'Ello everyone,
This little one shot is a story I wrote after a very bad dance class I had. While the dialogue is a little off, the story itself is true. If anybody takes a meaning from this story I hope it's to not feel bad about yourself if you can't do something that other people can. You should always feel beautiful about yourself and be proud of who you are. Because if you can't love yourself then how can you expect anyone else to?
Kisses,
Luvylinds
My mind started to drift as I moved my body to the rhythm of the music. I knew I had messed a step up, but there was nothing I could do about it. Being overweight made it harder for me to move my body in all of the ways that the skinny girls could.
I had been bigger for as long as I could remember. At the end of puberty I only topped out at 5"2' and weighed 154 pounds. While I was a bigger girl, I tried to do my best at whatever I did. I had danced all through my freshman and sophomore years in high school and now going into my junior year, I was still dancing. What all my years had taught me was that not all girl's bodies could move the same way. However, a good dancer could find a way to work her body into the most graceful and beautiful movements they could do.
Today had to be by the far the worst day in my dancing history. My new instructor had choreographed a dance for me that my body could not do. My body couldn't bend, twist nor turn the way she wanted it to. And what's worse is that she tormented me because of it. Every move I couldn't do she pointed out and harped on. Every criticism out of her mouth just made me fell fatter and clumsier. Half way through the session I just wanted to crawl into the nearest hole and die.
"Bella, why can't you just do the jump? I mean come on its not that hard." The instructor sneered at me.
"I'm sorry ma'am. My body just can't move like that." I said. Every word spoken was making me feel more and more ashamed of myself.
"If you would just try harder instead of just being a defeatist." I could hear the scorn in her voice and it did nothing to help me. I wished I had never started dancing. Nothing in my life had ever made me feel so fat or ashamed of my body or myself. "You could do anything if you would just try." She continued.
"I couldn't fly." I mumbled back.
"What?"
"Well I couldn't fly if I wanted to." I said getting really pissed. How dare she make me feel ashamed? What gave her the right to do that? And who was I to let her? "You know what, I am not skinny. I will never be skinny. No matter how much I diet, exercise, or liposuction I will never be skinny. I have a big frame and nothing will ever change that. There are some things my body will never be able to do no matter how hard I try or how many times I practice. And as a dance teacher you should know that. It's your job to be able to show girls the best way to make their bodies look beautiful in movement. Not to make them feel like shit because they can't do certain things. And if you can't do that then maybe you should think of a change of profession."
Having finished my rage infused rant I turned and headed for the door.
"Bella! Wait, I'm sorry." She called out to my retreating figure.
With one last look I tossed over my shoulder, "You should be." And then I left until the next class.