So... I've been really bored so I decided to watch the blacklist... so I stumbled past the stewmaker and wondered... what would Lizzie be thinking? I just noticed that I didn't write the relief she felt but that's because I think she was so busy focusing on what was about to happen , when Red turned up yes she felt relieved but I was rushing and didn't add it coz I have to go swimming in an hour, anyways but this is more what she sees then what she thinks...

I think I wrote it more romantically , but you can interpret anyways you want... its short and isn't much of a Lizzington story but I still hope you like it :)

enjoy xxx

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE BLACKLIST , IF I DID THE SHOW WOULDN'T HAVE A MAIN CHARACTER CALLED RAYMOND REDDINGTON COZ I'M NOT SMART ENOUGH TO COMEUP WITH SUCH A COOL NAME... I just borrowed the stewmaker, some lines, red and lizzie xxx

I found myself whirling around and falling down and down. My life memories were spinning around me, flashing like thousands of brilliant pictures with bright cascading colors like a thousand tiny kaleidoscopes... The memories I had concealed for so long ; for so long I had managed to forget, everything was fine, I had an amazing husband , I was going to start my dream job , I was going to have a family… Life was great. Ever since that day, ever since he came into my life, Everything I believed in shattered… I began to doubt everything good in my life. My husband… may not be the man I love. I could smell the stench of smoke, suffocating my lungs, poisoning them. I could feel a searing pain down my wrist , a hot burning sensation through my whole body as it shuddered, My wrist throbbed in pain… I used to hear my screams as a child , reverberate against my eardrums until my mind would fracture. Years went by and with each fracture; I lost a piece of my soul until I became lost and empty inside. They were the kind of screams that would be in a horror movie right before someone got chopped up into little bitty pieces. Once again those screams were breaking me , causing searing pains through my body, I could feel my life cracking , breaking into tiny shards of glass being sprawled across the floor.

He was pacing the room, His normally calm and pleasant demeanor slowly changed and his face contorted in an all - consuming anger; his nostrils flaring, his eyes flashing and closing into slits, his mouth quivering and drooling, slurring words that were unintelligible came spewing into space like a volcano releasing its pent up emotions into the darkness.

His hands went to go grab a camera , a polaroid that I could see of. He looked me in the eye and smirked, sending a shiver through my body.

A movement from behind The Stewmaker caught my eye, I let out an unnoticeable sigh of relief. My eyes wet straight back to the stewmaker, His grey eyes darkened, his eyes black and full of rage, as if his whole iris was pupil. He looked as if His eyes were burning with an indescribable fury, as if a tempestuous bull was raging inside him.

My throat felt like the Sahara dessert, dry and scratchy. I swallowed what felt like a galland of saliva before I spoke. My voice still sounded hoarse and rough.

"You know I was wrong about you" I paused , I now had the attention of the stewmaker who looked curious, "You're not perfect" I spat out before once again looking at Red, He looked angrier then he did before , I could feel myself tuning out , my head dizzy and my vision blurring. Right before the world turned black I saw The stewmaker collapse to the ground.

…

I woke to Red giving me a soft smile , his eyes looked faraway, like he was reciting old thoughts , good or bad I will never know…

"Hello Lizzie" His voice sounded calm but quiet "The effects will dissipate soon , you're going to be fine" he looked me , it wasn't until now I noticed how long and gold his eyelashes were ,how green his eyes were , like a multimillion dollar emerald being held in a safe. His eyes looked loving but angry. He turned around and walked to the stewmaker.

"Now, lets begin" he sneered and I shuddered at what could possibly happen next.

…

"A farmer comes home one day to find that everything that gives meaning to his life is gone. Crops are burned, animals slaughtered, bodies and broken pieces of his life strewn about. Everything that he loved taken from him –his children. One can only imagine the pit of despair, the hours of Job-like lamentations, the burden of existence. He makes a promise to himself in those dark hours. A life's work erupts from his knotted mind. Years go by. His suffering becomes complicated. One day he stops." I didn't know who he was talking about, was it himself or the stewmaker I don't think I'll ever find out.. but his words, The unmistakable pain in his voice, a faraway tone. "the farmer who is no longer a farmer - sees the wreckage he's left in his wake." A pause , I could feel my heart clenching , I was waiting in anticipation for what'd happen next. "It is now he who burns, he who slaughters, and he knows in his heart he must pay"

"Doesn't he Stanley?" Red asked him, it sounded as if something personal has happened between them , something in the past , like they've known each other for years. I couldn't help but feel curious at what aspired… i felt intrigued by Red , I wanted to know all his tales , his past , why he is who is his , what happened before this life, everything…

"No Red, he couldn't help it" I swallowed thickly, even to myself it sounded like I was a crashing wave at the beach, inside I knew that only two of us would be walking out of this cabin alive and it was Red and I, but I didn't want him to kill him, I wanted him to rot in jail, suffer, not escape… My cheeks were dry with blood , sweat and salted tears , I could feel my senses begin to set in but I still felt like a floater. To my surprise he replied

"Maybe you're right , maybe he could change" I could feel his footsteps getting further away from me , his deep exhale as if the world was sitting on his shoulders, "Maybe his not damaged beyond repair , maybe he can make amends to all those that his hurt so terribly" His voice had gone lower , a mocking tone laced in his low gruff voice, he paused as if waiting for the Stewmaker to react. "or maybe not" he ended leaving me confused , until a shudder wracked my body as I heard a splash , the chemicals erupting , bubbles … I could only assume my assumption was correct and it was now the Stewmaker who was being cooked in a bath of poision. That could've been me, I could've been down a drain , gone from the world, lost where nobody would find me… I'd leave everything behind ,my past, the people I loved ,my family , my friends ,my job… I nearly died…

Red walked up beside me just in time to see my shocked voice, he looked me in the eyes and once again gave me that smile, oh that smile… I heard the door smash open before everything went black.

It was as if I was being swallowed by the deep sea

And I knew… the nightmare had only just begun…

Hope you enjoyed that and it wasn't terrible, I know I left out being relieved and missing Red but I think at this point in the show she didn't have as much of a close connection to Red as she did after this episode , I think attraction was more noticeable (for me anyways) after this episode... I see lizzie as the type of person who doesn't want help and wants everything to be done by herself... so I know its bad but pleaselet mekow what u thought xxx

but please don't hurt my feelings xxxx

Becca :)

PS: happy easter 4 sunday :)