'Eylo, dear people. Does anyone remember me ...? DHF? No? Well, to be fair, I've been inactive in this fandom for several months. But I was skimming through my documents today on the bus, and found this fic- it didn't seem to horrible, so I thought, "Hey, why not post it?" Obviously it's a Sue parody. But I also tried to drum up a plot for once; let's see how that works out. This chapter is more of an introduction, it's quite short.

It all started as Steve was driving Ponyboy, Johnny, and Two-Bit home from school. It was a relatively normal Thursday carpool, Two-Bit trying to grab the steering wheel, Pony scribbling down a few homework questions in the back seat. Oh yes, all was going according to some unwritten plan that things must stay normal on a Thursday afternoon.

But that unsaid, well-rehearsed plan was ruined as something out of the ordinary happened- they spotted a girl on the side of the road. Steve was intending to drive past her without another thought- but his feet were having thoughts of their own, and the boys soon found themselves pulled over, the girl climbing into the vehicle. But she ... she was no ordinary girl, oh no.

Her lustrous, long locks cascaded down her back, flowing to her waist. They were the color of honey and sunshine, with highlights of brassy-bronzy-copper-gold. She flipped her mane around and it spun in slow-motion, like a Pantene commercial- and what's more, didn't choke anyone in the small car. She did, however, end up whipping Ponyboy in the face. He was about to tell her to watch it, but he was distracted by how soft, silky, smooth and supple it felt against his skin. He had the sudden urge to grab a tendril and rub it to his cheek.

Johnny, however, was immediately mesmerized by her eyes. A swirling mix of stormy gray, ocean blue and sea green, with hazel, chocolate, and violet undertones, looking like beautiful kaleidoscopes. Bright and lively, laughing and dancing with joy ... yet Johnny could tell that they were masking her pain, and that she had a dark past like his. They seemed to search his very soul, even though she had her piercing gaze focused in the opposite direction.

The girl smiled, showing perfect, blindingly white, straight teeth. A smile that to anyone else appeared to be open, reserved, shy, outgoing, inviting and friendly all at once.

But truly, it was a smile of devilish delight- she hadn't even been in the car for five seconds, and had already snagged two of the four boys- oh, the boss was going to be so pleased!

Steve asked, "Um- what's your name?"

The girl smiled again and giggled. "Dewdrop Meadowlight," she answered. At the sound of her voice, the greasers were plunged into the world of purple prose once again. Her voice was musical, tinkling with a thousand bells. Smooth and flowing ... Two-Bit wondered absurdly if this was how warm maple syrup would sound if it could talk ... but that wasn't going to hinder him from making fun of a stupid name like that.

Or so he thought.

"That's ..." he began, planning on saying 'the weirdest name I ever heard, and I hang out with two guys named Ponyboy and Sodapop! Honestly, kid, what were your parents smoking?'

What instead came out of his mouth was the word "... b- beautiful ..."

Three down, thought Dewdrop, one to go.

And with that, she spilled her guts. No, she didn't puke, though if she did, it would have smelled like lilacs and glittered with diamonds and rainbows. She told the boys her whole history, from the first time her dad had slapped her and she had roundhouse-punched him in return at age five- all the way up until now, and the stories becoming increasingly violent as they went on. She tried valiantly to gain Steve's sympathy, but ... to no avail. However, in one particularly bloody scene, Ponyboy passed out.

Oh my God!" screeched Johnny, "We have to c-call Darry! W-We have to get P-Pony to the Healing Couch!" He was absolutely hysterical. Dewdrop gasped inwardly. OOC never took hold this early on! It had to be a new record!

"No!" Dewdrop exclaimed, "I have a better idea- my house is just around this corner! You can take him in there!"

"Quickly! B-Before we l-lose him altogether!"

While Johnny was sobbing and hugging Pony, Dewdrop turned towards the window and pulled out a futuristic-looking device. It was actually a cell phone, and the targets certainly didn't need to see it.

Coming in 5, she typed quickly and quietly, bring reinforcements: 1 undazzled, 2 dazzled, 1 unconscious. Dewdrop couldn't resist bragging, so she added, New OOC record: 5.1 mins.

Oh noes! Whatever shall happen to our Greasers? What in the Hell is Dewdrop even talking about? Why is Steve immune? Find out in the next chapter, up soon!
I don't want to beg for reviews, because that get annoying, eh? But even if it's just a 'I liked it' or 'You know, this needs some work', I'd appreciate it. But I would really enjoy some feedback, if possible.~
DHF out.