Cloud Strife looked out over the vistas of Midgar. How peaceful it was
now that the ShinRa had been destroyed. He smiled grimly as he
remembered the great, funneling Mako storms...Sephiroth's dying
scream...the triumph of good over evil...and most fondly in his
heart, the way Tifa's gigantic breasts jiggled like water balloons
filled with pudding whenever she moved.
"Mmm...Cloud like boobies!" he declared heroically to the
sweeping grasslands.
"tee hee! Duh!~" came a shrieking, irritating voice from
beyond the grave. Cloud turned around to see...nobody.
"Duh, that strange." Cloud muttered, and turned back around.
He stood that way for another ten minutes before someone screamed,
'HEY!!! BLONDIE!!!"
"Huh?" Cloud turned again.
"GET BACK HERE!!! WE'RE NOT FINISHED!!!"
"Uh oh, that not good!"
Cloud ran down a giant hill away from Midgar, and towards the yelling.
"Faster!" Cloud exclaimed. He took a giant leap and started tumbling
down the hill. Faster and faster Cloud went, losing more and more
brain cells every time his head hit the ground. "OW! Make ground stop
moving!" he couldn't stop rolling. Soon he reached the bottom.
Battered and bruised, Cloud stood up and realized the yelling was
coming from the other direction. "DOH!" he yelled as his voice echoed
loudly.
Yuffie threw a pair of sparkly boxer shorts down and him and, shaking
her first, screamed, "You jerk! NOW how am I supposed to rescue
Princess Toadstool?"
"Duh, Cloud thought we having sex!"
"Well, Yuffie thought Cloud was a nudist, but she didn't run
away from the GAME!!!" The "ninja" screamed, and ran off, presumably
to piss off Cid and Barret.
"Duh, me no has booty!" Cloud said, sulking cutely.
"Ooooh, you are so CUTE!" Sephiroth squealed as he rose
conveniently out of the ground. He pinched Cloud's little nose.
'Kawaaaaaaaaaaiiiiii!!!!"
Haha!" Barret laughed at Cloud.
"Hey, wasn't Yuffie supposed to be bugging you?" Sephiroth
asked.
"You kiddin' ?! I don't take none of that from no little ninja
wanna-be girl that-"
"BAAAAAARREEEET!!!!" Yuffie screamed at the top of her lungs.
"SHI'IT! Later!" Barret ran off flailing his arms wildly from
side to side like he usually does. Yuffie came running down the hill
at top speed.
"Heeeee I'm gonna catch ya Mr. Barret!" Barret was desperately
trying to get away, but the fact that he could only run at a measly
1.5 mph was his downfall.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" Yuffie leapt at Barret...
Barret screamed like a little girl and ran away, Yuffie
jumping up in the air and clinging to his head like a barnacle.
"Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here!" Sephiroth said.
Selphie ran up wearing Irvine's clothes. "Hey hey!"
"You can't say 'hey hey', only Palmer can say that!" Cloud said.
"Screw you, Mr. Chocobo Head!" Selphie shrieked, stomping on
Cloud's foot. Cloud yelped and started jumping around. Sephiroth sat
down with a big bowl of popcorn and laughed his pretty ass off.
"HEY HEY HEY!" Came a voice from beyond the hills.
"Who the hell is that?"
"Dunno"
"HEY HEY HEY!!!!"
"oh god, it's getting closer!"
just then a round, fat head popped up above the hill.
"HEY HEY HEY!!!"
"Who the hell are you?" Barret asked.
"Why I'm Palmer's brother, Remlap!"
"OH DEAR GOD!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!" yelled Cid.
"Did you say Palmer? Hey! I used to know one of them Uhh...bad guys
named Palmer!...is you bad?"
"Careful Cloud, don't get hurt there." Sephiroth taunted.
"No, I'm just here looking for some hot chicks."
"OH! WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO??" Barret said sarcastically. "WE'RE
OVERFLOWING WITH HOT GIRLS HERE!"
"HEY! SHUT UP!" yelled Yuffie.
"So uh, where can I find some girls huh huh?"
