Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I make any profit. They all belong to their respective owners.
To all those who notice, I respect your work. I am influenced by those greater than me, so please forgive me if you think I take and do not give. For I shall give you all smiles, once a month at least.
Author' Note: And yes, this is a crack fic.
-Scene Break-
He ran. He ran for his life from the crazy ass esper who wanted to challenge him.
It was July 20th, the first day of summer vacation.
Allegedly.
"God fucking damn it! I can't believe my luck, no wait I can… This is so fucking unfair!" He gasped for breath and calmly walked to his dorm, and complained the lack of electricity.
The next morning, a girl named Index Librorum Prohibitorum fell out of the sky onto his apartment balcony, told him that magic is real, and helped herself to all his food.
FUCK!
What If
A Certain Fanfic
By
Addikhabbo
-Scene Break-
Tokyo. Population approximately 16 million within city limits. Unfamiliar to him; a distant memory for her. She spent the next 20 minutes looking at maps as if it were a pot of gold.
-Scene Break-
Sometimes, he wondered.
Why is the sky blue?
Why is the land brown?
And why is he constantly dragged to hell?!
It's all because of Imagine Breaker! Stupid Imagine Breaker. It can't even find a host without fucking them up side-ways.
He was enjoying some well deserved rest, a luxury people take for granted, when he heard a loud thump from the direction of the balcony.
He knew then, as fate demanded it, this was going to be a looooonnnnnnngggggggg day.
-Scene Break-
So apparently, magic is real. At least that's what she said. Beside Touma, Index was sprawled on the floor, making her alleged spells. Well, can't show impatience in front of a psycho. That's what death's for!
"Ah hey Inex, I'm just going to get some food. Mind if you wait?"
The nun, who doesn't even look like a nun, wearing a casual black shirt and jeans was too engrossed in her satanic rituals to pay him attention. "HMM!' she said. Her age was about 14 or 15. She looked about a year or two younger than Kamijou. She must have been foreign because her skin was pure white and her hair was as well... No, silver. Her hair was rather long, so it completely covered her upside down head, hiding her face from view. Kamijou guessed it must go down to her waist normally.
"Okay! I'll be back, later." Touma calmly walked for the door, opened it, walked outside, closed it, and ran like hell.
Oh shit! Some crazy fuck was in his room! Not that he minded, but maybe she might need an expert on these things? Like that albino. Hmm. Funny memory is funny.
He stopped by a post lam and held it for support. With the meters he's crossed he could become an athlete! Inhale, exhale.
Touma chose to walk a different route this time, hoping against hope that his luck won't fuck with him twice.
"Hey there! So you're Kamijou Touma?" An absurdly cheerful and feminine voice called out to him.
He crossed his fingers and begged to God that this be the turning point in his life full of fuck.
Touma turned and saw a long-haired girl dressed in Tokiwadai Middle School's uniform approaching him. Unlike Mikoto however, her socks appears to have lace around the edges and she wore a pair of elbow-length gloves with the same lace pattern on them. With her very expensive golden hand-bag, is that Gucci?
Very rich person, yes, she must be very wealthy. And he had a bad feeling about this. Another fabulous not-normal day in the life of Touma Kamijou if he dare say so himself happens before his eyes.
As if Mikoto and Shirai weren't enough. Oh well, he just can't help himself when it comes to the needy. He wasn't actually gonna report Index anyways.
-Scene Break-
Shokuhou Misaki gave the boy before her a calculated look as she stopped 3 meters from him. He's slightly taller than her, with a somewhat tired look on his face. Apart from his distinctive black, spiky hair, everything else gives the vibe normal.
With all the suppositions about Mikoto's boyfriend rivaling her in terms of power, he sure doesn't look it.
"Can I help you?" He inquired. Using her fabulous ability to its utmost aspect, Misaki heard the boys' stray thought.
Misaki had to suppress a laugh from escaping. Really now, when people hear 'Tokiwadai' do they think of violent middle school girls that bring trouble?
(What the hell have you been up to, Railgun?)
"Yes, I do believe you can help me." Misaki smiled winningly. "Tell me, what do you think of Misaka Mikoto?"
"Huh?"
"I'll make it simple: What comes to your mind when you think of the girl called Misaka Mikoto?"
She began reading him, and stopped halfway through.
Wait.
No way. Oh shi-!
!
Before she realized it, Touma held her left shoulder with his right hand.
"Like what you see?" He inquired, this time with a much more predatory nature in his question.
"Hmm?" She smiled and hoped she gets to live another day.
"Are you a mind reader of some sort?"
