I'm a Survivor
I was born three months too early the doctor gave me thirty days. I must have had my mother's will and God's amazing grace. I guess I'll keep on living even if this love is to die for. Your bags are packed and I'm not crying. You're walking out and I'm not trying to change your mind.
Bella sat down on the couch watching Edward leave. For some strange reason she didn't feel sad. Renesmee was sitting on Bella's knee she closed her eyes and started to cry. Bella took her daughter's hand and said "Honey this has nothing to do with you. I don't want you to think that this is your fault."
Renesmee got up and ran to Edward. He scooped her up and said "Nessie I love you very much your mommy and I just don't love each other anymore."
A few months later Bella was trying to raise Renesmee by herself and it was really draining on her. Alice came over and said "Bella you need to get some sleep. I'll put Renesmee to bed. God I remember when she was born Bella; she was an early baby and Carlisle said she wouldn't make it. Edward went to hug you but you went to Renesmee and whispered in her ear. Over the next three years she grew stronger and she captured all of our hearts. She has your strong will Bella and God is with that child. I can't believe Edward left you like this. Don't worry though you are still part of this family."
Bella nodded and said "Thanks Alice. I think early birth runs in my family because I was born early to and my mother was told I wouldn't make it thirty days."
I was born to be the baby girl without a chance. The victim of circumstance and the one who ought to give up but she's just too hard headed. A single mom who works two jobs who loves her kids and never stops. I have gentle hands and the heart of a fighter I'm a survivor.
Bella was putting Renesmee to bed that night and said "You miss your dad don't you. Nessie you've been a very brave girl. I'm proud of you. Now I have to get to work. Remember what I've taught you."
Renesmee snuggled deeper under the covers and said "Be strong, brave and never give up. If you do those things you'll never need a man to protect you."
Bella smiled and said "That's my girl. Now get some sleep. I love you."
Bella left Renesmee's room and said "Thanks for baby sitting Alice. Nessie is my whole world. If she hadn't made it I don't know how I'd get through everyday. After Edward left people told me to give up. I was too hard headed and strong willed to listen."
Alice smiled and said "Get to work. You don't want to be late Bella. I'll take care of your baby girl. You don't let your circumstances bring you down. You never have and you never will."
Bella started to walk out the door but she stopped when she saw Renesmee's homework on the counter. The assignment was to write a paper about their hero. Bella had tears coming down her cheeks when she read "My hero is my mom. She is kind and gentle and she does a lot for me. My mom has been raising me by herself since I was three. My mom has taught me many things about survival. My whole life she's always said "Be brave, strong and never give up. If you do those things then you'll never need a man to protect you. My mom is my hero because she's been through ups and downs and back but she still keeps her head up. She says that she doesn't need anyone but me. She says that I'm her tool for survival. For a long time she said I was the reason she got up in the morning. My mom is my hero because she is always there for me."
Bella took the essay and stuck it in her jacket pocket. She wiped her tears away and got into her truck. The things her daughter wrote about her gave her strength. She got to work twenty minutes late. Her boss called her into the office and said "Ms. Swan you can't just come and go whenever you feel like it. This is the third time this week alone you've been late. This is your last warning. If you are late again I'm going to have to fire you."
I don't believe in self pity. It only brings you down. I may be the queen of broken hearts. I don't hide behind the crown. When the deck is stacked against me I just play a different game. My roots are planted in the past. My life is changing fast. Who I am is who I want to be.
When Bella got home that night she heard Renesmee crying. She went into the bedroom and said "Honey what's wrong? I'm here, I'm here."
Renesmee sniffled and said "Mom I'm sorry."
Bella wiped one of Renesmee's tears away with her thumb and said "You have nothing to be sorry for. You are all I need. I love you baby girl. Now let's see that smile."
Renesmee smiled at her mom and said "I ruined your work shirt."
Bella sighed and said "I don't care about the shirt. Let me change and then I'll sit up with you for a minute."
Bella quickly changed into her pajamas and robe. Then she put water in the tea kettle so she could have her tea. Then she went into her daughter's room and said "I read your paper."
Renesmee started to sob into her pillow again. Bella climbed onto the bed beside her and hugged her close. Renesmee took a deep breath and said "I never meant for you to see that. I didn't think you wanted people to know about us."
Bella hugged Renesmee closer and said "You didn't let me finish. What I was trying to say was I read your paper and I loved it. I'm glad I'm your hero baby. What you said is true I'm always going to be here for you. Do you want some hot chocolate? I'm boiling water for my cup of tea now."
Renesmee nodded and said "Are you alright mom?"
Bella took her daughter's hand and said "I'm fine honey. It's nothing you need to concern yourself with. Now I'll be down in a couple minutes. Be careful around the stove. I don't want you to get burned."
Bella closed her eyes and tried not to cry. She couldn't believe that she had almost been fired. Her mother had always taught her not to cry unless she was hurt. She had believed that with all her heart. She picked up the phone and called Alice.
Alice yawned and said "Bella do you have any idea what time it is?"
Bella took a deep breath and said "I almost got fired. Alice what am I going to do? I'm scared. I need this job so I can take care of Renesmee."
Alice sighed and said "Bella that's awful. Why are they thinking about firing you? You work overtime without getting paid extra for it. They know you need this job right?"
Bella swallowed and said "I was late again. Putting Renesmee to bed takes a lot of time. I can't stop putting her to bed because it's one of the only times she gets to see me. I help her get ready for school and I put her to bed at night. The rest of the time she's with you or someone else in the family. I'm lucky she's been such a good sport about this."
Alice sighed and said "Could you take another shift? I know that time you and Renesmee have together is special."
Bella sighed and said "I can't. Taking another shift would mean that I'd have to quit my other job. I shouldn't have to put an eight year old through this. God I love that child so much."
Alice took a deep breath and said "Bella I'll put Renesmee to bed during the week from now on. You can put her to bed on the weekends. Nessie is a good kid she'll understand."
Bella sighed and said "It shouldn't be this way. She had to grow up so fast Alice. She never got the chance to be a normal eight year old. I keep praying to God that she'll be given a better life."
Alice smiled and said "You've changed Bella. I guess when Edward left you were hurt. You just didn't let it affect you."
Bella sighed and said "My life is changing fast but I'm where I want to be right now. Thanks for all your help Alice."
Bella hung up the phone and went downstairs Renesmee was sitting in Bella's favorite chair. Bella smiled and said "You want that chocolate? I also think a bedtime story is in order because I had to skip that tonight. I'll be right back."
Bella came back into the den with the tea and hot chocolate. Then Renesmee said "What were you like when you were eight?"
Bella smiled and said "Well my parents were divorced when I was very small. I lived with my mom until I was seventeen. I was very hard headed and didn't give up even I should have. My mother didn't believe in self pity either. She always told me not to cry. That is pretty much my life. I love you baby girl. Now you should get some sleep. I'll tuck you in."
Bella watched her little girl go upstairs with a smile. She knew that even though things were hard for her family God would provide for them. When she tucked Renesmee into bed she said "Baby girl I want you to know how proud I am of you. We've been through so much and you have never complained. I don't ever want you to lose heart. Even if things seem impossible God will provide. Nothing is unreachable when you are walking with him. Goodnight Renesmee and remember that I love you."