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All the love for Laura, for both help and beta'ing.

Word Count - 1743


Once I was 11 Years Old…


Once I was 11 years old…

Sirius knew he was going to crash seconds before he hit the floor with a sickening crunch.

"Sirius!"

With his eyes closed to ward off the nausea, Sirius felt rather than saw James land beside him.

"Are you okay?"

Sirius shook his head, groaning, "Think my leg's broken."

"Hang on," James said, his tone harried. "I'll get mum."

Sirius listened to the footsteps of his best friend move away, and forced himself to concentrate on the rest of his body, to check for more injuries other than the obvious one in his left leg.

Within moments, James was coming back, his mother following rapidly behind him.

"Sirius? You're going to be alright, sweetheart," she murmured comfortingly, settling beside him. "I'm just going to run a diagnostic over you and then I'll heal that leg, okay?"

Sirius nodded, not trusting himself to speak, lest he start crying. Never before had he injured himself and had someone there to look after him. He was so used to taking care of his own injuries.

Walburga Black was quite possibly the least maternal woman planet Earth had ever housed.

He heard the murmur of a spell, and a minute later, a sigh of relief.

"It's just your leg that injured, sweetheart, and it's a clean break. You'll be healed up in a jiffy."

He felt the crack, letting out a whimper, before the relief came over him, the pain ebbing away.

"No more Quidditch," she told them both, once Sirius was sitting up. "Why don't you go and play in the tent for a while until dinner?"

"But Mum —" James began to complain, stopping when she gave him the look.

"Nuh-uh, James," Euphemia said, raising a hand to her head. "Oh, I'm seeing something… something about the future. I think I'm having a prophecy… You two are giving me grey hair before my time!"

The boys laughed at her, and James helped Sirius to stand up, and then wrapped a supportive arm around his back, helping him into the magical tent his father had set up for them for the summer.

It was like their own little home, only they still had the comfort of James' parents just up the garden path.

As James helped Sirius sit down and pulled out the exploding snap, Sirius couldn't help but feel like perhaps he could be part of this family one day.

Once I was 15 years old…

Sirius collapsed into his favoured chair of the magical tent he was spending the summer in with James. Fleamont was with the two boys, leaning heavily on his cane.

"It's going to be a bit of a squeeze in here, once Remus and Peter arrive, isn't it?" He asked, looking around the tent.

James shrugged.

"We'll be fine Mr Potter," Sirius assured him. "We're used to sharing a dorm. We'll just kick Peter outside if he starts snoring."

James snorted. "It's not like you don't do your own share of snoring, Sirius," he said, his tone just a little bit too hard to be a jest.

Sirius didn't reply. James had been snapping at him more and more for the last few months and he didn't quite know what to make of it.

He saw Fleamont raise his eyebrow at his son, but he didn't call him on his rudeness.

"I'll leave you two to it," he said, nodding. "Your mother will call you for dinner."

As Fleamont left, Sirius raised his eyebrow at James.

"You wanna tell me what's going on with you?" He asked, sitting forward in the chair to rest his elbows on his knees, his head resting on his palms.

"Nothing."

"Yeah? Because your mood says different. I can go home if you want time alone with your parents, James. It's not a problem."

It had been worrying Sirius that he'd overstayed his welcome in James' family life, and he was beginning to feel like a spare part — unwanted.

James met his eyes and Sirius saw him soften. "Don't be stupid. Of course I don't want you to leave."

"Then tell me what I did to piss you off."

James shook his head. "It's nothing you did, I swear. I just… it's me. I'll get over it, I promise. Come on, let's go raid the kitchen, you know Remus will want chocolate when he gets here."

The two of them stood up and headed for the tent exit, but James stopped Sirius with a hand on his arm.

"There's more than one kind of family. You might not be a Potter, but you're as good as. And… you're family to me, okay?"

Sirius nodded, his heart swelling. "Okay."

Once I was 17 years old…

"It was self defence, I swear," James was protesting, as his mum told him off. Sirius sat off to the side, laughing.

"Laugh it up," Euphemia said, turned her attention his way. "I'm willing to bet money that you were the leader of that little battle, Sirius, so don't think you'll escape from me unscathed."

Sirius nodded, the picture of remorse. He'd never felt the need to fear Mrs Potter's punishments, mostly because they were chores that they'd be rewarded for completing.

Sure enough, ten minutes later, the two of them were de-gnoming the garden.

"Heard anything from McKinnon?" James asked out of nowhere, when they were about half way done.

