A/N: In the second chapter of my story Queer as Folk New York, you meet Justin's roommate Eric for the first time. You should read that story to the end of Chapter 2 before reading this story although it does stand alone.

This is that day from Eric's POV. He's a bit confused.

Special thanks to my beta-reader, Spontaneity for her excellent input. This story is really improved because of it.

Confused

When Justin told me that the absentee boyfriend Brian was coming today, I was happy for him. I really was. It's been two months since he moved to New York and into the house with Ari and me. In that time, we've become close, almost friends. He's always been a bit distant, dedicated to his work. I thought it was because he's passionate about his painting, but now I have to wonder. Justin became a different person when he learned Brian was coming.

I just never expected how confused it would make me. I mean, I knew I was messed up, but this is ridiculous. I'm twenty-four years old, for God's sake. You'd think I'd have figured out whether or not I'm gay by now. I'm supposed to be a bloody genius.

It doesn't really matter if I'm gay. My mother won't care. Growing up in the trailer park, the only thing she cared about was that I didn't get into enough trouble to bring police or social services to the door.

I don't think God's going to smite me down on the spot, no matter what Reverend Faulkner preached when I was a kid. Even when I was ten, I knew he was full of it. I wouldn't have gone to church except for the food. You wanted the food, you got the sermon.

I have gay friends, lesbian friends, straight friends. I'm comfortable with their preferences. If I announced I was gay tomorrow, they'd just ask me why it took so long to figure it out.

I am NOT in denial.

I thought I had it figured out when I first met Ari eight months go. I mean, how could I feel like that and not be straight?

Thank God Jessie warned me with a picture before I met Ari, but, of course, pictures don't do her justice. I know now that if I had reacted like every other straight guy she'd ever met, I wouldn't be living here.

There's something about her… it's something indescribable. Just seeing Ari makes a man want to protect her. The fact that she can take care of herself doesn't seem to matter.

I've seen it hit New York cabbies, for God's sake, and they're supposed to be immune to everything. But if Ari gets into a cab, they're opening doors and being polite before you can even blink.

I saw a guy walk into a fountain once. He took one look at her, and couldn't take his eyes off. He just kept walking. He tripped over the concrete edge and landed face first in the water. Funniest thing I've ever seen.

When Justin moved in, it was okay. He's so gay, Ari was safe from him, plus he's immune to her effect. That's why she almost always hangs out with gay guys. He's also sarcastic, talented and cute, not to mention having a great smile and amazing body. But I wasn't turned on. Honest. I liked him. If you're not turned on by Justin Taylor, you can't be gay. Can you?

That all changed today. When he got the phone call that Brian was coming, Justin changed. After he hung up the phone, he started to dance, singing off-key. He can't sing, but Christ, he can move. He grabbed Ari, spun her around the room, and kissed her, laughing the whole time. Then he grabbed me and did the same thing. Shit, just thinking about it is getting me hard.

I know now why I wasn't turned on before. He was heartbroken. He covered it up, putting on a happy face. He even went out clubbing a lot. It was an amazing act, but I must have sensed it and subconsciously respected it. Now that I've seen Justin happy, I know the difference.

I remember saying something inane about cooking supper. Justin told me to please make it something they could eat cold, because he wasn't sure when they'd eat, as they'd probably fuck all night long.

Right now, as I cook, I can hear Justin singing upstairs, off-key.

Ariana's in the back room, singing along. If Justin is a brilliant artist, Ari's voice is glorious. She must have the hearing equivalent of a photographic memory. How else can she sing so perfectly, or learn to speak so many languages?

I can feel my mind wandering, but I can't seem to stop it and stay focused. How did an engineer like me end up living with those two? How am I going to stay sane? I can't go through life with a permanent hard-on.

I'll focus on cooking. That's a start. I love to cook. It relaxes me. If I focus on cooking and breathing, I might get through this.

The sound of the doorbell jars me out of my thoughts. Brian. Justin's still singing, so I guess I'd better go get it.

"Hey, guys! Someone's at the door!" I yell as I go down the hallway. At least my reaction to Justin's kiss has deflated.

As I open the door, my brain stops functioning. I feel the blood flowing away from my brain down to…somewhere else. Oh, my God. Brian Kinney looks just like Justin's sketches, but real life Brian's impact is un-fucking-believable. Sex on two legs.

My mouth is dry. I swallow, hard. Thank God my brain starts to work again. I force a smile. "You must be Brian - you look just like Justin's sketches. Justin's dying to see you. I'm Eric."

Shit, I'm babbling. I have to do better than that. Months of controlling myself with Ari need to kick in. With a deep breath, I try again. "He warned us that the two of you will vanish for most of the weekend." Better, that almost sounded normal. "Just thought you'd like to know what the plan is."

Brian says something and then Ari's voice comes from behind me. Thank God, now I can stop thinking. I turn and look at Ari. I take a deep breath, and then another, and then close my eyes. Her halter top and shorts don't leave a lot to my overactive imagination.

Justin comes flying down the stairs and freezes.

I turn back to Brian, just in time to see him focus on Justin. Everything about him sharpens instantly, like a hunter sighting his prey. The purely sexual air he gives off naturally increases at the sight of Justin.

I look away from Brian and back at Justin. He's lit up. I've never seen him look like that. I knew he was good-looking, but with Brian here… Damn… And now the tension is unbearable…

Where the hell can I look? Suddenly there's no choice as Brian goes to Justin and starts to kiss him. I defy anyone on earth to look away once those two start kissing. God, Brian might eat him alive. It's getting intense, so I start to move. I can't help it. Ari shifts slightly and I glance at her. She throws me a look that says, Don't interrupt them, louder than any words.

I turn back to see Brian reach up and rip Justin's shirt open. The sight of Brian kissing down Justin's chest is beyond arousing. The look on Justin's face…

Oh, shit, my jeans are starting to strain. This has got to stop. "Hey guys." Nothing. Oh, God, they aren't going to do it in the hallway, are they? I try again. "Guys! Take it upstairs, why don't you?" Finally, Justin's leading Brian away, taking him upstairs where they'll… Hold that thought. Okay, breathe. Breathing's good.

My thoughts come out my mouth without thinking. "Jesus, Justin wasn't kidding when he said we wouldn't see much of them this weekend."

Ari's face is flushed. "You okay?" I ask. Stupid question. Why would she be? She's as turned on by Brian and Justin as I am. I know I'm not okay. Why should she be?

She says something. I feel words coming out of my mouth, answering her, somehow bypassing my brain.

She's walking towards me. No. She's stalking me. And I'm gay. I have to be gay, right? I almost came watching two men kissing. I can't get my breath. I'm getting harder. I can get harder? Ari's finally noticing me after eight months. And I think she wants to… No, she definitely wants to.

I can feel my brain going into hyper drive, and I can't stop it. If I'm gay, then I shouldn't stay and if I do stay, we'll do something dumb and that's not fair to her because she thinks I'm straight, and if I'm turned on by her I have to be straight but I think I'm gay… I think I'm going to be sick.

I need to calm down. Cooking. Think about cooking. Focus!

"I see, I think. Um, I've got to go to the store to get something for supper. Be back soon." Where's the door? Oh yeah, right behind me.

Cold air. Oh, good, I can breathe again.

And they say I'm a genius… I'm not.

I'm an idiot.

*A/N – Eric's story will continue when Queer as Folk New York leaves Pittsburgh and gets back to New York.