Oi there! I would really like to thank J. K. Rowling for blessing us all with these amazing books. These characters belong to her… I just burrowed them. ^^
Enjoy!
Five Times Remus and Sirius Kissed While They Were Not together…
And One Time When They Were.
Rain
With a quiet sigh, Remus stared at the pouring rain outside the window. He was currently sitting in the Gryffindor common room alone. James had Quidditch practice (poor guy), Peter was some place inside (probably in the kitchens) and Sirius… Well, Remus was actually not sure. He could find the map and search for him on that, but he didn't really want to go upstairs. And he didn't really want to be nosey. He could always ask when he came back. Remus was nearly sure though, wherever he was, there would be a girl too. It made him a bit jealous… Not so long ago Remus realized that he liked his best friend, in a more than friendly way. He couldn't get his handsome lad out of his head, and he could see those stormy gray eyes everywhere. At first he was confused, Merlin, who wouldn't be just a bit confused when they realize that they are in love with their best friend? Remus had hoped that it was just a crush, but everytime Sirius looked at him, he could feel his stomach flutter. It scared him, mostly because he knew that his friend would never look at him in the same way.
Why would he? What is there to love? He is a bloody werewolf once a month, and his whole body is covered in scars. He is thin, without the tiniest sign of muscles. He was way too skinny, and not very tall. Sirius was at least five inches taller than him. And with the lack of showing any kind of muscles, it made him look very tiny compared to his friend. He couldn't see what was attractive about him, and was ready to believe that all the girl that had ever looked his way twice, suffered from a serious lack of brain cells.
It wasn't that he didn't appreciate the affection those girls showed, it was just, that he felt weird about it (But wasn't that obvious since he fancied Sirius?). He knew that love war supposed to feel normal, but somehow Remus didn't feel normal.. Lord, he fancied his best friend, who by the way was a bloke. For some reason it wasn't being a werewolf, so he became gay too. That was just brilliant. The bookworm, gay guy, scarred werewolf, Remus Lupin who was in love with his best friend, Sirius Black.
As he was sitting there, lost in thought, someone walked up behind him, and placed a hand on his shoulder. Remus jumped up in surprise, and he heard a well-known laugh. "Aww, Moons, lost in thought? I bet you were thinking about me."
"Sirius," Remus greeted his friend, feeling a little bit awkward about having done exactly what his friend had said.. He blushed by his words, and looked down. Sirius sat down in an armchair next to Remus', who closed his Charms book. "What have you been doing?"
"Oh, mother dear, I've been wandering around the castle, trying to find you. I thought you were at the library," Sirius answered, and shook his head.
"Obviously not," Remus said, and Sirius rolled his eyes. "Why were you looking for me anyway?"
"Don't be a cheeky minx," Sirius laughed and tilted his head to one side(which Remus thought was absolutely adorable). "I just wondered if you wanted to go outside with me?"
"If you haven't noticed, it's raining outside, quite a lot actually." Remus said and raised an eyebrow.
"I like the rain. It's cozy. At then it's a spring storm. Those storms aren't cold and nasty ad the other ones." Sirius said. He looked away, and Remus was sure that he saw his friend blush a bit. Remus kept looking at his friend, he was sure he had just seen… nah, it was probably nothing.
"Pads, I don't know…" Remus sighed, and kept his eyes on his friend.
"Please?" Sirius turned his face back to Remus, and looked at him with pleading eyes. Remus bit his lip, to keep himself from gasping at the sight. Remus didn't trust his voice, so he nodded. Sirius face broke into a smile. "Yay!"
Remus smiled back, and stood up. Sirius did the same, and started to walk over to the exit of the common room. They got out, and just walked in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence, it was nice. Both of them were comfortable with it. They made it to the door, and Sirius opened it with eagerness. Remus laughed. "Relax."
"But it's raining, Rem!" Sirius said, and grabbed Remus hand. He pulled him outside. They walked hand in hand down towards the lake. It was a place they had started to go lately – only them. Remus loved the fact that they could get some time alone, but the thought that it didn't mean anything to Sirius, really bugged him.
