Level 1- Physical: The need to satisfy basic needs of hunger, thirst, sleep, and shelter.
Mary was hungry. Starving, even. She looked at, thought of, food, and, against herself, her mouth began to water, just imagining the taste, the feeling of not being deprived. And yet, she couln't bring herself to eat. Not anymore, or she felt gross, sick, like a monster. Horrible. And she knew there was only one way for Mary to ease that feeling.
It was selfish, she knew. People around her were literally dying for food, and there she was: offered food, and turning it down, or wasting it with her finger. The prees needed her. The daycare system would collapse without her, Mother Mary. John could try, she knew. He'd try to handle things with the few volunteers they had, but it would never work, not for long. She wasn't trying to starve herself; just trying to satisfy the poison in her mind that wouldn't let up. She knew she should eat. She knew she shouldn't throw up. Yet, there was no way to stop it.
She'd tried, before. Collapsing on the bathroom floor, huddled up, her malnourished body racked with sobs. She was disgusted with herself, the pure selfishness of herself, and she could not stop. Mary had whispered promises to herself, empty ones, such as: "You're fine, you're beautiful, you don't need to lose more, you shouldn't be doing this, you're hurting yourself, YOU'RE FINE." As if it were an antidote. But posion never gave in. It never would.
Mary tried to smile for the littles. It was difficult- every time her lips pulled into an artificial, saleswoman smile, she just felt worse. But the littles were her responsibility, and she wasn't going to cry. Not in front of them. Even if she had to smile through her tears, a smile more fake than the illusinary sky, she tried to. And they didn't know the difference. Lucky kids, she couldn't help but think.
"Mother Mary," she whispered to her reflection with a short, unenthusiastic laugh. "Born on Mothers' Day. Can look after every little in Perdido Beach. And yet, can't take care of herself."