A/N
Happy Thanksgiving! I know this is late, but better late than never right? Just a quick Zagr for you! Enjoy and review!
I do NOT own Invader Zim, etc.
"Contacts."
Two lenses were placed in his hand.
"Wig."
A black heap was handed over.
"Comb."
His smug grin faded when something cold and squishy made contact with his outstretched hand.
"Gir," he sighed, "this is pudding."
The robot nodded vigorously.
"No, Gir. A comb is a plastic device humans use to repair their filthy hair, or so I have heard. Pudding is the repulsive treat they are determined to consume until they explode like little worms!"
After Zim's rant was over, Gir clapped his hands and curled into a ball, rolling around on the floor.
"I swear, sometimes I wonder how sane you are," he huffed, retrieving a comb from the metallic arm jutting out of the wall. He strode to the bathroom and placed himself before a mirror. Gir followed, smiling while squeezing a rubber pig.
"Just wait until the Gaz-human sees this," he exclaimed, admiring his reflection.
"But why are you going over to her house?" the small robot sniffled, a lone tear rolling down his face. "Why can't she come over here?"
"First, I doubt Gaz would ever eat Irken food again," he pointed out. An involuntary shiver ran throughout him as he recalled a time in which he tricked her into trying his native food. It was an experience he would rather forget. And, when thinking over what she did to him afterwards, he was surprised amnesia had not taken the memory away by now. "Second, this 'Day of Turkey' is supposedly the perfect opportunity in order to meet her parental unit. I just hope the Dib-beast does not interfere. I already promised my love-pig I would not harm the human," he puffed, annoyed.
Gir nodded gleefully, but peeked over his shoulder and screamed loudly. Zim cringed, hands lifting to cling protectively to his ears. If he had any.
"What is wrong now?" he hollered.
"Master," he pointed at Zim's reflection, "they made another you!"
"No, it is simply—"
But again, he screamed.
"It's a clone! It's a clone!"
Zim shook his head, eyes wide as they followed Gir, who ran yelling, out of the room. A crash from the living room vibrated the house.
"Better get going," he droned.
With everything ready, he hopped into the Voot cruiser and set a course to Gaz Membrane's house.
In said house, Gaz brushed past her brother in a vain attempt to ignore him. Three hours, she thought, glancing at her watch, it has been three hours of complaining and he still refuses to shut up.
"Seriously, Gaz! How can you invite him over to our house for Thanksgiving? What if he poisons our food or injects an alien device into the turkey, or—"
Her hand shot up and gripped his lips tightly.
"I am inviting him over for dinner because we have been dating for eight months, he will not poison our food, and," her eyes narrowed, "if you don't shut up, I'll inject an alien device into you."
He gulped and nodded, dropping to the floor when she released him. Behind them, the doorbell rang.
"I swear, Dib," she threatened as she walked over to the door, "if you ruin this evening for me, you will suffer immensely."
She was greeted with flowers and a rubber pig with bulging eyes. 'For my love-pig' was scribbled across the animal's head. Zim beamed proudly.
"Thanks," she smiled bashfully, grabbing the gifts.
Zim could see Dib fuming behind her. Right away, he smirked devilishly. Gaz gasped as Zim grabbed her, dipping her to the ground and kissing her deeply. Just as he had expected, he heard Dib stuttering and sputtering. He pulled away and glanced up at the human.
"Oh, Dib," he stated innocently. "I did not know you were there."
Dib pointed accusingly at the Irken.
"How have you been?" he hissed, grinning evilly.
"Oh, just you wait, Space Boy. My sister will realize what you really are soon enough!"
That received a harsh slap from his little sister. She grabbed Zim's hand to lead him to the kitchen.
"Come on," she said before glaring at her brother darkly.
Zim gagged.
Everywhere, there was food. Human food. A turkey lay proudly at the center of the table with mashed potatoes guarding its left side and cranberry sauce on the right. Stuffing, green bean casserole, pumpkin pie, deviled eggs, rolls, and yams were also present and they were certainly not helping. His squeedlyspooch tightened when he realized her father was busy pulling out even more food from the oven and cupboards.
So much human food, he whimpered.
"Dad," Gaz stepped forward, "this is Zim, my…" her voice dropped shyly low. "…boyfriend."
Zim glanced at her, raising his eyebrows suggestively. She elbowed him to which he simply laughed.
"Ah, yes. The little alien from your school."
Everyone froze, even Dib. Though, he was smiling. Is he finally seeing that Zim is an alien, too, he thought excitedly.
The professor removed his oven mitts which resembled mini versions of himself. "And just what country are you from, young man?"
The entire room relaxed, Dib being the only exception.
"Manhattan," he lied proudly.
Gaz slapped her forehead. Leave it to Zim to only know of a place in the United States!
