❀ The Son Of Ipswich's Swan❀
Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight. All rights belong to Stephanie Meyer. I also do not own The Covenant. All rights belong to the appropriate owners.
Summary - After Bella finally snaps out of her zombie stage, she re-establishes a friendship that has long since been neglected since her move to Forks, Washington.
Will this old friendship, lead her to the fresh start in life she so desperately needs and wants or will it lead her to even more heartache and pain than what she has already experienced?
Key -
'Inner Thoughts…'
"Spoken Conversation…"
**Letters, Emails Text Messages, Invitations …**
❀ Prologue ❀
Bella
January 2nd 2006: Forks, Washington ~ 10.24 am
How could I have become so infatuated and obsessed with not only him, but his family as well to the point I forgot not only who I was, but who realistically should have never been forgotten at all. My Dad; Charlie, My Mom; Renee and My Best Friend Kate.
I have been asking myself the same question's over and over again, since I managed to snap out of my zombie stage. The zombie stage that came about back in September 2005, when Edward had taken my hand and led me into the woods to talk; or better yet make an announcement that would rock the very foundations of the world I had started to create for and around him and his family. The shocking divulge of information that would ruin the plans I had for the future, the ultimate sacrifice I was only too willing to make in order to be with him forever was; that he and his family was leaving, and those plan in no way included me tagging along.
I can still remember the very words he and I said to one another with perfect clarity all those months ago, even without the remarkable memory of a vampire.
He was standing outside my house, after I got home from school, I had just finished parking my burnt sienna of a monster truck in the drive when he walked up to me and opened the door to my truck.
"Come, take a walk with me Bella" he said softly as he reached to help me out of the truck, shut the door and take my hand and lead me on a familiar trail into the woods from the left side of my house.
All the while we were walking I was thinking something is going to happen; something bad, I just couldn't determine what the outcome was going to be and how badly it would affect us or me in general.
I would later remember that during those few moments I was still in blissful ignorance that I had Alice's gift, because if I had, had her gift it might have saved me a lot of heartache in the long run.
When Edward unexpectedly stops in front of a fallen tree, he quickly brings me back to the present, and out of my inner thoughts.
He lets go of my hand and turns to face me, with a look on his face I have only seen in the most dire of situations; which means I was right; whatever this conversation entails, means nothing good.
"We need to leave"
"What?...What do you mean leave" I said, generally shocked.
"It's just time…People at the hospital are starting to notice things about Carlisle; like how he's supposed to be 10 years older than he actually looks."
"Okay…But when are you thinking of leaving" I asked timidly .
"Now" he replied, no feeling in his voice, and no emotion in his eyes; both of which confused me greatly.
"Oh okay…, I'll…I'll need to come up with something to tell Charlie…however I can be ready in…"
"NO, not you…Just us." he interrupted me before I could finish my sentence, sending me reeling.
Stunned, I asked "Does this have anything to do with what happened with Jasper…because if it does, that was nothing…? "
"It has everything do with it Bella, it just shows me that you don't belong in my world…you don't belong with me"
"You don't mean that…because I do…I do belong with you" I replied, even as I felt that start of my heart breaking.
"DON'T YOU GET IT"
"Get what…that you're trying to push me away over something that I don't even care about, I just want to be with you…" I was on the verge of crying and I don't know much longer I was going to be able to keep them at bay.
"I DON'T WANT YOU AT ALL"
"You…don't…You don't want me" I whispered out in misery.
"No..."
Finally understanding, I took a step back; trying to breath despite my heart shattering and my soul screaming out in denial.
I still couldn't believe that this was real, and not just a nightmare; It can't be right, not after everything we've been through, not with how much we love each other.
A few minutes passed, or was it hours I didn't know; I couldn't seem to keep track of anything other than the millions of pieces my heart was breaking into, when he suddenly spoke to me; making me look upon his breathtakingly beautiful face before looking into his golden eyes with hope in mine that he had changed his mind.
"I would like you to grant me a favor, a promise really?"
"Anything?" I said readily
"I want you to be careful, don't do anything reckless…do you understand? Not for me but for Charlie's sake…and…Just look after yourself."
"I…yes..I mean…I will"
It might of just been my imagination, but for just a brief second I could've sworn that he looked at me like he used to, with that warm gleam that always had my heart jumping up into my throat; a look that turned his golden eyes into something resembling melted honey; but it was gone just as soon as I blinked.
"Time…All you need is time, You're human and because you won't be reminded of us when we're gone, all you will need is time to heal your wounds…that's all your kind seem too need."