When they got to the lake, were they both soaking wet. Sirius hair was sticking to his face, the soft curl turning straight.
"This is nice," Sirius said, and stepped closer to Remus. Remus locked eyes with Sirius, and got quite confused by the look in his best friend's eyes. Was that lust? Or was Remus just tired, and had started to imagine things? Sirius stared intensely at Remus, and then took a deep breath. "You know, I've always found your eyes fascinating.. They are so special. Amber with those tiny specks of chocolate and caramel. They show how much pain and suffering you've been through. They are so beautiful when they are filled with happiness. I feel like they can read me like an open book. I see them looking at me, with concern when I'm sad. Anger when you're angry with me, and sometimes I imagine that I see love."
"That isn't your imagination." Remus breathed out between ragged breaths. As he had spoken, Sirius had stepped a few steps closer to him, and was only a couple of inches away.
"I'm glad," he said, and leant forward to place sweet kiss on Remus' wet lips. The kiss was wet, but not sloppy at all. It was slow and pure, and it had everything a first kiss should have. One of Remus' hands found its way to Sirius face, and brushed a bit of the wet hair away from his cheek. The other one just squeezed the hand it was already holding.
Drunk
It had been a month. Neither boy had built up enough courage to ask about the kiss, nor had anything changed between them. The only difference was the secret glances towards each other, where they both ended up blushing. They weren't denying what had happened, but they both seemed to be scared of a confrontation about it.
Remus was happy that something had happened. He was sure that Sirius felt the same as himself. It was Sirius that had made a move on him, not the other way around. And Remus couldn't get that thought out of his head. But the question was; would Sirius want to make this 'more' than a kiss? Or would he even want to do it again?
Remus and Sirius were sitting beside each other, on a bench in front of the Quidditch field. Both of their eyes were locked on James. He was so close to catching the Snitch and making Gryffindor winner of the Quidditch cup for the fourth year in a row. His finger closed around the little ball, and every single Gryffindor went mad. Even Lily were cheering for the team. There were loud screams of pure joy. People were clapping and cheering. Most of the older students because of the party they would later attend, and the first, second and third years, because they were just happy. Remus looked at Sirius, and caught him staring. They both blushed a bit. They usually just looked away, but not this time. Sirius smiled widely.
"Ready to get wasted tonight, Moony?" He asked with a smirk on his pretty face. Remus laughed, and smacked his shoulder lightly. There was laughter in Sirius eyes, and Remus shook his head.
"I think you're the one to get most wasted, Pads." Remus said, and tilted his head a little bit to one side. Sirius looked like he was offended, but Remus knew it was just for fun. "Oh, just stop it, Padfoot!"
Sirius laughed and put his arm around Remus shoulder. They started walking back towards the castle, Sirius still with his arm around Remus. Peter followed them, and seemed to be a bit outside the group consisting of the three boys, but neither Sirius or Remus seemed to notice anything. They were chatting lightly about the game, even though it wasn't something that Remus thought was interesting. But still, he was happy that Gryffindor had won the cup.
"Did you see the way Marlene shifted when Lestrange came after the ball?" Sirius asked, and practically jumped with excitement.
"Easy there!" Remus yelled at his friend. He was so hard to walk with when he was like that. "I did see that, I was right next to you all the time. Remember you asked me what I thought of it when it happened?"
"Oh yeah, I do. I remember you said 'what?' and then turned back to your book. It wasn't until I told you that James was close to the snitch that you finally looked at the game. So I think I have the right to say it again." Sirius said with that usual 'I'm right' and teasing smirk on his face.
"You're such a dog," Remus said and smiled at his friend.
"I know! An awfully cute one, right?" Sirius whispered into Remus' ear. Remus blushed, and Sirius laughed. They reached the castle, and started to walk the long way up the stairs. Sirius let go of Remus, and they walked in silence Peter walked up beside them.
"Do you know when-" he started, but was cut off by a snappy Sirius.