"Oh, yes. I actually just returned from an over-seas trip from there."
She did not know whether to be grateful that Zim's ridiculous lie was actually bought and no further interrogation was needed, or disappointed by the fact that her genius father did not know that Manhattan was only states away.
"Okay, so are we ready to eat?"
Membrane nodded at his daughter. Although everyone eagerly took a seat, Dib and Zim made it a point not to sit near each other. Dib on one side of the table with Zim directly opposite sending daggers her brother's way was not the way Gaz had planned to spend Thanksgiving.
The food was passed, the glasses were filled, and the evening began. Professor Membrane filled their heads with stories of theories and previous experiments carried out in his lab.
Zim blew nonchalantly at a stray wisp of black hair, stabbing his food in boredom. These humans talk too much…
"So, how did you and Gaz meet?"
Zim focused his attention on the parental unit.
"Huh? Oh, yes. Um," he straightened his uniform respectively.
"She probably met him on a dissection table," Dib sneered.
Beneath the table, Gaz's foot shot through the air and kicked him in the shin. He yelped, pulling away from further harm.
"We go to the same school," she reminded her father.
"Ah, then you must have met Dib before?" he questioned.
"Oh, yes." Zim nodded slowly. "I am well acquainted with the Dib."
The glaring ensued until Gaz cleared her throat. Silent threats sent both of their ways quickly ceased the uncomfortable silence. Dib glared at his plate and shifted the peas around stiffly. Suddenly, an idea crawled into his head.
"Hey, Zim?"
Zim glanced up suspiciously.
"Since you're the guest of honor, I think you should get the first taste of this wonderful green bean casserole!" He presented the dish with high honor and praise.
Gaz stiffened unwillingly.
She knew her dad was not a great cook. Most of the food they had for dinner was usually pre-made, but her father always insisted on hand-making the green bean casserole for Thanksgiving. It was traditional. She shook her head secretly at Zim, though he completely missed the warning as he grasped the pot.
He could feel his squeedlyspooch churn at the disturbing sight in the dish. The green beans were black, clearly burnt. Not to mention hard. The prongs of his fork bent when he tapped them. A pool of lumpy, white liquid smothering the beans gathered, gurgling and bubbling. He screamed and jumped back, dropping the dish onto the table when something reached an arm out. It hissed and pulled back into the murky fluid.
"What's the matter, Zim? Don't you want to try dad's famous casserole?"
"More like infamous," he groaned lowly, watching something resembling a bug float to the top.
"Oh, he can't eat that!" Professor Membrane exclaimed.
The alien sighed in relief.
Quickly, the Professor served a dish of the disgusting food and handed it Zim's way.
"Now he can eat it!"
"Oh, joy," Zim stated in mock joy.
He gulped, heaving a scoop of the goo to his mouth. Dib watched with anticipation. As he chewed, Gaz could hear his teeth cracking when they came in contact with the stiff beans. He lasted about five seconds before he twitched out of his chair and sprinted out of the room. Harsh vomiting could be heard coming from the bathroom.
Gaz shook her head, disappointed.
"Another victim claimed," she mumbled.
When he returned, Zim stared in disbelief as her father waited to hear his thoughts on the dish. Growling, he ripped his chair away from the table and took a seat. Dib's snickers were quickly silenced when a metallic arm jutted from the alien's PAK and shoved the human off of his chair.
"Dib-monkey, are you okay?" he feigned concern.
Eyebrows furrowed Dib accidentally tipped his glass of water. The small stream ran its way onto Zim's lap who howled with pain. A wad of mashed potatoes was flung from one end of the table while a leg of turkey was chucked from the other. The bickering picked up, the insults were thrown, and the accusations were made. Gaz sat in the middle, food flying over her head. Occasionally, a kernel of corn made its way into her hair next to the chunk of pumpkin pie.
She had had enough.
Gaz slammed her fist against the table.
"Just shut up already!"
The two froze, Zim's claw wrapped on Dib's throat and Dib's fist pulled back. Professor Membrane had been too busy playing with his Membrane Mitts to notice. She rose, dragged Zim out of the house, and closed the front door.
"Err…Gaz-love?" he squeaked.
He ducked back when she moved towards him, but relaxed when she kissed him lightly.
"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," she admitted.
Smiling, his arms relaxed around her waist. They dragged her into a deep kiss that was closely watched from her yelling brother in the window. Though, his complaints were drowned out due to the thick glass.
Grinning menacingly, the Irken continued his work on the small beauty in his arms. Zim knew Dib was there. Zim could feel the rage bubbling beneath his skin.
Zim just didn't care.
A/N
Not one of my bests, but I think it was pretty good :). The Membrane Mitts part was what got me XD. Hope you liked it!