My Plea For Forgiveness:

First of all, I want to say, when it's one o'clock in the morning and you're on your sixth cup of coffee you write the weirdest things. o_O

The idea for this fic was not mine - it belongs to my fourteen-year-old Egyptian friend (no names) who is in love with Arnold Vosloo. :) (Guess who plays the part of Anck-su-namun in this fic? C'mon! Guess.)

Yes, I am insane. O.o

 Ashley Ferguson is an actual friend of mine.

'Dullard' is slang for 'stupid'. :P

'Prigging' is a British term for 'snobbish'.

I owneth not these characters. Sueth me not.

Okay, I do own some of the characters, but you can probably tell which ones are mine.

Yes, it is another of my blurring-the-line-between-fiction-and-reality-so-badly-you-get-dizzy fics. Deal with it.

Darth Maligna writes the funniest crap. :) Read 'The Dot Matrix'.

Eat at Joe's.

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Some Deranged Psycho Story

Los Angeles, CA - 2002

The kids in Mrs. Dullard's 9th grade squirmed nervously in their seats. Today was the day their new exchange student was scheduled to arrive.

Victoria Prigging leaned over to her best friend, Ashley Ferguson and smiled wickedly. They and their gang had a reputation for being exceptionally rude to new students, and even the old ones. Their gang was obsessed with a few things: The movie 'The Mummy', Ancient Egypt, clothes, makeup, boys, the usual.

The gang consisted of six girls - Victoria, Ashley, Jessica, Margaret, Janice, and Pat. They had formed a club called 'The Mummy Club'. Since they were studying Ancient Egypt in class and the new movie 'The Mummy' had just been released on video, rotting, dehydrated corpses were all the rage.

One issue on Ancient Egypt they girls all loved was the story of Anck-su-namun and Imhotep. It said in their history books that, unlike the movie, Anck-su-namun had been only thirteen when she and Imhotep fell in love, and only fourteen when they murdered the Pharaoh.

It was not uncommon in Ancient Egypt for large age differences like that to occur, but even so, the people at Universal thought it would be best to cast someone Arnold Vosloo's age for the part of his lost love.

What interested the girls the most is that it was real. Imhotep did endure the Hom-Dai and awake in 1926. The second movie, though, was a work of pure fiction. Imhotep had only awoken once.

"So, are we going to make fun of her or what?" Victoria smirked. "I bet she's ugly and fat and--"

The classroom door opened and a tall, gorgeous, olive-skinned girl walked inside. She had long jet black hair with bangs, and dark almond-shaped eyes that ended in a line, like Egyptians'. She was wearing the school uniform, a navy skirt and a tight white blouse that showed off her full chest. On her hands there were a pair of small, white, gloves. All the girls gaped.

Mrs. Dullard cleared her throat. "Ah, yes. This is our new student--" She looked at the piece of paper on her desk, "Anque-soo-naymin." She pronounced oddly.

The girl whispered something into her ear. Mrs. Dullard blushed. "Ah, yes. Anck-su-namun." She said. "Anck-su-namun is our new exchange student from Egypt, right?"

The girl, Anck-su-namun nodded and flashed a brilliantly white, absolutely charming smile at the class. She looked like one of the friendliest people you'd ever meet, sort of like Sandy in 'Grease'.

"Hello." She said with a definite British accent.

"Does anyone have any questions for Anck-su-namun?" Mrs. Dullard asked the class.

A couple people raised their hands. Anck-su-namun pointed at Jessica, who had her hand in the air.

"Why do you have a British accent if you're from Egypt?" She asked.

"The person who taught me to speak English spoke with a British accent, so, naturally, I picked it up."

Next she called on Jeffery, one of the class's two jokesters.

"Are you the resurrected Anck-su-namun from Ancient Egypt?" He joked.

Anck-su-namun grinned. "Why, of course I am! What made you think otherwise?" The class laughed.

Carrie, a small, mousy bookworm, was next. "Where did you get your name?"

"My father was a great lover of Ancient Egypt. He named me after the famous concubine who murdered Seti I."      

Tommy, the other (and perverted) class clown raised his hand.

"Was Imhotep good in bed?"

"Oh, yes. Very good." She laughed, going along with the joke. So did the rest of the class.

"Okay, enough of this." Mrs. Dullard scorned, "Anck-su-namun, you may take the empty desk next to Pat, over there."

Anck-su-namun nodded and sat down next to Pat.