Some Rain Must Fall
Be still, sad heart, and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.
The Rainy Day by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Steve peered warily up at the Beach House, as he calculated his chances of slipping quietly in through his own rarely used entrance, without alerting his father to the fact that he was home. As had become his habit over the last few days, he had delayed at the station as long as he could. Unfortunately, all that the voluntary overtime had achieved was an amazingly clean desk and an enforced two days off – 'as reward for finishing your paperwork Sloan' Captain Newman had said, his eyes gleaming sardonically at the look of dismay the order had evoked. The captain didn't know exactly what was wrong with his best detective – Sloan should have jumped at a chance to enjoy the perfect weather they were having from the beach rather than from within a cramped police station - but the sudden devotion to paperwork certainly deserved to be rewarded appropriately. In any case it had been a very boring and slow couple of weeks in homicide and the Captain strongly believed that his detectives should seize the opportunity to rest up before all this calm came to a stormy end. Thus, despite his best efforts to convince his Captain otherwise, Steve found himself, this Wednesday evening with a two day holiday – in addition to the weekend where he would be on call but not expected to come in to work.
Under other circumstances, Steve would have been delighted. Work was slow, both at the police station and for a change, at the hospital where his father and best friends worked. The weather was just right for surfing and dirt biking and he knew that it would be easy to persuade his dad to take a little fishing trip with him, if he so wanted. And there was the crux of the problem – his dad. A few months earlier Mark had suffered from a broken leg, necessitating the introduction of a homecare nurse into the Beach House. Nurse Sudie had been working at Community General and had taken a good look at Mark and decided that he was the answer to her romantic prayers. To cut a long story short, Steve was forced to hire her to look after his father while he was convalescing at home – earning Mark's very vocal wrath, as a result. Even after Mark had no longer needed her services, Sudie had accepted a job at a neighbour's house and often dropped in to see Mark and reassure herself that he was 'managing without her'. Despite Mark's frequent threats of dire vengeance, Steve had been unable to hide his amusement at the situation and had teased his father over his apparent irresistibility to women.
Then about ten days ago, it had all gone wrong. It was the day of the annual Community General picnic.
'Thank God you're here!' Mark sounded more frazzled than Steve would have expected. Normally, Mark loved the picnics and was a warm and well loved figure, entertaining the children of the hospital staff with his magic tricks and enchanting older family members with jokes, tap dancing and little song bursts. If anything, it was Steve who was generally a little nervous at such occasions, never quite sure what his father would talk him into helping with. One memorable time when he had cajoled his son into acting as a target for the egg throwing booth came instantly to mind. And there was the infamous magic trick with the swords – though that was in the hospital rather than at a picnic. Still Mark knew he could talk Steve into pretty much anything and he volunteered his son's help generously at all such gatherings. This year Steve had promised himself that he would be firm and just keep saying no – a firm, no-nonsense, no arguments no! Mark's evident agitation however, broke through his resolve. 'What's wrong Dad?' He asked solicitously. 'Anything I can do to help?'
'Yes, Steve. I've just had a call from the hospital – one of my patients has had a couple of seizures. She's been stabilised but I really need to go in and check up on her, both for my own peace of mind as well as her husband's. I need you to take my place here making sure that everything goes smoothly.' He held up his hand to stop Steve's instinctive protest. 'Jesse is looking after the food and Amanda has organised a clown and games for the children. But we need someone to make sure that everyone is enjoying themselves and no one feels left out. So just mix around – tell a few jokes – smile a lot … that's all you have to do.'
'I'll try dad' Steve sounded doubtful even to himself. It wasn't that he couldn't do all those things; it was just that the families were used to his father's unique style and Steve knew that he would only disappoint as a substitute. Mark smiled at him, relieved.
'Come on, Steve, it's only for an hour or so' he mocked gently 'didn't your parents ever teach you to socialise? It'll be a snap. Oh and don't forget to enjoy yourself as well. I'll be back in a couple of hours'.
'Now where have I heard that before' Steve grumbled back 'oh yes, that's what you say just before you disappear for the whole day' As his father laughed, heading towards the car park, he couldn't resist shouting after him 'And there's quite a lot of stuff that my parents never taught me, dad!' Getting only the sound of renewed and distant chuckling in response, he turned away to gaze apprehensively across the picnic crowd.
Actually the reality had turned out far better than Steve could have imagined. A quick bantering exchange with Jesse in front of a small but appreciative audience of staff and family got him into the right frame of mind. Unconsciously basing his conversational style on various memories of watching his father socialise over the years, he found himself enjoying the response from all those he talked to. Hearing a slightly amazed Jesse comment to Amanda 'hey look who turned into Mark Junior', gave him a strange sort of pleasure. All his life he had been the solid reliable and more taciturn foil to his father's conversational enthusiasms. He could joke around with close friends but he didn't have Mark's outgoing personality and the warmth that endeared him to total strangers. To be suddenly even moderately successful at emulating Mark's style was heady. It was the novelty of the sensation that proved to be his subsequent downfall. Carried away by his success in making people laugh, he found himself relating some funny bits of the Sudie-Mark episode. The hospital staff, who knew both the principle actors well, were delighted. And Steve found himself the centre of attention as he pulled out a few of the more embarrassing gems from the 'relationship' for their consumption.