Sirius shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Nah. I told you on the train, we broke up."

James shrugged. "Girls change their minds a lot."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah. But I broke up with her so…"

Oddly, James' mood seemed to get better after that. Sirius couldn't fathom why, but when his best friend was in such good humour, it always meant good times were about to happen, so he put the reason from his mind and got ready to enjoy the laughs.

Once I was 18 years old…

"I can't just sit back and do nothing, Dad," James said, his tone hard. "People are dying. We can't let evil take over, it's just not an option."

Fleamont sighed. "It's only good versus evil if that's what you turn it into, James. This isn't your battle, I don't want you acting like you're preparing for war."

James shook his head. "He's recruiting, Dad. Do you really think that when I tell him to shove his ideals up his arse, he's just going to let me walk away? I know you're scared, we all are, but you taught me to always fight for what I believe in. Joining the Order will be me doing that."

Fleamont was silent for a moment, before he asked, "You're joining together?"

Sirius nodded from where he was standing by the fireplace.

"You'll look after each other," Fleamont said, with no questioning implications. "And if you get in above your heads, you'll come to me. I don't want to lose a son."

Sirius' heart warmed when Fleamont looked at them both when he made his statement.

James nodded. "You won't lose us, Dad."

Pressing a kiss to his dad's cheek, James left the room, squeezing Sirius' shoulder as he passed.

Sirius looked at Fleamont for a long moment.

"I'll look after him."

Fleamont nodded. "I know, son. You always have."

Once I was 20 years old…

"James! James, dammit, I promised your dad I'd look after you! Don't you fucking dare die, he'll be well pissed at me!"

James coughed out a laugh, blood leaking out onto his chin.

"You'll be alright," Sirius promised him, holding his hand tightly as he looked around them for an escape route. "You'll be fine."

"Sirius," James whispered, his eyes dulling with every second that slipped past. "You have to know… you have to know that I love you. I always. I always loved you."

"Stop being a sap, you're going to be fine," Sirius snapped, spotting an opening in the fighting. He conjured a stretcher beneath James, making sure he was secure before he levitated him. "But I love you too, dammit."

"He lost a lot of blood, but we've healed him as best we can. He'll be sore for a while, but he'll live."

Sirius felt like the stone that had been holding him upright in the uncomfortable hospital waiting room dissolved inside him, and he collapsed inwardly, falling onto his knees.

"You saved him," Fleamont said from the seat beside him. "You saved him, Sirius."

Sirius looked up at Fleamont. "Thanks… Dad."

Fleamont smiled. "Go on and see him, son. I'll just nip home and tell Euphemia that he's okay. I'll be back later."

Sirius nodded, his heart clenching at the mention of Euphemia, who was at home on forced bed rest due to illness. He had a horrible feeling they were going to lose her soon.

Forcing himself to his feet, Sirius approached the room they had James in. He slipped through the door, smiling softly at his best friend, asleep on the bed. He sat down in the chair beside the bed, holding James hand between both of his own.

He didn't know how long he sat there, his head resting on the mattress his hands wrapped around James, but during that time, he thanked every god he could think of that James was still alive.

"I meant what I said, you know," a voice from above him said.

Sirius' head flew up to find James watching him with a soft smile.

"I meant it too."

James raised his eyebrow. "Did you?"

Sirius frowned. "Of course I did."

With a sigh, James added, "I've been in love with you for so long that I didn't recognise it at first. I thought it was just the love you felt for a best friend, you know? But then I realised I didn't feel even remotely the same about Remus or Peter. And then, you got a girlfriend, and I was jealous."

"James—"

"I felt like such a jerk," James continued as though he hadn't been interrupted. "I couldn't die without you knowing. And I hate this feeling, as though I've ruined everything—"

Sirius pressed his lips to James, stopping his speech. When he pulled away, he smirked at the shocked look on James face.

"Oh, look. I've finally found a way to shut you up when you're rambling."

James laughed. "You're an arsehole."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah I know. But I've been your arsehole since we were eleven."


Written for;

Library Lovers - Harry Potter - Prophecy / Best Friends / Good vs Evil

Book Club - Stuart Redman - Self defence / breaking a bone / leader

Character Appreciation - A magical tent

A Year In Entertainment - Tv - Cane

TV Show of the year - Booth - "There's more than one kind of family." / Sirius / Playing a sport

Play More Cards - 3. Blackjack - A Member of the Black Family

Serpents - 16. Black Tree Cobra - JamesSirius