The following is a fictitious account, from a fan's perspective. The author is the famous fan-fiction artist Edmund E. Mann.

Battle Star Galactus: Battle for Capricorn

You know all about Battle Star Galactus, right? Well if you don't there are a lot of characters. Admirable Amidala is the head honcho, he's the captain of the Battle Star Galactus. Starbucks is his daughter, she's a real mean momma, always going on about this and that. She has an opinion about everything, even things a woman would know nothing about (war, bravery, etc.) Starbucks' brother is named Othello, he's the Captain of the Air Group. For some reason everyone calls him Cab, maybe I will write a story about that some day.

Then there are the bad guys, they are these crazy robots called the Sigh Lawns. Nobody knows where they got that name. There are a ton of Sigh Lawns, Al from Quantum Leap, Xenia, all your favorites are probably there. The Sigh Lawns best friend is named Gaius Ackbar. He's this cool doctor who's always sassing off and speaking British. He's all class so he gets along with everyone.

All the people live on Capricorn and they are always fighting with the Sigh Lawns. Well one day the Sigh Lawns said frag this, we're gonna blow every damn thing up. Well Admirable Amidala sure was scared, so he ran to the Galactus and he ran away. The humans and the Sigh Lawns fought some more, there were actually quite a few fight scenes.

Here is a recap of some of the fights. In one part a Sigh Lawn uses his laser eye beams to melt one of the people. In another scene one of the people sees a bunch of Sigh Lawns coming, rubs his eyes, and throws away his bottle of vodka. So of course they dubbed a laugh track in over that, in the movie biz they call something like that cosmic relief.

But really Battle Star Galactus is not a funny story, it's a trajectory. All the people get their butts kicked and they turn tail and run. Even the President, Roseanne, gets scared of the Sigh Lawns and runs away. There are some battles in outer space, just imagine any battle from Star Track if you've ever seen that show, it's about the same.

After the Battle for Capricorn, Halo and his sister Sherrie get stuck on Capricorn, and they get into all sorts of dumb adventures.

Anyway things pretty much go hog wild from there, I'm sure you can guess a lot of the surprises but anyway I'll write them into this story cause I believe the written word is a purer form of art than television, cause you gotta use your imagination. There are a lot of medaphores and cinnamons and stuff like that in writing, and I like practicing using fancy, big words (for example, earlier in the story I used "mean momma" when most people would have said "tough cookie," because I read a lot of books and I know a lot of words). What I'm saying is that you should keep reading this because I'm really smart, because I know a ton about reading and writing and because I have seen every episode of Battle Star Galactus so I probably know more about the show than 97 of people.

Here's some Battle Star Galactus trivia: Has Dark Vader ever been on Battle Star Galactus? Think about it and I will put the answer in the next chapter.