(Fuck! What to do what to do? What can I do against someone who kicked Dark Matter's ass? Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!)
This was so not part of her oh so un fabulous plan. Ambush Mikoto's boyfriend, read the thoughts of Mikoto's boyfriend, then erase her existence from the memory of Mikoto' boyfriend.
Now she just wants her mommy.
Misaki glanced around.
(Not a fucking scapegoat in sight! Not that seems to matter. Heh, matter. My powers aren't working anyway. Not with his right arm on my shoulder.)
A piece of her wondered if this is what Mikoto felt when she fought him in the past: Feeling absolutely powerless without her abilities to back her up, being reduced to nothing but a school girl.
She giggled. Is this what Kakine felt? Facing someone who constantly holds back and crush them on a whim? A level zero. Ha! She begged to the holy trinity that she be forgiven of her sins before she passes on to the afterlife.
A greater piece of her still rational mind was too busy worrying if an invisible monster would devour her should she lie.
"Yes… You could say that…" Misaki found the ground absolutely stunning! Is this where her blood's gonna go splat? Oh Gungha, if he could see her now, her Sensei would be most un-pleased.
(Come to think of it, they have the same feel. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I'll die anyway.)
"So who sent you? What did you learn? And is this related to Mugino?!"
"Mugino?!" She returned her gaze to him, a gaze of a brave suicidal martyr. "Leave her out of this!" She couldn't let him touch her friends. Accelerator and Mikoto might be arguing, but they'll get over it. He made a promise…
She can die right here, just so long as he doesn't hurt her dwindling exotic number of friends.
Mugino is in hiding. She can't let him find her!
Kamijou slightly narrowed his eyes at Misaki, checking for something she hoped wasn't there, and she trembled.
She felt it. He removed his arm from her shoulder.
Here it comes! She braced herself for the impact.
He raised his divine holy mighty right hand and!-
-Scene Break-
Touma scratched his back. That didn't feel right, what he did earlier. Sure she might be from the same school as Mikoto and Shirai, but come on! Leaving behind warm liquid?
He didn't mean to make her cry. What's Mugino's business is her business. She can take care of herself. Touma just hoped she didn't fall too late into the darkness, too late for him to drag her back out.
He sighed. Whatever Index's weird magical spell thingy did, it apparently worked, as no one turned up in the middle of the night to spirit her away. Now he just has to carefully move as to not arouse her suspicions-
"Touma! What the hell did I tell you about getting out of bed?!" She screamed from the bathroom.
So close! Fucking so close!
"I can't just stay here all day! Come on Index! At least give me the dignity to walk around my own house!" He screamed back.
"Fine! But wait there!" She said. Took some measurements, she said. She tied a pair of ballpoint pens together with a piece of string and waved them around the room.
Nodding to herself in satisfaction, she smiled back at him. "You may move around, land owner." She teased.
I sighed and put my shirt back on. "Index, could you at least put on some pants?" She wore nothing beside that over grown white shirt of hers, or his. Hmm. Honestly, he can't believe he gave his first time to a completely random person. Whatever, he knows she'll be with him forever.
(Stupid Imagine Breaker.)
Index blushed and poked her tongue out. "Nah! I kind of like this sense of fashion!"
She slowly crawled on to bed. They were as red as tomatoes. "Why Touma? Something about me you don't like?"
He gulped. "O-of course not! It's just in case someone decided to crash our place is all!" Honestly! How does she do that?!
She held his cheeks with her oh so gentle soft hands, and leaned in for the kiss.
"Hello? Is anybody there?" They heard a knock from the door.
"Damn it!" Touma sighed, and gave Index a slight kiss. No stranger's gonna ruin their alone time.
He got up from bed and wore his missing clothes. Touma yawned as he slowly opened the door.
(Whoa. Let's see now. A silver crucifix necklace over a black trench coat thingy. Hmm. Suspicious, but I'm not one to judge others by their beliefs. I look up, and up, up until I finally meet the guy at my door. Long red hair, green eyes, early thirties, tall as hell, wearing a black trench coat. I sighed.)
Touma knew he couldn't get this lucky without some shit to fuck it all up.
"Afternoon." Red says in English. Touma decided to call him red.
He punched Red.
-Scene Break-
It was a dark sunny day.
On an alley, three friends were walking. "So let me get this straight. Magic's real, she's a mage, and you're now hunted by a cabal of magicians."
"Yes! Thank God someone finally understood us!" Touma exhaled, surprised that someone finally took his words with a grain of salt.
"Touma, I don't know what's going on bro, but if you need help, I'm here for you bud!" Mikoto leered.