He said delivering the final blow to my already shattered being, but with nothing else holding be back I plead with him one last time.
"Time won't heal my wounds…I can't…I need you…I need to be with you.."
"Bella, please try to understand, your fragile and I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not just to be with you."
"Then change me, make me like you, take my soul…I don't need it I just need you." I said desperately
"I'm sorry Bella, I have carried on with this charade for far too long…I simply can't do this anymore…But I promise it will be like I never existed. Goodbye…Bella".
That was the final straw, and the dam broke and the tears I had tried so hard to keep at bay cascaded down my face like twin waterfalls as I watched the person I had come to love more than anything, kiss my forward and walk away without so much as a glance back.
It would take a little while for me to get my baring back, but when I did I couldn't just let it end like this, so I started following him, screaming out his name till I was literally blue in the face, hoping; praying he would come back to me.
This went on for a while till the woods became too dense for the light to penetrate through the leaves of the tree's, till I was overwhelmed by the fact I was totally lost and that he wouldn't be becoming back.
I collapsed on to the brown and dark green foliage below me, I then curled into a ball in order tokeep myself warm, and welcomed the darkness that was calling out to me; wishing I never had to wake up to a world that didn't involve him.
It would be nearly 4 months till I could even utter or think his or any of his families names without having a nervous breakdown, and it would be nearly just as long before I could even start attempting to repair the damage my relationship with Edward and my zombie phase had caused not only to myself, but to my family and friends.
Thankfully I had managed to fix things with my mom pretty easily, she was a go with the flow kind of woman and wasn't really here to see me at my worse moments so a few promises to never let it happen again and to keep in touch she was okay. Not what you would call a typical mother-daughter relationship, but it worked for us.
My dad on the other hand was another matter entirely; he was here for the bad and the downright ugly moments of my zombie stages; for example my nightly screaming routine of nightmares, that would put even a banshee to shame.
Slowly and surely, taking baby steps and having many heart to hearts with someone who was familiar with the concept of a broken heart we were able to not only mend our relationship but start the healing process of being able to move forward with our lives, after all there are plenty more fish in the sea and all that jazz.
So that is what leads to me sitting at my desk, staring at the blank open screen of my email account on my computer, mulling over just how to go about writing a letter that would hopefully get me back in communication with my best; and only true friend. The person I had long since lost the privilege to call my friend let alone my best friend since my return to Forks, Washington and introduction to all things Edward and Cullen related.
Realizing that procrastination wasn't getting me anywhere; I decided to just take a leap and jump right in; which sort of meant forgetting about everything else and start typing and with a bit of luck my brain and heart would sync up and come up with something that was heartfelt and could be understood.
From: Hells-Bells-Bella
To: Kit-Kat-Kate
Subject: Hello:- Please read before deleting
Date / Time: Monday 2nd January 2006
Hi Kit-Kat,
There aren't enough words in the word to describe how sorry I am for the way I outright abandoned you for no reason other than for a boy.
I can only tell you, that something came over me when we first met and I wouldn't call it love at first sight; maybe lust at first sight, because the only way I can describe Edward would be that he was something otherworldly and everything about him just captivated you, and it did just that to me. I became so engrossed with him I lost sight of everything that made me who I was, till all I could see was him and his family.
I threw away everything I once held so near and dear to me, for something that was doomed from the get go, only I was to blind to see at the time. I'm not trying to excuse anything, just trying to explain how everything came about and it seems like I'm doing a rubbish job of it. But eventually it did turn into love, or what I thought was love at the time, but after thinking it over and over and then analyzing everything between us with a fine tooth comb it was an obsession, an addiction nothing more.
What you have with Pogue is love, its healthy, sometimes chaotic but not to the point your dependant on him, or you lose yourself to him and that's what happened to me. I became too reliant on him and his family.
4 months after he essentially dumped me and left me to fend for myself in the woods of all places, and getting over the pain of losing not only him but his family as well. I can safely say I'm me again and I don't ever won't to lose that.
I want to eventually fall in love again, have a family of my own and all those other wonderful things that come with being in love, just not at the expense of losing my family and my friends; cause your more than just my best friend Kit-Kat your my sister, in all but blood and you have been since that fateful summer when Renee and I moved to Ipswich when I was 7 and you were 6.
I know it will take a lot of time, and grovelling to gain not only your trust and forgiveness but also your friendship.
All I'm asking for his a chance to redeem myself .
I miss you so much,
Love
Bells
Author Note - Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it.