a bowl of pink goo. Silently he placed down in the shadows where it was just within sight of the guard. The round-headed-creature couldn't resist and it almost tripped over in its rush to get to the nourishing…well, goo is really the only word for it (I could call it whale poo but that would be less mysterious, although extensive research has led me to believe that was the main component of the goo).
He hurried into the now unguarded house and followed several corridors before coming to a room, it was occupied by three more of the round headed creatures, one red, one green and one yellow. They were horrendous to see (you would be even more disgusted if you knew that the room they were in was a large hall containing a giant fish tank. Inside was a poor, captured whale. If you read my previous comment you would know that this was so the round-heads could collect their food when it came out of the poor animal) that even he, in all his hideousness, was appalled. He knew their names to be Baabaa, Tipsy and Poo and that in some countries the children worshipped these creatures. He quickly passed by this room in search of his true enemy, no doubt the…what were they called? The Teveehubbies were formidable but he had bigger fish? No bigger clay to fry.
The next room he came upon was the study and there was something in there. In the high-backed chair in front of the fireplace there was something moving. It was crudely shaped out of clay and wore a yellow hat and overalls. The thing moved, Danny realized it was clutching a bottle of finest Russian Vodka. A shot glass lay discarded nearby. Then the thing spoke.
"He..yy….is ther...somebo..d there?"
Danny didn't move or speak he just stood there.
"hoo…are you to talc…about mi mudder like tat! Just because she was bon a man dain't meen she's any difrent."
The thing was obviously very drunk. He probably needed psychiatric help too but Danny let him rant on.
"Soooooo…babee! You come here and guv me some shugeer sweeedy!"
Danny slowly moved toward the drunken form and it hugged him, its hands reaching around.
"I thought I ordered a lurvlee gurl for me twonite. Hhhhheyy! Yous a guy! Awww. It's skay I lurv you anyway brover."
His was resting with one arm around Danny's neck now. Finally Danny spoke:
"First of all… that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me and I love you too with all me heart."
The two men kissed for a moment then Danny pulled away.
"Secondly…I came here to kill you! Prepare to die you drunk bastard!"
"Kwill me? Heeyyy!"
The clay from lifted up it's vodka bottle and hit Danny around the head with it. It shattered and a piece of glass lodged in Danny's brain. Danny lay there and died, killed by a man who was so many things to him. His arch enemy, his gay lover, and a drunkard with no self respect. The drunkards name was the last thing Danny ever said;
"Bob…th..e…bill…de…r……"
Bob had Danny's gravestone inscribed:
Danny Phantom!
Can we kiss him?
Danny Phantom!
Yes we can!
Danny Phantom!
Can we kill him?
Danny Phantom!
Yes we can!
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Thanks to RavensDarkrose for inspiring the description of Danny and the language of Bob the Builder.