They were walking back to his apartment, to take care of the hostage situation. Index walked by his left, and Mikoto by his right.
"You also tied some random stranger in your apartment, and gave him pills that paralyze movement for, oh I don't know, three hours?" Her grin was so obvious now, like that cat from that girl who fell in that rabbit's hole.
"Fucking yes!" Index couldn't take it anymore, he takes it? She wore a white hoodie, blue skinny jeans and some sandals. "Touma, why didn't you tell me your friend here was a derp?"
"Hey! I am not a derp, you derp!" Mikoto screamed back. Mikoto really loves her long sleeved uniform. Honestly. Not that Touma was any better. Black hoodie, black pants, shoes, and a designer IB at his back.
"Grr!"
"Grr!"
The two girls stopped walking and were now staring at each other. Index was making a halo, and Mikoto started sparking. He sighed.
"Pff! Hahaha!" Index laughed like there was no tomorrow.
"Oh God! Hahaha! Must…. Breathe! Mikoto gasped for air.
"Honestly girls, we just kidnapped a guy and this is how you react?" He gave them a deadpanned look. The two women went as straight as a rod and saluted him.
"No sir!" Mikoto spoke, in her mockery of a militant greeting their superior.
"We shall begin torture immediately, sir!" Index continued, giving him a face as straight as a soldier's.
Touma grinned back at the two, two steps away from them. "Okay, but I'm not the one who's gonna remove his dick, got it?"
"You fucking pervert!" Mikoto threw a railgun at him, and thanks to his precognition, failed effectively.
"Oh come on! Me was just joking lolz."
Index narrowed her eyes. "Touma, incoming-" before she fell to the ground, bleeding.
"SCORE!" From the alleyway, two figures walked out. Touma checked the girl.
"I've closed the wound! You fuckers be ready for some ass kicking!" Mikoto stood back up beside Touma, flanking Index parallel the strangers before them.
"Bad aim! Damn it!" Red complained, with his broken nose still broken. He hid his revolver in his pocket and fire started to glow from the palm of his arms.
(You will pay for that, you piece of fuck.)
"When we get out of here, I'm gonna kick your ass, got that Red?" The girl beside him muttered, her eyes never leaving the two people who stood between her, and Index.
"Yes ma'am." Red muttered.
Touma, parallel Red, stood with Mikoto on his left, who faced Ma'am.
They did this to Index? These sons of bitches are gonna pay!
"Hand over Index." Ma'am demanded, with her sword at the ready.
"No thank you!" Mikoto grinned. She kept a spare coin just in case.
"Pretty please?" Red mocked. It's time to summon the beast.
"Nah. Go fuck yourself." Touma gave them the middle finger.
Mikoto blasted Ma'am with her railgun. Ma'am slashed the beam and charged for Mikoto.
Red summoned a giant fire monster and did the same to Touma, flaming hands at the ready.
Mikoto countered Ma'am's swords with her chainsaw-swords made of iron, but Ma'am simply got pass this by throwing her a left hook, followed by a knee to the gut. Mikoto fell to the ground, and Ma'am focused on Touma.
He cancelled Red's Monster, and was greeted with a burning left hook. Touma staggered, and jumped back, throwing an uppercut at Red's jaw, followed by a head butt to the nose. Red fell to the ground, out cold.
And then there were two.
"Please, give her up!" Ma'am demanded, tears leaking. "She's my friend! You need to understand the situation you're in!"
"I can't! And I won't!" No, Touma can't lose her now. He looked fondly at the girl behind Ma'am, before redirecting his focus towards the attacker. "You can't have her."
"You fuck! Salvare000! By the salvation of those who cannot be saved!" She took her sword off its cover.
"Mega Punch!" Touma screamed, his right arm on the ready.
She sliced, he punched, and the alley rained in blood.
THUD
"Wow… You're pretty strong."
Touma grinned .
"You left me no choice." They switched places again, Ma'am beside Red, and Touma covering Mikoto and Index.
Touma checked his right arm, sliced to pieces.
"Take care of her." Ma'am pleaded. "My name's Kanzaki."
Touma(?) grinned .
"Don't worry. I'll make it quick."
It grinned.
It walked closer, and Kanzaki refused to open her eyes. She can't seem to find death with dignity.
It stood before her, and flicked her on the head.
Kanzaki let out a breathe she didn't know she held.
He smiled back. "The name's Touma."
-Scene Break-
7:45 P.M.
(Why is Onee-sama fawning over a stupid boy when she has me?! Isn't my overly obsessive behavior more than enough?! I will not stand for this! What's so special about Touma anyway?! Stupid Touma, always leaving me behind.)
