A/N: I don't know what gave me this idea. I just want to mock Sues mercilessly. Please review! Constructive criticism is fine, but no mindless bad reviews, please.
INTRODUCTION.
Congratulations, you are the proud new owner of a Harry Potter Mary Sue!
Now that you have it, how do you use it? This guide will tell you all you need to know.
It has four parts:
Getting Started: Possible names. Where to put your Mary Sue. Common Mary Sue situations and how to make them your own.
Taking Care of your Mary Sue: How to keep her alive if flames persist. Diet. What is best for your Mary Sue?
Becoming the Suether: Proper spelling. Proper way to respond to flames. Proper fan fiction attitude.
Extra things to make your Mary Sue better: Common Mary Sue traits. Healthy habits. Fashion tips.
When you finish reading your owner's manual, you will have your very own Mary Sue to annoy fan fiction readers throughout the world!
MARY SUE SMITERS UNITED'S WARNING TO SUETHORS:
Warning: Use of Mary Sues may result in: Nausea, vomiting, suicide, head banging on flat surface, anger, annoyance, merciless flames, loss of will to live, intense hatred of suethor, death threats, temporary insanity, loss of appetite, loss of brain cells, and smashing of the computer screen.
The Mary Sue does not only affect the suethor, but it also affects the readers. It is called second-hand Sue, and it is just as danger us. Please, think before you Sue.