What it all comes down to in the end...
It had been chaotic times, full of strange new developments that shook all their plans and beliefs until their entire situation was about as steady as a canoe on open water in a hurricane. Yet somehow they had managed to stay focused on one thing, on their one goal: Overcoming Voldemort. His demise was the way not only to Harry's, but to all of their futures. So while Harry, Ron and Hermione had been out hunting the Horcrux throughout all of Europe, the remaining Hogwarts students had been far from lazy. Neville, Luna and Ginny had resurrected Dumbledore's Army and built it into a real force to be reckoned with.
What had initially started as a project to distract Ginny from the break-up with Harry had turned into the thing that had kept them going all throughout the gloomy school year. In the end, all their thoughts had revolved only around this project, their anchor and their light in a storm of darkness.
They had met little resistance in the beginning, as headmistress McGonagall was glad the students had something to distract themselves with. By the time the ministry got wind of it, it had become a rigidly organised routine of daily combat and duelling training that everyone up from class three took part in. They had become so good that shutting them down would be a waste of huge potential. So they continued. The older ones even received personal training by Aurors, studying not only defence hexes, but attacking as well.
They had been so busy they never really had any time to think. There was never any question of why they were doing this, what would be there to keep them going through the really tough times, or what would happen if they failed.
Now, however, things were drawing to a conclusion. A week ago, the Trio had returned with the news that they had destroyed all the Horcrux, thus leaving Voldemort vulnerable and mortal. That had been the signal for a frenzy of activity preparing for a final battle that everyone knew had to take place as soon as possible. Information was gathered, plans were made, security wards were set up, defence hexes were practised. All the classes had been cancelled, and the students were doing last-minute training all day long. The plan was to attack at dawn on the Sunday morning after Harry's return.
On Saturday evening, everything screeched to a halt.
They had practised and prepared every detail. Everyone knew what to do and where to be. They could perform any number of defence spells in their sleep. There was nothing left to do.
They figured they should really get some much needed sleep and restore their energies. Yet, none of them could make themselves go back to their dormitories and go to sleep. None of them had slept more than five hours those past few days, and they weren't really used to being apart anymore, having practically spent every waking minute together. Still, despite their protests, McGonagall made most of the students go to bed, especially the younger ones. By midnight, most of the school was sound asleep. The exception was a small group of older students, mostly the original founders of the order, and a group of Slytherins led by Blaise Zabini who had defied their parents and came over to their side. That had been quite a shock, but also a motivation for them all.
Luna had never really known the mysterious, handsome dark Slytherin. Now that he had joined their forces and trained with them, teaching them some of the other side's favourite hexes, they had got to talking quite a lot. His reasons why they had defied all of their friends and family had greatly impressed Luna, as well as his intelligence. From what Ginny had told her about the encounters she had had with the boy at the slug club last year, Blaise had appeared quite shallow and arrogant. Now that she had got to know him, Luna had to correct these assumptions. She had been pleasantly surprised – and a little frightened – to notice that she had begun to genuinely like the boy. She enjoyed joking with him as much as duelling him, and she had found out that he, like herself, had quite a talent for strategy. They had worked on some attack plans with Ron Weasley and some of the order members, and Luna had found what others might consider dry theory just as thrilling as throwing hexes. From the light in Blaise's eyes and the enthusiasm with which he discussed moves and strategies, she figured he felt the same. They had spent many an evening talking and, over the past few months, had come to know each other quite well. She knew that his mother had been a famous model and "Miss Magical World" a few years back before marrying a much older, incredibly rich pureblooded wizard – Slytherin nobility, of course. That was another thing that they had in common: Blaise's father had died when he was a child, as well.
During the week leading up to the final battle, they hadn't really had any time to talk for longer than five minutes, though. Now that they did have the time, none of them felt like talking. Instead, they were all sitting in the Room of Requirement, trying to relax. The room had produced the illusion of a sunny spot on the lakeshore with the softest green grass underneath their feet, copying the clear blue sky they had seen outside earlier. They would have liked to enjoy the soft summer evening outside, but it would take hours to get through all of the security wards, and would leave them fairly unprotected. So instead they had wished for the Room of Requirement to replay the entire scenery, which it did, including the most gorgeous sunset and a clear night sky brimming with bright, sparkling stars. It was as if the room knew what awaited them in the morning and wanted to make up for it.
The beauty of the scenery combined with the pressure of what they knew was coming was too much to bear alone, and so the students sought comfort in each other.
