I: the name

"Do you... think we did the right thing back then, Nick?"

The grave site was hastily made. Dug shallowly, but they did their best to treat the body with respect and say a few nice things before burying her somewhere deep into the woods by the stream. They're sure her sister would have wanted that for her. They're sure Luke would have wanted that for her. A decent burial, at the very least.

They dressed her in one of the dark night gowns from the pits of Howe's storage, the fabric fitting her figure poorly and awkwardly. Her stomach was still bulged out slightly, thighs still stained in her own blood. Her hair was longer than it had been when they first returned to Howe's, so Sarah had made the effort to tie it back with a worn down silk ribbon for the burial. She wasn't on good terms with Jane before this, so maybe this was her own way of showing her forgiveness for the past year.

Once the body was covered in soil, Sarah and Nick stood in the chilled silence. Eventually, the quiet made the younger of the pair anxious.

"Well?"

More silence.

"Nick...?"

"What?" Nick looked down with steely blue eyes. His voice is a little too sharp, a little too snappy. Sarah flinched and Nick felt his chest tighten. "I'm... I'm sorry, Sarah. I just..." He looked back into some distant point far into the dusk fog of the forest. The dark circles under his eyes were prominent now, as were Sarah's. Neither had slept much this week. Both knew they wouldn't be getting much sleep for the next few months either. "I don't feel too good."

"It's okay." Sarah gave him a brief look of understanding. She adjusted the bundle in her arms, looking down at the red little newborn. The blanket was still slightly dirtied with Jane's blood, along with whatever matter was on her when she came out. She'd seen the sight once, with Rebecca and her baby, and it never failed to give her the willies. It was so.. gross. But it wasn't the worst thing she'd seen over the past few years.

"I think we did... somethin'."

Sarah frowned. "Something?"

"I... don't know if it was the right thing. Or the wrong thing. But... it's done and over with." Nick looked over at the two of them with a kinder expression. "We... we have to move on."

"Moving on isn't our specialty, is it though?" Sarah looked sadly at Jane's grave. "Never has... but.. soon it might be."

"Well, we can always try, right?" He adjusts the rifle in one hand for just a moment to gently pat Sarah on the back. "We've made it this far, and now we have a baby to handle. We can always just... try to keep goin'.."

"Yeah." She nodded and closed her eyes. "Trying sounds good." The pat on the back felt nice. Like she did a good job, or maybe she accomplished something. She smiled slightly. It was comforting. The comfort broke as the little one in her arms began to fuss and whine. "Let's... get back to Howe's before she starts really crying." She adjusted the baby in her arms to make sure she was held properly as they walked back.

"Sounds good. " Nick followed as they started down the path back to Howe's. "There we can figure out what we should do from here on out. Especially now that we have.. uh..." He looked down at the baby with pressed lips for just a moment. "Shit. Jane didn't name her before she..."

"I know." She tried not to think on earlier on today. She tried real hard not to. "She should of had the chance to. It's... not fair."

"Nothin's really fair at this point." Nick held his rifle close his frame, looking around the path as they went. "But... yeah, I agree. She really should of had that chance."

Another fussy cry sounded from Jane's baby, both's eyes darting around the area in response. "Do you think she's hungry again?" Sarah looked down as they quickened their steps towards Howe's.

"Maybe. I.. I dunno." Nick gently nudged Sarah a little more in front of her with the butt of the rifle. "Let's hurry, though. The last thing we need right now is to get caught by any lurkers.."

"Do you think Jane would have been fine with that?" Sarah looked up at the elder one as she gave the newborn the bottle of formula. The small fire nestled in the middle of the pen kept the area relatively warm, especially now that night had come.

"With givin' her a name?"

"Yeah."

Nick opens his mouth and then closes it. He stares at the ground with saddened eyes, and he's quiet for a little too long again.

Sarah pressed her lips into a fine line. "She wouldn't have been, would she?"

"I doubt that matters at this point." Nick sighed. "Jane's... not here anymore." He looked down at the crackled embers of the fire. "That, and we're going to be her guardians from here on out."