Sephiroth grinned most evilly. "I know a BEAUTIFUL girl! She
has long, flowing, purple, scaly tentacles, and is actually half-male,
and looks like a giant chickpea in her most powerful form!"
"OOOOH! OOOOH!" Remlap said, bouncing back and forth in an
amazingly lithe show of contortionisms. "WHAT'S HER NAME?"
"Tifa?" asked Cloud.
"ASSHOLE!" Tifa shot Cloud in the head with a loaded G-String.
"That's the last time I ever let YOU videotape me in the shower!"
"Eeeeeeeeew!" said Sephiroth, and threw some popcorn at Tifa.
She screamed and ran away.
"Girls are stupid, tee hee!" Cloud exclaimed.
"Yeah, girls suck!" Remlap yelled.
"Damn stupid bitches can't even make tea right!" Cid said.
"Plus, I never got a date for the Junior Prom!"
"Let's get some strawberry ice cream and do MAKEOVERS!"
Sephiroth suggested. All four men shrieked "GOODY GOODY!" and ran off
to find their sleeping bags, nail polish, and lacy pale pink nightgowns.
Suddenly, they ran into the greatest terror known to man. A
horrible, evil-minded creature named....
PIKACHU
"PIKA PIKA!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Everyone screamed as loud as they could, and started to run. Then
SNORLAX landed in front of their path.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Soon, Pokemon blocked every direction! "WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO??" Barret
asked.
"uh uh....Cloud have idea!"
"STOP JOKING AROUND CLOUD!, THIS IS SERIOUS!" Sephiroth yelled.
Quickly, Sephiroth unsheathed his Masamune. Faster than
anyone could follow, Sephiroth QUICKLY chopped up all the Pokemon into
bite sized pieces.
"I WAS GONNA DO THAT!" Barret yelled. Everyone laughed as they ate
their pikastew and pokechew.
::Will our Hero's find the girls their looking for, or will their
path be confronted by the evil ________????" FIND OUT IN THE NEXT
EPISODE! where cloud will take off his pants!::
"Well, you heard the man! Take off your pants!" Sephiroth
scolded the blond man as he scraped up the last of his PikaStew with a
PikaRoll.
"Duh, okay!" Cloud took off his pants. Under them, he was
wearing cute little bikini briefs with hearts on them. Awww!!!!!!!
"Well, great, now all dem beetches is gonna be scared away!"
Barret yelled.
"Naw, you know how many fangirls there are for Cloud?"
Sephiroth asked, wiping his mouth.
"Well, in that case, you fruit, why ain't ya stripping, too?"
Cid asked disgruntledly. " 'Least Barret 'n Remlap 'n I gots reasons."
"Polygons." Sephiroth said calmly, and pointed.
"Oh...dear." said Remlap.
"Man! that is ODD!" Cid yelped in fear.
Barret choked on his PikaBurrito.
"PUT 'EM BACK ON!!!" Everyone yelled.
Cloud, sulking, pulled his stupid purple pants back on. "No
more breeziness!" he sulked.
Suddenly, Selphie ran into wherever the hell they were and
screamed--
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Selphie started a chain reaction of screams
starting with Cloud, "AUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" next to Tifa
"AHHHHHHHHH!!" and then to Barret,
"AAAAAAAAAAAshi'itAAAAAAAHHHHHfooHHHHHH!!!!!"
"What is it NOW?!" Sephiroth queried angrily.
"IT'S THEM!" Selphie yelled
"it's who?" Sephiroth asked.
"NO! it's them!"
"Who is them?"
"No he isn't!"
"Who isn't them?"
"RIGHT! NOW YOU'RE GETTING IT!"
"mmhmm, interesting.........." Sephiroth started to draw his
Masamune once again...
"HEY! Their ain't gonna be none a dat up in here!" Barret
flashed some gang signs and all was at peace once again. "We have to
pay attention to Selphie! Now...what's goin 'on here?"
