Sonny kinda funny
Author notes: So the new Sonny game in 2017 steam release was not as good as many people expected, but there were some kinda funny jokes, so I decided to write them down. The highlighted ones are my favourite and in brackets are my reactions.()
Patient Zero 1
Louis: You died, and now you´re a zombie.
Sonny: Hah. Funny. Wait, WHAT!? I´m...I´m a ZOMBIE!?
Patient Zero 2
Sonny: Another zombie! Maybe I can talk to it. Hey! Hey buddy! Come with us, we´re getting out of here!
Acid zombie: Sscchhaakk…!
Sonny: Ahh! It spat on me! Get it off me!
Louis: I...I don´t know. Think regenerative thoughts?
Patient Zero 3
Sonny: What are you doing here? Shouldn´t you be trying to escape?
Shopkeeper: Yeah… naaah. YOU should be trying on some new threads. Come on!
The Silver Strand 1
Sonny: I need to say...I don´t want to kill you, but I just don´t see any other way out of this. Alright?
Suit Zombie: Mmmmgghr!
Sonny: Alright.
The Silver Strand 2
Veradux: Classic. Well, you at least got a name?
Sonny: Sonny…
Veradux: Haha! Nice name. A lil´ soft, maybe. Ain´t a strong name like… Veradux, say. And I bet more of your cousins are gonna be showing up any second now.
Veradux: A corpse AND an amnesiac. That´s some luck streak you got going there, champ.
Sonny: Yeah. It´s like I´m made of rabbit feet.
The silver Strand 3
Vendara: ALL Zeds are green, you dimwit!
The Silver Strand 4
Veradux: I call´em Firespitters. Cuz they spit fire. (reminds me of copy cat chanel how to speak german)
The Silver Strand 6
Sonny: So...are you like…...a robot or something?
Veradux: Jeez, Sonny. I know you´re smart for a zombie and all...but, damn. You´re pretty dumb, you know that?
Sonny: Give me a break.
Tera Jungle 2
Dr Herregods: I am Dr Tom Herregods. Researcher of mammalian genetic mutation with a focus in re-animation virus stains.
Veradux: That´s a lot of fancy words. (probably the best one, just so random :D) We´ve been lookin´ for you doc.
Dr Herregods: Me?
Yea, you. Unless there´s another crazy scientist living of coconut water and mutated flesh living in here.
Dr Herregods: Ah, no. just me.
Tera Jungle 3
Veradux: Wait, people still read forums? You hippies want to get a guitar out? Start singin´ Kumbaya?
Tera Jungle 4
Veradux: At least let us listen to the tap while we wait for you to have a nerdgasm.
Tera Jungle 6
Sonny: But where do we go? Somewhere less hot, I hope.
Veradux: I got air-con inside this baby, so I ain´t worried ´bout a few extra degrees.
Sonny: Oh and by the way, I´m so glad to head you´re really comfortable in there.
Veradux: Screw you.
Sonny: Like, really glad.
Veradux: Kid´s been sayin´ dumb crap since I met him. Now all of a sudden he´s got standards.
Tera Jungle 9
Corrupter: The land claims all! The land grows. Land takes.
Sonny: You can talk. But can you listen?
Corrupter: The land must eat so that it can give!
Veradux: I´m feelin´ pretty anti-environmental right about now.
Sonny: Same here.
Firewell Factory 1
Sonny: What the? They´re zombies!
Veradux: Well that was predictable.
Worker: Assemble...Distribute...Construct...
Veradux: No way! It´s worse then that...There ones understand the power of industrialization!
Firewell Factory 8
Carbon: I want them gone. Dead. Deader than dead. Kill´ em a couple more times after you kill´ em dead. Can I count on you?
Grosk: You betcha, boss man" Carbon, sir!
Firewell Factory 10
Dr Herregods: Your team destroyed my research facility, you pustulous stain!
Grosk: Thank you for your complaints. Your feedback means a lot to us. (like so neutral answer to every complaint, probably referring to the game problems even before they got any?)
The Hidden Forest 1
Veradux: Sup, doc? (almost bugs bunny reference)
Kara: Just...try not to say TOO much lame crap for the rest of our journey, okay?
Sonny:...harsh…
The Hidden Forest 3
Veradux: Tell it to my big metal fist! (I think terminator reference talk to the hand?)
Kara: The philosophy alarm is ringing. Move it along, boys.
Sonny: What should we call you?
Zakk: I am Zakkiatherous Anerexon. Ninth of my father in the tribe of witch hunters.
Veradux: I´m just gonna call ya Zakk.
Kata: Same here.
Herregods: For the sake of saving time, I will also call you Zakk.
Zakk:…
Sonny: Zakk´s a good name, don´t worry.
Zakk:...very well.
The Hidden Forest 11
Arcanis: I will purge your spoiled blood and free you of your curse.
Sonny: I´m not cursed… I´m blessed. When I came back to life I had a SIX PACK. Do you even know what that means to me?
Veradux: Pahaha"
Thunder Labs 1
Celestia: I, for example, have changed from a boring, mediocre electro-astrophysical engineer…...to a heavyweight bio-mechanical electro-astrophysical super conductor!
Herregods: What pseudo-scientific trash! There´s no such thing!
Celestia: Then let class begin. I will teach you the science.
Kara: Oh jeez. I freaking hate learning.
