Disclaimer: Splatoon and Splatoon 2 wouldn't look half as aesthetically interesting if I'd made and owned it.

GET RICH OR $QUID TRYING

"Murchie-baby…"

"Whatever it is that you want, I ain't getting involved with it JaJa."

"Still kissing Spike's rectum, are you?"

"Still pitifully not-famous, I see."

JaJa hissed at the tiny Sea Urchin, and Carmilla took it upon herself to cough loudly and interrupt the pair before a non-officiated Turf War broke out. "We were wondering whether you could set us up with some bespoke gear, Murch?"

"See, that's how you ask a favour." JaJa's upper lip curled back in a sneer as Murch tapped his foot restlessly on the edge of the ledge he stood on outside of the Lobby. "What's the matter with some of the prime gear here in Inkopolis Square? Why not try the Galleria? Oh wait, I forgot, they don't let any old sort in there."

"Surely the only way Spike is ever going to notice you is if you endorse the freshest people here? Copies of anybody's castoffs just won't do," JaJa huffed. "We need originality, flare-"

"You'll need a miracle then," Murch quipped, and ducked as JaJa lunged a fist at his wide unblinking eye. "Considering even Flow won't let you in her store, and even her co-owner thinks she's tickled ink half of the time."

Carmilla lunged for the hood of her friend's raincoat in an attempt to stop her from beating poor Murch within an inch of his life. "Can we all just calm down, please? Murch I placed an order with you a couple of days ago. Has it come in yet?"

Murch's sneer relaxed as JaJa was dragged behind her calmer, more genteel mannered friend. "Sure." He gestured to the case beside him, "Take a look. It's exactly what you asked for right?"

JaJa pushed past Carmilla and dived into the case. She pulled out a sweatshirt, a pair of dungarees, and a weathered pair of shorts. "This… this isn't what we ordered at all."

"No way," Murch protested. "I even got Spike to help me with this, and we both thought we'd got the exacts."

JaJa's hand's were balled up within the scratchy material of the faded sweatshirt. This had been gear someone had traded in – not exactly the cutesy clothing they'd ordered in the first place. This was an outrage – "You do this on purpose. Every damn time when we come to you for gear, you screw us over somehow. Just like your precious Spike," JaJa spat.

Carmilla gasped. "JaJa!"

"What?! It's squidiculous Carmi!"

Murch merely rolled his eyes. "Do you want it or not?"

JaJa considered their options. They didn't have many, and their current gear (also purchased through Murch) was already falling apart. She sniffed snobbishly; "Carmilla, pay the Urchin what he's owed."

"I can't believe we just blew all our earnings on shoddy gear," JaJa moaned, smacking her head into her knees. The pair were sat behind Crusty Sean's shack in the Square, hoping that perhaps he'd take pity on the starving pair or artists and slip them a spare piece of battered… something. At this point, JaJa couldn't care less what was in Sean's food, let alone how calorific it was. She could work on the growing muffin top when they had the money and time to make healthy eating a priority. For now, it was grease and cheap easy meals all the way.

"We didn't have to buy it," Carmilla pointed out, smiling sweetly at Sean as he peered through the back exit of his van at them. She stretched out her crossed legs and propped herself further up the side of the bright yellow van to relieve the pressure on her lower back. Once comfortable, Carmilla rested one ankle atop the other and hummed out a quiet string of notes.

JaJa stilled, tilting her head to the side contemplatively and tapping along her knees. "Sounds pretty."

"I thought so too," Carmilla answered with a toothy grin.

Behind the smiling pair of Inklings, Crusty Sean coughed. "I know you squiddos are having a hard time lately, but if you ain't buyin' anything I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."

"We're sat behind your van this time," JaJa frowned. "How are we disturbing other customers if we're out of their view?"

"One o' them League regulars was worried 'bout two Inklings 'loitering' round the back of my van. Said they'd sort it for me but I told 'em not to," Sean shrugged. "Just wanted to give ya both a heads up. Don't want you getting splatted by my van – it's bad for business."