This was Kuroko's thought process as she made her way through district 7 towards Touma's room. She couldn't stand it anymore. Stand him. Annoying fuck just has to leave her behind.
She can't catch up…
And Mikoto… She needs to know. They left with Index earlier, without her to hang with. She sighed. Her judgment duties sometimes can't give her a break. She needed to know; needed to confront Mikoto with her emotions. If Mikoto rejects her, then so be it.
(Oh Touma, if life were as simple as how you view it to be.)
FUCK
"Touma!"
Kuroko vomited her remains as she did not so elegantly land on the nearest telephone poll.
Index was crying over Touma's unconscious body. He was bleeding.
What the hell happened?!
Index glared at the busty beauty. "You! You couldn't leave him alone?! You can't leave me alone?! WHY?!"
"Index, please!" The busty beauty was now crying. "please listen to me!"
"Oh god oh god oh god! I can't stop the bleeding!" Index's eyes began glowing green.
Kuroko has seen enough. Wait, is that Mikoto?! And a stranger lying near the busty beauty. A fight? A fight took place and she wasn't in it?!
DAMN! If only she were there, then surely the favor would've been on their side.
"Index please! The fight's over!"
DAMN! If only Touma waited for her. Then surely she could've fought by his side.
"You bet your ass it is! And I'll be handing you to Laura on a silver platter!"
DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! She can't catch up!
Index exploded in a sphere of light, and feathers started showing.
Kuroko thought too late, as one landed on her.
-Scene Break-
Who am I?
She felt pain. Not physical pain, but pain over who she was. A sense of loss, that's how she felt. She checked the sophisticated alarm clock by the desk on her left.
July 21, 9:45 A.M.
"Ah, I see you're awake."
An old man in a white coat smiled at her as he entered the room. He looked like a frog.
The girl held her covers to her chest as she frowned. "Who are you?"
Instead of answering, the frog faced doctor held up his hand as if to stop the stream of questions he knew would come. "Before that, I would like to ask you a question. Could you tell me the last thing that you remember?"
She frowned as her grip on her covers tightened just by a bit. "I…" she trailed off as she glanced at the covers. "Other than waking up a few moments ago, I remember nothing."
The frog faced doctor sighed as he nodded. "And can you tell me your name?"
FEAR
She felt fear over the loss of her identity. She can't remember.
The girl swallowed heavily, as if she was taking in something hard and bitter before shaking her head.
"No…" she croaked a whisper.
"I expected as much." The frog faced doctor held up some documents and handed them to her. "I'm sure this will make up for some of the confusion you feel."
The girl reluctantly took the papers and set them down on her lap. She lifted the first page and stared at it blankly.
Mikoto Misaka.
-Scene Break-
She knocked on the door twice.
It was all she did, but Index still felt like her heart would burst. She checked herself again.
(Tank top, check. White skinny jeans, check. Adorable cute glasses, check! He'll totally remember me! And my white sandals will so take him down for the count.)
"Yes?" The sound came from inside the room. There was only one person there.
She hesitated, but for only a moment.
Index opened the door jerkily like a robot. Instead of a hospital room with six patients to the room, it was a private room. The walls, floor, and ceiling were all pure white which threw off her sense of distance, making the room seem oddly large.
The boy sat up in a pure white bed. The window next to the bed was open, and the pure white curtain fluttered slightly.
He was alive.
She cried.
Without thinking for a response, Index rushed for him. She jumped at the bed and crawled to his chest, giving him a hug. "I'msosorryit'sallmyfaultdon'tleaveme…" She cried, her glasses falling due to the physical contact she gave with the boy.
Touma lost his right hand in the night of the fight. He couldn't remember what the fuck happened, but he can't just let this go.
Index assumed his memory was intact, and had nothing to worry about. She forgot he can only block the supernatural with his now decapitated right hand.
The frog face doctor replaced his hand with a new one, a cloned hand. Touma would've scarcely believed it. Yet he doesn't remember what happened…
That information is confidential. No one else knew about his altered right hand, or the lack of misfortune it gave. It was just normal.
Whoever this girl was, whoever she was, she needs him now. Not the Touma before July 21st, but the new one. He can never give what his old self had, and had to make-due with this girl's comfort.
"Calm down Index, I'm here now."
Index gasped and looked at him straight in the eyes. Tears strayed from her as she wept tears of joy, for the one who saved her life.
Touma cut the onions while Index steamed the beef. They were gonna try out this awesome new recipe! She was mixing the stew when he snaked his arms into her waist. They kissed. The Dinner was lovely. When he fed her.