"James is going to take a shower, try and get a hold of Lily and then come up to us… It's just like he always does." Sirius said, and stared at Peter, with an annoyed look in his eyes. Remus patted his shoulder, and looked at him with a warning. Sirius ducked his head a bit, and let Remus lead him to the common room. Remus knew that his friend was starting to get a little bit fed up with Peter's constant whining over James.
The rest of the way they were silent. Remus removed his hand, when they came to the portrait of The Fat Lady.
"Orchid," Remus said to the portrait, and she let them inside. They walked in, and directly up to their dorm room. Sirius plopped down on his bed, and Remus went for the bathroom. When he came out again, he saw that James had joined them.
"Moony. We won!" James exclaimed.
"I couldn't help but notice that, Prongs."
"Ready for the party?" Sirius asked and looked at him from his bed.
"Yeah," Remus answered, and untied his tie. He carefully put it down, with his robe and his sweater, so he only was wearing the white button-down and some tight, black jeans.. He untied the first two buttons on his shirt, and turned to look at his friends. They looked ready too. He found Sirius extremely hot, in his jeans, and leather jacket. Remus leant down to tie his black converse shoes, and ran a hand through his hair. They walked downstairs.
Three hours later, James was making out with Lily in a corner of the common room. Peter had gone to bed. Sirius was drinking shots of firewhiskey (Remus was sure, that he was though two whole bottles already), and Remus was sitting next to him, with a butterbeer. They both were pretty drunk, Some girl came up beside Remus, and took his hand. Remus understood what she wanted to and walked out to dance with her. Not only five minutes later, he found Sirius beside him.
"Hey random girl, mind if I burrow Remus for a moment? No? Come here you annoying…" Sirius voice trailed off, and he practically carried Remus out of the common room. They walked down an empty corridor, when Sirius suddenly stopped.
"What the-" before Remus could say anything, Sirius lips were harshly moving against his own. Remus was shocked, but it didn't take him long to respond to him. Sirius pressed him up against the nearest wall, while nibbling lightly at Remus lower lip. Remus moaned, and Sirius slipped his tongue into Remus mouth. Remus had his hand tangled in Sirius hair, and Sirius was lightly tugging at Remus' shirt collar.
"So… hot." Sirius moaned against Remus lips. As they ran out of breath, their kisses got less intense, and they finally pulled apart, both boys with swollen lips, messed up hair and gasping for air.
"Remus..." Sirius said between breaths.
"What?" Remus answered just as breathless as his friend.
"That was… amazing." Sirius said, and smirked at Remus.
"I totally agree."
Night.
Remus turned in his bed. He couldn't sleep. One certain bloke with black hair and stormy gray eyes, kept sneaking into his thoughts, keeping him from falling asleep. He was a little bit sad – no wait, not a little bit. He was really, really sad. It was the last night of the school year, which meant that he, along with the other students at Hogwarts had to catch the Hogwarts Express precisely eleven o'clock the next day. In eleven hours, I'm leaving, he thought to himself, and tomorrow afternoon, I'm leaving my friends… and Sirius. I will miss him-uhm… them so much. He sighed in silence, not wanting to wake the rest of the boys. He stared at the bed right across from his own, where Sirius was supposed to be asleep. The curtains weren't drawn, so he could see the dark form of Sirius. It didn't sound like he was sleeping, but on the other hand, Sirius wasn't loud when he slept. He sometimes snored lightly, but only when he had a cold or somehow was sick.
He thought of that night. That night they had been snogging in a corridor, because they both had gotten way to drunk not to. None of them had brought it up, and it almost felt like Sirius didn't remember. It hurt a bit, but Remus didn't blame him. Or at least he told himself not to blame his friend for getting drunk, and snog him like he was something very delicious he wanted to eat.
Remus shifted, and couldn't help but groan a little. He tried to do it silently. Someone stood up and walked towards his bed. He couldn't hear what direction the person came from. He felt that same someone lie down on his bed, and curl up to him from behind. Remus slowly turned around, and found the boy he had been thinking about.
