Can't Always Get What You Want
by Eleventy Nine
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended by the writing or online sharing of this story. On my behalf, I do not claim to own and/or be connected to Harry Potter in any way, shape, or form. I only draw inspiration from its characters, setting, and storyline.
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Ginny's been hinting at me for months now. The day she came of age, she made her attraction to me known. When I apologized for her gift, flowers, being so impersonal, she smiled, said she loved it anyway, but there was something else she wanted.
She made that something very clear when she dropped her robes to the floor, revealing the pale pink lace of her undergarments. She was so beautiful... she is so beautiful... and she looked so innocent, yet every bit the temptress, that it was all I could do to stop myself from taking her right then and there.
Who could have known that beneath that sweet, yet tough exterior there lay a woman capable of inspiring such lust in a man who until that very moment had looked at her as no more than a young friend? Who would have guessed?
She had me cornered, and she knew it. We were completely alone in her new apartment, the chance of us being discovered was practically nonexistent.
We both knew that in that moment, I wanted her. Oh, Gods, I wanted her more than I had ever wanted anything before.
And she stood there, in all her naked glory, willing to let me, a wizard at least twenty years older than her, do... do things to her that I sure as hell wouldn't let an old man do to my daughter had I had one.
If Arthur knew... if he could have seen the effect his youngest child and only girl was having on me... he'd kill me. Thirty years of friendship or not, if he had been there that day, he would have used an unforgivable.
I wouldn't have blamed him.
She'd smiled at me, not the smile I'd known as I watched her grow up, but the smile of a young woman. She smiled at me the way a bride smiles at her new husband. No regrets, it said. I love you, and there are no regrets.
I ran. It wasn't really a conscious decision,just the next thing I knew I was halfway down the street. I caught the Knight Bus to Sirius' parents house, though they were long dead.
The house was empty, had been for over a year, though the cleaning spells Molly had cast on it were still in effect. There was a time, back when Sirius was alive, that we could have laughed about this. Not because of humor, but because we didn't have a choice. It was either laugh or cry, and neither of us would have been apt do that in each others' presence, though if we had, neither of us would have thought any less of the other.
We were all that was left of the original group, and then he died, too.
"You bastard," I remember muttering. "Why'd you have to fall behind that veil? Why the fuck?"
I laughed, because that sure as hell wasn't a tear running down my cheek.
"I'm the only one left. First Wormtail, then James and Lily, then you. I could use your goddamn help right now!"
I choked a sob with more laughter. "You bastard... who the fuck am I supposed to talk to about this? You and Prongs were the only people I could ever talk to!"
The image of Ginny floated across my mind, and I groaned, deep in my throat.
"I'm not supposed to want her," I whispered. "I can't want her! And I can't love her, even if that's what she thinks she wants."
Because she can't know what she wants. Not if she thinks it's me.
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tbc?