"I guess." Sarah felt uneasy with the idea of going against the mother's wishes, even if the little one's mother was... Jane. "Do you think there was any name in particular she would have wanted?"

"Not that I can-" Nick pauses. He then inhales sharply. "...Wait, fuck, there was one."

"What was it?"

"Jane mentioned it sometime before. Her... Her sister. Think her name was Jaime? Yeah..." He looked over at the nursing baby. "It's a nice name, I'd say."

"Oh. Oh. Right." Sarah let the name simmer in her head for a moment. "Yeah, it's a pretty nice name." She then smiled wide at the little one. "Jaime... do you like that name, little cutie patootie?"

Nick smiled and chuckled. "Well... I think she ought to have a full name as well." He then paused. "Wait, stay here, I'll be right back."

"Nick?" Sarah felt her anxiety spike as he left the pen. Where was he going? She looked back at the little one with soft eyes, trying to preoccupy herself with her for a moment so she wouldn't freak out at being too alone. To her relief, he wasn't gone for too long.

When Nick came back he held a pen, a clipboard, and a small flyer from the back of the store.

"What's that for?"

"She needs a birth certificate." He went over, looking at the two of them. "Or, at least, somethin' with her full name and birthday on it."

Sarah was a little surprised at that."Do you know what the date is?"

"Well, no." Nick frowned a little. "Not the exact date. Wish I did, but..." He looked up. "Any guess is as good as that, I suppose?"

That was true. "If anything we can say she was born in the very start of Fall." She pulled away her bottle, gently setting it to the side. She was quick to burp her before she started to fuss again. "Right when the leaves began to turn."

"Good way to put it." Nick wrote it down.

"Make sure we can read it, too."

"I'm tryin'." Truth be told, he hadn't really written much since the beginning of this mess. It was weird holding a pen now, nonetheless writing with it. He went as slowly as he could to make sure it was legible. "Alright. A little autumn kid."

"Now... the name." Sarah adjusted the now sleepy newborn in her arms, rocking her slightly. "Jaime... Jaime is a really good one. That should be her first name."

"Alright..." He jotted it down. "Last name... Porter."

"Porter?"

"It was Luke's last name." Nick's eyes narrowed in a soft grimace, eyes glazing over slightly. He tried to smile. He tried to think back on the kinder days with his fallen friend, even if it did hurt. His absence had brought Nick tumbling down, and for a while he... he couldn't stand being alive. He made a promise to try to live, though, at least for Sarah's sake. The kid was all alone, and the last thing she needed was another friend dying. Nick looked over at Jaime. "I wish he could see her. He would have loved her."

Sarah nodded sadly. "He had a soft heart, right? Even for babies?"

"Oh, the softest." Nick felt tears form in the corners of his eyes, lips quivering softly. "I... Fuck, Jesus..."

Sarah looked him over for a moment, gaze filled with empathy. "Hey, Nick, if you need to let it out, go ahead and do it." Her voice was gentle. "It's just us. And I cry almost every day, you know? You should... you should be able to as well." She pulled her seat close to Nick's to gently rest her head on the side of his arm. He usually liked that. Any form of comforting contact that showed that he could let his walls down without repercussions. "You don't have to hide it, okay?"

There was a small moment of quiet, before his breathing grew shaky and he pulled his hat over his face. It wasn't long before he allowed himself to quietly cry.

That was something good about Sarah. She was one of the few people he'd ever known in his life that he could cry around without feeling... bad. She was the kind of person he'd felt okay enough with to show his weaker side to without having to worry about being told to 'man up'. As much as it was awful just being by themselves, Nick was glad he had Sarah as company. Crying alone wasn't exactly fun, but having someone there to let you cry it all out until you felt better and then comforted you? Sarah was a good person. A good friend. A good little sister, as Nick would say.

It was a little while before his crying ceased and he wiped his tear trails onto his sleeves.

"Sorry, Sarah.."

"Don't be." There was a soft smile in her tone, warm and comforting. "...Jaime Porter..." She mused again. "She still needs a middle name."

"Yeah..." Nick sat back in his chair, sighing tiredly. "Any suggestions?"

Sarah looked up at him for a while, silent before looking back into the embers. "Don't be mad, but, I have an idea."

