This story is following up after my previous, Perfect.
thank you for reading, let me know what you think. :)
Jackson
I can't be more excited for this board meeting to end. I came early this morning, for yesterday's burn victims, and most of the day I was stuck there. Then this meeting that I already postponed couple times. I feel like this day won't end.
I'm already standing from my chair when Meredith remember something and start looking for a piece of paper in her binder.
"Owen gave this paper, told me that he will inform us in head of department meeting tomorrow. But he wants a heads up to us." She says, showing us a paper that looks like an invitation to me.
Bailey reads it out after read it herself, "It's an invitation for Trauma department from Atlantic Trauma Centre, this is for our attendings and fellows. What Hunt want?" She asks Meredith, passing the paper to Arizona who's sitting next to her.
"Nothing. Just an FYI to us." She shrugs answering her.
I hear grumblings and whispers, this will start to something I need to cut this out before these people start another round of speculation over this invitation, I know how these people work. "Ok. If just an FYI, we wrap this up, thank you and good night. See you guys at the meeting tomorrow." And I leave the table walking out to the door.
In the parking lot when I walk to my car, I don't see April's car. Panic suddenly flash in my head, but then I look at my watch and it's already way past her shift. She should be already at home. I haven't talk to her all day, I just come to the day car once today, and Harriet was sleeping at that time so I told the girls there not wake her up just for me.
When I get inside my car, I think to call her, but seeing the time I might probably waking her up from sleep. So I just text her, checking maybe she will answer back so I know whether she still up or no.
She doesn't reply my text, she calls me instead, what a relief.
"Halo Jackson" she says.
"April hey, I don't know you still up" I say.
"I'm still up, Harriet just down couple minutes ago. She is so cranky tonight." She says. At the distance I can hear some moving sounds, I think she is still doing something there.
"Is she ok? I didn't get the chance to meet her today." I ask, getting nervous she's getting something. Because I think it's so easy for her to catch something from the day care recently.
"She's ok. Don't worry, I checked her, she just doesn't want to sleep yet. Where are you? Board meeting just finish?" She asks.
Sighing I say, "Yes finally finish. I just think that will never end. I should never postpone it before."
I hear her laughs hearing my answer, "told you once and many times before, but hey the Jackson Avery never needs a suggestion."
"I hate you, you know that right." I say. It just starts her laugh, she holds her laugh to not disturb Harriet I think.
"Of course I know. You hate me that much." Answers her, still laughing at me. "Where are you by the way?"
"Still at hospital, on my way back home." I say, starting my car.
"In car? Don't kill yourself, don't drunk drive, you drive save to home, not to some pub. You're too old for that, you hear me Avery?" she says. I'm sure she's having a rough day. One of the thing she loves to do when she has a rough and tiring day is tease me and I will never get the chance to tease back.
"Yes. Still in my car. No, I will drive straight to home, can't wait to sleep." I say
"No dinner?" she asks
"You nosy tonight Kepner. What's got into you?" I laugh at her, hearing she laughs too
Still smiling at her I hear another beep in my phone, taking back the phone I see that my mom's calling waiting at the end of my call with April. I don't realize I sigh so hard, April even can hear it.
"Sorry sorry, I let you off now. I know you're tired." She says
"No! Just my mom calls, I know she needs a summary from the meeting." I say. I don't know which one upset me the more, my mom call or ending of my call with April.
"Well, take it. Umm and.."
"What?" I ask
"You can come over. Umm if you want to of course. I have dinner here, and you haven't see baby bird today, so.." she says
"If you don't mind, yes." I say. I know I failed to sound less excited.
"Ok. Call when you get here. I'll ring you up. Bye Jackson." She says
I end the call to answer my mom call. What she needs is exactly what I'm thinking. I tell her about tonight's meeting, some notes I prepare for her. I never get over the way my mom takes notes on short conversation like this, she remembers so much. This call ends longer than I expected, I never can avoid a discussion with my mom these days, even on the phone.
