Awexsome Cross 6/12ths
Chapter 01
God was new at the whole, being god thing. So was the new devil, and being that the new devil wasn't entirely evil like the old devil and god was not entirely good like the old god there was much conflict in both heaven and hell as angels and devils alike revolted against their masters and began to cause Chaos in the mortal realm.
Now while God and the Devil were all knowing and all powerful and could influence and change the mortal realm at a whim, they were still just two beings, so as omnipotent as they were they still had to delegate tasks to various angels and devils in the coruption and enligtenment of all the mortal realms in all of the multiverses.
Most of the multiverses are delegated by said angels and devils.
"This isn't good." God said. stroking his goatee, as he stared into a viewing pool in his heavenly kingdom.
The devil sat across from the small pool watching many different events unfold in many different realities that should not be happening. "What are you going to do?" He asked God.
God slumped back in his throne of gold and pie and sighed as he tore off a flaky piece of golden pie and ate it. He looked thoughtful as he stared at the pool as more and more worlds began to veer off their destined course due to the angel and demon strikes. "Well..." God started. "We can't give them what they want. I mean, we can't just change our personalities instantly."
"Right." The Devil said. "Nobody can just up and change instantly."
"and we've got like a bazillion different multiverses to fix because of it, so even if we did change we'd still have to fix it all and get every one ot them back on their destined path." God continued, still chewing his pie.
The Devil sighed and slumped forward watching even more dimensions get screwed with by angsty angels and demoralized demons. "I don't wanna fix it. it's too much work."
"Same here..."
God and The Devil sat a moment in silence contemplating how to get everything under control without killing all the revolting demons and angels, and without actually manually fixing it themselves.
Just then The Devil perked up. "Ranma." He said.
God looked up confused, cocking an eyebrow. "Huh? What are you talking about?"
"Ranma Saotome!" The Devil said super excited now.
Just then God god a little smile on his face. "The most adaptable human ever to be born..."
The Devil nodded and continued God's thoughts. "The one human with more potential than any in any generation."
"The one kid who has had more multiverses based solely on him." God continued.
"The one kid who we could totally manipulate to our every whim and get to clean up the angels and demons mess for us. And since he's mortal he could easily slip under the radar of any and all the angels and demons monitoring the different multiverses with only a tiny little bit of help from us!"
"BRILLIANT!" God said. "This was he gets it all worked out, we sit back and enjoy whatever the hell we feel like enjoying, and the angels and demons won't even notice that the multiverses that they're screwing up are already fixed."
God and The Devils expressions then turn a little sour. "But which Ranmas should we use?" The Devil questioned out loud more to himself than to God.
God looked thoughtful and then offered. "Does it even matter? It's Ranma, no matter which ones we take he'll still never stop until his goals are accomplished or he's dead. and if any of them die, oh well, we find a new one and replace him."
"So if we really want this to fly under the radar..." The Devil started.
"Six." God said. "Six Ranmas should be enough that they could overcome pretty much any obstacle in any universe and it's the minimum amount of one single person that can be populating a single dimension at any time, that's also taking into account any of the Ranmas in the dimensions they visit."
The devil nodded and leaned back in his LA-Z-Boy. "Whelp, glad that matter's done and dealt with. I'll leave you to brief the Ranmas once you pick them out. I'm betting that Ranma of all characters would not really follow the orders of the Devil for any reason."
"Cool." God said as he clapped a hand and stod up out of his golden pie chair. "I know just the Ranmas for the job."
Ranma sighed as she walked with hier daughter and friend out of the hidden mountain city and into the fresh night air. "I have a bad feeling about this." Ranma said. She then stopped and held out his hands to the others. "Wait... Listen." Shee said as she silenced himself and listened carefully to her surroundings. It was completely silent. No wildlife, no wind, no rustling foliage. Just pure silence. She couldn't even hear her own footsteps... or those of her companions.
Shee then got a sudden chill as hier companions continued on as if they hadn't even heard her. She turned around and spoke again. "Hey guys, there's no sound. can't you tell!" She then noticed that they were all looking around in confusion and talking to each other as though they could hear fine, but Ranma couldn't hear them. even with her pointy elven ears.