Over the past weeks and months, Luna had noticed more and more couples finding each other, and she knew it was what helped most of them through the fear and darkness. As she looked around the room now, though, it seemed to her that she was the only single person. Everyone seemed to be snuggled up to someone else. Ron was holding Hermione in his arms. Harry and Ginny were sitting propped up on a tree trunk, whispering with their heads bent together. All of the other couples gave similar pictures: Snuggling, smiling slightly, holding hands, whispering sweet nothings into each others ears… Luna smiled to herself. It was good to see that her friends had something to fight this war for.
There was an atmosphere of love and peace in the room, and every one of them seemed to be sucking in as much of it as possible for the gruesome day that awaited them.
As if reading her thoughts, Ron Weasley spoke up at this very moment, capturing what they all seemed to feel.
"I guess that it's moments like these that we're fighting for." Hermione turned in his arms to look at her boyfriend.
"You mean peaceful, quiet moments?"
"Yes, but also, you know, love." His ears turned red, assuring everyone that, despite his
pensive words, he was still the same Ron Weasley they all knew.
"Yes, and giving our children the chance to grow up in peace and security." Harry joined in the conversation. Ginny sat up abruptly.
"What do you mean our children? You know, we just made up, don't you think it's a little early to be thinking about that?" Everyone laughed, and Harry turned beet red. Ginny patted his knee reassuringly.
"Don't worry, I know what you meant. I want that too. I want all of my family to live in peace, whether they're born now or in the future."
"And, of course, my friends. I mean, not that I don't know we're all able to defend ourselves, but I still hate having to worry about all the people I love each day." Lavender spoke up, surprising everyone, for she and Seamus had been snogging so intently it seemed impossible that they could have heard a word of the conversation.
"I guess that's what it all comes down to, in the end. Love." Neville spoke up, softly kissing his girlfriend, Jean Hanigan from Ravenclaw.
Even though she fully agreed with everything that had been said, Luna felt a slight pang of something missing in her chest as she looked around the room, where everyone was exchanging affectionate gestures and forgetting the others around them. Not that she wasn't happy that her friends had found some light in the darkness that surrounded them. And of course, she had all the same reasons for fighting as they had. She loved her friends, and her father, and she wanted her mother to be proud of her when she saw her fighting tomorrow.
Yes, she had all the same reasons – except for one. She had no one to snuggle up against, no one to hold her and tell her everything would be okay when doubts and fears overwhelmed her.
She had never really missed it, always being too caught up in some thoughts or explorations or, lately, fighting training. Now that it seemed to be the only thing to hold on to, all of a sudden she found herself missing it. Found herself yearning to be held and kissed, to share private jokes and smiles with someone that nobody else understood.
Hell, she had never even been kissed. Of course, no one wanted to associate with Loony Lovegood, much less date her. And even though the situation had improved over the past few years and she had now a group of friends who she knew she could rely on, now she found herself fearing it wasn't enough. What if a dementor attacked her? She wouldn't be able to produce a memory of a first kiss. What if she needed something to help her conjure up the energy it took for some of the more complicated spells? What if she got weak and despaired, and forgot why she was doing this? She wouldn't have the strong anchor the others had, the joy and energy it brought thinking of a lover's face, or recalling his voice.
Quietly, Luna got up to wander a few steps away from the group. She was so deeply immersed in her thoughts that she didn't notice the pair of eyes following her, curiosity and affection in their bright gaze.
Of course, she realized, having someone to love didn't make the others invincible. It couldn't protect them, neither from an unforgivable curse nor from their own doubts and fears. In the end, they had to stand their ground alone. And then there was the added pressure of fearing for someone else's life as well. That might even pose a distraction that she didn't need to worry about. And still, deep inside she knew Neville's last words had been right: In the end, it all came down to love.
The idea that maybe she didn't have enough of that made her scared to death. She had to force herself to stay sprawled on her back like she had been before, looking up at the stars, instead of curling up into a ball of fear and pain like she wanted to.
"Luna?" Someone spoke her name, softly, and the wave of panic and sadness was immediately washed away by the sound.
"Are you okay? Everyone else is gone, and I don't think you noticed. Is something wrong with you?" She opened her eyes to see Blaise sitting next to her.
"Yes, I'm fine. I was just thinking."