She kept on weeping throughout the day, never leaving his side, as he never left hers.
She saw glimpses, of how he took down Red. What he said. Those barely expressed what he truly felt inside. He gave her the most loving gaze he could muster, and she reciprocated. When he saved her.
She asked him lots of questions just to make sure, and he got them all right! Of course he did! Silly Index, doubting the power of her Touma.
She wept, as the Ambulance took them in. He kept muttering her name. "Index…"When he loved her.
They talked. Surprisingly, Touma never made a mistake with all the guesses he's said so far, looks like he'll just have to bear with the burden of lying. It doesn't matter now.
They talked on and on about everything that happened.
Then, Touma didn't know what took over him, but he leaned into Index for a kiss.
When he loved her, and still does.
-Scene Break-
Kuroko took a breath of fresh air. Inhale and she did, and exhale, which she must. It's been a few weeks since BLACKOUT, and now she's slowly rebuilding her life. At least, that's what she hoped would happen.
She didn't know who she was. But she knows who she is; a girl who's willing to make a difference. "HAI!" She clenched her fists in mid air, determined to start the day through and through.
She's already packed her close and ported out of her room. She felt excited for her new life. She walked for the vending machine at the corner.
"Stupid prick took my money!" Hmm? She checked the commotion. There was a girl, wearing the same uniform as hers, kicking the vending machine. "This is how you do it, Kamijou-san!"
"Uh, yeah? No. That's called theft Misaka." Touma exhaled rather dramatically. Misaka kept on kicking the vending machine, and she felt like she…
She felt right just being there. She felt…
"Come on Kuroko! What are you looking at? You can't just reconnect by staring. That's called Stalking!"
GYAA!
She ported into Misaka, who smacked the vending machine that fell on Kamijou.
"OUCH!" Touma groaned, getting the end of the stick. Index giggled and Mikoto grinned. Kuroko felt, happy and laughed with. They stayed in the hospital for 2 additional days. During those times, Index reconnected them all.
-Scene Break-
It's been 2 days since that event, where Touma reconnected with Kuroko and Mikoto. Turns out they lost their memories as he did his.
Friends huh? He felt great.
He felt even better since the system scan took a secret reevaluation of his capabilities.
Phantasia. That's the name of his ability. Based on the word Phantasm, it seemed capable of materializing any object he wills, enabling the imaginary object to take a physical aspect.
As far as anyone else knew, his power could do anything. So far, he's been regulated to Level 3, a cool spot if he dare say so himself. Between his competent colleagues, he needs to catch up.
So far, Touma's learned two rules since he's been practicing his power.
Rule number 1) whatever appeared is capable of three actions, whether the ability to explode thrice or have three different effects, then disappears. He's made a bracelet full of 30 beads, each capable of protecting him for up to three times before disappearing.
Rule number 2) he can conjure objects on pre-existing matter. The matter then would disappear and be replaced by the phantasm of his choice. After performing its duties, Phantasia returns the missing matter. He hasn't tried that on energy just yet.
Touma walked back home, wondering what Index is up to. It'll probably be more sex. Sigh, he loves her so much. Touma has no idea if his former self felt the same way, because he just can't seem to get enough of her.
It was getting dark, so he better hurry.
"It's been a while, Kamijou Touma." He stopped moving and cringed. Hopefully, his guesses will serve him right.
The words "It's been a while" were essential taboo for Kamijou. He remembered information like the Japanese language or first grade mathematics but he had no memories. He remembered nothing, not even the trivial from when he bought a game to the important like how he scored on his end-of term exams. As he could not remember names and faces, hearing something like "It's been a while" caused him to only give his most sincere false smile.
It was to protect her happiness. He had decided he must never let others realize his amnesia. With such a conviction, he turned to look behind him.
His eyes widened and his mouth went dry as he saw the vision of beauty above him. Long, lustrous black hair that was tied in an exotic ponytail and onyx eyes stared down at him. She had a princess-like face and a very well proportioned body, which was accentuated by her shirt that was tied at the bottom, baring her midriff and her jeans in a torn corner. All in all, she was the most breathtakingly beautiful female that he had ever laid his eyes on. Damn.
But what he saw, beyond those looks, what caught his attention most, was the sword she held.
"Hello Kamijou-san. I must thank you for taking care of Index."
Who is she? He can't remember. Fuck. Wait, fuck? Why'd he just think such indignant words like it was natural? Or maybe it was?
"I see you've got your right hand back." She smirked. "And I apologize for the damage earlier, allow me to reintroduce myself. I am Kanzaki Kaori."
He knew then and there, that this was going to be trouble.
FUCK!