April
What just got trough me?! What the hell was I thinking.
I just invite Jackson over.
I know by his voice that he is super tired tonight. I know the fire yesterday got him paged in the middle of the night and he can never leave the burn floor today. He said he also missed his time with Harriet today. He got terrible day, no better than mine. I just think it's the least I can do.
He did the same thing when I had a worst day before. He had Harriet with him that night. When they were on the way home, Jackson stopped by outside of the ER by the door, (outside! I can't get over the way he said "It's ER April! Full of germs and blood, I don't want her to see it.") to let me see her before they went home. He let me go to his place even, if I want. But I didn't make it home that night though.
I don't want something funny and more with him. He will have no dinner in his place, my guess he will only get meal at the hospital tomorrow, no breakfast either for him. So from that and Harriet with me, it's a friendly offer from me.
I set my head straight and go to the bathroom, freshen up myself a little and go to the kitchen heating up my dinner that I already put in the refrigerator.
It's a little 30 minutes after our call ends, and Jackson still not call me back yet. I start to think that he might go straight to home. I think to call him, ask him whether he still be on his way when I hear Harriet cries. I leave the kitchen to go to her room.
Harriet is full crying when I get there, I don't know what got into her tonight. I take her in my arms and I walk around in her room, try to sooth her. Her cry is slowing down, even just a little but she still upset over something.
"What's wrong baby? Mommy's right here." I try to talk to her. She looks up to me, with tears still going down from her eyes. I wipe it out and kiss her forehead repeatedly.
When finally she stops her cry, my phone ringing in my pocket. I know it must be Jackson. I put Harriet to my other shoulder, to reach my phone so I can answer her father. But my movement triggered her cry again.
"Hey April. Sorry did I wake you up?" He says
"No. Harriet just wake up. Come on up." I say while I walk to my door
When I open the door to him, and he sees that Harriet is in my arm crying, his face suddenly changes into his worried mode.
"Heeey, what's wrong baby girl?" he says, asking me with his face to take Harriet from me
I hand her over to his arms, Harriet sees that it's her dad coming immediately put her arms around her father's neck after that. Jackson kisses her head, inhaling her. And suddenly everything is good in her world again.
Nodding to Jackson I say, "She just misses her dad. I should know that." I close the door, ushering Jackson inside.
Jackson just smiles at me while rubbing his hand in Harriet's back. "Lucky for her, because of her mom I'm coming here." He says
"Yeah whatever. If it's not for you she will not stop crying anyway." I say, walking to the kitchen grab some drink from the refrigerator, "what do you want to drink?" I ask
"Anything you have, something cold, please." He says, sitting in the stool after following me to the kitchen, still rubbing and kissing Harriet like they haven't meet for years.
"Water?" I ask
"Water please, ma'am." He says. Rolling his eyes to me.
I take Harriet from him, so he can eat, but apparently I need to sit next to him in order to keep Harriet happy. She really misses her dad so bad, she doesn't want him to be far from her sight. When he finishes, he takes Harriet back in his arm until she's down to sleep and put her back in her crib when he leaves.
We talk about our day, just a little talk. Because we know we need to get some rest and Jackson will have another meeting day tomorrow, I don't want to hold him here too long.
We are good at talking now. I feel like I get my best friend back, my old best friend. We know our boundaries and what we can do and can't do. We know we can trust each other, and we have each other back. Especially at night like this. Even if I don't ask him over, if in the middle of the night I have Harriet crying looking for her dad, if I call him Jackson will come over immediately.
I know I have hope, I know he knows that I have it. And I know he hopes the same thing. It's just I don't feel I'm ready to start talking about it. I don't want to rush things I don't know for sure. But at the same time, it's irritate me how we let everything up in the air. I get teased over it, Arizona teases me over and over again and questioned my choice to let this hanging to long. I know Jackson gets it too, he said to me once or twice. But we don't care, I'm glad he doesn't care too.
