Randomness in a Box
By FeeptheNinja
Crossover, Kirby, Pokémon, Portal
Humor & Adventure
There is a team of the greatest adventurers known to man. Well, kind of... not really... okay, screw this. They outright suck harder than a hole in the International Space Station, but are extremely funny, somehow. Enter the cast!
PIKACHU: A Pikachu that is a complete idiot and VERY, VERY, annoying.
ORACION: A Darkrai that has some sense and is deathly afraid of the group's antics in general.
META KNIGHT: Do I even need say anything? He is the leader of the group, and a professional Pikachu stabber. You'll find out soon enough.
KIRBY: Is Kirby. Nuff' said.
Well, let's get on with it!
ACT 1
[on hill, wagon next to them, Pikachu, Kirby, Oracion in wagon, MK next to them.]
Meta Knight: No.
Pikachu: Why? Come on, we gotta go!
Meta Knight: I don't want to DIE today, thank you very much!
Pikachu: It's the only way down! I PROMISE not to run into hard stuff this time!
Meta Knight: Go eat a sandwich.
Kirby: [slaps MK]
Meta Knight: OW!
Pikachu: Get in. Even Oracion is going along with it!
Meta Knight: You tied him up in the back seat.
Pikachu: Minor detail.
Oracion: MMPPH! MMPH MMMPPH MEMPPH MMMPH!
Meta Knight: I think he said, "Help! I'm trapped in a wagon with a madman!"
Pikachu: Shaddup! Get in!
Meta Knight: You'll never take me alive!
3 ½ HOURS LATER
Pikachu: AND MOUNTAIN BEAVERS LIVE IN YOUR CLOSET!
Meta Knight: What the feep?
FeeptheNinja: HEY! I came up with that!
Everybody: AAAAA! IT'S THE AUTHOR!
Meta Knight: Okay, okay, I'll get in!
FeeptheNinja: Thank you. FEEEEEP! [randomly disappears wearing glasses and mustache]
Everybody: 0.o
ACT 2
[everybody is at bottom of hill, looking battered and bruised.]
Everybody: *groan*
Meta Knight: Pikachu?
Pikachu: Yes?
Meta Knight: My name is Meta Knight. You almost killed me again. Prepare to die.
Pikachu: Aw nuts! [runs off, tail between legs]
Meta Knight: GET BACK HERE, YOU ELECTRIC RAT! [runs after]
Kirby: [while untying Oracion] Poyo, poyo poy poyo poy!
Oracion: Tell me about it.
Meta Knight: [somewhere off-screen] RAWR!
Pikachu: HEELLPP! I AM BEING ATTACKED BY A PUFFBALL WITH AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM! HEY! THAT HU-OWWW!
Oracion, Kirby: *sweatdrop*
Oracion: Should we set up camp…?
Kirby: Poyo.
Oracion: 'Kay. Waitaminute.
Kirby: Poyo?
Oracion: Is all you ever say "Poyo"?
Kirby: Poyo.
Oracion: Wow. Poyish could be more useful than… than…
Kirby: Poyo?
Meta Knight: [off-screen] YAAHHH! [stabbing sound]
Pikachu: [also off-screen] OWWWW! HEEELLLPPP! NEED…Oran…berry…oww.
Oracion: Than sacred-electric-sword-proof armor for us!
Kirby: Poyo…?
Oracion: Oh, right. COMING, PIKACHU! I GOT AN ORAN BERRY RIGHT HERE!
Kirby: 0.o Poyo.
ACT 3
[all at campsite around campfire, MK glaring daggers at Pikachu]
Meta Knight: Wimp.
Pikachu: YOU STABBED ME IN THE STOMACH! TWICE!
Meta Knight: So? You didn't need to do… whatever… you… did…
Oracion: It's called a 'Pokémon Intimate Stress Signal', or PIS-
Meta Knight, Pikachu: *snickering*
Oracion: That's what it's called!
Meta Knight, Pikachu: *in outright hysterics*
Oracion: Stupid acronym. *IDEA* Hey, Kirby, do you want to hear my explan-
Kirby: *silently grinning*
Oracion: Never mind.
2 ½ HOURS LATER…
[everyone toasting marshmallows, Oracion reading newspaper.]
Oracion: Hey, here's a deal on a house… four bedrooms… three bathrooms… a wide screen TV...
Meta Knight: Sounds good. Wait, why are you looking at houses?
Oracion: I figured we'd need a base, you know, somewhere to operate off of.
Meta Knight: What about Wigglytuff Gui-
Pikachu: *screams* DON'T MENTION THE NAME OR YOU SHALL VIOLENTLY DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH OF JUSTIN BEIBER AND BARNEYNESS!
Oracion: I was thinking somewhere that doesn't steal from people.
Pikachu: #$%*! YOU CHATOT! DIE IN A HOLE!
Meta Knight: Uhhhh…
Oracion: He was traumatized.
Meta Knight: *sweatdrop*
Oracion: Who posted this house sale? 'FeeptheNinja'?
Meta Knight: …0.o
ACT 4
[everybody is settled into the house. Pikachu bursts in through the door, yelling, waving three cases]
Pikachu: OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!
Meta Knight: QUIT OMG-ING!
Pikachu: No. OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!
Meta Knight: WHAT IS IT?
Pikachu: I got Portal 2!
Meta Knight: 0.0
Pikachu: What?
Meta Knight: YOU GOT PORTAL 2? I LOVE PORTAL!
Pikachu: REALLY? ME TOO! I GOT 3 COPIES! ONE FOR X-BOX 360 AND TWO FOR PC!
Meta Knight: EPIC!
Oracion: WHAT ARE YOU YELLING ABOUT?
Meta Knight, Pikachu: PORTAL 2!
Pikachu: Wanna play with me? It's co-op.
Meta Knight: Sure! [sits in front of TV]
Pikachu: This is gonna be uber-epic.
Meta Knight: Heck yeah!
[4:00 am]
?: [in British accent] Well, maybe if you plug me in- right there- here, I'll turn on the lights- look for a switch labeled 'escape pod'…
Oracion: [Thinking] What the feep? There's no one British living here…!
Oracion: [runs-er, floats out] WHAT IS IT? WHO'S HERE?
[MK and Pikachu sitting in front of TV, piles of soda cans and candy around them, STILL playing Portal 2]
Pikachu: Oh, hi, Oracion. Why are you up this early- OH GOD IT'S GLaDOS! SHE'S BACK! EPIC!
Oracion: YOU TWO ARE STILL PLAYING PORTAL 2?
Meta Knight: Yep. [pops another soda]
Oracion: You're drinking Mountain Dew? And eating random candy? AT 4 IN THE MORNING?
Meta Knight, Pikachu: Yes.
Oracion: *sigh* Just turn it down. I am going back to bed. You two are scaring me.
Pikachu: Okay! See ya! [turns to Meta Knight] Hey, pass me a Mountain Dew, will ya?
Meta Knight: Sure. [grabs and passes a Mountain Dew to Pikachu]