A/N: This is the first of five fics inspired by cough the neighbor's sprinklers in their pasture. How the heck does THAT inspire fics? Don't ask. XD The next four will be for different fandoms. Hopefully inspiration will hold and I'll finish them within a week. If not...I suck. Seriously. Anyway. To those readers patiently (or not) awaiting an update on When We Dream: I have not forgotten you! I'm stuck again, though. I hate my muse.

The hero dodged a strike from the beast's massive jaws. With his sword gripped tightly in both hands, he whirled away, planting his feet firmly in the dusty soil. The snake raised its head, towering above the man as it prepared to strike again. The beast was easily thirty feet long and as big around as the trunk of an ancient tree. Thick, slimy scales that effortlessly parried any blow protected its underside. The serpent's only apparent weakness was its eyes. Only a warrior with great skill could defeat a monster as powerful as this one.

Sweat glistened on the hero's brow. This was proving harder than he thought. Perhaps he should have agreed to let his companion join him in this battle. As soon as the thought entered his mind, he pushed it away. No, I can survive this on my own.

A plan began to form in his mind. As the monster snake reared back, opening its mouth to strike, the hero dashed forward. In a blur of movement, he shot upwards and--

The hero froze, suspended halfway between the ground and the snake.

"I do not believe that is a legal move, ColonelMitchell."

Cam sputtered, glaring at the Jaffa seated on the couch beside him. "Whoa, big guy. You just ruined my kill."

"Indeed."

"Wha--Teal'c!"

"That was an illegal move."

"No it wasn't," Cam insisted.

"Indeed it was, ColonelMitchell. Your class does not possess such a skill." Teal'c raised a brow and turned his gaze back to the paused image on the TV screen. "I believe DoctorLee has made an error in the coding of this game."

"Come on, Teal'c. It was legal, trust me."

"It was not."

Cam huffed, dropping his head back against the cushion. Realization slowly dawned, and he glanced at Teal'c. "This is all because I wouldn't let you come along, isn't it?"

Teal'c arched an eyebrow, his lips curving in a trademark Teal'c smile. "Indeed."