JaJa rose to her feet, annoyance thinly veiled on her face. "If you haven't noticed Sean, we're both homeless – and penniless now too, I guess."

"JaJa…" Carmilla whimpered. Her friend was strong tempered and stubborn all the time, but now JaJa was just causing a scene. JaJa could be frighteningly impassioned when something rubbed her the wrong way, and more often than not it landed her into even more trouble despite Carmilla's efforts to interfere before things could escalate.

"No! Where are we supposed to go-"

Sean's hands were outstretched in a placating manner; "Cool it Ja. I'll let you squiddo's kip under the van's porch tonight if you just disappear for a bit."

Though JaJa grumbled, it had to be the best offer they'd had in a while. Plus the Off The Hook duo had announced it was going to rain later on tonight.

How had these two Inklings come to be in such a predicament, you ask?

Inspired by the careers of Callie and Marie – with their work as both single recording artists and as a duo – JaJa neglected her studies in favour of becoming a vocalist. Many acts that frequented the Inkopolis music scene were multi-talented; they could both play an instrument, sing or rap, and managed somehow not to have two left fins. JaJa found that she was only talented in one discipline. Vocals.

This did not dissuade her from leaving home and wheedling her way into the big city, taking along with her her childhood friend, Carmilla. Where JaJa went, Carmilla was likely to follow after all, as the two had been inseparable since they were tiny.

Only, the music industry was harder to have a breakthrough in than JaJa had anticipated, so now they were subjected to kipping under the glow of Inkopolis' skyscape and the blare of jingles until something came through for them.

They'd tried funding their careers from Turf War conscription, some Ranked battles and the occasional Salmon Run, but Carmilla found she didn't have the heart or the stomach to wage even practice wars on her race – even though they re-spawned shortly after being hit with an opponent's ink. (1)

JaJa just found such pursuits below her.

"Hey," the aforementioned Inkling whispered to her companion, her features faintly lit in the vibrant glow of a billboard. "We need a name." Carmilla responded groggily that she had no idea what JaJa was going on about. "We need a name for our duo."

"Why don't we try and get some more material or a manager first? Names are a big deal after all."

(1) I have this theory that when your Inkling explodes in a shower of ink during a match, you're missing all of the gruesome chunks of flesh flying in every direction and they (whoever "they" are) take a little sample of it back the spawn point for you to 'rebirth' from each time you die in-game. Kinda like when Starfish lose a leg; the leg regenerates, and a new starfish grows out from the amputated leg. Weird, and most likely impossible for squid species, but it's just a theory. Though it makes sense, because how would you regain a full body from ink splatters otherwise? If you have an answer for this, or just want to correct me on my dodgy science, drop me a review or a PM.

I have no idea where the story for these two is going, but their characters have been bugging me since December of last year (2017). I was planning a full length one-shot (say 15,000 words) but I'm liking these smaller vignettes better.

Let me know what you think! PM's and Reviews are appreciated.

Chapter Trivia:

1. JaJa is named for JaJa Gabor, who's come to be the epitome what we now know of as "celebrities". Carmilla is named for Sheridan Le Fanu's eponymous character from his novel Carmilla. This is because Inkling Carmilla's squid form would be based on the appearance of a Vampire Squid.

2. The song Carmilla is humming is 'FLASH' by the J-Pop ground Perfume. I'm trying to look for a capella covers, and the only one I can find for that song is a small snippet in an even bigger medley by a capella group Groovy Groove. I'm still not sure what I want JaJa and Carmilla's music to sound like, so it's a hybrid mix of classical, a capella, pop, rap and indie at the moment. Trying to find inspiration for their group (and physical examples) is a right nightmare.

3. I'm going easy on the puns, and I know I've probably missed out on a few chances to throw even more in.

Musical Inspiration:

"Let it Happen" - Tame Impala, 'Currents'

"Flash" - Perfume, 'Flash (Single)'

[EDITED 21/2/2018]: Just a quick tweaking, as I noticed a few errors.