In a flash, the whole area was covered with bright blinding
whiteness. "WHAT THA!" Everyone was dazed and didn't know what the
hell was going on.
now that the ShinRa had been destroyed. He smiled grimly as he
remembered the great, funneling Mako storms...Sephiroth's dying
scream...the triumph of good over evil...and most fondly in his
heart, the way Tifa's gigantic breasts jiggled like water balloons
filled with pudding whenever she moved.
"Mmm...Cloud like boobies!" he declared heroically to the
sweeping grasslands.
"tee hee! Duh!~" came a shrieking, irritating voice from
beyond the grave. Cloud turned around to see...nobody.
"Duh, that strange." Cloud muttered, and turned back around.
He stood that way for another ten minutes before someone screamed,
'HEY!!! BLONDIE!!!"
"Huh?" Cloud turned again.
"GET BACK HERE!!! WE'RE NOT FINISHED!!!"
"Uh oh, that not good!"
Cloud ran down a giant hill away from Midgar, and towards the yelling.
"Faster!" Cloud exclaimed. He took a giant leap and started tumbling
down the hill. Faster and faster Cloud went, losing more and more
brain cells every time his head hit the ground. "OW! Make ground stop
moving!" he couldn't stop rolling. Soon he reached the bottom.
Battered and bruised, Cloud stood up and realized the yelling was
coming from the other direction. "DOH!" he yelled as his voice echoed
loudly.
Yuffie threw a pair of sparkly boxer shorts down and him and, shaking
her first, screamed, "You jerk! NOW how am I supposed to rescue
Princess Toadstool?"
"Duh, Cloud thought we having sex!"
"Well, Yuffie thought Cloud was a nudist, but she didn't run
away from the GAME!!!" The "ninja" screamed, and ran off, presumably
to piss off Cid and Barret.
"Duh, me no has booty!" Cloud said, sulking cutely.
"Ooooh, you are so CUTE!" Sephiroth squealed as he rose
conveniently out of the ground. He pinched Cloud's little nose.
'Kawaaaaaaaaaaiiiiii!!!!"
Haha!" Barret laughed at Cloud.
"Hey, wasn't Yuffie supposed to be bugging you?" Sephiroth
asked.
"You kiddin' ?! I don't take none of that from no little ninja
wanna-be girl that-"
"BAAAAAARREEEET!!!!" Yuffie screamed at the top of her lungs.
"SHI'IT! Later!" Barret ran off flailing his arms wildly from
side to side like he usually does. Yuffie came running down the hill
at top speed.
"Heeeee I'm gonna catch ya Mr. Barret!" Barret was desperately
trying to get away, but the fact that he could only run at a measly
1.5 mph was his downfall.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" Yuffie leapt at Barret...
Barret screamed like a little girl and ran away, Yuffie
jumping up in the air and clinging to his head like a barnacle.
"Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here!" Sephiroth said.
Selphie ran up wearing Irvine's clothes. "Hey hey!"
"You can't say 'hey hey', only Palmer can say that!" Cloud said.
"Screw you, Mr. Chocobo Head!" Selphie shrieked, stomping on
Cloud's foot. Cloud yelped and started jumping around. Sephiroth sat
down with a big bowl of popcorn and laughed his pretty ass off.
"HEY HEY HEY!" Came a voice from beyond the hills.
"Who the hell is that?"
"Dunno"
"HEY HEY HEY!!!!"
"oh god, it's getting closer!"
just then a round, fat head popped up above the hill.
"HEY HEY HEY!!!"
"Who the hell are you?" Barret asked.
"Why I'm Palmer's brother, Remlap!"
"OH DEAR GOD!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!" yelled Cid.
"Did you say Palmer? Hey! I used to know one of them Uhh...bad guys
named Palmer!...is you bad?"
"Careful Cloud, don't get hurt there." Sephiroth taunted.
"No, I'm just here looking for some hot chicks."
"OH! WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO??" Barret said sarcastically. "WE'RE
OVERFLOWING WITH HOT GIRLS HERE!"
"HEY! SHUT UP!" yelled Yuffie.
"So uh, where can I find some girls huh huh?"
