Just a short little one-shot I had posted up on my tumblr a while back. Just thought I'd move it over here.
Enjoy. Review if you wish, if not that's okay too.
Have a good day and prepare yourselves for the 5x13 episode because I still don't think we were mentally and physically stable enough for that previous episode...that kiss. Damn.
B.
A holiday is meant as a way to get away from our everyday lives. We get the chance to take a break from what is so common and expected in our life. We can get away for just a little while. Breakaway from what we know.
But as I sit here with the soft wind brushing leaves and tangling wisps of stray hair upon my head, the dark silent night is my only companion. It's nice to rest for just a moment -to watch the world go on around you while you take a much needed break.
But the sky is dark and the only light to guide me are the stars above my head and the moon gazing down upon me, watching, waiting for me to snap -to feel the frustration at the nothingness of the situation.
Many would find this position on their backs gazing upon the universe relaxing and beautiful. Sure it is beautiful but I never once required the guidance of the stars.
Not when I had you.
You'd smile and I knew that you'd always be all that I needed.
You were my stars and the moon. You had the universe in your eyes, shining down upon me to show me the way. Do you know where that lead me? The right way was always back to you. I never once doubted you, after all you were always the only one who could show me the way and show me what's right.
I was only a child when I first loved you. A blonde bubbly child skipping instead of walking, smiling at everything around her, laughing like an angel would, I suspect. That's who you were and who you still remain to be. I loved you.
I still do.
Loving as a child is easy. If you like someone, you could love them too. But when you're older, loving becomes difficult, you become guarded.
We hide our hearts behind barb wired fences standing one hundred feet tall, afraid to let anybody near our precious organ beating steadily in time.
But I was still a child inside, my heart so easily persuaded into loving somebody more deeply. But not just anybody, it chose you. Your bright eyes and kind smile, golden locks falling like currents down your back and over strong shoulders. Some things never change but sometimes I wished that they had. It would have been easier if it had. But if it changed I never would have known the feeling of love.
Honest and true love.
I was a stupid teenager trying to change the way I felt. Trying to stop my heart from beating too quickly when I saw you, heard your name, your voice or even just from the thought of you in my mind. My heart would race and I knew I'd never succeed. I had lost before the battle even began.
You captured my heart and my soul. I pretended that I had no clue of our acquired possessions. Hopelessly clueless. But you knew better.
Falling in love changes the game.
I wasn't meant to fall in love.
When I was younger I never understood the difference. Because isn't loving someone the same as falling in love? Apparently not.
Nobody warns you of the flip in your stomach when they're near or the pink hue which develops on your cheeks when you see them.
Nobody told me that when you're in love you would do anything for them.
They become your world and without them you're lost.
Love is scary but incredibly worth it.
And now as I sit and watch the soft clouds brush over the night lights I can only think of you. My universe. My everything. A holiday is when you get away but getting away for me means being away from you.
My heart aches without you near. But it won't be long until I'll see you again. It won't be long until the moon and the stars greet me as the universe.