Jackson
I wake up in the morning from the alarm that I set. I left my phone at April's place last night. I realized it when I get home, wanted to set the alarm. I was dead tired, I didn't have the energy to call her.
I rush my morning routine so I can get to the hospital faster, I have documents to check first before meeting with head of departments. I want to puke thinking what I need to do today. I send an email to April, letting her know I left my phone at her place. And get going to the hospital.
The meeting is over quicker than I thought it will be. Just some adjustment for new regulation and some updates need to be done. And turns out Hunt already choose who's going to go from Atlantic's invitation. It really is his choice as the department head, but for some selfish reason, I want him to go, but I don't really have a say in here.
I was talking with Karev when I see April holding Harriet walking to me. She probably brings my phone to me or Harriet is still in sour mood so she needs to find me.
"Hey!" I say
"Hey. Harriet has something you are waiting for." She says cheerily
"Morning Kepner, Morning little Kepner." Karev says, waving to my Harriet
"She's little Kepner-Avery!" I say, pat his back.
"Well look at her! she's smiling, laughing, looks like her mother. Not like you, you always have a frown in your face. Am I right baby boss?" Karev says. He uses his peds power, gaining a clap and a laugh from Harriet and her mother. "See! She agrees with me."
"Whatever Karev." I say. I look at April asking what she wants to give me, "What she wants to give me?" I ask
"Oh. Your phone. Sorry it's in my bag, outside sleeve. My hands kinda full." She says looking at Harriet that still laughing for Karev
"Right, thank you. I really forgot I left it there." I say, taking the phone from April's bag
Look up from playing with Harriet, Karev says, "Why you left your phone at her place Avery? Too hurry leaving the place this morning, huh?" smirking at his own joke.
April's face becomes red so much, she might make Karev thinks what he's thinking. I shove him before he starts talking, knowing that he will not let me off easily from this. "Shut up. Not your business."
Then I walk April with Harriet to the day care, leaving Karev alone. I will deal with him later.
April
I left dr. Hunt office, and walk back to the ER. I will be going to ATC next week. I need to talk to Jackson about this, make arrangement for Harriet and all. I will be going for the whole weekdays, I will go on Monday morning and get back on Friday. This should be interesting, a trauma conference. I went to one before with dr. Hunt, so this will be the first time I go solo. Representing Grey-Sloan.
I meet with Arizona on the elevator, she's smiling when she looks at me entering.
"Hi April." She says
"Hi dr. Robbins." I say. I know that she knows something from the way she's smiling to me. She just waits for me to spill it on her. Because nothing happened, I don't think I have anything to spill.
She is now giggling over nothing, I turn to look at her. "What?" I ask
"You hide it so bad, I can even see it." She says
"What am I hiding from you?" I ask again
"Karev told me.." she starts
"What Karev told you is nothing." I cut her. I know he must be telling her. He must be run to Arizona right after me and Jackson left him behind this morning.
"Really? Because a guy left a phone over at your place is nothing you?" she asks, smiling so prod like she fix the hardest trouble.
"It's nothing." I insist. Then I walk out of the elevator, but just in my luck seems like Arizona happen to go to ER too.
"But why was he in your place at the first time? Come on Aps, you know you can tell me." She trails behind me, pushing for more answer from me.
I stop at the ER desk, turn around facing her, "He came over because he hadn't meet Harriet all day." Then blinking my eyes, waiting for her to leave me.
"Ok. Then he left his phone, where?" she asks again
"ARIZONA!" I yell, making everyone around looking to us.
She is so surprise I yelled, looking around checking everyone who looks at us. "Alright alright. no need to yell, god!" Then she walks away back to wherever she's needed.
I make sure she really is going somewhere else before I turn around.
"Everything's alright dr. Kepner?" I look up to see it's Jo Wilson asking me
I take a long breath before I answer, "Yes. Update me dr. Wilson."
