Hey all so this is my second fic, just thought I should let you all know that this is most definitely not meant to be a yaoi! This story is actually based off an event that happened at my college recently, and one of the people involved is someone very close to me, so i guess writing these kinda stories is the way i deal. So with that said read on, and you all know that i don't own the characters and never will.

The digital clock in the living room read 2:15 am. Far to late to be just arriving home, but that was life and it was no as though he cared all that much for the first time ever he felt like everything was going as he wanted it to which for someone who had been through as much as him any good seemed like so much more. He flopped down on the couch dropping his leather jacket onto the floor carelessly, he could deal with it in the morning what need was there to be a neat freak at this hour? He ran a rough hand through spiked blond hair as he realized for the first time just how tired he was, when he had been with her time didn't seem to matter, but in the dark living room he could feel the weight of the hour finally catching up with him. It was rare that he would leave his friends for so long, but they all knew that much as they needed each other, they also needed lives of their own and it just so happened that Raphael would be the first of them to try to achieve this.

He pushed himself off the couch reluctantly before he feel asleep there and made his way slowly up the stairs. It was dark and silent as he reached the landing, not unusual for the hour, yet for some reason he could not shake the feeling of unease that was gnawing at his chest. Stop it! He told himself, its just your older brother instincts wanting to go in and make sure their breathing, you can't treat them like children, he though to himself strictly as his eyes adjusted more properly to the dark and he made his way towards his bedroom at the end of the hall. Valon's room was the first door to his right, left wide opened something he would never know why the younger boy did but if it kept him from having the horrible nightmares that used to plague him when they were younger he would not argue the door staying that way that he wanted it. As he reached the next door he could feel the nervousness that had been building within him raise even more. The door on the left wall was opened as well, this wasn't right and Raphael knew it, Alister would never leave his door opened so why was it now? He carefully pushed it in a little farther so that he could get a full view of the room. Raphael could feel his heart clench, the bed was empty. But where would he be at this hour? Don't panic he could be going out tonight, he often didn't tell Raphael his plans, but still he could not suppress the unease that this discover had brought him.

"Valon." He shook the younger boy awake. The brunette rolled over groaning.

"What the hell do you want Raph?" He muttered into his pillow.

"Do you know where Alister is?" Valon opened his wide blue eyes looking blearily around.

" You know, I have no idea I haven't seen him all night." He said, his accent thicker with sleep that was still wearing off, Raphael's breath caught where could Alister be all night! He jumped up startling the younger man.

"What are you doing?" Valon asked quickly following him down the stairs, his eyes feel on the clock and he realized what had made Raphael so worried. "Is he still not home, do you think he's okay?" He asked obviously nervous now. The older man picked up the phone and quickly began to dial his friend's cell phone. The other line started to ring and no answer came, Raphael hung it up.

"He's not answering, what?" There was a strange expression on Valon's face.

"Call again."

"Why...?"
"Just do it!" He snapped, Raphael dialed again listening the ringing of the other line, then he heard what the other man was talking about. Valon rushed from the room emerging quickly back through the door with the ringing cell phone in his hand on the bright screen it read 'Home'.

"His coats in the other room." Valon said unable to keep a quiver of fear from his voice. Raphael bit his lip, now that he thought about it both of their bikes had been there when he arrived home, but if he was here...

"You check upstairs, I'll look down here if he's in the house we have to find out why he's not in his room." If this was anyone else he would have supposed that they had fallen asleep in front of the TV, but this was Alister. Calm, sensible Alister, he would never do that.

He could hear Valon's barefoot falls run up the stairs as he walked quickly to the living room. Down the hall to the game room, still no sign of him and then...

He stopped in front of the bathroom. There was water running in the shower. He knocked lightly on the door trying to make himself breath more normally, see nothing to worry about he told himself.

"Alister?" He called. No answer. He knocked again and still the person in the shower made no reply or even a sound for that matter. Hesitantly he turned the knob and was shocked to find it unlocked.

The room was filled with steam from the shower stall though there was no shadow of a person against the curtain. He moved forward slowly a new fear gripping his heart, a fear of what he would find.

"Alister?" He managed to chock, nothing. Knowing what the other man would do in normal circumstances if he was do this, he ignored his gut feeling and pushed back the shower curtain. His breath caught harshly in his throat. His friend was so deathly pale, unmoving under the down pour of water, clothed only in boxers and a stream of red slide down his arm forming a river down the drain. It took him only seconds to take in the rest of the room, the emptied liquor bottles and the bloodied razor blade that lay in a pool of red on the counter top. He pulled a towel off the bar as he knelt to the floor, dragging his friends limp body from the shower and pulling him onto the tiled floor. His mind silently prayed, please be breathing, as he wrapped the redhead in the towel. The wounds on his arms were not deep, though they continued to bleed as Raphael pressed another towel to them.

"Valon!" He yelled, footfalls thundered down the stairs and stopped just outside the door.

"Oh my fu..."
"Call an ambulance right now!" He shouted, Valon turned quickly and disappeared into the other room. Raphael propped his friend's body up against his own, brushing the wet red hair from his face, he could feel the tears pricking at his eyes. He couldn't lose another sibling, it was hard enough to think about his brother and sister without the thought of losing someone else he loved, he pressed his forehead against Alister's. Now tears feel freely down his cheeks falling lightly onto his friend's pale body.

"Please Alister, if you can hear me I just want you to know that I don't wanna lose you, that your like my little brother, that my life isn't complete without you..." He chocked, why are you saying this does it really matter now? "That I love you." He whispered pulling the others body closer to him. Is he shaking? He pressed hand against Alister's back and was relieved to find it raise and fall in shallow shaky breaths. He slapped his friend's cheek lightly and was surprised as the gray eyes blinked to life. Alister looked around confused. Raphael chocked back more tears holding even more tightly to the younger man, he was alive! He brushed back the red bangs again and kissed his damp forhead.

"What happened?" He managed still holding Alister up against the wall. The redhead looked around the room then realization seemed to dawn on him.

"I'm sorry Raph, I didn't mean to you know..." He inclined his head towards the shower. "Its just recently my life has felt so meaningless...Without revenge for my brother...I don't really have a purpose...I did the only thing I could think of." He smiled sadly. "Get drunk and wallow in self pity."

Raphael ran a hand over his friends bare shoulder.

"But you do have a purpose."

"What?"

"You are a part of our family, you, me and Valon are all that we have in the world, you keep the rest off us together, with out you were lost. Please Alister, I know it's hard to go on some days, God knows I didn't think I could, but I did and so will you. I'm always here for you, you know that right?" Alister didn't answer, he wrapped his still bleeding arms around the older man's broad shoulders.

"I do now." Raphael helped the other man to his feet holding him steady against his body. Alister held onto his friend tightly. "Raph."
"Yeah?" They reached the living room which was still dark as it had been when he had been there only minutes before though it felt like hours.

"I love you too."

Okay I know thats a sappy ending, but thats okay. What'd you think, Good? Bad? Anything? Thanks for reading, now a review.