-Magical girl Ilya-chan, Rin, Sakura, Saber and Rider has joined this chartroom-

Ilya: Hey everyone! ^^

Rin: …Hey

Sakura: Are you feeling alright, nee-san?

Saber: Yes, Rin, you do sound a little frustrated.

Rider: Probably because of the sexual tension between her and Archer.

Ilya: LOL! :P

Rin: !

Sakura: Rider!

Rider: Sorry master.

Saber: What is this sexual tension that you speak of?

Rin: …

Rider: …

Sakura: …

Ilya: LOL!

-Rider has left this chat room-

Sakura: Rider?

As the door to her room swung open, Saber looked up from her current new obsession- iPhone4- that Gilgamesh had given her along with his phone number in the contact list. After consulting Shirou, she had decided to give the device a chance and surprisingly, she had found it to be very addicting. Rin had showed her this app that allowed anyone with the same app to chat together from far away.

Technologies.

If only she had something like this during her reign. It would have made communication so much easier.

In front of her was Rider, staring at her with her usual stoic face.

Staring.

And staring.

Rider moved to stand directly in front of Saber in one long stride.

Saber readied her invisible sword, ready to block any possible attacks.

Sakura and Shirou had had an alliance but one could never be too careful.

Still, Rider didn't seem to be showing any signs of hostility so Saber allowed her to get a bit closer.

Rider bent down and whispered something in the King's ear before quickly exiting the house.

-Rider has joined the chat room-

Sakura: Rider, you're back. Where were you?

Rider: I went and explained some details to Saber. I hope you don't mind, master.

Sakura: That's okay but what did you explain?

Rin: Hey, Saber is a bit silent. Saber?

Saber: What is it, Rin?

Rin: Oh, it's nothing. Just checking if you're alright. What did Rider explain to you?

Saber: …that…is confidential I'm afraid.

Rider: Sexual tension and the sort.

Rin: …OH

Sakura: …OH

Saber: One of these days Rider, one of these days…

Ilya: LOLOL! I WANT PONIES. I WATCH ADVENTURE TIME WHILE I'M CUDDLING MY FAVOURITE TEDDY BEAR IN BERSERKER'S LAP.

Rin: …You are a bit hyper today.

Ilya: …I MAY OR MAY NO- oops, the capital lock is still on. Anyways, I may or may not have had too much sugar.

Sakura: …HA HA! Blackmail material. *Smirk*

Saber: Umm… Sakura?

Rin: Is it HER again?

Rider: Yes, it is. It seems that evil master has taken over. Please give me a moment.

Sakura: Urrk!

-Sakura has left the chat room-

Rin: …What have you done with Sakura?

Rin: Just a little something. Have no worries, I would never hurt my master.

Ilya: What about Shinji?

Rider: Who?

Ilya: You know, your 'master'? Sakura's 'brother'? The guy who rapes her on nightly basis? The useless guy?

Rin: Yes he is pretty much useless. He doesn't get anything ri- WHAT?!

Ilya: What what?

Rin: Rider. You and me. Weapons. Kill. Shinji. NOW.

Rider: I wholeheartedly agree. I needed a reason to kill him anyways. I have tried several methods including trying to run him over with a bike but he just doesn't die.

Rin: Well, that's soon going to change.

-Useless worm has joined the chat room-

Shinji: Hey! Who hacked into my account?!

Ilya: *cough*

Shinji: You little brat, I'll kill you!

-Berserker has joined the chat room-

Berserker: RARGGHH!

Shinji: …On second thoughts, maybe not.

Rin: Why hello, Shinji. It is MOST delightful to see you join our humble chat.

Rider: Indeed, MASTER.

Shinji: Oh, hey guys. I was wondering, has any of you seen Sakura? I really need her for something.

Rin: Oh? Something is it? Care to share this 'SOMETHING'?

Rider: Yes, and I was wondering, MASTER, have you been feeling a bit tense lately?

Shinji: Now that you've mentioned it, yes, yes I have.

Rider: Would you like Rin and me to give you a massage?

Shinji: That would be great. Now would be a good time.

-Shinji, Rin and Rider has left the Chat room-

Shinji excitedly ran to the door. It was about time that everyone recognised his awesomeness. He opened the door and greeted a murderous looking pair of women. They closed in on him, their respective weapons raised. Shinji made a frantic dash for his bedroom door. It was hopeless.

R.I.P

Shinji Matou, Rest in Pieces. He was a useless classmate, an annoying guy and a wimpy individual. No one particularly liked him if at all. He rests in the Matou mansion, his dead body left in his bedroom.

"NOOOOOOO! HELL-ARRGGHHH!"

-Rin and Rider has joined the chat room-

Saber: Welcome back.

Ilya: how did it go?

Rin: Wonderfully.

Rider: It was the best moment of my life.

Berserker: RARRGHH!

Rin: You're still here?

Berserker: RARRGHH!

Ilya: Oops, I almost forgot, it's nearly his feeding time. Come on Berserker; let's get you fed on the petty huma- I mean vegetable vitamins. Yes, that's what I was about to say.

Saber: I have raised my opinion of you Berserker, you have good tastes.

Rin: …I feel a headache. I'll pretend I didn't hear all that.

-Ilya and Berserker has left the chat room-

-Sakura has joined the chat room-

Sakura: Hello everyone. I thought I heard nii-san's scream just now.

Rin: It was probably just your imagination.

Sakura: Hmmm…okay! :)

-Shirou has joined the chat room-

Shirou: Saber! It's dinner time!

Saber: Shirou! I have waited for this moment. Let us go now for hunger is the enemy.

Shirou: …Yea…

-Shirou and Saber has left the chat room-

Rin: Well, I guess it's about time we all left too. I need my sleep.

-Rin has left the chat room-

Saber: Shall we go as well, Rider?

Rider: Yes, master.

-Sakura and Rider has left the chat room-

A/N: Please review and tell me whether you would like this to be continued. Hope you enjoyed this piece of crack.

-Sai, signing off-