And she starts to update me, with her trying to hide her smile.
I talk to Jackson about the conference later at night, when we take Harriet from Day care. Again, I see that Jackson is so exhausted he might passed out.
"You ok taking Harriet the whole week?" I ask him.
We are walking to the day care, I don't think he pays much attention to what I'm saying.
"Jackson?" I stop walking, put my hand in his shoulder asking him to stop too.
He looks up to me, "Yes, not a problem. I was thinking about something else, sorry." Then we continue our walk
"You will go alone?" He asks again. Opening the door to me, letting me in first to the day care.
"Yes. If he asks me to go, then he needs to stay in the ER every time. God help him keep the ER safe while I go, I'll pray for that." I answer him. He chuckles from my answer.
"I second that. It's nice of him finally showing you off, sending you out and all." He dramatically says
I shove his shoulder, "Shut up." I say
Jackson
April came to my house on Sunday Afternoon, even before lunch. Harriet is sick, she was warm and became cranky since the day before. I'm right, like I said before, Harriet really is easy to pick up something from the day care recently. I need to talk to April to fix this. I barely hold myself seeing Harriet sick and cries her lung off again and again.
This is difficult for me, but even more difficult for April because she will leave on Monday. Not only she will be away for around 4 days but also she will be away while our daughter is sick. I know she trust me with Harriet, because sometimes Harriet just want to cling on me too, but it's against her mother instinct to leave her daughter in sick. So it's not just Harriet I will be taking care of but also her panic mom too.
I just coming back from drug store, when I heard not only Harriet's cry but also April's. It's 8 pm, I bet April is so exhausted the stress get the better of her. I walk to Harriet's room, peeking a little before I go in, I wanna make sure what is going on inside. April is sitting on the floor holding Harriet in her arms, she rubs the back of Harriet's head slowly trying to stop her tears.
"I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry. I know you feel bad, but you need your sleep." She says, holding back her tears
"Hey." I say softly, entering the room. I put the paper bag on the desk and sit next to April on the floor. "This little tiger cry again?" I put my hand in Harriet's back, she turns her head to me throwing her hand for me to hold.
"She doesn't want to sleep. Every time I put her down, she starts crying again." She says, blinking her eyes when she talks. She tries so hard to hold back her cry.
"Here let me take her, you go take bath freshen up a bit. Then you pack you bag. I got her." I take Harriet from her mom. Standing up to walk her around the house. I take April's hand while I standing, asking her to stand up too so she will go as my suggestion. I know she will be here sitting, probably gonna cry some more. I don't want her to do that.
"Come on, April." I say
"I think I'm going to call Owen, I'll tell him Harriet is sick. I can't go" She says looking up to me, hey eyes are glossy. She then hold my offered hand to stand up, then wipes her tears.
Before she turns to take her phone out, I take her hand again and I say, "No. You still going to ATC tomorrow. You go there, showing off and all. Harriet is fine, fever's down. She will be with me. I have my day off tomorrow, so it's fine."
"Jackson, but.." she whines
"See. She's already asleep on me. She's fine April." I say to her. Harriet really is something, she can be crying out loud and the next minutes she'll be asleep on me or April. I'm glad that she's like me in this part.
In the morning I wake up before April does. I walk out of my room, seeing that April still asleep in her old room where she left the door ajar. I walk down to Harriet's nursery, she's still down too. I get in to check her, the fever's gone. I walk out to the kitchen, make coffee and left back thinking to take a bath.
Just a little over 7 am, I'm sitting on the stool, laptop on the table, I'm typing away some emails I need to reply. I see April walk to the room, with her suitcase and bags.
"Good morning. You ready?" I ask her. She looks good in suit, she always has.
"Good morning. I've never been more not ready like this in my entire life." She says. Eyeing me eyeing her. I laugh at her. It surprises me that her coping system when she's nervous is snapping now. I'd like to think that she takes so much bad things from me, I don't like to be corrected.