"Sirius," he whispered, and the boy laughed silently. They could hear the snores and heavy breathing from the other boys, they were luckily both sleeping tightly.
"Hey, Remmy… Having trouble sleeping?" Sirius whispered, while running a hand through Remus hair. His fingers were playing with the ends, and Remus smiled.
"Yeah, what about you?" he asked.
"Yes," Sirius answered, and ran his hand down Remus' neck, and rests his hand on his shoulder. "Remus?"
"Yes?" Remus looked at Sirius, and was sure that his eyes were sparkling.
"Want to go for a walk? Up to the Astronomy Tower, or whatever?" Sirius asked him, with a pleading look in his gray eyes.
"You always asks me to go somewhere…" Remus said and touched his friend's soft and curly hair.
"I'm bored," Sirius whispered. and pulled Remus a bit closer. "And I really want to be alone with you one last time."
"Okay," Remus whispered back. They both got up, and walked out of the room. The common room was empty, and the only sounds were the light summer rain against the windows, and the fire from the fireplace. They walked out of the common room.
"You two. Shouldn't you be sleeping?" The Fat Lady yelled after them, probably waking the whole school. They both ignored her, and walked towards the Astronomy Tower. When they had walked a bit, Sirius grabbed Remus hand, and Remus immediately entangled their fingers. They looked at each other for a short moment, both boys smiling. They walked in a comfortable silence for some time before Remus started talking.
"So, there's something we need to talk about." Remus said, and blushed. Sirius looked at him.
"I guess I know what it is…" Sirius said, and smiled. Remus sighed with ease. It helped him a lot to know that Sirius wouldn't reject the conversation. Sirius looked deeply into Remus eyes. "Those kisses-"
"Wait, you remember them both?"
"Of course I do. I was pretty wasted, but still. That was really hot," Sirius said, and grinned. Remus got a glimpse of his perfect white teeth.
"Yeah, it was." Remus said. He ran his thumb over the back of Sirius hand, and then felt Sirius shiver. Remus smirked. "But, that wasn't what I meant."
"I know, Remus."
"Did they mean anything?" Remus asked. He was nervous, what if Sirius said no?
"Of course it meant something! That was one of the best thing I've ever done!" Sirius said,, and looked at Remus with a serious look in his gray eyes. "Did it mean anything to you?"
Remus could see the little hint of fright in Sirius eyes. He probably thought the same as himself, when he didn't know the answer. "It meant so much to me."
"Good. I was scared that you wouldn't feel the same."
They walked in silence, still hand in hand. They had reached to staircase up to the tower, and they started to go up. They reached the top, and got outside in the fresh air. Sirius sighed when a cool summerbreeze hit his face, and lifted his hair up. It did the same to Remus, and he enjoyed the cool air against his face. They were sheltered from the rain, but the air could still reach them, but they didn't mind. They walked towards the edge. Remus decided to break the silence.
"Why couldn't you sleep?"
Sirius looked down, and blushed. "Uhm, I don't want to go home for summerbreak. I know I'm going to spend it with the Potter's, but I can't help but want to…. Spend it with you:"
Remus heart skipped a beat.
"Why couldn't you?" Sirius asked and looked at him through long, black eyelashes. Remus felt flustered.
"Pretty much same reason," Remus said, and looked at Sirius. Sirius stopped and they looked at each other. The hand that wasn't holding Sirius' reached up and lightly cupped his cheek. Remus leaned forward and kissed Sirius softly. Sirius quickly responded by pulling him closer by the waist.
They spend most of the night staring at each other.
Train.
Remus waved at his parents as the cap started driving away, towards London. His summer on the English Countryside had been amazing, but awfully long too. His thoughts had been on Sirius the whole time. He had done something else too. He had told his parents that he was gay. Something he had been fearing since fifth year when he found out. Bur now, when he was nearly an adult, he decided it was time. They hadn't been disapproving as he had expected. His father had been shocked, but with a quick look from Mrs. Lupin, he forgot about it, and accepted him without any further problems.
