The Cullens Meet the Angel of Death
There was a knock at the door. I heard Jasper get it. I heard Jasper scream. Of course, Emmett goes down stairs to laugh at him, and then Emmett starts screaming. Eventually, everybody is screaming and running around in circles. The Cullen house looks like an ant hill that was just stepped on, except the house isn't crushed and only one person is still. That's me. I'm eating a wonderful ham sandwich and nothing will phase me.
The black-cloaked figure at door, surrounded by smoke, came up to face me. He had a blade in his hand. He pointed a long, thin finger at me. "Bella Swan, I am here for your soul." Of course, Edward heard it.
"Hi, Andrew," I said looking at him, still eating my sandwich. Every one paused in there tracks. Andrew jerked his cloak off his head. He looked like a normal dude, as usual.
"But, that's no fun," he said.
"Well, I have no time today. Just tell me what I have to avid and be on your way."
"EVERY ONE HAS TIME TO DIE!" he said.
"I don't. Alice and I have a wedding to plan. Come back in two months, about three days before my birthday. I'll have time then." Every one was starring blankly at me.
"Ooo, fun." The guys mouths dropped ten feet. "Can I help?"
"Why would I let the angel of death help me plan my wedding?"
"Because we have been, like, close personal friends since, like, ever."
"You have been close personal friends with the angel of death?" Edward asked, "When was I informed of this?"
"Edward, he's around a lot. I surprised you haven't noticed him once in the past two years. Considering, I have almost died…" I started counting on my fingers. I reached ten. "Andrew, how many times have I almost died in the past two years?"
He took out a clip board. "The last time was your 200th." If Edward could have gotten whiter, he would have.
"Can I see that?" Edward said putting his hand out. Andrew handed him the clipboard. Alice grabbed it out of his hand and ran upstairs with it.
"MINE!"
"That was weird," I said. I knew why she did it. She saw that Edward would feel really guilty if he read it. I almost died every morning I woke up when he wasn't there during those six months of horror. Thank you, Alice. "So," I said turning to Andrew, "how am I going to die today?"
"Oh, I'm off duty right now. I need some help."
"Really? What can I do?"
"I'm having guy trouble." HAHAHAHAHA!! You should have seen Emmett and Jasper's face!
"OH MY CARLISLE!!" Emmett screamed.
"Emmett, Jasper," Edward said pinching the bridge of his nose and smiling at the same time, "You better get out of here."
"Why?"
"You really don't want to know."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" They ran out of the house without opening the door. There was a big hole in the wall. Edward quietly, but quickly, walked away.
"So, what do you do if your man gets on your nerves?" Andrew asked.
Alice came running down the stairs, "I foresee what Jasper does, and punish him before and after he does something stupid."
"I beat Emmett to a pulp. It's fun and it makes me feel better," Rosalie stated.
"I almost die, but of course you knew that."
"Yeah.'
"Sooooooooooooooo, you like shopping?" Alice said.
He screeched. Loudly. "Like, OMG, I LOVE shopping!"
"Ok, lets go." So, Alice, Rosalie and Death skipped to the mall. Edward was behind me as soon as they left.
"You know weird people."
"Yes, I do."