"Why would I be mad?" Nick made a weird face at that. "Any idea right now is a good one."

Her face brightened for just a moment before it fell. "Since we're her guardians now, and she's kind of a namesake from the two people who brung her into the world..." She inhaled deeply. "Maybe we should give her another two names from the people of our past."

Nick froze, staring off into a point somewhere at the edge of the pen. He let her words sink in, eyelids growing heavy. "Namesakes..." He echoed. "Yeah... Yeah, that sounds perfect actually."

"Alright.." Sarah looked down at Jaime with warm eyes. "Do you want to throw one in before I do?"

He inhaled shakily, closing his eyes and trying to find it in him to utter his name after the fact. He never stops thinking about the name, about him, even a year after it all.

Finally, he found it in him to say it without crying immediately again.

"Peter." He breathed out. "P-Peter."

Sarah looked over at him with shocked eyes. "Your uncle..?"

Nick's lip quivered again and he put a hand up to cover his mouth. He nodded slowly.

"I like it." Sarah breathed out. "Can... can I throw in an extra one, too? Just to make her name a little longer?"

Nick half-chuckled half-cried at that. "Y-Yeah... Go ahead, kid."

Sarah was in the same spot as Nick now. Trying to figure out a way to speak after years of never directly uttering his name. It hurt. God it hurt. But the saddened feeling of warmth in her gut gave her the courage to say it.

"Carlos." She choked out softly. "My dad... I..." She started to cry as Nick put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I... I don't want my dad to be forgotten... I'm all that's left of our family and now..."

"I... I feel you, Sarah."

That was right. Nick was the last of his family too. Sarah looked up at him with saddened eyes.

Her lips quivered. "We can't let them be forgotten. We can't... We.."

"We won't." He gently squeezed her shoulder. "Alright? They won't be forgotten. Not ever."

He looked outside of the pen, by the barred area where the night sky could be seen. "We'll... We can tell her all about them. So when it's our turn... she can pass everything we've told her on to someone else."

Sarah looked over with him. "They'll... They'll never really be forgotten then, right?"

Nick looked back at her with a smile. "Never."

The younger let out a soft sigh. Her father would never be forgotten. Nick's Uncle would never be forgotten. Luke and Jane. The people back at the cabin.

"Alright..." Sarah breathed out. "Alright... that sounds good to me."

The two of them turned their eyes to little Jaime. She had a sleepy look on her, though she wasn't a sleep quite yet. Her eyes were open slightly, wandering around between the two of them.

"Jaime Peter-Carlos Porter." Nick hesitantly moved his pinky finger to where Jaime could hold it, and the child instant grabbed onto it. "We'll tell you everything we can about the people before you, okay?"

Jaime stretched out and yawned wide, curling back up into her blanket and settling there. Sarah smiled.

"And you'll never be alone. At least, as long as uncle Nick and big sister Sarah are here." She finally said.

"Uncle Nick and big sister Sarah, huh?"

"Yeah. You look more like an uncle than a brother, if you ask me."

Nick cheeks reddened and there was a sense of overwhelming pride swelling in his chest.

"Uncle..." He sighed the word almost wistfully. Uncle. He never thought he'd live long enough to be an uncle, nonetheless be the guardian to a baby.

The firewood crackled and a familiar warmth surrounded the trio.

They didn't feel alone then.

And the world, for once, though unsure, seemed brighter than it had been before now.

A/N: Hey there! Thank you for reading the first chapter to another project I've started, Constant as the Stars Above (CatSA)! As you've read this is a canon deviation/au where Sarah and Nick survive past Episode 4 and Jane carried her child to term.

This story is mainly going to be a season 3 rewrite..? Almost.

BIG NOTE: At this point, I'm writing this as of the Episode 4 of TWDG Season 3, so anything mentioned in regards to that, which doesn't correlate with the Season 3 finale and beyond, is due to that and for current plot sake.

Feedback and any hopes for future chapter content would be gladly appreciated! (I have the main plot already written out, but if there's any interactions or scenes you'd like to see be highlighted on as the story unfolds, tell me!)

Again, thank you for reading, and I hope you have a nice day!