I own nothing, fair use, blah blah blah. Seriously, SEGA employees, if you're reading this, you probably don't have enough to do.
Episode 1: Robotnik Hates that Hedgehog
Listening Music: Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog- Robotnik's Theme
watch?v=aO_z2nO3ByM
"I CAN'T BELIEEEEVE THIS!"
Robotnik's raging echoed throughout the laboratory, the intensely loud noise shattering all the monitors in the room. He didn't notice or care.
"I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG! HE RUINS MY SCHEEEEEMES, HE ESCAPES MY TRAPPS, HE HELPS… NICE PEEEEOPLEE!" Robotnik continued throwing his temper tantrum. Coconuts walked in, holding a sealed letter addressed to Robotnik, and ducked under a flying wrench as he did so.
"Your Maliciousness! A letter came for you today from-" "GIVE ME THAT!" Robotnik snatched the envelope out of Coconuts' hands, tore it open, and began to read.
"Hey Ivo! I heard about this and I thought you might be interested, since you're so desperate to prove how badass you are. Your friend and Rival, Albert Wily."
"Wily? What kind of harebrained scheme is he planning this time?" Robotnik muttered to himself. A flyer was contained in the envelope, and he gazed at it intently.
CALLING ALL WARRIORS!
DO YOU WANT ULTIMATE POWER, RESPECT, AND ALL THE HOT ANIME WAIFUS YOU COULD EVER DREAM OF?
THEN TAKE THIS SCOUTER, AND DEFEAT THE OPPONENTS IT GUIDES YOU TO TO TAKE THEIR POSITIONS! THE WINNER WILL GET COMPLETE GLOBAL CONTROL!
MAY THE BEST CONTESTANT WIN!
"IS THIS TRUE?" Robotnik shouted. "Could I finally get the REEES-PEEEKT I DESERVE?!" Coconuts scratched his head. "I don't know, your evilness. It might be a trap-"
"I WILL GET ALL THE LAAAADIES!" Robotnik was running off into his lab, completely ignoring Coconuts' advice. Coconuts then facepalmed repeatedly.
"I AM A GENIOUS!" Robotnik came out of his lab, carrying a rather large raygun, with an odd looking vial in his other hand. It pulsed and glowed like a radioactive hamster.
Coconuts sighed. "What did you make this time, your Evilness?" He rolled his eyes in contempt, but Robotnik didn't see this, so he kept on bragging as usual.
"I have invented the SUPER STRENGTH POTION! When I drink it, it will give me the strength of a HUNDRED MEN! OBSERVE, COCONUTS!" Robotnik chugged the potion in one gulp, and started to glow. He started screaming like he was about to turn super saiyan but he couldn't because he's not a saiyan duh you dumpass.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I OUT TO GIVE MYSELF A PRRRROMOTION FOR THIS!" Robotnik ran out of the room yelling about how awesome he was, while leaving a massive trail of destruction in his wake.
Coconuts facepalmed again. "Why do I keep working for this madhat? There isn't even a good healthcare plan."
Robotnik stood on top of the hill, eyes jammed against his binoculars, scanning the horizon for his hated blue enemy. "Be vewy vewy careful." He muttered to himself. "I'm hunting hedgehogs!"
He had left a massive chili dog on the hill in front of him, and sure enough, that blue rat was coming along to take it!
"Wow-eee! Man, this is my lucky day!" Sonic reached down for the delectable meaty treat, and Robotnik fired his raygun at him, singing his quills by a millimeter. "What's goin' on here-"
"HEEEEEEEEDGEHOOOOOOG!" Robotnik stomped out, aiming his raygun at the annoyance that had plagued him all his life. "IT'S ABOUT TIME I TOOK BACK WHAT WAS MINE, AND BECAME THE UNDISPUTED RULER OF MOBIUS!"
Will Sonic defeat Robotnik like always?
What tricks does Robotnik have stashed away in his flab?
Will there ever be a point to all this?
Find out on the next exciting episode of ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION, "Robotnik's First Triumph!"