Thunder Labs 7
Carbon: They´re pathetic. Some...puked up, pretend super-zombie. A cripple in a high-tech tin can! A nerd in tourist shorts. A skinny little girl with a toy gun and some ice-loving WHACK JOB FROM WHO KNOWS WHERE! Just pathetic. (pretty much describes the whole team perfectly)
We´ll use them to finish of the ZPCI. Hey, maybe they´ll kill each other! I dunno. It IS a perfect plan, though. I come up with the best plans.
Celestia: I underst-
Carbon: Seriously. No one comes up with better plans than I do. Let me tell ya, mine are the best.
Thunder Labs 8
Sonny: We need to rest.
Kara: Hmph. The dead guy wants to rest.
Veradux: You gotta know when to stop and put a stwe on, honey.
Kata: Call me honey again and it´ll be you boiling in that pot.
Thunder Labs 10
Dr Herregods: I´m getting fed up with this lazy usage of the word "super" to describe a VERY complex thing! (yea they use it a LOT)
Veradux: Yo, how much longer you gonna be geeking out in here Doc? I´m getting´ the itch to do some more hurtin´.
Nothing funny in Blackhall Keep :(
ZPCI Stronghold 2
Dr Klima: W-well, ah…
Vendara: That green one. That ZED. THAT…...SONNY…...He´s can have what´s left of him to stick your probe into, doctor.
ZPCI Stronghold 4
Veradux: Alright, see the thing is, I blame you for this, Zakk. With all your fire talk.
Zakk: Me? You are as unfair as the sea, my friend.
Sonny: Veradux, get off his back.
Veradux: Oooh! Or you´ll do what?
Sonny: I´ll spit in your mouth. You´ll catch zombie.
Veradux: Hahaha!
Kara: Haah! -achem…
Veradux: Oh snap. Did YOU just laugh at a Sonny joke?
Kara: Pfff, no. Come on. This is serious.
ZPCI Stronghold 6
Dr Klima: Carbon has fooled you all…
Sonny: Carbon...?
Dr Klima: He truly is the change we needed...To make the Humanity great again…! (Hail Trump)
Veradux: He needed to be taken out. One crazy scientist is enough.
Dr Herregods:...hey!
ZPCI Stronghold 11
Carbon: Praetor, baby! Look, I won´t keep you long. I know you´re up to your eyeballs in death right about now.
ZPCI Praetor: What is this…
Carbon: I just wanted to send a big thanks your way for paying for my super weapon.
ZPCI Praetor:...your?
Carbon: Now there´s a lot of dead folk. And a crater the size of my bank account. Which is freaking huge, by the way.
ZPCI Praetor: You…
Carbon: See, I told you I could make you a good super weapon. I make the best super weapons. Really, I can´t think of a better zombie who can. Oops! Did I let the cat out the bag?
ZPCI Praetor: Zombie…? You…?
Carbon: Yeah. Funny, huh? All I had to do was keep my back to you and you never noticed I wasn´t human. (it kinda is since the whole game is about zombies and who would have though he is, well he looked like a human from behind) Whoa, okay, look – you´re getting a little shouty now. It´s not good for the blood pressure.
The Red Pillars 2
Carbon: There´s Sonny...Which is a sweet name, it really is. It´s real cute. Then we got Veradux. Legs (cripple joke :D), I like to call him. "Ooohh! I wanna help but my legs don´t work! Waahh, Carbon, please help me!" Sure, have a free robot suit. Don´t pay a penny for it. Sure. I´ll just GIVE it away.
Doctor Herregods, as I LIVE and BREATHE! Or should I say...MISTER Herregods? Not really supposed to be calling yourself a Doctor when you´ve had your license revoked right? (every doctor in video game ever, Ah, anyway…...that´s how I lost my medical license. TF2)
Give me a girl who bathes in water, not blood. I mean, sheeesh. Leave the big boy stuff to the big boys, know what I mean?
Then there´s the guy from the stone-age over there. Your name I forget. I guess it´s not that important to me. Rack? Jack? Mack? I don´t know. We ought to build a big old wall and keep you out in the cold. (another Trump reference, or maybe Game of Thrones, I don´t know)
The Red Pillars 6
Carbon: Infecting EVERYBODY is gonna be hard work. It´s too tough. It´s like trying to count all my money. But if you BLOW UP most of the world...There´s a lot less people around. Genius!
The Red Pillars 12
Veradux: God damnit! The shield ain´t commin´ down!
Carbon: That´s cuz I have all the best shields, and you don´t. You guys are dumb. Reeeeeal dumb. And stood next to me, you´re dumb beyond words.
Veradux: We´re gonna make you pay Carbon.
Carbon: Yeah? Then show me the invoice,(by ? No, you gonna pay pal.) fools!
Carbon: And now, to finish off...Prepare to witness my true form!
If you lose: Carbon has the best tips. No one has better post-defeat tips than carbon.
The Red Pillars 13
Veradux: Whoa, you just got WAY uglier.
Carbon: Oh, YEAH?! Ugly, huh?! Is that why there´s a truck load of bikini babes in my mansion?!
Kara: That´ll just be because you´re rich.
Nobody could death rattle better then Carbon.
If you lose: No, really. Carbon cannot be defeated. Just give up, fools.
Author notes: The game itself wasn´t bad but felt unfinished. Also note this is just the Sonny 2017 game jokes, I might go over the first two games and find some more, but probably later or never.
THE END