By the time Mark returned, the food had been served and everyone's attention had shifted to focus almost exclusively on pizzas and hamburgers and ribs from Bobs. It was not till the lunch was finished that Mark discovered that his friends and colleagues were surprisingly knowledgeable about Sudie's pursuit of him as a potential husband. He laughed away a host of teasing comments through the rest of the picnic, but his gaze when it rested on his son, was grim. Effortlessly recognising the danger signals, Steve tried to invite Jesse and Amanda home to act as buffers, but Jesse had a date to get to, and Amanda was due back at work for a late shift.
It had been a long time since Steve had been on the receiving end of Mark's wrath. Mark rarely lost his temper and almost never with his beloved son. Unlike Steve's more explosive outbursts, Mark got cold and icy, his diction more precise and his words sharp enough to sting badly. That night he told Steve exactly what he thought of his having held up poor Sudie for ridicule in front of her erstwhile colleagues.
'I don't mind being the butt of jokes, Steven, but you had absolutely no right to turn that poor woman's life into a joke. You know, I shouldn't have to remind you of all people that having feelings for the wrong person isn't funny – or have you conveniently forgotten your own record in that respect?'
Having rendered his son speechless, first with guilt and then with ever growing resentment, Mark erected an uncharacteristic wall of chilly disapproval and retiring behind it, immersed himself in work from the hospital for the rest of the evening. Steve was left to work his anger out first in a long run on the beach and then at the punching bag in the gym.
By the next morning, however, Mark had recovered his customary good temper. Ever since Steve had first joined the Police Academy, he had made it a rule not to let Steve leave the house with angry words between them. The fight with Carol that resulted in eight years worth of silence had only strengthened his resolve to not make the same mistake with his son. Steve, on his part, too was very aware that if he left things as they were, he might never get a chance to make up with his father. Years ago, a friend of his from his academy days had taught him that lesson the hard way. As Pete lay dying from a stab wound, his last words had been a desperate attempt to convey an apology and love to his wife of three months, with whom he had fought the night before. Fighting tears at the funeral, a much younger Steve promised himself that he would not make the same mistake with his parents and Carol. Well, now his mother was dead and he had broken his promise with Carol, but he knew even through his still smouldering resentment, that it would devastate Mark if he died while on bad terms with his father.
The fight was resolved but not forgotten. Over the next few days, Mark went out of his was to normalise things with Steve, and Steve did his best to get over his own anger. He was ashamed at sharing details about Sudie's feelings for Mark to get a few laughs, but he was also bitter about the scolding he had received for it. Not only had Mark yelled at him as if he were a teenager instead of a full grown adult, some of the things he had said had hit a nerve. In addition, he was well aware that Mark was still facing a lot of teasing especially from Jesse, and that he wasn't ready to completely let his son off the hook for that. It would not come up in any subsequent fight – Mark had said all he was going to on that subject – but he would get his revenge in some fashion. Steve and Jesse pranked each other all the time but they rarely included Mark and Amanda in their pranks. Neither was a safe subject because they had excellent track records at getting revenge, and very embarrassing revenge at that. A long time ago, Steve had had occasion to read his father his rights after his father had committed a breaking and entering offence. It had been both a joke and warning to get his father to stay away from unsafe meddling in murder. Not only had that end not been achieved, Mark had got his revenge a few weeks later when he had invited himself over to Steve's precinct for lunch and reminisced loudly and publicly over Steve's toddler photos. The one of Steve as an almost three year old playing naked in the garden had done the rounds of the precinct for days, before becoming a centrepiece on the recreation area bulletin board. No, Steve was very sure that he hadn't heard the last of the picnic fiasco.
Coming back to the present, Steve sighed as he realised that there was no chance that he could successfully avoid Mark for long. The Sloans were in the habit of eating dinner together whenever they were both home, and since the fight ten days ago, Mark had worked harder to ensure that tradition. Not even Steve's recent late nights in the office had deterred him. Whereas in other times, he might have eaten without waiting for Steve to come home, in the last few days, Mark had made it a point to hold dinner. Steve knew it was his father's way of apologising for having had to 'lay down parental law'. Unfortunately between a lingering resentment over that and a wary caution regarding possible reprisals from Mark, Steve was in no mood to spend much time with his father. Jesse and Amanda were no help. Amanda outright refused to intervene, having seen for herself that something was a little amiss between Steve and Mark. Jesse, more oblivious, had spent the entire time on his last visit, teasing Mark on the Sudie entanglement as he referred to it. Since it only raised bad memories, Steve had been only too thankful when Jesse's new girlfriend demanded all of his attention outside the hospital.
As Steve had predicted, Mark called out a greeting as he finally let himself into the house. 'Late again son – your captains really been working you hard hasn't he? Anyway, dinners ready whenever you are' Marks voice was determinedly cheerful. All through dinner, as he had for the last few days, Mark kept up a cheerful commentary on his patients and on the hospital gossip. Steve joined in as normally as he could but both father and son were well aware that their interaction these days was not as comfortable as it generally was. And neither was quite sure how, or even whether, the constraint between them could be lifted.