"Are you sure you're fine?" He asked sceptically, extending his hand to softly brush her cheek with his thumb. "Because it seems like you've cried, and I don't exactly suspect happy tears here today." She sat up, frantically rubbing at her cheeks who were indeed wet and tearstained. She quickly scanned the room, surprised to find it completely empty.
"Where is everyone?"
"They all left, supposedly to…er, celebrate life and have a little alone time once more." Luna blushed as she understood what he meant, and laughed when he grimaced.
"Not that I'm not happy for our friends and everything, but they could have been a little less obvious about their plans for the night."
"Well, I guess it is a logical step after the conclusion we've made just before."
"Which conclusion?"
"That it all comes down to love, in the end."
"Well, you know, it's true." She nodded, sinking back down onto the grass as she felt the sadness returning.
"Yes, it's true. They're lucky to have that then." He lowered himself down next to her, never taking these intense, scrutinising eyes off her.
"Is that what this is about? You're sad because you're not in love?" Feeling her face heat up, Luna didn't say anything. It was just too embarrassing to admit to him that she had never been kissed. She was quite sure he had had his share of girlfriends over the years.
Yet, despite her own will and better judgement, she burst out:
"Yes! I've never had a boyfriend, I've never even been kissed, and I'm afraid I won't have the strength tomorrow if I don't have something like that to hold on to." He was silent after her outburst, giving her time to cool down and recompose. She was eternally grateful that he hadn't laughed, although she hadn't really expected him to. He wouldn't do that to her.
"You know what? I've had the exact same fear before." She abruptly turned to him. They were now both laying on their sides, facing each other.
"You expect me to believe that? I'm sure you've had a few girlfriends before." If this hadn't been Luna, Blaise was sure he could have seen her sneer.
"Yes, I've dated before. But the thing is, I've never been in love. Being with other girls was always okay, but I've never had any deep feelings." She was silent, stunned by this admission. After a few seconds of silence, he reached out his hand and began softly stroking her hair.
"Now tell me, Luna, which one is worse: Never having kissed or having kissed without loving? Never having loved?" She looked at him silently, sensing that something was going on.
"At least your little problem can be solved quite easily." With that, he leaned in, slowly closed the distance between them, and kissed her. It was only the softest graze of his lips over hers, until her hand fluttered up weakly, landing on his shoulder. While her eyes fluttered shut, his lips met hers more passionately, conveying a span of emotion to her that could fight off any dark shadow. When he broke the kiss and they looked into each others eyes, she could feel something had been ignited within her. He drew her closer and placed her head on his chest.
"You know, I think I might have found a solution to my problem as well – someone to teach me how to love…." Her breath hitched in her throat. Had he meant what she thought he did?
Slowly, carefully, she lifted her eyes to his. Years of emotional torture had made her wary, and though she knew and trusted him, this was new and unknown terrain, and she was sure it offered even more ammunition to anyone who was out to hurt her.
"Don't look so scared. I was talking about you, and I'm not doing this to hurt you. I loved every minute we spent together these past months. You're the prettiest, smartest, fiercest, most special girl I've ever met. I know this is a very bad time to tell you this, but I think I've fallen head over heels in love with you."
"A bad time? This… this is the best moment you could have ever chosen." She stammered out, too overwhelmed by the fierceness of the emotions threatening to overwhelm her. She didn't know where all of this had come from, hadn't suspected a single thing. Yet now that it was on the table, it felt right. She had liked Blaise as a friend since they had started practising together, but what she felt right now was not platonic in the least. It was something else entirely, and even though she had not seen it coming, she had every intention of getting used to it very quickly.
"Let me just check something, alright?" With that, she brought her lips back down on his, resulting in the same whirlwind of dizzying, wonderful emotions she had felt before, and she had to smile against his lips. Yes, this was definitely something worth fighting for.
They spent the rest of the night talking, which felt just as comfortable as always, and kissing, which felt new and weird and wonderfully right.
When Luna stepped out and fired her first hex at dawn, she put all memories of the night behind her so as not to get distracted. She knew exactly what she had to do, and she didn't let one thought of him distract her from her task.
Yet there was a fire burning inside of her that hadn't been there before, giving her strength.
A/N: I'm having a bit of writer's block on my other, longer story, Pride and Prejudice, so I keep producing short stories. In case any of you have read and liked Pride and Prejudice so far and are waiting for an update, please read and review my other stories in order to motivate me to keep writing. (Though please don't think I'm only doing this for the reviews – I've wanted to try a Luna/Blaise story for a while now.)