Sephiroth grinned most evilly. "I know a BEAUTIFUL girl! She
has long, flowing, purple, scaly tentacles, and is actually half-male,
and looks like a giant chickpea in her most powerful form!"
"OOOOH! OOOOH!" Remlap said, bouncing back and forth in an
amazingly lithe show of contortionisms. "WHAT'S HER NAME?"
"Tifa?" asked Cloud.
"ASSHOLE!" Tifa shot Cloud in the head with a loaded G-String.
"That's the last time I ever let YOU videotape me in the shower!"
"Eeeeeeeeew!" said Sephiroth, and threw some popcorn at Tifa.
She screamed and ran away.
"Girls are stupid, tee hee!" Cloud exclaimed.
"Yeah, girls suck!" Remlap yelled.
"Damn stupid bitches can't even make tea right!" Cid said.
"Plus, I never got a date for the Junior Prom!"
"Let's get some strawberry ice cream and do MAKEOVERS!"
Sephiroth suggested. All four men shrieked "GOODY GOODY!" and ran off
to find their sleeping bags, nail polish, and lacy pale pink nightgowns.
Suddenly, they ran into the greatest terror known to man. A
horrible, evil-minded creature named....
PIKACHU
"PIKA PIKA!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Everyone screamed as loud as they could, and started to run. Then
SNORLAX landed in front of their path.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Soon, Pokemon blocked every direction! "WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO??" Barret
asked.
"uh uh....Cloud have idea!"
"STOP JOKING AROUND CLOUD!, THIS IS SERIOUS!" Sephiroth yelled.
Quickly, Sephiroth unsheathed his Masamune. Faster than
anyone could follow, Sephiroth QUICKLY chopped up all the Pokemon into
bite sized pieces.
"I WAS GONNA DO THAT!" Barret yelled. Everyone laughed as they ate
their pikastew and pokechew.
::Will our Hero's find the girls their looking for, or will their
path be confronted by the evil ________????" FIND OUT IN THE NEXT
EPISODE! where cloud will take off his pants!::
"Well, you heard the man! Take off your pants!" Sephiroth
scolded the blond man as he scraped up the last of his PikaStew with a
PikaRoll.
"Duh, okay!" Cloud took off his pants. Under them, he was
wearing cute little bikini briefs with hearts on them. Awww!!!!!!!
"Well, great, now all dem beetches is gonna be scared away!"
Barret yelled.
"Naw, you know how many fangirls there are for Cloud?"
Sephiroth asked, wiping his mouth.
"Well, in that case, you fruit, why ain't ya stripping, too?"
Cid asked disgruntledly. " 'Least Barret 'n Remlap 'n I gots reasons."
"Polygons." Sephiroth said calmly, and pointed.
"Oh...dear." said Remlap.
"Man! that is ODD!" Cid yelped in fear.
Barret choked on his PikaBurrito.
"PUT 'EM BACK ON!!!" Everyone yelled.
Cloud, sulking, pulled his stupid purple pants back on. "No
more breeziness!" he sulked.
Suddenly, Selphie ran into wherever the hell they were and
screamed--
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Selphie started a chain reaction of screams
starting with Cloud, "AUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" next to Tifa
"AHHHHHHHHH!!" and then to Barret,
"AAAAAAAAAAAshi'itAAAAAAAHHHHHfooHHHHHH!!!!!"
"What is it NOW?!" Sephiroth queried angrily.
"IT'S THEM!" Selphie yelled
"it's who?" Sephiroth asked.
"NO! it's them!"
"Who is them?"
"No he isn't!"
"Who isn't them?"
"RIGHT! NOW YOU'RE GETTING IT!"
"mmhmm, interesting.........." Sephiroth started to draw his
Masamune once again...
"HEY! Their ain't gonna be none a dat up in here!" Barret
flashed some gang signs and all was at peace once again. "We have to
pay attention to Selphie! Now...what's goin 'on here?"
In a flash, the whole area was covered with bright blinding
whiteness. "WHAT THA!" Everyone was dazed and didn't know what the
hell was going on.