"Hey guys!" Ranma said, waving. Crimson, her adopted daughter and fully grown red dragon in human form started walking towards her. "Crimson!" She called. "What's going on!" The girl then passed right through Ranma and she was now seriously freaked out. She started spinning around frantically looking for some kind of clue as to what was going on. As she searched for any kind of sign that there was another sorceror nearby or something she noticed that it was getting brighter, like night was turning to day. But it kept going, getting brighter and brighter until Ranma was in was perfectly white void of nothingness, with nothing but herself as company.
"What the hell is going on?" Almost as soon as Ranma uttered those words a portal of some kind, swirling with orange and blue energy, opened up directly beneath her feet and she fell through. The portal closed a moment later.
Ranma groaned as Akane's voice droned on behind him as he held the gauze against some of the larger wounds on Kasumi's chest. The youngest Tendo wouldn't shut up about him being a pervert and a rapist and a murderer and all sort of other nonsense. Well save for the murderer part, but he only murdered evil creatures of the night, s othat wasn't so bad.
The sound of Akane's pestering faded into the background as the paramedics lifted the stretcher that Kasumi was on into the ambulance. Ranma lifted his foot so that he could step up into the ambulance and join them but his foot went right through the ambulance and back onto the ground, his hand holding the gauze also went right through Kasumi. Ranma turned around to see Akane looking around frantically for Ranma, with a somewhat frightened but still angry expression on her face.
He then noticed that there was no sound. At all. there were dozens of people around him, including Donny and a bawling Mr. and Mrs. Tendo, but he couldn't hear a thing. "Donny, what's going on?" Ranma asked as he tried to put a hand on his friend and weapon designers shoulder only to have it pass right throuh him. "What the hell?" Ranma mused to himself as he looked at his hand.
He then started touching everyone and everything he could see, but it was no use, his hands went right through everything, like he was a ghost or something.
"This is not good." Ranma muttered as everything went gradually brighter until he could see nothing but himself and an endless void of white. Before he could even begin to guess what was going on a portal of the same blue and orange colour opened up beneath him and he fell through.
Ranma looked around the back yard suspisciously keeping an eye out for anymore of these Vega clones as his little sister threw punch after punch at him trying to get a tag. Ranma continued to unconsciously block or dodge all her moves as he kept an eye out for the woman who had attacked him the night before.
Nami growled and then stopped her fighting and crossed her arms. "You're not even paying attention to me!" She yelled at him.
Ranma shook himself out of his revery and looked down at his sister. He sighed and then knelt down. "I'm sorry Nami, I've just been so distraced since last night. I'm just worried that Vega's going to come back and try to hurt us again."
Nami pouted. "Vega's a wimp! you could kick his or her ass anyday of the week! Now take me seriously brother!" She said as she playfully punched Ranma in the arm.
Ranma chuckled and didn't even bother getting out of the way of the week punch. "Okay pint size, we'll start from the top." Ranma then stop up and payed close attention to his little sister as she came at him full force. He even started to enjoy himself as the little girl gave him everything that she got just trying to land a single blow against the street fighter.
He was so occupied by the fun he was having training his little sister that he didn't even notice all of the sound around them go away. That is until Nami passed right through his body when she went for a jump kick to his chest.
Ranma spun around to see his little sister getting up off the ground and rubbing her sore bottom. He then noticed that he couldn't hear or smell anything. He noticed that Nami looked confused and seemed to not be able to see him.
Ranma then spun around again, looking at every corner of the Saotome Residence that was in his sight and unsheathed his adamantium claws hidden deep within his arms. "Who's out there? Who's doing this!" Ranma's sight seemed to be going as well as everything started to go white. but as the white engulfed everything Ranma could see he noticed that he could still se himself as he held up his clawed arm in front of him.
"What's going ooooooooooooon!" Ranma trailed off as he fell into a portal beneath him.
Ranma smiled as he flexed his now male muscles and tested his telepathic abilities on a neaqrby pedestrian. He walked up to the man. "Excuse me sir, is your name Masuka Kurumoto from Kyoto? Are you currently craving noodles?" He said to the man.
The man stopped flabbergasted and looked surprised. "Oh my god! How did you know that!" He said, totally freaked out by the dead on prediction. Ranma just smiled and strutted away. "Have a good day sir." He said as he left the man to his thoughts, which Ranma could now hear, and could help but chuckle at.
Marin, smiled as she tossed the vial of potion into a nearby trash can. "Glad to see you're feeling better." She said.
Ranma then lifted her up and into his arms with his telekinesis and spun her around. "I'm male again, I have all my powers back, and on top of that, it's my birthday."