The cap stopped when they arrived at Kings Cross starion, and Remus paid the driver, He got outside, and hurried to platform Nine an Three Quarters. He ran through the wall, and found that there was fifteen minutes until the train arrived. Remus carried his trunk into an empty compartment, and got a book out of his trunk. He had only read a few pages when the compartment doors opened.
"Moony!" Sirius said and literally sprang into Remus' lap, and clasped his arms around him. Remus was too surprised and shocked to do anything. The only reaction from him was his cheeks that immediately flushed into a dark red color.
"Hey Padfoot," he finally whispered, and pulled his friend closer. The door suddenly opened. Remus was to shocked and his eyes were filled with both shock and fear, Sirius saw that, and send him a comforting smile.
"… And she kept going closer like this, and she just sat there in the exact same position as you right now, and I was just so confused and – oh hey James." Sirius acted it out, and stood up from where he had been sitting on Remus, instead he plopped down on the seat next to him. "I just showed Remus, how a girl attacked me earlier."
"That happens to you a lot…" James said and smirked.
"What do you mean prongs?" Sirius asked. He didn't want to make Remus jealous, and it hadn't been that much lately. He had been good at pushing the annoying people off him, when they came to close.
"Oh, I'm just saying that you have been showing Moony how the girls attack you quite a lot these past few months." James made sure to make it clear what he was talking about. Both Remus and Sirius blushed. "Now I will go find Lily and Peter. You have thirty minutes, then we will come back."
James looked at them both to make sure they had understood his message. James knew about his best friends being madly in love with each other. He could se the way they looked at each other. The way that Remus always looked at Sirius a few more seconds than necessary to make sure he wasn't hiding anything. And the caring way Sirius always looked at Remus, when he was sad. Another look they kept sending each other was pure love, and James knew it would only be a matter of time before they finally got together. And both boys knew that James understood them. That somehow he had found out about them.
"Thank you," Remus said, and James smiled at them both. He closed the compartment door completely, and Sirius went over to lock it. Remus took a deep breath. "He knows."
"Yeah, I figured so too," Sirius said, while sitting down next to Remus again. They looked at each other amber eyes looking into stormy gray ones. The train took off and they both looked away. Sirius' finger started to make patterns on the back of Remus' hand, it made him feel calm. A feeling he wasn't quite used to these days. Especially with the war raging on.
"Did you have a nice summer?" Remus asked to break the silence.
"Yeah, it was kinda boring without you though," Sirius said, and made Remus smile. "James made me plaay Quidditch all summer.. ou know how he is. What about you?"
"Nothing special really. My parents brought me to Canada. Apparently they have discovered a potion that can make werewolves non-dangerous when it's full moon…" Remus stopped talking. He hated to be a werewolf. To be a monster once a month, and to risk his friends lives, by letting them stay with him. He felt a hand grab his chin, and his face lightly being turned towards Sirius.
"Speaking of werewolves. How was the full moon?" Sirius asked him, sounding quite concerned. Remus ducked his head.
"It wasn't bad; I just got a few new scars to the collection…" Remus whispered. Sirius knew that Remus was very self-conscious about his scars. Sirius looked at his mate, and then patted his shoulder.
"Do you want to show me?" Sirius asked, not speaking as loud as he normally would. Remus nodded and turned his body to face him. He slowly opened the two first buttons of his shirt, and tugged the collar away from his neck. Sirius lifted some of the brown hair away from Remus's ear. There was a pink scar running from the back of his ear and down to his collarbone. Sirius gasped and traced it with his fingers. "Remus… what happened?"
"My dad had to stun me, and I landed in a green house. I have one similar to this one my hip." Remus said and looked down, making his hair fall back in place.
Sirius grabbed his face again, only this time it was with both of his hands. He kissed Remus hard on the mouth. Tender and passionate, with so much love that Sirius nearly thought it was to sappy. But he didn't care, because he truly loved Remus and Remus needed to know that.