"What time the car arrives to pick you up?" I ask. She walks to get coffee for herself and take some toast I left in the plate in front of me
"Well, well, since when you prepare breakfast Avery? I never knew you like toast in .." she stops mid sentences, presses her lips together, realizing her mistake.
"What food you say I don't like Kepner?" I turn my face to her, I challenge her to answer my question.
I didn't realize our face are so close, hell I don't even realize she is sitting next to me.
I know I shouldn't be looking, but I can't resist to look at her face, her lips, her eyes. She looks at me just the same. There's a pull between us, we can't deny it anymore. I move my face close to her, I know I'm close I can smell her perfume invading my sense. I put my hand in her cheek, I know this is a super dangerous territory, I don't want to make her in and regret it later.
"We should.." I say
"Yes, we should" she says, face getting close to mine. I feel dizzy to be this close with her.
"Jackson." She whispers, both hands in my face. She rubs her thumbs in my cheekbones.
I turn my body, to face her completely. I look at her face, I really look at her face. The beautiful face I love, I always love. I move to kiss her cheek, I linger there before I move to kiss the side of her head. She moves her hands to my waist, she hold me tight. I feel like the position is not comfortable at all, I stand then I hold her head to me.
I don't need a passionate kiss to seal this, to make me feel I'm home and I get April back. With her in my arms like this I know we agree to start everything we are afraid to begin. I don't need words to start, but I know we will talk, we need a lot of talking to begin our relationship back. But I don't need that now, I just want to hold her, I just want to hold this girl.
I don't know how long we are holding each other, but I can feel Harriet is waking up before I hear her cry. When I let April go from my hold, I don't realize she is crying. "Hey hey hey, why are you crying?" I ask. I brush my thumbs in her cheek, wiping away her tears.
She just smiles to me, shaking her head, then I know it's not sad tears.
"Finish your breakfast. I take the baby." I let go of her, kiss her head before I walk to Harriet's nursery.
"Hmm by the way, the car should be here any minutes." I hear her say
"What is that?" I ask when I return to the kitchen with Harriet
"The car. You were asking when the car will pick me up." She says. Smiling to Harriet and brushing her curly hair. "Look who's here. Good morning baby."
I smile to them, Harriet is still in my arms, turning her head to look at her mother, a small laugh escapes her mouth.
April
When the car arrives, we bring Harriet out of the house with us. Jackson helps me bring my suitcase to the trunk and I hold Harriet until I need to leave. Thanks God I didn't forget to notice the driver that I need him to pick me up in Jackson's house instead of my apartment. These two days already hard as they were, I don't need another problem coming to me this morning.
Last night I thought that leaving Harriet with Jackson after she just got the fever down was hard, I just wanted to hold her and take care of her. But after this morning, just minutes ago, I really don't want to leave. It's not only Harriet that I don't want to leave but her father too. We have tons and tons homework need to be done, we need to talk, we have a relationship to start. I just don't want to go.
"April." Jackson calls. "Come on. We don't want to be late."
"Off course we don't want to be late." I come to him. I kiss Harriet goodbye before I give her to Jackson.
Jackson smiles at me, I know he's making a brave face just to make me calm. If he's not, I'll hate him if he really this happy to let me go.
"Say bye bye to mommy baby." He says. "You should go now." He adds
I nod, and turn around to open the door. But I hear something before I enter the car.
"April, hey. Call me when you land." Jackson says.
I smile, I know he just pretending everything is fine, I know him. I put my handbag inside of the car, so I can have both my hands free. Then I hold him, I put my head in his shoulder. I hold him tight. Then I feel him kiss my hair.
"Ok, ok, now off you go. Before I change my mind." He brushes my hair, kissing it again.
I still have my hands in him. I look up, seeing his eyes looking down to me. "Promise me, we talk after this. No running, no hiding." I say.
"No running, no hiding. I'm in." He nods.