Marina gawked and her eyes widened at that statement. "W...realy?" She asked. "Oh my god I totally didn't even know! I'm so sorry."
Ranma chuckled. "Just kidding. But the look on your face is priceless." He then started laughing as Marina lightly punched his arm in mock annoyance. She then yelped as she fell onto the ground ass first, right through Ranma's arms.
Ranma shocked at what happened knelt down beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Oh my god Marina are you okay?" Just then his hand passed right through the girl and he looked shocked as she stood up and looked around. he also then noticed that he couldn't hear anything. "What the heck?" Ranma then tryed his psychic powers on her, but he couldn't even hear her thoughts.
After a few moments the world around him faded into a pure white void and Ranma stood still completely lost as to what was going on around him. he then fell into the same blue orange portal that he fell into three other times prior, in three alternate realities.
"Zed It's taken to the rooftops, civilians should be safe." Agent R said as he spoke into the communicator watch and leapt across building after building in high speed persuit of an illegal alien, in all the literal meanings of the phrase. Just then another agent clad in black and sporting fiery red hair landed beside Ranma holding a large , long, and very menacing looking gun.
"Tell him we're going to need a memory wipe team for a five block radius around our current location!" She shouted out to him.
"Hear that Zed?" Agent R asked into the communicator.
"Loud and clear R." The old scruffy man back at MIB headquarters said.
"Alright I'm signing out then." R said, "We've got a trespasser to shoot." Agent R then leapt ahead gaining on the alien menace. He htne looked back to see that his partner was trailing behind. "Would you hurry your slow ass up! Drop that bulky piece and help me catch this guy! you're suposed to be the faster one of us Red!" He said as he did a sommersault over a chimney.
"There isn't anything you an say that'll make me drop this!" Agent Red retorted. "You hunt aliens your way! I'll hunt aliens mine, thank you very much."
Agent R then pounced on the aliens back as he caught up with it and used an aikido move to launch him into a wall. He then pulled out a smaller pistol sized gun from his jacket ready to take out the menace. "See!, didn't even need the big gun!" R called back, moments before a giant clawed arm shot out of the back of the alien, grabbed his face, and then slammed him twice into the roof that they were standing on.
Just then a loud noise errupted from behind R and the alien and the alien exploded in a messy smattering of various internal alien goos and fluids, covering R completely.
Agent R sat up slowly and wiped the goo out of his eyes. "You know Red." He started before spitting out some alien goop. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were overcompensating for something." Ranma then got a annoyed look on his face. "Oh wait. I do know better, and you ARE!" He said.
Agent Red then aimed the large pulse laser weapon of alien origin at R's face. "You don't REALLY want me to shoot you do you R?" She asked with a smirk. R sighed and then conceded as he stood up and wrung some fluids out of his ponytail.
"I concede Red. You win. I'm sorry." Red smiled smugly and leaned the gun against her shoulder. She then brought he communicator watch to her mouth and acivated the talk button. "Zed, you can rest easy, Lok'toc'po has been neutralized."
Red stood there awkwardly waiting for a moment before she tried again. "Zed are you there?" She then looked up to her partner and technically twin brother with a confused expression. "No answer. you think something down at headquarters went bad?"
R put up a hand to shush her. "I think it's not just headquarters Red. Listen."
Red did so and listened intently. "I don't hear anything."
"Anything?" R asked.
Red thought about it and listened carefully. Her eyes widened in realization. "Nothing!" She said. "I can't hear a thing at all! No traffic, people, nothing!"
"What the hell is going on here?" R asked more to himself than his partner.
Just then the world started to wash away in a haze of white before going completely white. "I got a bad feeling about this partner." Red said as she walked closer to R and stared out at the endless white void.
Just then the inevitable portal opened up beneath their feet and they both fell through.
TBC
Author's notes: {Now the fun can really begin. I've been dying to write this story for a long time. Now seemed a good a time as any (since I'm bored out of my mind, and I could easily polish off the first chapter without any realy hard planning) But now that I have a first chapter I'm definitely going to be getting my write on. It's been so long since I've written any fanfics other than SI, and since I can't write SI right now, and I wanted something fresh, I think this is as good a place to start as any. look forward to the rest of summer folks cause I will be a writing a storm... or at least a few chapters. either way it's more than I've done in the last few years.}
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