Sorry
They had started going by the term 'boyfriends¨, a few months into their seventh year at Hogwarts. By then most people knew already, so they decided to make it official. They both made it through graduation, Remus got top grades in all of his classes and Sirius only had three where they weren't as high as they could be. Shortly after the graduation, they bought a flat in central London, a few streets down from the Leaky Cauldron. Lily and James were happily married and had a son who had just turned one, his name was Harry. Sirius got the honor of being both best man and godfather, Remus had never seen him light up like that before.
But soon the times got darker. The war rolled over them, and Lily and James were in danger. The Order Of The Phoenix started to have more meeting than usual. And then came the worst day of them all.
Remus woke by the door to the flat shutting harshly and Sirius turning on the lights. Remus had fallen asleep in a chair with a muggle book in his lap. Sirius looked completely broken and out of himself.
"That bastard1 He fucking ratted on them! I am going to find him and kill him!" Sirius was angry. Remus hurried over to his boyfriend and took his hands, the tears started forming in Sirius eyes. "Remus, they're dead… Lily an James were killed by Voldemort. Peter told him where they were hiding…"
"No, they can't be!" Remus was starting to freak out. "How did Peter know where they were, aren't you the Safekeeper?"
"No, I told them that Voldemort would suspect me, so I said they should use Peter,.. Remus, it's my fault…" Remus put his arms around Sirius. They were both crying now.
"No it isn't,, you just did what you thought was best for them," Remus whispered, afraid his voice was going to break if he spoke to loud. Sirius held him close.
"I got to find him." Sirius said and pulled away. Remus grabbed his arm.
"Please, don't go…" Remus said. "I have the feeling that if you leave now, I am never going to see you again."
"Remus, I love you so much. I'm not going to do anything stupid…" Sirius was hesitating, and Remus knew why.
"How are you going to find him?" Remus said, and cupped Sirius' cheek.
"Hagrid burrowed me his motorbike." Sirius said. He was afraid to go, but he had to, what could go wrong. "I really have to go…"
"I know," Remus whispered, and kissed him hard on his mouth. He somehow knew it would be the last time, for a very long time, if not, the last time ever. Sirius ran his fingers through Remus hair, and then pulled away. He rested his forehead against Remus' for a short time, but then Remus spoke. "You need to go know if you want just the slightest chance to catch him…"
"I know… try to sleep, okay?" Sirius whispered while pulling away.
"I will try," Remus said, breathing in slowly. Sirius pecked his lips one last time before going towards the door. When he was there, he turned around and looked at Remus.
"I love you so much. I always have, and I always will. You might not see me again, but now you know... and I am so sorry." Sirius said, his voice was shaking.
Remus didn't know what to say, he was also crying, and he was scared. He opened his mouth, and said the words that pretty much summed up how he felt. "I love you too… So much"
Sirius smiled at him, and then he was gone. Out the door and away. Remus vroke down in tears on the floor, he was gasping and crying. He was so scared and heartbroken, but he didn't blame Sirius, of course not, he just did what he felt was right.
Remus somehow fell asleep, after some time. When he woke, he was curled into a ball on the floor, he took a shaky breath, and then got up, he took the newest edition of The Daily Prophet and the frontpage made him cry again.
Sirius Black, convicted for murder of thirteen muggles and Peter Pettigrew. He is now in Azkaban along with Bellatrix Lestrange and Barty Crouch Jr.
Then came a longer explanation below, but Remus didn't believe it. Sirius wasn't coldhearted enough to kill thirteen muggles with no reason.
Remus didn't know what to do with himself, he stayed in the apartment for nearly three weeks, before Molly Weasley came and brought him to The Burrow. He slept in their couch a few months, and he was so thankful. Molly didn't want him to be alone, until she was certain he was okay, so he stayed. He played with the twins, Fred and George, while Molly was taking care of the newborn Ginny.
One day, he decided that he was ready. He told Molly that he wanted to travel the world, and that it maybe would help him get his mind of things. He was ready to move on, but he knew he would never forget Sirius Black.
Thank you so much for reading! If you could please leave a review telling me what you think, that would be lovely!